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Thread: Destiny Bonds

  1. #26
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    Im not very good with literature so i'll leave the reviews to shymain and the others but nice story so far can't wait for the next chapter .

  2. #27
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    Thanks for the reviews everyone! They are VERY appreciated! Sorry that this chapter once again turned up too short for whatever reason... I am trying to get better at that! :/ But anyways, without further ado, here is the next chapter:

    Chapter Six: Unexpected Happenings...

    "Get back here you stupid pests!" The Absol cried at us, as he began to gain on us... he was just too fast, even for an Absol! There was definitely something strange about him... I could tell.

    "What do we do, what do we do, what do we do?!" I pondered as my friends and I ran for our lives.

    "Sky, what do we do?!" Swoobat asked me.

    "How should I know! That is what I am trying to figure out!" I said, a bit irritably.

    "Guys, stop squabbling... you are slowing us down!" Joltik quickly said to both of us. He was riding atop of Swoobat, hanging on for dear life as we ran from this evil Absol.

    "This feels like it is coming out of some cliché book or movie..." I muttered under my breath. "The chase, an evil weirdo villain, it just all sounds so cliché... and it is happening to me of all people! Well, Pokémon now I guess..."

    But my ponderings were cut short as I felt some claws raking at me from behind.

    "Owww!" I yelled as I tried to kick the evil Absol, who I was sure was the one who was scratching me. But when I looked behind, no one was there. I started to freak out a bit on the inside, but I just kept running... I didn't dare stop.

    "Sky? Are you alright?" Swoobat huffed at me.

    "No. I'm not... there is something bad going to happen. I just know it!" I said with a deathly stare in my eyes. All of a sudden, something began to attack me, which I caught out of the corner of my eye. I was shocked when I saw a Marill coming towards me. But this Marill wasn't like any other... there was something wrong with it. It was black, with evil red eyes. As I stood in awe looking at this strange Pokémon, it came and attacked me, biting my leg!

    "Ow!" I screamed, as I quickly tried to use sucker punch on it. I failed, as a Chatot began using peck on my face so I couldn't see a thing!

    "Hey, stop it!" Swoobat said as she quickly used Confusion on the Chatot. This hardly made it flinch.

    "You think you can stop me, you dimwits?!" he shrieked with a pure look of evil on his face. He didn't look like a normal Chatot either, he was all black, but his eyes weren't red like Marills. They were blue instead.

    "Stop this! Leave us alone!" Joltik yelled as he used thunderbolt on the Marill. This knocked it out, but only for a brief moment.

    "You're not going anywhere." The Marill said as it slowly got up from being struck by Thundershock, which with Joltik being so small, had actually done quite a lot of damage!

    "Oh yeah? Says who?!" I said as I quickly used Bite on the Chatot.

    "Ouch!" It yelled once it had been hit by the move.

    "Why are you really here?!" Swoobat quickly said.

    "Why should I tell someone as stupid as you that?!" He snickered back at us.

    "Hey! What gives you the right to call her that?!" I quickly growled back.

    "Hey, I am just doing what pleases my master." He said with a devious smile on his face. "And you must be Sky, who he has sought after for so long."

    "How do you know my name?!" I asked back, starting to panic a little after the Chatot had said this.

    "Why does it matter?" He said back, simply.

    "Where is your master?" I quickly asked him. I figured this master was obviously the evil Absol, but I just wanted to know where he had gone off to. It was like he was setting us up for some reason...

    "Why should I tell you?" He was really annoying me now by his smarty-pants remarks.

    "Tell me now, or else I will attack you again!" I snarled. My inner Absol was starting to take over once again...

    "Woah... what's up with Sky? It's like he totally changed in an instant." Swoobat observed.

    "Yeah? And you think I am going to be scared of a human like you?!" The Chatot finally had said it. I had been waiting for him to finally reveal the truth about what they knew about me, and he had finally done it. He and his so called master knew that I was a human. But how, and why?!

    "How do you know that?!" I snapped back.

    "Why should I tell you? Remember, I am just doing what my master wants me too... I will obey him no matter what!" By this time the Marill, who had been letting the Chatot take over for the past while, finally came back over and started attacking us again. It quickly used its BubbleBeam attack on me, shrouding me with hundreds of bubbles.

    "Ack, stop it!" I screamed. But it was no use, as it didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon.

    "You fool!" The Chatot laughed as it watched me. "Haha!"

    "Hey! Stop treating my friend like that!" Swoobat than used Heart Stamp on the Chatot, which made it flinch so it couldn't move.

    "How dare you think you can stop me!" He shreaked, but he couldn't move.

    Swoobat than used Heart Stamp on the Marill as well, but this time it didn't make it flinch. It turned to face her and was about to attack when the ground started to shake and rumble.

    "What's that?" I quickly said, shaking. "What's happening?!"

    "Ah." Was all the Chatot said. "It's finally time."

    "Time for what? What's going on?!" Swoobat desperately shrieked.

    The Chatot and Marill didn't answer, and just sat there with their devious grins still on their faces, as they obviously anticipated whatever was about to happen.

    "You better not think you are going to get away with this!" Joltik cried, as he quickly used bug bite on the Chatot.

    "Who says we won't?!" Was all the Chatot said back.

    The ground continued to shake, as we all kept running through the tunnel. Interestingly enough the Marill and Chatot didn't try to follow us, but instead just stayed rooted to the spot of the tunnel they were in.

    "Hey, I see light!" I yelled happily.

    "Yeah! That must be the end of the tunnel!" Joltik cried joyfully.

    "Yeah... but don't look behind you... just run!" Swoobat slowly said.

    "Why...?" I said as I slowly turned my head, but kept running forward. But before I saw it, I heard it. An explosion!

    "What the?!" I yelled as I ran for dear life for the end of the tunnel. "This whole tunnel is going to explode!"

    "What?!" Joltik yelled in panic. "But how, why?!"

    "I don't know... just run!" Swoobat said, also in panic.

    We ran for dear life before the bomb reached where we were in the tunnel. We didn't know if we would make it or not...

    "As long as we made our master happy, that is all that matters!" We heard the Marill cry from within the tunnel. It finally dawned on me that they hadn't ran to try to catch us since they wanted to be caught by the explosion! They hadn't cared if they got blown to bits!

    "Yes... truer words have never been spoken!" Was the Chatot's last words.

    I didn't say anything, but I knew what Swoobat and Joltik were thinking - would we survive the explosion, or would we be blown to bits just like the Chatot and Marill?

    "Ahhh!" We cried as we finally reached the end of the tunnel, and started to run for our dear lives up the stairs to the safety of the above ground. The heat of the explosion soon reached us as we leaped to safety on the soft grass. I was just thankful to be alive, unlike some other Pokémon I had known...

    "Swoobat, Joltik, are you alright? We made it!" I yelled happily as I ran over to my friends. But my happiness soon turned to despair as I saw my friend Joltik, who wasn't looking so good...

    "Joltik! Are you alright?!" I said with a ghostly look on my face. "Swoobat! I don't think Joltik is alright..."

    "Huh? Joltik? What about Joltik!" I then realized that Swoobat must have been knocked out for a brief amount of time, and was just regaining her consciousness.

    "I don't think he is OK... I don't know if he survived the blast or not... we need to get help right away!" I looked around desperately for anyone who could help, and so did Swoobat.

    "Hey, I know someone who might be able to help! Hurry, and follow me!" Swoobat than began to lead the way towards the left half of the forest. I grabbed Joltik and put him on my back, and quickly ran after her. Would my friend be OK? And where was the evil Absol and what was he plotting to do against us next...?
    Last edited by Cassafrass1999; 18th August 2013 at 6:02 AM.
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  3. #28
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    Nice chapter!

    You really went overboard with the cliches just for the sake of irony, didn't you?

    Funny, all of this chapter happened while running from an Absol... a bit too much while doing one thing, IMO.

    So the other Absol is supposed to be like Gengar in Gingi's Adventure/PMD Rescue Team?

    So, mistakes:

    Chapter Six:Unexpected Happenings...
    There should be a space after the colon.

    And, just in case you don't know, you capitalize the names of attacks.

    Well, that's all for now!

    Keep Writing!

    -Shymain

  4. #29
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    Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it. A new chapter should be up tomorrow, so don't worry! I am trying to get a new routine going, that goes like this:

    Write chapter

    Put it onto special computer writing program

    Come back to it the next day and go over it, fixing any and all mistakes.

    I got this info from Knightfall on here, who kindly gave me this advice, which I thank him for that. So you should expect the new chapter to be up tomorrow!

    You should also know that I capitalized the attacks since I though that was the proper thing to do... is it not?

    And one other thing: Remember when a review or so ago you said that I used the word "kept" twice in one sentence? Could you please tell me which one? I tried to go back and see, but I couldn't find it! >.<

    Thanks again for all the help!
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  5. #30
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    Uh... That's strange. The attack that wasn't capitalized has been capitalized... Must have been an edit.

    Yeah, let me find that...

    Aha!

    I kept growling at the bushes as they kept rustling.
    The first sentence in chapter five. Rather change the second one to 'continued to rustle' in stead of 'kept rustling'.

  6. #31
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    Hmmm... OK, that is strange. Should I change it or just leave it be capitalized? :/

    And thanks for finding that for me! I could not for the life of me find it myself lol... that is redundant. Let me fix it right away! XD
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  7. #32
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    Yeah, leave them capitalized, and I just noticed a mistake in one of the attacks:

    Swoobat than used Hear Stamp on the Marill as well
    Hear Stamp should be Heart Stamp.

    Okay, you're welcome!

  8. #33
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    Oh, must have missed that lol! Let me go fix that mistake ASAP... and thank you once again for the help! XD
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  9. #34
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    Here's the next chapter! Enjoy.

    Chapter Seven: More Dangers Approach, and a Few Clichés as Well...

    "Swoobat, who is this Pokémon that you say can help Joltik?" I asked the bat as I ran as quickly as I could to keep up with her as she flew.

    "He's an old friend of mine... a wise Watchog, who will surely be able to help Joltik." She paused for a moment, but then muttered under her breath: "At least I hope so."

    We ran (well, Swoobat flew) until we reached a ravine, with a rickety old bridge leading across it to the other side. I gulped as he looked down into it, not being able to see the bottom. I then looked back at the bridge, and began to examine it. It looked as if it was going to fall apart any moment.

    "Swoobat..." I cautiously began to say. "Do you think crossing this is a good idea?"

    But Swoobat was already on the other side of the ravine when I looked back at her.

    "Gah! How did you get over there so quickly?!" I yelled, astonished at the bat for having been able to cross it so swiftly.

    "Duh! I have wings!" She said as she landed and pointed at her wings, obviously trying to make me feel like I was stupid.

    "Grrr..." was all I growled back. I then peered at the bridge once more. Was it really safe to cross? I wasn't so sure...

    "Swoobat, I don't know if I should cross this bridge..." I said with a hint of fear in my voice.

    "Oh, right! You don't have wings... poor, poor you." She said with a cooing voice. She was really getting on my nerves now.

    "Grrr, I will prove to you that it isn't bad that I don't have wings!" Was all I growled back. I then boldly took a step onto the bridge. It creaked a bit, but luckily it didn't break.

    "See? No problem! I do wish this didn't feel so cliché again though... am I cursed with clichés or something?" I said this as I took another step out onto the bridge, and then another.

    "Can't you pick up the pace? We have a friend at stake here, remember!" She said to me, slightly annoyed.

    "Alright, alright! Miss bossy today, are we?" I then turned my head to check up on Joltik, only to find that he wasn't there!

    "Where is Joltik?!" I yelled, looking all around, trying to make sure that he hadn't fallen off of my back.

    "Silly, he is on my back now! I snatched him from yours right before I tried to cross this ravine. Didn't you notice? You are really funny but weird..." She giggled.

    I had had about enough of her smarty pants remarks, so I made a bold move and started to actually run across the bridge full force!

    "Oh yeah? Well watch this!" I yelled as I ran across the bridge. It was all going fine until I looked behind me to see a Stantler running towards me of all things! But this wasn't any ordinary Stantler... as soon as I saw it's eyes, I knew it just had to be one of the evil Absol's henchmen.

    "Hey, what're you doing?!" I yelled at the Stantler. It didn't say anything, but just continued to run towards the bridge I was crossing. I gulped as it stopped right at the edge of the bridge, and picked up one of it's hooves. I could see where this was going, and yelled as it used it's hoof and used it to break the bridge ropes!

    "Ahhh!" I screamed as the bridge began to fall down towards the ravine, with me still on it. How had the Stantler's hoof been so sharp as to break a rope? I didn't know, but as I pondered this I saw something starting to fly towards my head.

    "Sky!" Swoobat screamed as she boldly started to fly down into the ravine to try to save me. She had left Joltik on a tree stump in the forest, hoping that the evil Pokémon wouldn't find him.

    "Sky, are you OK?!" She quickly asked me.

    "Do I look like I'm OK?! Hurry up and help me!" I screamed as my paws began to slip from the bridge. I was certain that I was going to fall down into the ravine, right then and there, when some kind of Pokémon flew at my face and began to smack my face.

    "Ahhh! Stop it!" I yelled as it began to bat at my face. It was obviously a Ledian, as I quickly stole a glance at it.

    "Stop hurting my friend!" I heard Swoobat scream, as she swooped in and used the move Confusion on the Ledian.

    "Stop you fool!" The Ledian snarled back.

    Then it happened. My claws finally slipped from the bridge. I was plummeting towards my death, that was surely going to follow any second. I screamed as I fell closer and closer towards the rocky ground below.

    "Sky!" Swoobat screamed, racing towards me, but knowing that there was no way she was going to make it to me on time.

    As I was just about to touch the rocky ground inside of the ravine, I began to pass out... all I remembered was finally thinking to throw one of my Poke balls, hoping it was the right one that contained the Pokémon I needed most at that moment...

    ~ Back In the Human World ~

    "What?! Our precious Sky in danger?!" Sky's mom said, starting to cry a little. "My baby boy!"

    "Yes, I know that this is hard news to swallow Mrs. Taylor, but it's the truth, and I felt that you should obviously know right away. I promise that my team of scientists and I will do everything we can do to get him back home safely." Professor Juniper said this with sympathy in her voice.

    "We trust that you will, Juniper. You have never let us down before, and we are certain that you won't now." Was all Mr. Taylor said back.

    ~ Back In the Pokemon World ~

    I awoke in a large patch of grass, with sunlight pouring over my fur. I slowly looked around myself, to find that I was back on land in the forest, with tall trees surrounding me. I quickly sat up, checking my body to see if I was still alive. All my bones were intact, and I was still an Absol. I quickly sank back down again, relieved, although I had hoped that I would wake up as a human instead of still being a Pokémon.

    "Ah, you are finally up I see." Said a voice that sounded like I had heard it before...

    "Salamence, is that you?" I said as I bolted upright to face my Pokémon.

    "Yes, yes, it is me. But how are you feeling? Are you alright?" He said with a gentle tone in his voice.

    "Yeah, I think so... but why am I not... dead?" I said with a small voice.

    "Haha, you let me out of my Poke ball just in time so I could come out and save you!" He smiled at me. "I am just glad that you are alright."

    "I am too!" I said as I got up and walked towards my Pokémon. "I thank you for saving me."

    "It was no problem." He said as he smiled at me.

    "Hey Sky! You're alright!" Swoobat said as she came in. "I am so glad! But look who else is feeling better."

    Joltik than peeped out from behind Swoobat's head. "I am OK!" He said happily, jumping off of her and coming towards me to give me a hug.

    "Joltik! You're alright! I am so glad." I said as I hugged him back, which was a little awkward considering his small stature, but I was just happy to have him back.

    "I hate to break up the party, but I just got a wonderful idea that I just had to tell you!" Swoobat quickly blurted out, ruining the moment.

    "Yes Swoobat, what is it this time?" I said, rolling my eyes as I was clearly annoyed.

    "How about we have one of those 'Pokémon Battles' you told us about a little while back? I think it would be fun!" She said smiling.

    "What?! But how?! There are no trainers here, and that would just be weird since I am now a Pokémon." I was shocked at hearing such a ridiculous statement from Swoobat.

    "Well, I was thinking of mixing it up a little." I thought "uh-oh" to myself as I saw the mischievous look on her face. "You would be the Pokémon fighting, and your Pokémon would be the trainers!"

    "What?! Have you gone insane?!" I practically screamed at her.

    "Woah, woah, woah... Sky, calm down. Swoobat's idea actually does sound pretty cool, you have to admit." Joltik tried saying to me.

    I was practically ready to blow up. "How in Arceus' name is that a good idea?!" I couldn't help myself, I was furious now. And it is really hard to make me angry... but when I do, I get furious.

    "Sky, control yourself. That would be an awesome thing to do! I have always dreamed of what it would be like to be a trainer..." Salamence said in an almost trancelike state.

    My rage started to fizzle down a little as I began to think over Swoobat's idea. Salamence and Joltik did have a point. This could be fun if I tried it, but I wasn't sure how it would turn out... I sighed, and then said: "Alright, fine, you win. But this is just for fun, as we need to hurry up and figure out how to turn me back into a human, remember?"

    Swoobat and Joltik winked at each other, and I overheard Joltik say: "I knew I could convince him!"

    Would this go well, or would it turn out to be a disaster? I would soon find out...
    Last edited by Cassafrass1999; 19th August 2013 at 1:06 AM.
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  10. #35
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    This is quite the Fic you got here! Very attention grabbing. Good work mate!
    Training Pokemon like it's going out of style!

  11. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodle's_Kecleon View Post
    This is quite the Fic you got here! Very attention grabbing. Good work mate!
    Thank you so much for the kind words! Could you please give me some more info about it though? Like, what did you think was good and bad about my fic? You don't have to if you don't want to, but I would really appreciate it if you did. Thanks!
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  12. #37
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    Hey, sorry for the late review, but it happened again, if you know what I mean...

    Well, for a start, I thought that this was supposed to be a serious fic. Am I wrong?

    "He's an old friend of mine... a wise Watchog, who will surely be able to help Joltik."
    That comma doesn't belong there...

    "Oh yeah? Well watch this!" I yelled as I ran across the bridge. It was all going fine until I looked behind me to see a Stantler running towards me of all things! But this wasn't any ordinary Stantler... as soon as I saw it's eyes, I knew it just had to be one of the evil Absol's henchmen.

    "Hey, what're you doing?!" I yelled at the Stantler. It didn't say anything, but just continued to run towards the bridge I was crossing. I gulped as it stopped right at the edge of the bridge, and picked up one of it's hooves. I could see where this was going, and yelled as it used it's hoof and used it to break the bridge ropes!
    In both of the examples of dialogue you used yelled. Rather change one of them to a synonym such as screamed or shouted.

    "Ahhh! Stop it!" I yelled as it began to bat at my face. It was obviously a Ledian, as I quickly stole a glance at it.
    I get what you're trying to say here, but it wasn't conveyed very well. It's sorta confusing...

    Well, those are all of the mistakes that I could find. On a side note, this chapter seemed shorter than normal. I recommend prioritizing the length, then description, then action. The action isn't actually that valuable if the chapter isn't very long, and you need description to, well, describe it well.

    That's the end of my review!

    Keep Writing!

    -Shymain

  13. #38
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    Looks like you added some humor in this chapter. Humor is fine when you use it serious stories once in a while, but I don't think using it in the other chapters would be good.
    Anyways, I hope you'll make the next few chapters more serious. This was supposed to be a serious story after all, right?
    Keep it up.
    Last edited by PokemontrainerY; 24th August 2013 at 9:46 AM.
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  14. #39
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    Thanks for the reviews guys! This fic is supposed to be serious, but also funny as well... I like a mix between the two themes, ya know? Although do you think that is bad...? :/

    And I will fix those mistakes! Expect a new chapter up hopefully soon... possibly tomorrow.
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

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    This is great and very interesting. There are some grammatical errors, but it's only minor and they've already been picked up.
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  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ninfia-Fan View Post
    This is great and very interesting. There are some grammatical errors, but it's only minor and they've already been picked up.
    Thank you so much for the review! I know about the small errors and am gonna try to fix them when I can, but besides that thanks! But if you don't mind, can you please tell me what you exactly liked about my story? What were the things that were good and bad about it... thank you!

    Oh and don't worry all of my friends, I haven't abandoned this fic! X3 It is just that I have been super busy lately and on top of that I haven't been in the writing "mood", if you know what I mean... I want to make sure I bring you a great next chapter, and not a quickly thrown together one. Just wanted to tell everyone!
    Last edited by Cassafrass1999; 25th August 2013 at 5:05 PM. Reason: Forgot to add the last part of my post LOL!
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  17. #42
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    I wish I could read the rest! It is so interesting!
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  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by pikaskipper View Post
    I wish I could read the rest! It is so interesting!
    Awww, well thank you for this! Don't worry... I am coming out with more chapters hopefully soon! If you don't mind me asking, what were the good things you liked about my story, and the not-so-great things? What was your overall critique of the story? Thanks!
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  19. #44
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    I liked the idea about having your pokemon in your pokeballs, and I like how everything seems evil...oooohh....XD
    I don't think I dislike anything about it, it's an awesome story! Kind of weird having pokemon battles as pokemon. XD
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  20. #45
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    Sorry for the SUPER long wait, but chapter 8 is finally here! Enjoy everyone!

    Chapter Eight: Secrets are Beginning to be Revealed...

    "Guys...?" I said cautiously as Swoobat, Joltik, and my Pokémon led me to a large grassy field as they got me ready to battle. "I am not so sure about this..."

    "Come on, don't worry!" Swoobat said with complete confidence in her voice. "It will be totally fine!"

    Joltik just nodded at me.

    "Well, if you say so..." I then gulped as I got ready to face my opponent. "But who am I going to face?"

    "Me!" My Salamence roared, striking fear into my heart. Me versus him?! That is crazy!

    "No... no, no, no. I can't do this." I said as I began to back away.

    "Come on... it will be fun! I won't be too hard on you." Salamence quickly told me.

    I turned my head to look back at my friends, who continued to nod, and then back at Salamence. I then sighed.

    "Fine, you win. Let's hurry up and get this over with..." I said. Then I heard a something ring in the distance.

    "What was that?!" I said, freaking out.

    "Jeez, Sky, haven't you ever heard a bell before? It is announcing you guys to start fighting!" Swoobat said, pointing at the bell in her hand.

    "Where'd you get that?!" I quickly said, my cheeks beginning to feel hot.

    "Don't you think we know how to make bells and such?" Joltik told me, holding his sides as he laughed.

    "Ugh..." was all I said. I then faced back to Salamence, and got ready to fight. As soon as I heard the bell ring again, I quickly used Sucker Punch, which hit Salamence pretty hard. But he soon hurried and got up again, using Outrage on me!

    "Owww!" I screamed in pain. "I thought you were gonna go easy on me?!"

    "I am... you must've trained me too well then, eh?" He said with a menacing look in his eyes. "Hey, Pidgeot! How about me and you switch out?"

    "Sure!" Pidgeot quickly said, as it came to face me. "You ready for this, pal?"

    "I think so..." I said, quickly getting up and shaking my fur. "Come at me." I was beginning to have a lot of fun with this, actually.

    "Take this!" Pidgeot yelled as she tried to use Air Slash. But I quickly used Sucker Punch before she had the time to fully execute her plan.

    "Ack!" She yelled. She fell to the ground for a moment, but quickly got up and shrugged off my attack.

    "For your first time battling, you are pretty good!" She said with a soft smile on her face. "But can you take this?"

    "Let's see." I said with a determined smile on my face.

    "Well, here you go!" Pidgeot yelled as she used Hurricane on me. I tried to overcome the attack by using Bite, but my attack missed as Hurricane swept me away.

    "Ah!" I yelled as I got swept off the ground.

    "Can you keep going?" Pidgeot asked me softly, with a concerned look on her face.

    "Yeah... I will be fine. As a matter of fact, do you have any potions I could use, Joltik?" I asked the spider quickly.

    "Yeah, sure... but is it ok with your Pokémon if you use one?" He said, already skittering to go show me where the potions are.

    "It is fine, right guys?" Pidgeot asked the rest of my Pokémon. They all nodded their heads.

    "Awww, thanks guys." I said as I walked over to where Joltik stashed his potions, which was back inside the house on a shelf stuffed full of berries and potions. I quickly grabbed one and sprayed it on myself, and I gradually began to feel better.

    "Alright, let's finish this!" I yelled playfully as I ran back over to my Pokémon. Pidgeot and Zoroark looked at each other and both nodded. Zoroark came to battle against me next.

    "Let's see if you are a match for my lightning fast moves." She said, smiling at me with a determined look on her face.

    "Oh yeah? Let's see..." I said as I tried to use Sucker Punch on her. It hit her, but didn't do too much damage. She quickly retaliated and used Foul Play on me.

    "Ack!" I yelled as the move hit me at full force. "You are pretty strong, Zororark."

    "Well, it helps that I have a great trainer." She said back, with a sweet smile on her face.

    "How about some of this?!" I yelled as I quickly used Razor Wind on her. She yelled as the wind sent shivers down her spine as it whipped her around.

    "I... I can't battle anymore. You found my weakness with my defense... good battle." She said weakly. Swoobat quickly carried some potion over to her and let her spray it on herself, so she could get better. She then gestured for my Pikachu to try out its luck with battling me. He obliged, and hurried over and got ready to fight.

    "Let's see if you can beat my own lighting fast moves, pun intended!" He said with a mischievous look on his face.

    "Alright, let's do it!" I said as I got ready to fight. But right when I was getting ready to try to use Sucker Punch on Pikachu, we heard something in the distance.

    "Huh? What is that?" I wondered... the noise got louder and louder as it came nearer and nearer. My fur bristled, and my Pokémon got ready to fight in case they were needed. Swoobat and Joltik just look onwards with scared looks on their faces.

    "I don't know... uh-oh." I said, as I saw a shadowy figure coming towards us. A large one.

    "I think it is a... a Tropius!" Joltik shouted.

    "What?!" Swoobat and I both said at the same time.

    "Jinx!" She said back. I just groaned... this wasn't a good time for one of her goofy jokes.

    I turned to look at the Tropius once more. It's eyes were a deep red, and the Fruit around it's neck was rotton and gross. The leaves on it's back were wilted and dead looking. I gulped, as I tried to think of a way to overcome this thing. What did it want with us? As it was clearly another of the Evil Absol's henchmen. Er, make that hench-Pokemon.

    "What do you want with us?!" I shouted as I ran up to it to try and use Sucker Punch. But the Tropius didn't say anything, and just began to run up to me to try and use the move Leaf Storm. But my Sucker Punch hit it first, making it fall to the ground (as it had previously been flying), and looked at me.

    As it looked at me, I noticed it was making the most sad eyes I could ever see... they were red, that was sure, but there was sadness behind them... an innocence, as if it didn't want to hurt me... but it had to because it was being controlled.

    I stopped attacking, and just stared at it for a moment. But the sadness soon left it's eyes as it got up once again and used Magical Leaf, trying to hit me. I quickly tried to dodge the attack, but I wasn't quick enough - Magical Leaf quickly hit me. I yelped in pain as I felt the sharp leaves rush over my fur, slicing me in all directions of my body.

    I looked at the Tropius with a true look of innocence, and I saw it once again have a sad look from the back of it's eyes. But this was soon interrupted when Joltik came running towards the Tropius as fast as he could, and used Thunderbolt on it!

    But unfortunately this didn't work so well, as Grass Pokémon were already very strong against Electric type Pokémon, and because Joltik was so much smaller then the large Tropius.

    "Uh oh..." Joltik said as he began to panic. The Tropius was beginning to lift it's giant foot above Joltik, and was about to slam it down on him!

    "Hey! Leave my friend alone!" I heard Swoobat yell, as she swooped in quickly and used Heart Stamp on the Tropius. This thankfully made him flinch, and gave Joltik just enough time to make his getaway.

    "Thanks, Swoobat." Joltik huffed, looking thankfully at his friend.

    "No prob." Swoobat quickly said back.

    But by the time this has all taken place, the Tropius was already getting up and heading my way!

    "Ah!" I screamed, as I quickly rushed towards it to try and use Bite. But I quickly tried to halt as I saw the look in the Tropius's eyes once again, which showed a look of pure innocence. I tried to stop my attack, but couldn't as I was already rushing towards Tropius. I then used the attack, which knocked it out.

    "What happened, Sky?" Joltik quickly said as he rushed over to me.

    "I... I don't know. It was if I knew that the Tropius wasn't meaning to do this... there was a look in it's eyes... of pure sadness." I said back, gasping for breath.

    "Really?" Was all Swoobat replied.

    I was about to reply back to her when I saw the Tropius begin to stir. It slowly got up, and I got ready to fight if I had to - but I was hoping I wouldn't.

    "Huh... where am I? Where is my baby, where is he?!" She said getting up, while she began screaming.

    "Hey! You are with us... something happened to you. But I think you are OK now." Was all I said back, trying to sooth her. Something had clearly happened... she hadn't meant to attack us. I could see it in her eyes once again.

    "Who are you? Why am I here? Please, just tell me where I can find my baby!" She said, starting to cry.

    "Woah, woah, woah. Hold on. I am Swoobat!" Swoobat began to say quickly. "And this is my buddy, Joltik, and my new friend named Sky!"

    "Nice to meet you all... but please, I just want to know where my baby is!" She was getting very desperate now. I could tell.

    "We will get to that. First off, what happened? You were trying to attack us a moment ago... why?" I cautiously asked her.

    "I what?!" She said, bursting into tears. "I am so sorry! I didn't mean to... it all was because of this evil Absol..."

    My ears perked up at the words "evil Absol". "What about this evil Absol?!" I quickly said.

    "Hold on, Sky. Let's take her back to the house... we can get her something to eat and try to make her at home, and then she can tell us her story." Joltik said, thinking things through.

    "Alright... good idea. I am sorry, erm... your name?" I said, blushing.

    "Oh, you can just call me Tropius... now my baby on the other hand is Junior. But I will tell you all about what happened to him once we get back to the house..." her voice trailed off, as she began to start crying again. I knew this would be a long night, but I would try to do the best I could to make Tropius feel at home, especially so my friends and I could get some desperately needed answers...

    "Well, it all started when I was outside picking some fruit for my baby the other night, when all of a sudden this Marril, Chatot, and Absol rushed over to me. But they didn't look normal... their eyes were red, and the Absol had a terrible scar running down the side of his face." She said this with a look of terror on her face.

    "It has to be them!" I said out loud, thinking to myself.

    "Hmmm? Who?" Tropius asked.

    "Oh, never mind... please go on." Was all I said back.

    "Well, alright... so these Pokémon came over to me, demanding me to hand over Junior to them. They said that they were going to do something special with him... but of course I said no, so with that they ran into my house (which is a little cave by the way) and took Junior right from me! I did everything I could to try and stop them, but it was just no use... they were too strong! Especially that Absol..." her voice began to trail off once again.

    "Please go on!" Swoobat encouraged her.

    "Well, all I remember after that is seeing a blinding light come over me, and seeing Junior being carried off by those horrible Pokémon, with me screaming in agony. I can't remember anything after that." She said this, tears streaming down her face. "I couldn't even protect Junior... what kind of mother does that make me?!"

    Swoobat, Joltik, and I all just looked at each other. We each felt very bad for her...

    "It wasn't your fault, Tropius." I began. "I think that Absol was trying to control you... but I don't know why exactly yet."

    "Control me? Could it be true?!" She said, tears still streaming down her face.

    "I am afraid to say this, but possibly." I said with a knowing look on my face. I will do everything I can to help save this Tropius's baby, I thought to myself, but I wasn't sure how exactly I was going to do that... but I knew I would find a way. Somehow...
    Last edited by Cassafrass1999; 30th August 2013 at 5:04 AM.
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  21. #46
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    Amazing! I love when they were battling eachother and the innocence in tropius' s eyes! That is amazing! Poor junior, we all feel bad...
    01010110 01001101 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101000

  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by pikaskipper View Post
    Amazing! I love when they were battling eachother and the innocence in tropius' s eyes! That is amazing! Poor junior, we all feel bad...
    Awww... thank you for the review! I appreciate it. :3
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  23. #48
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    AAAAAGH! Evil Tropius!

    ...oh wait, he's not evil after all.

    I loved the mix of action, plot and humor in this chapter, and the length of this chapter was AMAZING!

    You still have some minor formality issues, but, meh, it's not important.

    "Jeez, Sky, haven't you ever heard a bell before? It is announcing you guys to start fighting!" Swoobat said, pointing at the bell in her hand.
    By announcing you mean telling, right? And I was also surprised that Pokčmon had that level of technology!

    Just a minor note: you said that Sky drank the Potion – but in the game/anime, it's actually a spray. Did you it know that, or did you intend to have Sky drink it, or what?

    Anyways, this chapter was well worth the wait! Oh, yeah, I HATE YOU, PIKASKIPPER! I wanted to be the first reviewer!

    Keep Writing!

    -Shymain

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shymain View Post
    AAAAAGH! Evil Tropius!

    ...oh wait, he's not evil after all.

    I loved the mix of action, plot and humor in this chapter, and the length of this chapter was AMAZING!

    You still have some minor formality issues, but, meh, it's not important.


    By announcing you mean telling, right? And I was also surprised that Pokčmon had that level of technology!

    Just a minor note: you said that Sky drank the Potion – but in the game/anime, it's actually a spray. Did you it know that, or did you intend to have Sky drink it, or what?

    Anyways, this chapter was well worth the wait! Oh, yeah, I HATE YOU, PIKASKIPPER! I wanted to be the first reviewer!

    Keep Writing!

    -Shymain
    Thank you so much! And thanks for pointing out those errors... don't know why I keep using formal words too much... weird. Never thought about that before... will have to keep my eye on that. Oh, and about the potions, I don't know what I was thinking at the time I wrote that but I thought that revives and such were the only things that were used as spray... lol. Oops... forgot it was for potions and stuff too. I will fix that when I can! Next chapter should hopefully be out sometime soon... maybe tonight or tomorrow... I will just have to wait and see.
    Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there... ~ The Real World by Owl City

  25. #50
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    This so great! Keep up the good work. You're leaving me hanging! (Sort of) I'm in love with this story!!!!!!
    [IMG]http://i44.*******.com/23ii7ih.jpg[/IMG]
    I got a song!! to the tune of "ive been working on the railroad":
    Oh I've been reloading my webpage
    all the live long day
    Oh I've been reloading my webpage
    just to wait for your reply
    ............

    join my new forum! It may be a work in progress but check it out anyway!

    here!
    http://gamzforums.freeforums.net/

    I am a Pokémon master!
    [IMG]http://i42.*******.com/bgnrlt.jpg[/IMG]

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