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Thread: I'm Cold and I Want to Go Home

  1. #1
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    Thumbs down I'm Cold and I Want to Go Home

    Hello. Writing is by no means my strong point, but I felt really bad that there are almost no PMD: Gates to Infinity fics. Many people haven't even played it due to the less-than-favorable reviews. However, though the story is not as heart-wrenching as PMD2, I think that the characters have a ton more depth. So... I intend to showcase that through this fic! All characters based on canon. It's just that they have names. You know how it is. (Though the story is largely based on canon, it still deviates a bit throughout, and actually a lot towards the end.)

    I'll try to update this often, but no promises. It's PG13? There will be violence (as expected), but nothing too heavy. Mainly, it's the themes dealt with that will up the rating. Of course, those won't show until really late into the story, so it's actually pretty PG at time of writing.

    Sorry about the abysmal inconsistent quality of writing. I like to think it gets better as time goes on. :x

    PM List:
        Spoiler:









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        Spoiler:- Prologue:



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        Spoiler:- Chapter List:



    Reviews are appreciated :D
    Last edited by Keysmash; 6th June 2014 at 8:13 PM.

  2. #2
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    *cough* Ahem, so I've broken too many rules to count in less than a day. I'm supposed to post the first chapter at most 15 minutes after the prologue, and I'm supposed to use proper grammar, always. Well, um... *cough* *cough* Let me just post this really short chapter to remedy some of that. Anyways, r and r, I guess. 0_0




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        Spoiler:- Chapter 1:



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    Sorry it's short, just seemed like a good place to end it off. (it's shorter than the prologue is ;_; Though the prologue is like a chapter in itself)
    Last edited by Keysmash; 28th May 2014 at 3:24 AM.

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    I'm gonna change it to a more conventional style of writing, I guess, since reading over the prologue again, it's pretty hard to understand...

    There are going to be so many chapters it's not even funny. 0_0



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        Spoiler:- Chapter 2:



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    Last edited by Keysmash; 28th May 2014 at 3:25 AM.

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    ================================================



        Spoiler:- Chapter 3:



    ===============================================
    Last edited by Keysmash; 28th May 2014 at 3:25 AM.

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    ================================================

        Spoiler:- Chapter 4:



    ===============================================
    Last edited by Keysmash; 28th May 2014 at 3:25 AM.

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    Nothing interesting enough to put as an A/N...


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        Spoiler:- Chapter 5:



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  7. #7
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    I started reading this fic and it's quite surprising. Writing in second person is pretty uncommon. But I think you handle it very well.
    And a GTI fic. I've been waiting to see that. I will be lurking your fic to read the coming chapters.

    Currently in Hoenn.
    Claimed Scyther

    Thanks to Chapter of Charizard for the Button
    PASBL explained ~ WF ~ Incoming absence alert
    Coming next year in the fanfic section:

    Thank you Astral Shadow for the Banner


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    Quote Originally Posted by Pink Harzard View Post
    I started reading this fic and it's quite surprising. Writing in second person is pretty uncommon. But I think you handle it very well.
    And a GTI fic. I've been waiting to see that. I will be lurking your fic to read the coming chapters.
    (yodeling) THANK YOU SIR but there won't be as much narration from here on out, mostly dialogue. Characterization and all...


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        Spoiler:- Chapter 6:




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    Last edited by Keysmash; 5th May 2014 at 11:15 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Keysmash View Post


    "Yes... this crossroads... you will become... familiar with... I'm sure... to the south... is your property... to the west... your original home... to the east... lands to explore... and to the north... is Post Town... let's go have a look... shall we...?"
    I'm afraid you made a mistake with the geography. The property is at the east, Post Town in the west, Explorations at the north and the group first arrived at the crossroads at the south.

    Other than that it looks good ^^

    Currently in Hoenn.
    Claimed Scyther

    Thanks to Chapter of Charizard for the Button
    PASBL explained ~ WF ~ Incoming absence alert
    Coming next year in the fanfic section:

    Thank you Astral Shadow for the Banner


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    Quote Originally Posted by Pink Harzard View Post
    I'm afraid you made a mistake with the geography. The property is at the east, Post Town in the west, Explorations at the north and the group first arrived at the crossroads at the south.

    Other than that it looks good ^^
    I was assuming that Post Town was in the north for some reason... I had a reason for this, I swear... well, I can't remember it now, so I'll just change it to the conventional directions. Thanks!

    EDIT: I remember now! Since, when we began, it was like a straight path from left to right through Ragged Mountain. So, I assumed that Post Town and Paradise were farther to the east, and our characters came from the west (beyond Ragged Mountain). When we got out of there, I was like 'oh crap' and had to flip the entire map 90 degrees clockwise. Guess that won't really work out. D:
    Last edited by Keysmash; 5th May 2014 at 11:17 PM.

  11. #11
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    Oops, time to go through and replace all the cardinal directions now D:



    ================================================


        Spoiler:- Chapter 7:



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    ================================================


        Spoiler:- Chapter 8:



    ===============================================

  13. #13
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    Running out of extra chapters, I'm going to have to sit down and start writing again D:

    ===============================================


        Spoiler:- Chapter 9:


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    So I kind of forgot about this...

    Anyways, I've planned most of this out, and it'll more or less follow canon until the post-post-game, where things will get... *ahem* different





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        Spoiler:- Chapter 10:



    ===============================================

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    Reading it now, all this is actually really boring. -_-;

    Also, I know blue spots actually mark the DLC, but just pretend it's Post Town, because it makes more sense.



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        Spoiler:- Chapter 11:




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    So how're readers (if any?) feeling about the characters' names? 0_0 I mean, just don't call them maybe.
    Last edited by Keysmash; 24th May 2014 at 1:10 AM.

  16. #16
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    Accidentally posted Chapter 11 twice. Fixed now. :D

    Also: current wordcount of chapters written (not all posted yet) is about 50k. And we've only met our first new Paradise members. Oh boy. We're on our way to a loooooooong story. 0_0



    ================================================

        Spoiler:- Chapter 12:


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    fight



    ================================================

        Spoiler:- Chapter 13:


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  18. #18
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    I enjoyed this chapter a lot. The Audino's where indeed annoying. And the name of Dragon Rage made me laugh. And why do we have to wait 'till the battle?
    I hope some others will read this story. It brings back memories of the GtI games. ^^

    I would like to give my compliments for your new banner. Kyruem looks really dangerous and awesome there.

    Currently in Hoenn.
    Claimed Scyther

    Thanks to Chapter of Charizard for the Button
    PASBL explained ~ WF ~ Incoming absence alert
    Coming next year in the fanfic section:

    Thank you Astral Shadow for the Banner


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pink Harzard View Post
    I enjoyed this chapter a lot. The Audino's where indeed annoying. And the name of Dragon Rage made me laugh. And why do we have to wait 'till the battle?
    I hope some others will read this story. It brings back memories of the GtI games. ^^

    I would like to give my compliments for your new banner. Kyruem looks really dangerous and awesome there.
    Ridiculous HP, those Audino... D: It'd be cool to see more people reply/review as well. It feels a little lonely in this thread... ;_;

    And many thanks for noticing the banner! Things like that certainly attract attention. And, of course, no foreshadowing here whatsoever (cough).

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    ================================================

        Spoiler:- Chapter 14:



    ===============================================

  21. #21
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    (changes avatar to the current situation of my fic like the trash I am)



    ================================================

        Spoiler:- Chapter 15:


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  22. #22

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    This is a great fic. I like how you keep the plot developing in each chapter, which doesn't always happen. I also like the twists and turns that you keep putting in. The banner looks great, too, and portrays Kyurem as being a powerful Legendary that he is, not just another enemy.

    Keep up the good work.

  23. #23
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    I made myself cry when I played through this part, but it's too sappy here imo

    EDIT: Thanks for the feedback, Mulan! Hope you'll keep reading. :P



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        Spoiler:- Chapter 16:


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  24. #24
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    I totally didn't forget about this, nope nope.





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        Spoiler:- Chapter 17:


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