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Thread: Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer

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    Default Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer

    Notes: This fic was inspired by a few things. The primary source of inspiration was the Broadway Musical, Rocky which was fantastic. The second was something that I saw on Deviantart. The usual disclaimers apply; pokemon belongs to nintendo and Ace Attorney belongs to Capcom. This is a T rated fic and a crossover with Ace Attorney.

    Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer

    He was only known as Pokemon Trainer Red: The champion that came from Pallet Town and the one who saved Kanto from being taken over by Team Rocket. Since then his legacy has been rinsed and repeated to allow more young heroes and heroines to make their dreams come true. But none were as strong nor as legendary as Red. The only one considered to be up to his level was Cynthia Fey: the champion of Sinnoh.

    Professor Oak had known Red for a long time. He knew that Red and his grandson were rivals ever since they were babies. Blue's short reign as the champion of Kanto was compensated as being a gym leader in Viridian City. It was rare for Red to make a public appearance since his victory in Indigo Plateau. Professor Oak was pleased to see him, but was curious about what he wanted. His face was stern and his fists were clenched together.

    "Hello Red," said the professor. "I'm pleased to meet you. Would you like me to rate your pokedex?"

    "No," Red said. "I would like battle this woman."

    Red took from his pocket, a magazine known as Oh! Cult. Professor Oak had never heard of the magazine before, but took it from Red and began to briefly read that bits that he assumed Red found important. The Professor had a feeling that Red knew very little about her, as Red didn't mention what her name was.

    There was a picture of a young woman wearing a traditional purple kimono and cloak. Around her neck was a yellow pendant shaped as a nine. She had a very special smile about her. According to the article her name was Maya Fey and she was the head of her clan and the master of the Kurain Channelling Technique. At the bottom of the page it also said that she loved Steel Samurai and Pokemon.

    "So you want to challenge Maya Fey to a pokemon battle?"

    Red nodded. "

    "Well, it appears that she is related to Cynthia. I will contact her and see if she can challenge you." After proof reading the article again, he steered his head towards Red. "Is there any particular reason why you would like to battle her?"

    "I want a different kind of challenger!" Red responded with a loud voice. The Professor could feel the fire within him burning. Red had done the unthinkable; he completed national pokedexes throughout the region and beating the pokemon league. He was the champion of all champions.

    "There are many trainers who would love to challenge you," Professor Oak reminded Red. "My grandson in particular would love a rematch."

    "I know that," Red replied. "But I want to battle somebody with raw talent. I don't know what kind of trainer Maya is, but reading that article... I felt something."

    "I'm sure you did." Professor Oak nodded his head. "She is a very attractive."

    "Not in that way!" Red blushed.

    "I will contact Cynthia and try and arrange a battle for you," Professor Oak promised. "I will let you if she accepts it or not."

    "All right!" Red said with his fist in the air. "Thanks!." Red scurried out of the lab but before he left, he stopped by the door and grinned at Professor Oak. "Tell Maya that I'll be waiting for her in the pokemon world tournament."

    ***

    When Maya was little, all she wanted to be was a pokemon master like a lot of kids at the time. Pokemon were enchanting creatures that captured the hearts and minds of many generations. What made it so spectacular for Maya was the fact that you could fit huge monsters in your pocket. Now in her early thirties, Maya was a different kind of master. By being the master of the Kurain Channelling Technique, she was by default head of her clan. Her village lived a very sheltered and matriotic society.

    It was a very fulfilling task. Being a spirit medium, the only pokemon she really got in contact with nowadays were either ghost types or ones that had passed away. Bikini's blissey wondered around the temples once in a while. When Maya was working as Phoenix Wright's assistant she got to many places that she could have only dreamt of going to. She met many great friends, fierce enemies and cracked the hardest of puzzles.

    She had seen pokemon come and go, but Maya had never owned a pokemon. After losing a sister, being framed multiple times and work and family commitments, the closet she had ever been to owning a pokemon was playing the games. The first generation of games were based on Red's real life events. Red was only ten years old when he chomped down Team Rocket and defeated Kanto's Pokemon League. He was one of the youngest pokemon champions in history.

    Her cousin, Cynthia was also very young when she was first crowned champion. It was a long time ago. She had lost contact with Cynthia a decade ago. She was on social media sites but her fan-base was so big, that her messages would get lost in cyberspace.

    The plump, larger than life Sister Bikini had stopped by to give Maya some new clothes. Bikini had treated all of Maya's cousins as if they were her own daughters, and since becoming the head of the clan, she was like a second mother to Maya as well. Bikini was a very kind woman. She would never wish any sort of harm to anybody, but she also had a sense of humour.

    "I wonder how Cynthia is getting up these days?" Bikini wondered. "Being a pokemon master must sure be hard work."

    "The games seem to be getting easier though," Maya said. "Or maybe it's because I've played through all the generations and I know what to expect."

    "Playing the games and doing it in real life are very different things," Bikini reminded Maya. "...Hang on a minute." She picked up binoculars from her pocket and her mouth dropped open. "Is that who I think it is?"

    Maya peered out from the window and saw a tall blond woman in black walking towards the temple. "CYNTHIA!" Maya cried from the top of her voice. Maya Fey ran towards her cousin and hugged her tight. Although Cynthia had very little spiritual power, she made a name for herself by being the most powerful female pokemon trainer in the world. Maya couldn't believe how much had changed since they last met. She hadn't seen Cynthia in a long time. Maya's aunt had disowned for her lack of spiritual powers. Even when Cynthia was first crowned champion of Sinnoh, Morgan was not interested.

    "I'm glad to see you," Cynthia said. She gave Maya a hug. "Congratulations on your position of master. It's long overdue... Sorry."

    "Oh it's okay." Maya chuckled. "It's better late than never. So Cynthia, what brings you here? I remember you saying that you wanted nothing to do with Kurain."

    "Well Maya, that was a long time ago," Cynthia explained. "But I've brought you some news."

    "News?"

    "Red wants to challenge you to a pokemon battle."

    "RED?" Maya shouted. She threw her arms by her side as her jaw dropped open. "You mean the pokemon trainer?"

    "Red read something about you saying that you love pokemon," Cynthia reminded Maya. "That's why Red wants to challenge you."

    "So he wants my friend code?" Maya asked as she was just about to get her 3DS out of her pocket.

    "No not in the games," Cynthia explained. "Red wants to battle you with real pokemon."

    "NO WAY!" Maya gasped. Her heart skipped a beat and she had an urge to faint.

    "Oh Maya," Sister Bikini cried out in joy. She rubbed her hands and couldn't stop chuckling. "This will be excellent for your training. You will be going on your own journey. You will face many challenges and the rewards will be amazing." Bikini smirked as she nudged Maya's shoulder. "Think of all the handsome men you'll meet. Especially them beauties in Hoenn."

    "You won't need to worry," Cynthia assured Maya. "Bill, the man who invented the pokemon storage system is doing an Eevee give away."

    "Wow eevees?" Maya asked. "How many?"

    "Oh they're free. You'll only be allowed one," Cynthia said. "But you'll need to register as a pokemon trainer first."

    "I want to accept Red's challenge," Maya said, and then she lowered her head. "But I'm not good enough. I've only played the games."

    "Like I said, you will be good enough. You'll be battling gym leaders, catching pokemon and entering leagues. You might even go as far as winning them."

    "All right!" Maya said. Cynthia's words instantly made Maya feel better. Even though she was excited, she had no idea what she was getting herself into. "I'll do it. So where and when do I start?"

    "Come with me," Cynthia said. "I will take you to Sandgem Town."

    It was all a big blow to Maya. She had played the pokemon games ever since Mia bought them for her as a child. Since she was so young, she couldn't remember the first generation of pokemon, but she remembered how epic she found the Gold, Silver and Crystal to be. Now she would be reliving her gaming experience for real.

    Her current team on Pokemon X was Goodra, Espeon, Bellossom, Infernape, Froslass and Mawile. Mawile was her mega-evolution and it was Maya's favourite pokemon because it was fierce, but so lovable at the same time. Goodra was her tank that took both physical and special moves very well. Espeon was a quick special sweeper whilst Infernape was a fast physical sweeper. Froslass, although frail, was lovely for setting up hazards such as spikes and destiny bond. Bellossom was there because she was Maya's favourite grass-type and she was also very adorable.

    Chimchar was Maya's favourite starter. There was something about the fiery monkey that she loved. She was glad that Cynthia was taking her to Sandgem Town to see Professor Rowan and Bill. Not only will she get an eevee but a chimchar too. She wanted to keep her real-life team as faithful to her in-game team as possible. She knew she had to get there fast, as she knew eevee was a popular pokemon. Eevee was a very adorable and versatile pokemon that could evolve to almost any type the trainer desires it to.

    Maya had always known that pokemon were real, but even though she loved the games, she had never had a pokemon of her own. She had a few plushies at home and even seen a lot of pokemon passing by when she was working with her best friend, Phoenix Wright. She would have loved to have had a pokemon of her own in real life, but many things had gotten in the way.

    Still, to this day she never understood why her Aunt Morgan hated her so much. She felt sorry for her and her cousins, Dahlia and Iris for everything they had been through. It didn't excuse what they did to Pheonix, but Dahlia was gone and Iris had made atonements. Cynthia was lucky to leave when she did. She went to her grandmother's house and decided that she wanted to stay in Sinnoh. Maya never knew her Great-Aunt Carolina, but had a feeling she may meet her soon.

    Sandgem Town was bigger than how Maya imagined it. She couldn't get out of her head how she saw it in Platinum on her DS. The games made the regions look so small. She could smell the sea salt from the busy beach. From a distance she saw a huge building and she didn't have to say anything. Maya knew from the dark colour of the building that it was Professor Rowan's lab.

    "So this is Sandgem Town." Maya lifted her chin as soon as the taxi stopped.

    "I haven't been here in a long time," Cynthia admitted. "It hasn't changed one bit."

    Maya hopped out of the car as soon as she could. "I am so looking forward to this!"

    Cynthia stood by her the entire time she was with Professor Rowan. Maya had no hestitations in choosing her starter. She knew if she ever had to pick a pokemon that it would be chimchar. And with the brief moments in the lab, Maya had started her journey with an eevee and a chimchar: she had no regrets. With both pokemon either side of her shoulder, Maya made her way to Route 202 with a smile on her face.

    She had to do this one step at a time. Her real pokemon journey would start in Sinnoh.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 28th May 2014 at 7:10 PM.


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  2. #2
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    Ace Attorney and Pokemon? Let's just say you got me interested right away.

    Alright, first things first. I like your characters. Your interpretation of Red seems pretty good, even if we don't see much of him. Cynthia and Maya seem pretty close to their canon selves as well, particularly Maya. I'm interested to see what her journey will be like, since it shouldn't be too typical since she's a murder mystery character in the Pokemon world. Also hoping a few more AA characters will show themselves.

    The idea of a fusion-verse is interesting, and in some aspects it works, in others it doesn't. The idea of Cynthia being related to the Feys is cool, as is the mention of Oh! Cult being what starts the adventure. But I can't help but wonder... if they clearly take place in the same universe (as evident by Cynthia), why doesn't Maya know that Pokemon are real? It's just a little strange that she's not aware of it.

    Also, while I'm fine with the Eevee as a starter (as there is enough of a game-related justification), I think the exposition about Maya's ingame team is a bit much. It's just that being told she has six specific Pokemon (especially since one of them is an Eevee evolution) kind of makes it a bit obvious what she's going to get later, which removes a bit of the mystery. I think we could just be told that her favourite is Mawile, really (which is a good choice for her, by the way!).

    Your description and dialogue is nice; the former especially has a good balance of not being too long while still having a good amount of depth. I think sometimes your dialogue gets a bit lengthy without any description to break it up, but it's nothing really too major.

    Anyway, this crossover sounds cool and I wish you luck!

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    Hmm, I am also interested in the idea of a AA and Pokémon crossover, and we all know some crossovers are even canonical for AA now, haha. Neat idea, I wonder how you'll go with this!

    I am a bit confused about Red's motivation however in the story. Sure, I can get that she's interested in this trainer because he's read that she likes Pokémon... but is that really unusual for the Pokémon world to begin with? And I'm not sure why he needed to go to Oak about that as well to contact her, seeing he would probably have access to stuff in the Pokémon Centre or whatnot. Seeing some more motivation for Maya to accept the challenge by going on a whole adventure first might have been useful as well, as it seemed a bit too sudden an acceptance by her to agree to go. Or maybe it was just the mention of handsome men. ;p I agree that maybe putting in some more description on how the characters talked/reacted would help break up dialogue, and could perhaps help with the above as well. It would help show more of the characters at any rate.

    I also laughed at the 3DS joke, and the idea that there were the Pokémon games in the Pokémon world. Does that mean there's a game based on Red's adventures in RBY (or FRLG) as well?

    Really, I'm intrigued to see how you will mix the elements of the two franchises. Will she use any channeling techniques or whatnot to give her the edge in battle, for instance? And like Chibi, I also wonder what other character we can expect to see from the PW universe in here. Something to look forward to, I suppose!
    "Hello Red," said the professor.
    Should be Professor, as you used it in every other instance with the capital.
    Red took from his pocket, a magazine known as Oh! Cult!.
    I like that magazine name, haha. I don't think you need that comma however.
    "All right!" Red said with this fist in the air.
    Also unsure about saying 'this fist' in the air (which fist?) Maybe you meant his fist?
    "Congratulations on your possition of master.
    position.
    "Oh it's okay." Maya chuckled.
    Maybe a comma could go after 'Oh' to indicate a pause in speech, but that may be just how I read it.
    "Well Maya that was a long time ago," Cynthia explained.
    There should be a comma before/after Maya, as she is being addressed to by name there.
    "Oh Maya," Sister Bikini cried out in joy.
    I was surprised as this was the first mention of her in the story; like she popped out of nowhere to say that.
    "Wow eevees?" Maya asked. "How much?"
    Try "Wow, eevees?" Maya asked. "How many?"


    Good luck with the rest of your fic!

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    Thank you Chibi_muffin and bobandbill. I'm working on the next chapter and made some changes to chapter one. Your reviews helped a lot.


    ☆ Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer
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    Chapter Two: Goomy

    Maya was one of the lucky ones who recieved a female eevee from the event. She decided to call her eevee, Espella after a friend she met in England. Espella was a fitting name for a future espeon. Then there was her chimchar. She wanted to nickname her pokemon to give them a more unique identity. She did it in the games whenever she had the chance. The first thing that came to her mind was Mr Burns. Chimchar was a fire type and Maya could picture her future infernape to be burning his opponents down.

    "Okay Chimchar," Maya said as she crouched down to his level. "From now on your name is Mr Burns!"

    Mr Burns gasped and scratched his head. He nodded.

    Espella was rubbing herself against Maya's back. Her little brown paws tapped on Maya's thighs. She then rolled around the road and licked Mr Burn's leg. Mr. Burns eyes popped as he glared at Espella.

    Maya giggled as she picked both pokemon up in her arms. "Hey guys cheer up. You're both going to be great battlers one day."

    Mr Burns grinned at the moment she mentioned battling. He hopped out of Maya's arms and threw random punches and kicks in the air.

    Before they knew it a horde of bidoof appeared popped out from the grass. Maya and her pokemon were surrounded. Mr. Burns and Espella were still very young pokemon and she had no idea how tough these bidoofs were.

    The bidoofs charged at Mr. Burns and before they could even tackle him on the floor, Espella scratched the ground and began throwing sand at the horde. Only two suceeded in tackling Mr Burns who just managed to hang on to his health.

    "Mr Burns," Maya called out. "Scratch one bidoof at a time and try and dodge their attacks." Mr Burns opened his mouth as he got his claws ready and striked each bidoof like pins in a bowling lane. Maya clapped her hands like a proud mother. A deep part in her heart forced her to squeal. "Well done Mr Burns." Her head turned to Espella. "And you too, Espella. I like how you lowered their accuracy to help Mr Burns attack."

    "Ohohoh! What a wonderful battle."

    The voice came from in front of Maya. By one of the trees was a lady dressed in purple. By her big hair and sharp accent, she knew straight away that it was Fantina, the gym leader of Hearthome City.

    "Fantina," Maya said. "Thank you." She felt honoured to be in the presence of a gym leader and to get a compliement.

    "For a new trainer you show great skills. Trčs fantastique! We shall combat one day or maybe my daughter."

    "Your daughter?"

    "Oui! Oui! Mon petit fille avec cheveux bleus. Dances like a bellossom and whips like a venusaur."

    "Well I hope to grow stronger so that I can enter the Pokemon World Tournament," Maya told Fantina.

    "Well you have a long road ahead. You will get strong, very strong. The road is diffilcult, but it will be worth it. Pokemon battles are always fun: win or lose. Good luck."

    Fantina left in the opposite direction to where Maya was going. Maya felt that her confidence had been boosted. It was awesome to know that Fantina was just as nice in real life as she was in the games. She couldn't wait to battle her or her daughter in Hearthome City. Maya called both her pokemon back in their balls so they could have a good rest. She planned to get her pokemon fully healed in the pokemon centre in Jubilife City.

    Just as she reached the end of Route 202, she found a heal ball and a goomy playing with it. Before she stepped closer, Maya looked at her surroundings to see if there any trainer about, and there was none. She tiptoed through the grass to ensure that she didn't disturb any of the wild pokemon. As she got closer, the goomy was rolling around the grass with the ball.

    "Hey Goomy," Maya whispered as soon as she got close. The slimy pokemon pushed itself away from the ball. At first Maya was nervous, she knew that goomys were scarce in Sinnoh and orginated from Kalos, but that wasn't why she was nervous. Even though it was a first stage pokemon, it could still be a very powerful pokemon in a Little Cup Tournament. With it's small black eyes it peered up to Maya. It turned it's face to it's side, grinned and cried out and bounced onto Maya's chest. Maya wanted to slap herself silly, how on earth could she have been afraid of a pokemon so cute, cuddly and... gooey.

    Maya was shocked to find a goomy in the route. And even more strange that it was holding a heal ball. This pokemon must have belonged to somebody. As much as Maya wanted to keep the goomy, she knew it was the right thing to try and find it's original trainer. "Goomy," Maya asked. "Do you know where your trainer is?"

    The pokemon shook it's head.

    "Well, I'm going to put you in this ball, take you to the pokemon centre and track your trainer down."

    Goomy nodded and gave Maya a kiss. Her chest and face was covered by cold slime, but it was worth it. Maya tapped Goomy on the head with the heal ball and the pokemon was quickly settled. She held onto the ball with her hand as she dashed to Jubilife Pokemon centre as fast she could. She had no time to admire the beautiful state of the art buildings, the huge Global Trade Station and Sinnoh TV station.

    As soon as she walked into the pokemon centre, Nurse Joy caught their attention.

    "Good afternoon," Nurse Joy said at the counter. "Please come in. Are you okay?" Her voice was filled with worry but her face was still plastered with a smile. "You look like you've been kissed by a goomy."

    "It's funny you say that, because it's actually true," Maya responded. "I found a goomy outside Route 201 with a heal ball. I think it's trainer must have dropped it by mistake. So I thought... maybe bring it here and track down it's trainer."

    "Our healing machine can track the pokemon's details," Nurse Joy responded. "If you give me Goomy, I can do it in under a minute. Would you like me to heal your other pokemon too?"

    "Yes please."

    "This will only take a few seconds."

    "I'm counting," Maya said as she gave Nurse Joy her pokemon and Goomy. Maya counted five seconds, then she heard that sweet jingle that reminded her of her childhood of playing the games. She knew what Nurse Joy was going to say next.

    "Thank you for waiting," Nurse Joy said. "Your pokemon have been fully healed. We hope to see you again. By the way we also did a background check on goomy and congratalations! You caught a goomy."

    "I caught it?"

    "Yes, you are Goomy's trainer. Would you like to give a nickname to your newly caught goomy? It's female."

    "I think I will call her Ami!"

    "That's a wonderful nickname," Nurse Joy said. "Where did you get it from."

    "Long story, Ami is the name of one of my ancestors and she started my family clan. I do have a goodra on my team called Gumshoe in X, but it's male."

    "Good luck on your journey," Nurse Joy said. "Hope to see you again."


    ☆ Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer
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    Chapter Three: Mawile
    Maya had spent the past week training her first three pokemon: Mr Burns the chimchar; Espella the eevee and Ami the goomy. She remained in Jubilife city and the surrounding routes. Maya estimated that she had at least eleven trainers a day challenge her to battle. She had won all of her battles, but Maya felt that she was in an advantage as she was nearly twice as old as her challengers.

    Mr Burns enjoyed the complients that other trainers gave him. Espella yawned, quickly growing tired of him showing off his skills whilst Ami won the majority of her battles by doing absolutley nothing. Kicks and punches slid off Ami's slimy membrane. Ami was very affectionate and loved hugs. Espella enjoyed the hugs, but not the gooey sensation that came with them.

    Maya wasn't sure which gym to challenge first. Should she take the traditional route from the games or do them in a completely different order? Maya was at an advantage at Oreburgh's gym as fire and normal moves will fail to leave even a scratch. Her team felt missing without a mawile. It was one of her favourite pokemon.

    Once she caught a mawile, Maya would have two spots left on her team. She was then reminded of the other two pokemon she had on her game team: Bellossom and Froslass. Oddish were native in Sinnoh near the resort area. She would not be able to get there now because it was exclusive to pokemon league champions like Cynthia. She considered asking Cynthia to catch one for her. After deep consideration, she decided that it would have been lazy. It was her pokemon journey, not Cynthia's. Maya had to catch her own pokemon.

    Oddish were very common pokemon in the rest of the world, surely someone on the GTS would gladly give one. As for snorunt, Maya decided that she would catch one on her way to Snowpoint City to battle Candice, the gym leader. There was no way on earth she was going to let go of any of her pokemon that easilly. So she went to the market and bought ten pokeballs to get the Premier Ball for free. She purchased another ten to get a second one.

    "Very wise," the clerk told Maya. "Thank you and come again."

    Maya would have thought that the clerks would have been annoyed by it, but they seem to be alright. They were almost as bad as the Nurse Joys for having smiles plastered on their face. Whilst it gave Sinnoh a lovely atmosphere, she couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right. How could a region be so perfect?

    She wouldn't need as much as she would in the games because Maya wasn't trying to capture all of the pokemon. She was only trying to capture her favourites and use them to face Red. And she needed the money to travel to places. She knew that one day her efforts would pay off. Through there was something that puzzled Maya as she made her way to Canalave City to reach the ferry to Iron Island.

    Mawile helped her a lot in the games, and Maya was sure that she would be just as useful in real life. Even though Mawile was once overlooked, mawile was cute, but powerful at the same time. Then again, the same could be said about any other pokemon. But Mawile was a special pokemon for Maya, that was why she wanted one so much.

    She was amazed at how mawiles could turn into a simple pokemon into a fierce battler once it mega-evolved. If she ever had the chance to find mega-stones and a mega-ring, then she would certainly use it at every opportunity. Mega-mawile was a majestic beauty. It was no wonder it was known as the deceiver pokemon, it was once considered weak to many trainers until they gazed eyes upon it's mega-evolution.

    All she could think about was owning a mawile for the first time. While she was on the ferry, Ami bounced out of her ball to give Maya a hug.

    "Hi Ami," Maya said. "Ami, since you're here do you want to help me find a pokemon for me?" Ami nodded her head. Maya smiled as she got her 3ds out of her pocket. "We'll have to wait for it to load, but we're going to catch a mawile."

    Ami jumped. Then when Maya presented Goomy with X's pokedex entry for Mawile, she bounced her head. towards Maya. As soon as the ferry arrived at Iron Island, Maya was the first to leave the boat. With Ami in her arms, she was determined to catch a mawile. Her sleeves may have been ruined, but it didn't bother her anymore.

    Maya and Ami went deep into the cave. They continued to walk until Ami began to slide down Maya's dress and walk onto the floor. There was something popping out near the rock. It seemed to be a black item shaped as a leaf with a yellow round shape near the top. Ami climbed ontop of it and tried talking to it. Seeing the rock split startled Maya, especially when she saw the sharp white teeth. The fear soon dissolved into joy as a yellow body popped out behind the rock with Ami still holding on to it's other jaw. It was a mawile.

    The mawile was pleased to see Ami as they both began to playright on the floor.

    "Ami, do you know this mawile?" Maya asked.

    Both pokemon nodded.

    Maya sat down on the rock and patted both pokemon. "Ami, ask if she wants to come with me. So that you two can stay together forever."

    Mawile quickly nodded. Maya put both pokemon in balls. Maya couldn't believe how fortunate she was. Ami was already a friend of the mawile. Maya decided that she would nickname the mawile, Xion after her favourite character from Kingdom Hearts. The journey back was not so pleasant. Geodudes kept on following Maya and she had to rely on her pokemon to make them faint so she could leave saftely. For every geodude she made faint, there five more waiting to battle Maya. Whilst it was good training for her pokemon, she really didn't to spend anymore time in the cave.

    Maya tripped over two of the geodudes and accidently caught them both using the pokeballs. Maya wanted to scream. She didn't want to waste any of those balls because they were reserved for her oddish and snorunt. Then she decoded as soon as she got out, she would use the GTS to trade one geodude for an oddish and the other, she would keep wondertrading until she got a snorunt.

    Maya was delighted. She couldn't wait to interact with her pokemon in the pokemon centre before a good night's sleep.


    ☆ Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer
    Carry On, BlisseyThe Other King☆
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  7. #7
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    Chapter Four: Franziska's Daughter

    While she was waiting for her oddish from the GTS. Maya made her debut at the pokemon league. She was put to the test by steel-type expert, Byron. Maya earned the Mine Badge with a lot of effort. She was also given a mawilite for Mawile for mega-evolve when she received a mega-ring. As suggested, Maya went to Oreburgh City to challenge his son, Roark.

    Before Maya challenged the gym, she received a female oddish from the GTS. Maya could burst into tears. The oddish was a very bright green and her skin sparkled. Since the oddish was traded, Maya was unable to change its nickname. "Oh Princess," Maya called. "I can't believe I got a shiny oddish from the GTS. I'm going to take good care of you, Princess."

    It was a promise Maya vowed to keep.

    Princess was very useful in the battle against Roark's gym. Mr Burns worked very hard in Eterna City Gym and evolved into a monferno after battling. Fantina and her daughter were nowhere to be found in Hearthome City, so Maya and her team continued to carry on. Her snorunt from the GTS finally arrived, and was called Burger Queen. It was a silly nickname by anyone's standards, but for Maya she quite liked it. Now that her team was complete, she could continue on battling any challenger or gym leader she found. She would leave Fantina and her daughter till last.

    Maya challenged Pastoria City's gym leader, Crasher Wake and his water-type team. Once again with the help of her team, she won handily. Maya was very disappointed with Maylene as her gym was very easy and she posed little to no threat. Volker's battle was one of Maya's favourite gym battles. It was a very long match and it could have been anyone's round. Four of her pokemon had evolved during the battle. Princess evolve into gloom, Ami evolve into sligoo and Mr Burns into an infernape, whilst Espella evolve into an espeon.

    All she needed to complete her team was a dawn stone for Burger Queen and a sun stone for Princess. Ami was unable to evolve until there was rain caused by Mother Nature. Rain set up by drizzle and rain danccee wouldn't have been enough. On her way to Snowpoint City, Maya was fortunate enough to find both evolution stones on the floor. She evolved Burger Queen and Princess into Froslass and Bellossom.

    Maya enjoyed Candice's battle. It was another challenging battle. It wasn't as fun as the battle with Volkner, but Maya still enjoyed herself. She had learned a lot from Candice who advised her not to rush so much and give her pokemon time. Maya had seven badges and was only one away from victory road and the elite four.

    By the time Maya had returned to Hearthome city, Ami had finally evolved into the cute and gooey dragon, Goodra. Maya felt as if she had achieved something. She had turned her dream team in a video game into reality. Her team was finally complete and their movesets had finally been perfected. She was ready for Fantina's gym.

    Maya's stomach began to rumble. She knew it was time for her to get some food. Maya went into a buffet and inside the sophisticated restaurant with tables and choices galore, she saw her friend, Phoenix Wright with his daughter and employees from his joined their table and she gave Phoenix the shock of his life.

    "Hey Nick!" Maya said.

    "Maya!" Phoenix was astonished. "What a nice surprise. Please have a sit down."

    "Hi Maya!" Trucy and Athena said in unison.

    Apollo remained very polite. "Good evening Miss Fey."

    "So how are you?" Phoenix asked. "It's been a while."

    "I've been fine," Maya replied. "Just been doing some training. And I got hungry."

    "Training?" Trucy asked. "What kind of training."

    "Training her pokemon team of course," Athena said. "Why else would she be here?"

    "Pokemon?" Trucy jumped on her seat. "Can I see your team please?"

    "Sure." Maya took all of her pokemon out at once. All six of the pokemon stood together like a close band of siblings.

    "That vaporeon's a funny colour," Phoenix said as he patted Espella's head.

    "Mr. Wright," Apollo said. "That's an espeon."

    "This gengar is amazing," Phoenix announced in astonishment.

    Trucy squashed her palm against her forehead and sighed. "No Daddy," she cried out. "That's froslass. One of snorunt's evolved forms."

    "Nice," Athena said. "Shiny bellossom."

    "So are you entering the pokemon league?" Apollo asked Maya.

    "Yeah," Maya replied. "I've got seven badges so far. Then I just need to battle Fantina and then I can go to Victory Road."

    "That's awesome," Athena said with a smile on her face. "Though I heard that Fantina is away."

    "She said that," Maya responded. "She said that her daughter will come and cover for her for when she's away."

    "I heard Fantina's daughter likes to whip her opponents into shape!" Phoenix muttered. "Let's just say she's a tough cookie."

    After a big meal at the buffet, Maya waved goodbye to her friends and made her way to Hearthome City Gym. Just as she was about to enter the gym, she heard a couple talking about the gym.

    "Fantina's daughter came all the way from Germany to manage the gym."

    "Her daughter is very strong. Some say that she's even stronger than Fantina."

    Maya marched into the gym. What she had heard made her pumped up and excited for the battle. The evening was still young, Fantina might be in. Or maybe her daughter was there. Not knowing weather Maya will be battling Fantina or the mysterious daughter made her both nervous and excited. Although Maya didn't want to admit that she was frightened.

    When she entered the gym she saw a familiar face. A tall lady with an aqua hair, a whip in one hand and a pokeball in the other. Her name was Franziska von Karma. She was a prosecutor with a fiesty personality. It was nice to see somebody that she knew through Phoenix. She had no idea that Franziska was a pokemon trainer too.

    "Hey Franziska," Maya said.

    "Good evening, Maya Fey," Franziska hissed.

    "So have you come to challenge Fantina too?" Maya asked.

    "I'm here because Mama told me to come," Franziska replied, whipping the floor. She marched to the stadium and cracked her whip again. "I came all the way from Germany to look after this gym while Mama attends important duties."

    "Important duties?" Maya asked. Then all of a sudden it made sense. Franziska was German. Phoenix's comment about whipping. Maya couldn't believe it, but the evidence was so clear. "So you're Fantina's daughter? I should have realised it before."

    "Mama told me that I should expect the champion's cousin to arrive."

    Maya leaned her head forward and then ran to the stadium. "Do you mean Cynthia? That's my cousin!"

    "I should warn you Maya Fey," Franziska announced as she cracked her whip. "I have yet to lose a pokemon battle."

    Maya giggled. "I'm not afraid. I haven't lost either."

    "There's a first time for everything. My pokemon are nothing less than perfection. As gym leader of Hearthome City, I accept your challenge."


    ☆ Maya Fey: Ace Pokemon Trainer
    Carry On, BlisseyThe Other King☆
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  8. #8
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    I have to say, you've incorporated the Ace Attorney cast into this very well. Franziska being Fantina's daughter is an interesting twist and one I'm fine with (although I remember Fantina being French), though I'm not sure how to feel about her being a Gym Leader, considering how much she loves prosecuting. This one could go either way depending on you handle it. The characters are decently handled, while you could inject a bit more character into them, they are believably themselves.

    The pacing's pretty off, though. We're four chapters in and already Maya has a complete team (which is nearly fully evolved) and all but one of her badges. For me, a lot of the draw of this was to see what one of my favourite characters from another universe would do as a Pokemon trainer, and not a lot of that is really happening. Honestly, a chapter per Gym Battle probably would've been better. It would have given more time for some action scenes through the battles, as well as character development for both Maya and her Pokemon team.

    Personally, I think your description could be a little better. It's good as a summary, but I think at times you need to go more indepth to keep the story interesting. For instance, rather than just saying 'Maya accidentally caught two Geodudes' you could describe her tripping over, the Poke Balls flying through the air, catching the Geodudes and snapping shut, and then Maya's reaction. I personally think this could be more memorable.

    I think while the straightforward plot of a journey story is fine in this instance (since the novelty comes from the crossover), it could do with a bit of spicing up. You have this with Franziska, which is pretty interesting. However, I feel like the way Maya's team is set up is a bit dull. Her entire team is listed to us in the very first chapter, and the way she gets her team feels pretty convenient - it doesn't feel like she needs to go through a lot of effort to find her dream team, she just comes across most of them. The plot line with the Geodudes suggested some kind of deviation could be possible, but then she just trades for the Pokemon she wants anyway (and manages to receive a very rare shiny in the process), and the growth from there (both in terms of evolution and personality) is glanced over. It just feels rushed to me.

    Overall, as I said before, this is an interesting concept for a story and I think you're really good at handling the crossover element, and the twists you've added to it are pretty good. However, the pacing seems off, as Maya has gotten her team much too quickly and most of the Gym Battles have been shoved to the background. This story has a lot of potential, and it's starting to achieve it. I hope that it continues to improve in the future! Good luck!

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