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Thread: Redemption

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    The Buckeye State!
    Posts
    1

    Cool Redemption

    1/8192.
    0.0122%.
    That is the chances of encountering a shiny Pokemon. My first encounter with one was an Exeggcute, in the Safari Zone(FR). I was not successful at capturing.
    Fast forward two years to me going through a new play of LG. I just made it to Six Island, and surfed next to the braille door. Then, a wild encounter.
    Marill.
    I wasn't surprised, as I had seen three on my way down. But after its battle cry, I didn't immediately release my Pokemon. I heard a sparkle sound, and noticed that this Marill was colored closer to teal than dark blue.
    My eyes widened as I realized what was happening, and quickly I swapped out my lvl 52 Lapras for a 15 Onix. I chose strength for my attack, and winced as I saw the Shiny's hp dwindle. When it stopped just above half health, I released the breath I was holding in, and prayed that what I did next would work.
    Ultra Ball, go!
    One wiggle.
    One more.
    Another.
    Stop.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    In a Forsaken world.
    Posts
    878

    Default

    Nice! This is a pretty good piece of work!

    By the way, this is called a microfiction, so it would go in the Fan Fiction section.

    You need a bit of work on your grammar, but mostly this is great!

    You might want to think about re-writing this so it's significantly longer, okay?

    Keep Writing!

    -Shymain

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    20

    Default

    I wish I could redeem myself when I lost a chance to capture a Unown because my batteries died out. :/

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    NW England
    Posts
    6,328

    Default

    If you want to fiction making a thread here is not the best place to do it. If you want to write about your game experience.. you can use this thread: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...-Fresh-Edition

    But Fan Fiction may be the best place for it: http://www.serebiiforums.com/forumdi...32-Fan-Fiction

    Shutting,
    Writing LJ Twitter Raptr


    MikeSharpeWriter.com -Project Elfish Jarate

    3DS - 3007 - 8991 - 4413 (VM/PM me to add you)

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