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Thread: Felix the mutant Pikachu-The craziest in the world!

  1. #1
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    Lightbulb Felix the mutant Pikachu-The craziest in the world!

    Hi. This is my first fan fic. I've been storing each story in my head for the last few years so it's kinda long. The prologue was made through weeks of nights before falling asleep of contemplation. Any clash with other's stories is entirely coincidental. Hope you enjoy it. Please rate it!

    -Prologue-
    The green Dragon stared at his most favoured subordinate. He had been betrayed. And he was getting retribution. "He hath known the day would cometh, and knew, someday, his death wath nigh..." The rather familiar looking figure stared as remorsely back. For the last 10 years of his little 50 years of his life, he had tolerated. Endured. But he could take no more. He had enough of his master's treachery. And he alone had to oppotunity to have ended it earlier but no, he let it happen, let his heart be broken, he had had it. He charged up and unleashed his ultimate attack...

    "GIGA EXPLOSION!"

    A blinding flash, and the world was gone...well, almost.

    -Prologue 2-
    A young girl made her way around the Forest, dressed in a plain white shirt and black long pants. She had been here once before, with a famous Viridian trainer. She had taught her how to use a pokemon. Now, she didn't have the trainer to help her if something happened. But she was confident that the pokemon were cute and harmless.
    She would find out the truth today.
    As she sauntered uneasily around, she was aware that the place was dark. Very dark. She had even brushed the brown hair out of her eyes just to be sure. Just then, she saw something flash somewhere. She distinctly heard a "Chuuuuuuuuu!" sound. She headed towards the sound, happy to see the most famous and the cutest pokemon in the forest (in her opinion). She absentmindedly brushed away the leaves as she headed towards the light. She didn't bother when her hand brushed against something hard and came away sticky from something. She burst into a clearing and saw...
    A Pikachu!
    She rushed towards it and hugged it. Just as the Pikachu was about to zap her in defense, it suddenly changed its mind and stood still. She picked the little pikachu up and kissed it. It squirmed and thrashed but she held it still as she headed towards the exit (She knew where it was because the nice trainer had given her a map of the forest and forgot to take it back), talking to it all the while. Just then she heard a buzzing sound. She dropped "dear little pika"(that was what she called it while she was talking to it) and looked around, brown ponytail slapping her back as she did so. Her blue eyes widened. She saw a swarm of Beedrill fly towards her. The Pikachu felt a strong desire to protect the girl and zapped every Beedrill it saw.
    It wasn't enough.
    Both girl and Pikachu were stung again and again... till all went black.

    The girl found herself in a hospital bed, hurting all over, with her mother at the side, sleeping in a chair. Somehow, the woman sensed the girl's awakening and awoke. She gently reprimanded her daughter, but she knew her chiding was just the calm before the storm...
    The girl's father burst in.
    The girl had never seen her dad so angry before.
    He looked like he would burst every blood vessel in his body in a minute.
    "How could you wander into the forest without anybody!? Do you know you could have gotten killed!"He raged.
    The lecture went on. The volume of his voice ascended every minute.
    Then it got violent and hysterical and loud.
    The girl screamed.
    The mother screamed and pleaded with her husband.
    The man was yelling.
    The ordeal ended when the nurses and the doctors dragged Ruby out of the room to avoid further disturbance to the patients and mental harm to the girl and the mother. The latter collapsed into a chair and sobbed into her hands. The former hid behind a curtain and cried. She hurt badly. Both physically and mentally. But she was determined to visit "dear little pika" everyday, even if she was beaten up everyday. she would do it persevere...
    And in his words,"PROVE TO ME YOU CAN HANDLE A POKEMON!!!"

    -A few months later-

    The family was leaving Kanto. She had said goodbye to everyone. She had also said goodbye to the nice young woman who had introduced her to Pokemon. But she was still worried. Worried about "dear little pika". She had given him a memento. It was a round pendant. she had broken half of it and given it to "dear little pika" and asked him to keep it safely so that...
    "When we see each other again... we'll use this to find each other...okay?"
    "dear little pika" had nodded.
    "I'll come back for you, someday!"
    As girl and pokemon waved good bye, the girl cried. She knew that they would not meet again...

    Little did she know she was wrong. They would meet again. And the Pikachu. It did not know of its true potential. But it would be revealed to it...one day. And thus will the world know of the legend of...

    Felix the mutant Pikachu!

    Also the craziest one of them all.
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 21st June 2005 at 6:20 AM. Reason: Edit to story

  2. #2
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    Ever hear of primer language? It's a way of writing in short, choppy sentences that gets straight to the point and helps readers understand facts much more quickly. While alright in the prolouge, I believe that you did not intend to write in it for the first chapter. Take this for example:
    A young girl made her way around the Forest. She had been here once before, with a famous Viridian trainer. She had taught her how to use a pokemon. Now, she didn't have the trainer to help her if something happened. But she was confident that the pokemon were cute and harmless.
    Very choppy and . . . well, blah sounding IMO.

    A young girl made her way around the Forest. She had been here once before, with a famous Viridian trainer who had taught her how to use a pokemon. Now, she didn't have the trainer to help her if something happened, but she was confident that the pokemon were cute and harmless.

    Still a choppy first sentence, but you can still combine some sentences with punctuation (commas, semi-colons, etc.). Try not to have just an independant clause (sentences with just a predicate and subject) for sentences like that first sentence. Something like:

    A young girl made her way around the forest, eyes cast toward the dirt ground scattered with broken pieces of dry leaves.

    You know lol. Perhaps less crappy than that pathetic example I just wrote. By the way, "forest" in that sentence doesn't need to be capitalized since you didn't state what specific forest we were in just yet.

    Animals usually run away when something they do not know of comes their way, like wild bunnies and humans. I figure that if something like a Pikachu saw a human, it would either run or fight back and not just stand there. o0 The fact that the girl kinda ran up and smuggled it in love was rather . . . interesting too. o.0 lol.

    Now the hospital scene I liked. I liked how you worded it. I think the short sentences really did have some effect. Short and quick, kind of like what I believed to be Ruby's anger managment level. I also like Rinoa's nickname for the Pikachu. "Dear little pika" heh. It's kinda sweet. The pendant thing was nice as well; reminds me of that one Pokémon episode with Jessie and the Blissey. ^_^

    Your word choice though, like "reprimanded", doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the story. You write in a somewhat simplistic vocabulary (which is always nice since everyone can understand it and I don't need dictionary.com up lol), so using words like that and "ascended" is rather awkward sounding. Of course, this is just my opinion; you can use all the five-dollar words you wanna. Do not depend on a thesaurus though for you can end up saying something like:

    "The veracious mortal perambulated toward his backer and uttered that he was dregs."

    Which means:

    "The truthful man walked toward his friend and said that he was scum."

    See, what sounds better lol? Of course, I was overexaggerating, but you get my point right?

    It's an interesting start. I wonder how exactly this mutant Pikachu is coming to be and how it got one hell of a random name, Felix. o.0 Lol, 'tis cool though. It sounds like an insanity fics really. I suppose the "craziest Pikachu" got to me.

    Not half bad. I'd defintely give this fic a chance.

    LaTeR dAyZ!

  3. #3
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    I liked this beginning a lot, and I agree with Breezy. Also could you give the characters names? That would make the going smoother and easier to read.

    ~Skipper~
    Twins with the wonderful Muddy Mudkip!!!


    4 8 15 16 23 42 = 108
    I believe...

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    Lightbulb Chapter 1 is out!

    Whee!This is the first chapter. Please tolerate the violence. Please have a sense of humour. Enjoy!

    Chapter 1
    -The Beginning-
    A lone figure walked down the dark streets of Goldenrod. She knew how angry her father would be when she got home. She was soaked in insect repellent after her bug-catching contest. But she didn't catch a single Caterpie. In fact, everybody would keel over the minute she actually caught something.

    Because she had no Pokemon.

    She felt the bitter taste of defeat in her throat. Her black fringe hid her blood red eyes, which showed disappointment and bitterness. She gripped her plain white shirt tightly. She had been so sure that her Pokedolls would help her catch even one Caterpie. But now, all her efforts were in vain. But it was a bit funny. Who in their right minds would enter the competition without a Pokemon? Rinoa felt tears well up in her eyes. All her pocket money had been spent on Pokedolls and... She felt horrible. Today was the last time she would enter the competition anyway... Tomorrow they were moving to Hoenn anyway. She had hardly handled Pokemon, except when she was 4, when a nice trainer called Yellow had taught how to use Pokemon. She had befriended a Pikachu. Why it hadn't run away when it saw her she had no idea. Yellow had told her it might be because she was born in Viridian. She had no idea what that meant. As she passed by a window, she heard a radio blare a song:

    I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore...
    If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before.

    She stopped to listen.
    But I have a talent, a wonderful thing,
    Cuz everyone listens when I start to...
    Bzaat!Zap!Crackle!

    She heard the owner turn it off and curse horribly in words not fit for kiddies' eyes and ears. She walked on and thought. Was she a normal person? She was. What talent did she have? None. Tears began to well up in her eyes but she wiped them away. She was normal. Normal... She began to recall memories. Memories that made her happy.
    Just as she was thinking about "Dear little Pika"...Her face bashed into the door and she nearly broke her nose. She gave a little cry of pain (example: Ouch!) but it was minor in contrast to what happened next.

    She was standing in front of the front door of her house.

    She didn't call it home. It was no home. It wasn't even fit to be called a home to Rinoa. Would you call a place home when you return everyday with a beating in store or when your father gives you a frown all day, like you owe him something, looking as if he is itching to give you a beating? Perhaps not.

    The door flung open.

    Ruby stood framed in the doorway. Rinoa had never seen him so angry before except the time when she walked into the forest and nearly died of poison stings from Beedrill. She had disrupted a nest of them by accidentally touching the nest as she had headed towards "dear little pika" when she met it for the first time.

    "Hi Dad," Rinoa said.

    He didn't say anything. He just grasped her by the collar and threw her bodily into the house. He shut the door so hard the door flew off the hinges, broke through the wood frame and flew out into the street, where it was smashed by a car. Rinoa was used to it already. She knew what would happen next. She would find herself in a hospital bed for the next few days with an horrible back injury (in the doctor's opinion, but to her it was normal). As she got to her feet Ruby lashed out at her with his foot, kicking her sideways into the next room, where she skidded violently across the smooth marble floor and
    hit the wall. Her mother could only watch as her daughter was tortured. Many people had remarked that Rinoa looked exactly like her, but was slightly alike with her father in temperament. Rinoa heard a poof in the next room and the ground trembled as whatever it was walked into the room. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she thought of what Pokemon would her father unleash on her this time.

    Her grandpa's Slaking walked in, disregarding the destruction it was causing in the house. Its head had hit the top of the doorway and effectively turned it into dust when it fell and was stepped on. The marble cracked where it stepped. Her father followed behind.

    "Why did you go for the competition?" Ruby said in a barely controlled voice.

    "I wanted a Pokemon," Rinoa answered defiantly.

    Suddenly she found herself at another wall and her back hurting horribly. She could guess what had taken place. She got to her feet. He withdrew Slaking.

    "Why do you keep wanting to have pokemon?" he said threateningly.

    "Why won't you give me a Pokemon!?" she shouted back at him.

    Ruby grasped Rinoa's collar and threw her against the first wall. It gave way and she found herself sprawling outside, head throbbing and back hurting so much she wanted to scream. But she didn't. She would not give him the satsifaction of making her scream.
    Ruby walked out of the hole, ducking a little so that his head would not hit the top of the hole. He was clutching a piece of fabric. Rinoa looked at her shirt and realised her father had torn a small piece of fabric from her shirt. She staggered to her feet.

    "WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND POKEMON ARE DANGEROUS!" he roared. "IF I GIVE YOU A POKEMON YOU'LL USE IT TO BATTLE! WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO TAKE PART IN SOMETHING LESS DANGEROUS! LIKE CONTESTS-"

    "Why can't I take part in battles!? Pokemon battles aren't dangerous! There are Pokemon there are cute, like Pikachu-"

    "DON'T YOU TALK BACK, YOU LITTLE-"

    "Stop it!Both of you!"

    Both father and daughter looked around. Standing a distance away was Rinoa's mother. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

    "Why do you always have to fight everytime? I never see you two smile at each other at all. Everyday both of you return home without a smile on your faces...like sworn enemies. Can't you two make peace with each other? It hurts for me to see the gap between you two widening...and it always looks like I'm the only bridge between you two. Can't you ever sit down and discuss? I wish...that one day the two of you could get along..."
    Ruby turned on his heels. Suddenly there was a loud thud. Ruby turned around once again and rushed forward...

    -----

    In bed...

    "Ruby, tomorrow we're moving to Hoenn... and it's Rinoa's tenth birthday... Have you thought of what to give her?"Rinoa's mother said.

    "I'll give her the best present ever, in her opinion. I just wonder if I can arrange it on the plane. I'll let her see how hard it is to survive outside. God knows how many more of those lame evil organisations are there. Tons of people die when they go on some lame scheme, like Team Aqua & Magma 20 years ago. How is she anyway?"Ruby asked.

    "Fast asleep. She's hurt badly. Do you always have to give her such a violent beating?"

    "...We should get some sleep. We're setting off early tomorrow. And--"he whispered the rest to her.Then he went to sleep

    She sighed. As her mind drifted off to sleep she wondered what had come over her husband.

    ---

    The next afternoon...

    The truck ran over a hump in the road so hard the truck literally bounced on its axles. Rinoa winced as she jolted forward and then backward, causing her to feel a great deal of pain at her back. She hadn't recovered from her beating yesterday. She said to her mother,"Mum, don't drive so violently. You're killing me. I bet the truck bounced at least a centimeter of the road."

    "Don't complain. We'll be there soon. Relax."

    "...How do I relax at the back of a truck with a horrible driver and my injured back resting on metal? It hurts you know."

    "...Sometimes I wish you were more like me in temperament," her mother said as she absentmindedly drove over another hump at high speed.

    Rinoa howled. The pain was getting unbearable.

    "Is it really that bad?" her mother asked.

    "You bet it is! Try being me."

    "Alright. We're there now. I'll let you out now,"the woman said.

    "Is there anything actually interesting around here?"Rinoa asked.

    "Well, you might like to visit a certain professor that researches Pokemon. He's our next door neighbour.

    Her eyes lit up. She wanted to see what Pokemon the professor had. As soon as the door opened, she hopped out and attempted to make a beeline for the professor's house but was thwarted by her mother.

    "Not now. We need to unpack and anyway his family and nephew is coming over later. Besides you might disturb any research going on in his lab and cause him trouble, so you're staying at home till they come," her mother said.

    "Sheesh," she said, and followed her mother into the house to unpack all the things.

    Later...

    "Whew! Pokemon are so useful. If it weren't for them we would still be unpacking. Right, Rinoa?"

    "Yep! Hmm... YOW! Where're my enclyclopedias?"Rinoa shrieked, leaping out of the chair, yell in pain and sit down again.

    "I unpacked them,"her mother replied, putting particular emphasis on the word unpacked.

    The room was silent for a while. Then...

    "Mum, can I have a Pokemon?"Rinoa asked.

    Her mother replied,"I don't think so. You see, your dad thinks that you can't handle anything out there--"

    "What? Just because I couldn't handle I bunch of Beedrill?But that was ages ago!"Rinoa said, cutting her mother off, feeling anger boil inside her, and leaping out of the chair, ignoring the pain."I'm ten! Everyone who's ten except me has a Pokemon. Even the biggest sissy in the world has a stupid, lousy, idiotic Clefairy! So why can't I have a Pokemon. It's not
    fair--"

    "Oh that's only what he thinks," said her mother. "Don't be so muddle headed! Go prove to him you can have a Pokemon! All you need to do is to walk up to him and argue your way into a battle! Simple as that! Now... why don't you go read your enclyclopedias."
    Rinoa meekly obeyed and went to her bedroom. When she lay in bed reading her enclyclopedias she realised that her back wasn't hurting anymore. Then she started yelling in response to the pain she felt before she went up to her room.

    That night...

    Professor Birch sweated. Ruby's daughter was asking a lot of questions he didn't know the answer to.

    It was dinnertime at Ruby and his family's new house. The smell was fragrant, the food was delicious, the ambience was great but Professor Birch was busy deflecting a barrage of questions.

    Suddenly she asked,"Would it be technically possible for humans and Pokemon(not counting Porygon and Porygon 2) to enter cyberspace physically?" He just said, "Yes, if there is a portal of sorts linking to there. Then finally she stopped her barrage and talked with his nephew instead. He breathed a sigh of relief.
    Through her short conversation with the professor, Rinoa could tell all he knew about was Pokemon. If she asked him some sort of question related to Pokemon that even the Science teachers couldn't answer he would answer within a second with confidence. Any other sort of genre and she could hear the lack of confidence in his voice even though he answered just as quickly. Basically, she concluded, he was just a Pokemaniac. It was easy for her to tell what sort of personality a person had. As easily as Pokemon. Over years of luring and attempting to catch more docile Pokemon, she had learnt how to tell a person's or a Pokemon's nature.

    She found Brandan more interesting.

    He constantly helped his uncle with his fieldwork and thus... He had pokemon powerful enough to blow gym leaders to kingdom come. But he gave them to his uncle for research(How stupid he is, hmm? Tossing away a Dragonite for research?). They talked about a lot of things. He was interesting yes, but he was a bit too loyal for his own good.(In her opinion, that is.)They finished their conversation just as he needed to go to the toilet.

    And then she turned and looked at her father.

    "Dad, I want to battle you later," she said.

    "Later, yes, later..."Ruby said absentmindedly.

    Rinoa smirked as she turned away. So did Ruby. He was looking forward to it...

    "Argh!" Ruby spilled soup all over himself. Everybody was laughing. He joined in. As she watched him laugh, Rinoa wondered...

    Later...

    Professor Birch and his family had left the house. Ruby glanced into the kitchen where his wife was washing dishes. Then he stiffened his resolve and walked upstairs. He knocked on the door to Rinoa's room and left a few dents on the door.

    "Yeah?" He heard his daughter's voice utter the single word in reply to the knock.

    He opened the door, shut it and looked at his daughter. She looked surprised.

    "What do you want, dad?"she broke the silence.

    "It's regarding your birthday present. I've decided to let you go do what you want to do."

    She stared at him, mouth open.

    "However,"he turned his back on her,"if you want to do so, you must grasp basics,"He put a paticular emphasis on the word basics,"not mere theories, therefore we are going outdoors to conduct a little lesson. So follow me."He left the room.
    Suddenly Rinoa's back didn't hurt anymore.

    It was chilly. But she was about to start her first Pokemon battle. She felt her back hurt and goosebumps rise up all over her skin. She threw the Pokeball in her hand. So did her father.

    Two Charizard faced each other.

    "Flamethrower!"ordered Rinoa. She had a grin on her face.

    "There's a blind spot in your attack! Move to get a better view like this!"He waited for the attack to stop before giving a command and showing an example of moving to eliminate blind spots.

    "Flamethrower!"He ordered, running to the side.

    "You're not going to get me! Dragon rage!"

    "Oh no!"

    "Gotcha!"

    As she watched, Rinoa's mother smiled. It was the first time she had seen them have fun together. They're both the same, she thought. They both forgive and forget easily...

    Leader of the Band lyrics (edited)
    By Dan Fogelburg(But I edited it!)
    The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old...
    But his blood runs through my pokeball
    And his words are in my soul.
    My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man
    I'm just a living legacy of the leader of the band.

    Later...

    Both father and daughter were exhausted. Both were still feeling a adrenaline rush.

    "I hope now you know how to battle,"said Ruby.

    "Yes!"Rinoa gasped.

    "Tomorrow I'm going to assume my duties as gym leader. You rest till your back recovers. And then you'll go to Kanto to start your journey. I don't know what you want to be, but you had better come back and beat me!"

    "Okay!"she gasped again.

    "Now you better go get some rest. It's very late."

    "Good night dad."she gasped one more time

    "You go sleep well for god's sake! Better enjoy your bed while you still can!"

    "Yeah, I know..."she gasped yet again.

    A few days later...


    The plane interior was cold. Insanely cold. Rinoa thought that she should have worn something thicker to the airport but it
    was too late to do anything about it except grin and bear it. The plane was taxiing anyway.
    She thought of her mother at
    home and knew that she would be lonely. Then she thought about "dear little pika". She hoped she could see it again. She
    tightened her grip on the black box she had been holding in her hand all along. Then she opened it. Inside was a broken
    pendant. The broken piece was nowhere to be found. She knew it was with "dear little pika". She wanted to find that piece
    and "dear little pika". She was going to find out where it was, no matter what the cost...

    She would. And the price would not be high.

    Song lyrics(Forgot what song it was)
    [I]Memories
    Like the corners of my mind
    Misty watercoloured memories,
    Of the way we were...
    Shattered pictures, like the smiles we left behind.
    Smiles we gave to one another,
    Of the way we were...

    References(Unstated):
    “Thank you for the music” by ABBA
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 13th January 2006 at 7:43 AM. Reason: Story edit
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

  5. #5
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    Nice. Really good, except I kinda wanted to see part of the story from "little pika" to see how it was doing. This is getting to be quite an interesting story. Keep up the good work.

  6. #6
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    Thanks Shiny_Deoxys! Since you extended the goodwill to me I shall return it! *Runs off to read Siny_Deoxys' fic*
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 2nd July 2005 at 7:09 PM. Reason: Someone delete post that I replying to so change to reply to post before it now
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

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    Aye aye Cap'n! I'm finally done! Woohoo! I read people's fanfics so much that I forgot to write my own(namely Shiny deoxys and ryman...). Anyway read and comment!

    Here comes the main Pokemon! Humour time! I am trying to be deliberately lame here(Lame, geddit!? Mwahaha!). Minor swearing warning! Look carefully and you might find some links to some later events that will be revealed in later chapters. In which chapters that have these links I will not mention, but look carefully(Hint hint. This chapter is the first one). There are two types of censors. ***** type is for vulgar language that is censored in most countries and ^^^^^ type is usually accepted but still undesirable for young children so that why I censor it so that little kids reading don't pick it up and use it and I get blamed. Whee!

    Chapter 2
    -The craziest Pikachu on earth-

    After arriving in Pallet Town two days after she set off from Littleroot airport, which is covered in blotches of paint(pallette! Geddit!?), Rinoa made a beeline for the lab. As she dashed in... she skided on the wet floor and comically flailed in the air and ended up in a heap.

    "Whoops! So you're the new trainer! You're early. I expected you at 10. It's now 9. I thought I would clean the place before you came. Hehe!"Professor Green Oak said.

    "Whee... It's sooooooo fun falling down,"Rinoa said, voice gushing with as much sarcasm as the amount of water that falls off Niagara Falls in 24 hours and getting off the floor. Blue resisted the temptation to yell about the human shaped imprint Rinoa left on the wet floor and winced visibly with each step she took, which left black footprints all over the floor.

    "So you want a Pokemon?"Green said, controlling his tone carefully. He took the time to study the girl. She was not tall, yet not short. She was not thin, but not fat either. A bandanna was tied on her head. He bet she might be mistaken for a pirate if the bandanna completely covered her black fringe. He mused that she might be asked to play pirate with the kids if it did. Her hair was cropped short at the back. Her eyes glowed with such radience that if the sun ceased to exist you could yank her eye out and make do with it. She was just entering puberty. He could see that she was excited. She was wearing a shirt and bike shorts, as well as white gloves tipped with black. Her shoes were one of the new running shoes made by Devon. Ruby had stretched his connections just to get a pair. She was treading carefully so as not to slip. Finished with his observation and just reaching the door he wanted to go through, he turned left and walked into the door. Biting his tougue before he could curse(there's a kid around!), he opened the door and walked in, careful not to damage anymore of his dignity as he ambled in. Rinoa followed.
    "There's only one Pokemon here that's left. All the other trainers picked the others. I had to prepare for the last minute. There's only one left in. I gotta warn you, it's one troublemaker. Going through my books, wrecking my library... Oh it's the very definition of trouble all right. That *******..."

    As Green babbled on about the irritating pokemon while looking for the pokemon's pokeball("It likes to jump in and out of its pokeball as it pleases. Nothing I can do about it,"Green had mentioned), Rinoa muttered under her breath,"I never liked libraries anyway. Let's see if I can take out his library before I leave with my pokemon."

    Suddenly Green said,"Well, I've found its pokeball. It should be inside. I threatened to not let any trainer have a chance to pick him again if he dares run off. It's the biggest woogieman I have over him. I use it rarely. Let's see..." He walked over to a machine with the pokeball in hand. It looked like a plastic cage. Rinoa s******ed. What would the professor do to the pokemon? "I want to prevent him from going nuts, so I'm putting him in this machine so that he can't raise hell while I introduce you to him." Rinoa smirked.

    "The last time he did that he turned this building into smoke. Let my Charizard loose and taunted him into Hyper Beaming the building. At least that's what I think," he put a emphasis on "think", "happened. I was coming back from buying groceries when I saw him on the ground, my Charizard in the sky and charging a Hyper beam. ^^^^^^^ that idiot!" Rinoa was close to bursting out with laughter, but she held it back. He placed the pokeball in a slot slightly underneath the center of the cage and pressed a button as Rinoa looked on eagerly, forgetting about laughing. The pokeball seemed to take a google years to reach the base of the cage in the glass. "So far so good," Green muttered, training his eyes on the ball. Rinoa stifled the desire to reply, "I heard that." Green hit another button.

    The pokeball opened...

    The plastic shattered.

    Instantly a box appeared. It sat there, unmoving. There was a crank in the side. And obviously it was too big for the cage or the glass wouldn't have shattered.

    "That's my pokemon?"Rinoa thought, surprised.

    "I told it not to leave the pokeball but it doesn't listen! Ah well, I get him when he comes back. We'll go catch another pokemon. Let's see what he left in the box," Green said.

    Rinoa felt like punching that pokemon in the face. She had been looking forwand to burning the professor's library down.

    Just then...

    "AIIIYEEEEEEEEE!******* bug! Yah! Ah! NOOOO! DON'T TOUCH MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Green then screamed like a sissy as a really cute butterfree doll chased Green around the room, occasionally touching him. Rinoa slipped and fell on the wet floor, landing on her butt, then she started rolling on the floor, laughing all the while, tears streaming out of her eyes. The source of the commotion came from the hook in the doll attached to a string attached to a rod held by two yellow hands sticked out the box. The pokemon was twitching inside the box and the box vibrated violently. There must have been a 12.9 on the Richter scale boxquake in the box. The pokemon had enough talent to laugh uncontrollably while chasing the professor with a Butterfree on a string. He was full well demonstrating how much mayhem he could cause. It wasn't even a fraction of what he could do. Soon enough, unable to control his laughter anymore, he dropped the rod and twitched so much the box fell from the machine and the pokemon tumbled out of the box, revealing itself to be a Pikachu. It had a calendar in its hand and had tears streaming out of his eyes. It landed right next to its future trainer and rolled around in perfect synchonisation with her. The professor, recovering from shock, dragged Rinoa to her feet and kicked the Pikachu such that he banged his head into the wall. The Pikachu hopped up, leapt onto the broken machine and glared at the professor with such fury that when converted to heat could fry an egg in an instant. The professor stared back and said, "Why did you do that?" in a very calm, controlled voice. Breaking the stare, the Pikachu smirked and whipped out the calendar. He pointed at a date. 1st April. Also known as (Also known as a.k.a) April fool's day. He waited for the professor's reaction.

    He anime-fell.

    It was enough to start another round of laughter from Rinoa and the Pikachu until he got up from the ground.

    "ANYWAY," the professor yelled, trying to cover the sound of their laughter and releasing his anger from falling prey to a April fool's trick, "WE NEED TO DEAL WITH FORMALITIES NOW!" The laughter continued. "NOW!!!!", he yelled again, eyes bulging, about to lose his temper.

    The laughter stopped.

    "That's better," he said. "Anyway, Rinoa, this is your pokemon. It's ---"

    "A Pikachu. I know. Thank you very much." Rinoa said sarcastically. She was trying to stop laughing and wiping the tears from her eyes.

    "Now, you lousy ^^^^^^^ ******* pikachu, this is your new trainer. This might be your new trainer if she likes you." the professor said, clearly ignoring the fact that he had been swearing throughout the last 10 minutes with a child around. If the Pikachu had a mouth he would have said, "Of course she will. Better than you you lousy stuck up ol' losar." Rinoa could tell just by looking at his eyes. For some reason she didn't know, she could read his thoughts by concetrating on him.

    "Anyway, Rinoa, why don't you carry your pokemon. We're going to another room to register you as a trainer." He watched as the Pikachu charged electricity in its pouches. The trainer didn't seem to notice. He smirked. This time it was his turn to enjoy a joke. He turned, expecting a horrified scream to sound behind him and the Pikachu dropped on the floor. He decided not to s****** yet.

    Meanwhile...

    Rinoa picked up the Pikachu and cuddled it close to her. Just as the Pikachu was about to unleash his deadly trick on his trainer, he found his nose pressed against her skin for an instant. In that instant, he smelt her scent and was surprised to find it familiar. Mermories floated back from both recent and distant pasts for that one moment, then it was gone. Rinoa felt some long memory from some where float into her mind in that instant. Memories she didn't recall having. Before she could control herself, she murmured, "I'll call you Felix. Felix..." The Pikachu snuggled into her chest.

    Just then she heard footsteps and saw that the professor had left the room and followed. Meanwhile the Pikachu released its discharge while she wasn't looking. The duo followed him into another room. Green, feeling slightly disappointed that the trainer didn't get zapped, waited for the duo to enter before diverting his attention to the giant machine that nearly filled the room. He hit a button and the screen lit up.

    "Now this is where we issue trainer cards, pokedexes, trainer card readers, register you as a trainer and the like. Your trainer card is a very important thing. Card readers can be bought, pokedexs can be replaced. But trainer cards are like ID cards. They also contain any money you get from defeating gyms, given by your parents, winning battles and contests and competitions and the like. They also are some sort of email account. If your parents or other trainers send you a message you will be notified the next time you read your card which should be quite often. If it's just text that it will show up on the reader. Otherwise you have to head to a pokemon center or a lab or a police center or a phone booth to get and receive messages and packages your parents or other trainers-- ah anyone--" Green said, exasperated, with a red face, clearly out of breath,"sends you. It's free at all of the abovementioned places except at phone booths. Basically, that's it. If you lose your card you have to report it ASAP before someone uses it. Now we'll carry on with procedures." The professor started typing rapidly on a keyboard, hit a few buttons, asked Rinoa to put her thumb on a pad to read fingerprints and then ordered her out while he finished registering her. In the meantime the duo hatched a plot...

    Felix and Rinoa walked out of the lab. Rinoa was giggling. Felix had a very human-like smirk on his face. The professor would have a big shock when the homemade explosive detonated. Felix messed about with the professor's books so much that he had learned to read, write and listen to over 10 different languages, as well as learning how to hack, how to rig an explosive, nuclear warfare, how to handle weapons, and a variety of subjects that enhanced the brainy pikachu's knowledge.

    Felix lifted his palm and counted down with his fingers as he stood on Rinoa's shoulder, looking back at the lab, camcorder in hand.

    5...

    Rinoa's giggles became more violent. It nearly threw the crafty pikachu off her shoulder.

    4...

    Felix clung on to the back of Rinoa's shirt and hopped back onto her shoulder, fingers still stuck valiantly into the air, his other hand clutching the camcorder tightly, taping the lab.

    3...

    Rinoa started running with the 6-kg load on her shoulder, trying to keep her shoulders steady so as not to disrupt the filming.

    2...

    She stopped and turned around, clutching the pikachu at the same time to prevent him from falling. The camera remained steady as the camerapikachu used superior acrobatics to balance on its toes with a camcorder in its hand.

    1...

    The duo tensed...

    KA-BOOM!

    The library was going up in flames. Rinoa gaped open-mouth at the sheer force of the explosion. Felix stopped recording, hopped down, placed the camcorder on the ground. There was a note on it.

    It said: This is your camera. There is a tape inside. Look what we have done to yo library. P.S. Libraries ****. Never build another one again or we will be forced to take it out again.

    The part of the building containing the library burned down as the library terminators struted off.

    A while later Rinoa's mother in Hoenn heard someone yell faintly,"^^^^ those ^^^^^^^ ******* duo!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    Meanwhile...

    Rinoa and her new pokemon were walking down route 1. Rinoa was trying to grapple with the new items she had received. Felix was playing with the new whiteboard Rinoa had bought for him.

    "Erm, pokedex, er, where's the instruction sheet, Ow I dropped the pokedex again!"Rinoa said as she dropped the pokedex for the millionth time in half an hour. Felix was giving his eyes exercise by rolling them. Sonic the hedgehog met his match in the speed of the rotating eyeballs of the pikachu. Finding the instructuion sheet, Rinoa read it. "Erm... press the button after aiming the pokedex at the target. How about that rock?"she said as she pointed the pokedex at a rock and pressed the button. The screen remained blank.

    Unable to resist any longer, the pikachu leapt onto the back pouch Rinoa was carrying, took out super glue and glued a sturdy branch he broke with thundershock to the whiteboard and wrote,"Point it at a pokemon for goodness sake! Even a turkey could figure that out!" and lifted it high for Rinoa to see(From this point on, I will just say wrote/write.). She pointed it at the pikachu and hit the button. The result was stupid. Freaked out by the sudden reading out of data from the pokedex, Rinoa dropped the pokedex again and Felix anime-fell as a result. Humiliated, the girl put the device into the pouch and drew out her trainer card and card reader. Using her common sense, she slotted the card through the only card slot right at the top at the device and anticipated a sudden voice emerging out of the speakers at the side. As she anticipated, a voice said,"You have one new message. Receive it at the receiving locations."

    "There must be a parcel," Rinoa muttered. Seeing a phone booth nearby, she walked towards it. Meanwhile she looked at the device. There were some buttons on the device. Five buttons were laid out on the top horizontally. They said Inbox, Read, Reply, Delete, Write. Below that were four buttons, bearing the symbols of play, stop, pause, record. Below that was a pad with arrows similar to those found on some handphones and a number pad that was exactly the same as the kind on handphones. At the left side of the arrow pad were two buttons, money and transfer. On the other side there was a button and a small screen. The button said Random number. There was a projection machine built into the blue device. I'll find out more about these buttons later, she thought.
    Just then she nearly ran into the booth itself. It was nearly as big as an ordinary phone booth. Placing the reader into her pouch and holding on to her card tightly, she opened the door and walked in, nearly shutting the pikachu out. She shut the opaque door behind her and looked at the opaque walls. Light filtered into the room through the glass ceiling. The booth was soundproof. Oxygen entered through a special machine that reduced vibration in the air that goes into it. She looked at the phone. There was a screen at the top, a number pad below it, a card slot that read trainer cards, phone cards and credit cards, a slot for coins, and two empty spaces at the bottom. One was slightly bigger than the largest size of parcel (which was about as large as a CPU) allowed for postage and one looked like a pokeball slot. The screen flickered and lighted up as the sensor on the yellow floor detected the pressure of her feet on the floor. The screen said,"Either pick up receiver and deposit coin or place credit card or trainer card or phone card in slot to call or place trainer card in slot to receive messages". She slid her card through the slot. The screen flickered. "You have one new message," the screen said. "Press ok to read. Amount will be deducted from card." She hit the button on the touch screen.
    The screen flickered again. It now showed her mother speaking. It was a video message.

    "Rinoa, I know you are reading this message now. I don't know where you are, but I want you to know that we miss you. Don't get into any more trouble. The professor just called saying that you burnt his library down. I admit it was quite funny but you could get into a lot of trouble. Fortunately the professor was nice enough to let it slide. Your father got ahold of some very special items that he wanted you to have. He also got you another pokemon for god knows what reason. I've also sending another set of clothes and a pokegear so that we can call you whenever we want to get in touch. Do your best in whatever you want to do okay? For now you could hang around Kanto and check out the pokemon and people around. You can learn a lot more about pokemon that way. Well, good bye and have fun! Call me with your pokegear when you get this message or when you have time!" The screen went blank and a gigantic parcel and a pokeball dropped out of the slots. Rinoa stood there in a daze. Suddenly she came to her senses and realised that there were tears rolling down her cheeks. Wiping away her tears, she grabbed the parcel and found it very heavy. She just managed to drag it outside and Felix helped carry the pokeball out. Once outside Rinoa was just about to open the parcel when she heard a loud and shocked "Pi pika chu cha!!??" emerge from the pikachu. She turned to face the pokemon. With his trusty signboard, he proceeded to explain his sudden outburst, complete with punctuation marks.

    It said:"Your father sent you a Torchic! Torchic do not reside in Kanto. According to Pokemon league rulebooks you need to be a previous or current league champion or understudy to be able to have the privillege to have pokemon in your party that do not reside in the particular region. Otherwise you will have to apply for a temporary pass for contests or competitions or buy a permanent pass which costs a pretty penny. Your parents must be rich."

    "No,"Rinoa replied. "Let's give it a name."

    She released the Torchic. "Tor?" said the Torchic, confused.

    "It's saying 'What?'"Felix wrote.

    "Why don't you talk to it while I get everything into the bag,"she said.

    Felix looked at her, confused. Then he turned and talked to the torchic.

    She turned away and opened the parcel and put on the pokegear and put the rest of the things inside into her bag. Unfortunately it was too big and she had to use the shrinking and expanding device they stole from Green and then everything fit. All the while she was crying.

    Thank you, Mum and Dad, she thought as she put everything away into her bag. Wiping her tears away, she turned.

    "Now, what should I call you?" she mused aloud. The pokemon stopped talking.

    "She's a girl," Felix wrote.

    Rinoa pointed the pokedex at the torchic and hit the button. The Torchic decided to move just then and the pokedex went blank. Felix told the Torchic to stop running. She stopped.
    "I'll just call you Chick!" Rinoa decided as she pocketed the pokedex.

    "Chick!"Chick said happily. Rinoa smirked and withdrew the Torchic. Felix wrote, "I name you, you name me, all of us are namertrees," and Rinoa bashed him over the head.
    Then they moved on when Felix suddenly and literally raised a question.

    "What are we gonna do?" he asked.

    "Well..."She hesitated then said, "I dunno."

    Felix anime-fell and flipped himself back up again.

    "But we might as well go defeat the gym leaders for fun," she said.

    Felix got into position and started doing push-ups.

    "Just walk and quit doing weird stuff!" she yelled at the Pikachu. He obeyed.

    Just then, they saw a bunch of children Rinoa's age wandering around. They ran behind them when they spotted them.

    "Please help us!" a boy said. Rinoa was puzzled.

    "Help you what?"

    "Get us to Viridian!"

    "Can't you just walk 7km? we've walked 5km out of 12."

    "We're scared of the wild pokemon."

    "Don't you have pokemon?"

    "No! They were taken!"

    "What! By whom?"

    "Him!"

    "Him who?"

    "There! He's coming!"

    "Wahhhh!" all the children yelled. Rinoa just narrowed her eyes. They’re so childish! She thought.

    "Let's run away before he comes and takes away your pokemon and money in a battle!" a girl said.

    "I'll beat him to a pulp!" Rinoa said.

    "He's got evolved pokemon! You're no match!" the girl replied.

    "Mwahaha!"A man in scruffy clothes appeared."Give me your money and pokemon before you lose horribly!" the man said.

    "Not in a million years!" Rinoa scoffed.

    "Talking big, eh?" the man said, smirking.

    "No," Rinoa replied."Let's have a bet. You win, you can take my pokemon and money and kill all of us. You lose, you leave the pokemon you took and give me all your money."

    "Fair enough!" he said.

    “Hold it! You’re betting our lives too!!!” the rest yelled.

    “I’ll beat him, just wait!” Rinoa said confidently.

    “Well if you say so, then…”

    “Let it rip!!!” Felix wrote on the board. Rinoa bashed him on the head just as it began.
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 13th January 2006 at 7:46 AM.
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

  8. #8
    Shiny_deoxys Guest

    Default

    Very good.
    I liked that chapter the best of all, mostly because it was funny and I laughed reading it. I love Felix's personality, it makes me laugh. I feel sorry for Green, I can tell he is probably going to get a beating in the future. Smart with how you communicate through Felix. The end seemed a little rushed, but other than that it was a great chapter. You read my novels, I read yours. Can't wait for the next chapter.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    ln absolute neutrality.
    Posts
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    Talking Chapter 3!!!!!!

    Yar. I was reading other people's fics and forgot to write my own! *Shudders* Anyway thanks for dropping by and reading and giving comments. This post was edited due to inability to double post. Haha. Crossover quote and move here. Clue: Both are from a Sonic game. If you know which game it's from, who said/did it, and when PM me. Closest answer is the winner! Winner gets a minor, lame character in upcoming chapters.

    Chapter 3
    -Red's near loss-

    "Go! Charmeleon, Wartortle, Ivysaur!"the man yelled.

    Three pokeballs flew out and unleashed the three pokemon.

    "Go Chick, Felix!" Rinoa yelled as she threw a pokeball. Felix rushed in front with his signboard. He scribbled on the board and threw it backwards. It landed at Rinoa's feet and read: "Okay! Time to fight!"

    The Torchic appeared right beside the Pikachu. It exhaled a little fire and got ready to showdown.

    "Hey! You big bully! You actually need 3 evolved pokemon to take out one basic pokemon!? You're useless!"Rinoa said to the man.

    Felix grabbed his board and wrote, "Zeusless, you mean."

    "Scared?" the man said tauntingly.

    "Of course not!" Rinoa replied.

    "Wartortle, Surf! Charmeleon, Ember! Ivysaur, Razor Leaf!" The attacks mixed to make one big wave of blue and red, with some parts white due to the embedded razor leaves. Rinoa could actually feel the opponent's pokemon grinning, smirking and determination to win. Well, I won't let them have their way, she thought.

    "Thunderbolt, Ember!"Rinoa issued a command right back, fully unaware that Felix couldn't have learnt Thunderbolt at his level and would ignore the command. At least, that's what the man and the other children thought. Chick unleashed a flurry of fireballs and Felix fired thunderbolts which mixed into the Ember attack. The result was a gigantic explosion that threw everybody backwards. As everyone got to their feet they saw a badly injured Ivysaur and Torchic staggering, a Charmeleon and a Wartortle covered in bruises and a Pikachu bouncing energetically like a professional boxer, with absolutely no injures on it at all.

    As everyone was gazing around in shock(including the man and the pokemon) Rinoa issued another command.

    "Ember! Thunder!" Chick shot a few dozen pellets at the Ivysaur which caught it unawares and knocked it out. Then Chick collapsed.

    Meanwhile Felix was starting a full-fledged thunderstorm(without the rain) and was zapping the Wartortle into soot-black piles of garbage. The Wartortle collapsed before the last one reached him. The man recovered after seeing two of his pokemon being downed. Now it was truly one-on-one.

    "Charmeleon, Fire slash! Maximum speed!"

    Flames burst from the Charmeleon's claws as it charged at 50km/h at the Pikachu.

    Somehow, Rinoa could sense the desperation in Charmeleon.

    It was over in a second.

    There was a loud thump as two things hit the ground simultanously, one steaming.
    ----------------------
    "That was great Felix!"Rinoa complimented her pokemon as they walked out of Route 1 into Viridian city.

    "Don't mention it," the recipent replied on his signboard.

    At that critical moment, Felix had leapt into the air and bounced down so hard on the Charmeleon's skull it forced the Charmeleon's face into the ground and its claws into its face, leaving it steaming and unconscious, skull fractured.

    Rinoa took out her Torchic's pokeball and said," You did great too."

    "Toooorchicccc......." The pokemon said, exhausted.

    "Guess we have to spend the night here... no wait!"Rinoa said excitedly."Let's go visit Miss Yellow! She'll heal Chick in a jiffy!" Having finished, she sped towards the heart of the city using her running shoes. Felix carried Chick on his head and pursued his trainer and caught up.

    "Do you have an inkling if she's moved? Or has she married?" Felix wrote on his board.
    Rinoa came to a screeching halt and Felix had to stop and run back to his trainer, together with Chick, which had fallen off Felix's head.

    "Well, erm... ahhh... no," Rinoa said uncertainly and her pokemon anime-fell.

    "Honestly, couldn't you have told us earlier?" Felix wrote as he and Chick got to their feet."We wouldn't have to rush around. Anyway, you're as dumb as a rock. I'm amazed you can actually find your way around."

    Rinoa proceeded to layth the smackdownth on her pokemon in anger. Chick watched with anime-drops of sweat on the back of her red head the severe beating up of the Pikachu.

    After Rinoa was done with beating him up, Felix, despite the many bruises and cuts inflicted on him, wrote while Rinoa turned and walked towards Yellow's house,"She is definitely a rock. Stupid but packs a punch." Chick rolled her eyes and followed after her trainer. Felix followed, limping behind.

    Later...

    *Ding dong!*

    "Who might that be?"A woman with blond hair, a sweet voice and eyes like raisins said. She walked over to a device near and said into it,"Hello, this is Viridian Daycare center.
    “What can I--"

    "Whoops, looks like we got the wrong place guys."A girl's voice cut in before the woman had finished."Maybe Miss Yellow did move."

    Suddenly the woman had a flash of a memory 6 years ago or so, but she could not put her finger on what was so familiar.

    There was a loud scraping sound outside and the voice said again,"I'll try. And stop scratching the wall with your signboard. You'll damage it. Hello, is Miss Yellow there?"

    "Yes,"the woman replied. It must be another fan, she thought. I only defeated the Elite four with everybody's help but I'm famous. She sighed.

    "Great! I think we've got the right place. Can I see her?"

    "I suppose you can, seeing that she runs the daycare,"Yellow said as she opened the door.
    Out in the sunlight stood Rinoa with dirt and dust all over her after her scuffle with Felix. A white Felix stood beside her on crutches. Chick was panting and looked exhausted.

    "Oh my! What have you got into? You look like a mess!"Yellow exclaimed.

    "I beat up my Pikachu because he was ^^^^ naughty and my Torchic got injured in a battle,"Rinoa explained sheepishly.

    "Why don't you come in and rest while I heal up your pokemon?"Yellow said.

    "I think 7 years made you forget all about me."

    "Huh? What are you talking about?"

    "I'm Rinoa, Miss Yellow. I moved to Johto 7 years ago... You said I could drop by anytime for a visit so... here I am." Rinoa finished somewhat lamely.

    A flash of realisation flickered over Yellow's face. 7 years ago... Back then she was 23.
    She met Rinoa, who was so interested in the Ratatas running around, the Pikachus going wild once in a while, the occasional Caterpie or Weedle that made the trip from the forest to the city alive. She made friends with her and brought her on an excursion into the forest once. It made her happy. She also wanted to see a Pikachu but they would always run away before they were sighted. In fact she liked Pikachus a lot. Once she made her way into the forest herself. It ended in a huge family quarrel and made her want to go back into the forest. Then Rinoa told Yellow about what she was going to do and Yellow had helped her by giving her pokedolls before she set off to distract any hostile pokemon she might encounter. She kept bringing back a certain Pikachu from the forest. Apparently it had taken a liking to her when they met. It didn't run away from her like the other pikachu. And apparently it had protected her from the beedrill shortly after that. Yellow had brought this up to Green, who was still doing reseach on the phenomena after 7 years. In the end, when she had to leave she was sad. Because she had to leave the Pikachu. She kept calling it "dear little pika" as a pet name.

    Felix looked at Yellow. Somehow, she seemed familiar. So was Rinoa. And somewhere, another memory of another Rinoa wearing different clothes appeared vaguely for a moment before disappearing.

    "Go take a bath while I heal your pokemon, Rinoa. Get all that dirt and dust off you, you're dirtying the center. Some pokemon are really sensitive to dirt and dust and it might affect them. The layout of the house hasn't changed except a few rooms out back to simulate different surroundings for different pokemon," Yellow said.

    "Okay,"Rinoa said as she headed for the bathroom.

    Yellow took a look at Chick and at Felix and decided to heal the latter first.

    "Remove all your bandages and sit on that sofa,"Yellow commanded.

    Felix limped over to the sofa and jumped so that he could sit on it. Next, he removed the bandages and dropped the crutches. The injuries that Yellow saw made her jaw drop in amazement.

    Felix was no longer yellow and black. He was black and blue all over except for some small streaks of red here and there. Controlling herself, Yellow stretched out a hand towards Felix and closed her eyes. A soft hum echoed throughout the quiet room and Felix closed his eyes as the injuries began to heal. His body began to return to its original colour. The scratches closed and the blood vanished. The broken leg mended. In a minute, Felix was healed. He leapt down from the sofa and started jumping around. Meanwhile Yellow placed Chick on the sofa and healed it too. In a moment the pokemon were energized. But they were hungry. She made them wait till Rinoa came out of the bath then they all ate lunch together. Just then a difficulty presented itself in the form of Felix being picky about his food.

    "I don't want this pokechow,"he wrote."I want the pikachu blend!"

    "Don't be picky, just eat,"Rinoa replied.

    "Easy for you to say,"Felix retorted defiantly."Look at your food!"

    She did. There were all sorts of delicacies from all over the globe, from Sharpedo's fin soup, Clambalone, a small portion of Black Pepper Kingler to a giant plate of Spice-a-Spoink(all fake of course, Yellow would never take it lying down if they were real).
    "I wish I could eat those,"Felix wrote."You humans get ta eat way more than us. It's unfair."

    "It's fake anyway," Yellow said.

    "Yeah, but it tastes better than this pokechow." came the reply.

    Chick nudged her new buddy and whispered something.

    "You like it, I don't." Felix stated flatly. "I'm Pikachu, you're Torchic. We're different."

    "I wish I could just evolve him so that he shuts the ^^^^ up," Rinoa whispered to Yellow.

    The latter sighed and said, "Well, you sit on the chair and eat and let's see how it tastes."

    "Good idea," came the reply, stopping the argument between the two pokemon. He hopped onto the chair, took a bite out of the Clambalone and wrote, "What the ****, human eat this ^^^^!? ^^^^, this tastes worse than that stupid ******* pokechow *********!" It earned him a beating from all present and he was thrown out of the house via a Double Kick attack initated by Chick in her anger. After that she took a peck out of her pokechow and used Double Kick alternately, testing out her new
    move while the two humans watched and ate at the same time.

    Meanwhile...

    As a man wearing a red cap, black shirt, red and white coat and blue trousers approached the daycare center, he saw a Pikachu with a collection of injuries on the gravel outside the boundaries of the fence outside the house itself lying spreadeagled and holding a signboard that said, "Screw all of them!" He picked the little guy up and walked up to the door and pressed the bell while inspecting the pikachu-shaped hole in the door.

    Inside...

    "Who could that be?" said Yellow as she answered the door."Hello, Viridian Daycare center-"

    "Cut that short, Yellow, and just lemme in," a voice cut Yellow short for the second time in a day. She looked irritated.

    "^^^^, do you always have to do that? It's irritating," Yellow answered as she opened the door. "It's enough having two people cut me short and one irritating pikachu being picky."

    The door opened and the man stepped in. "Are you referring to this guy?" he said.

    "Yeah," Rinoa answered from the table. Yellow glared at her, angry at the rudeness.

    "He was holding a very interesting sign. It said: Screw all of them!"

    "Red, would you mind helping me beat the ^^^^ out of the guy? I'll really appreciate it. I really do," Yellow said.

    Felix broke out in cold sweat and wrote,"I'm innocent!"

    "^^^^ yeah you're innocent," said his trainer, standing up. "Hey Chick, let's go bash him."

    Minutes later, Rinoa's mother in Hoenn could faintly hear a Pikachu howl.

    After the short bashing session a photo had been taken of Felix in all his injured glory. Then Yellow healed him and he was currently taking a nap, relieved that he was out of torture. The rest were playing Pokepoly. Chick was sleeping too, using her trainer's lap as a bed while she played the game. After the game they went around(Chick had woken up) and looked at some of the pokemon that were prancing around. There was a couple of Pidgey singing choir-style and a Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee sparring. Chick ran towards Hitmonlee and started to imitate Hitmonlee's kicks. Just then, Red had an idea.

    "Hey, I've an idea," he said. "How about Rinoa and I spar and I can give her some pointers?"

    She immediately replied,"Okay!"

    "But we have to wait till your Pikachu wakes up," Red said. "I want you to use both our pokemon and I'll use one of mine."

    "No need to wait," Yellow said. "Look there."

    They looked.

    Felix took a running start and dropkicked the two fighting pokemon in the face and proceeded to layth the smackdownth on them. The two pokemon then crawled into a corner and nursed their injuries. Yellow ran towards them and healed them.
    Meanwhile Felix was put into a stranglehold by his trainer as they walked out of the house to have a match. Yellow watched from inside the house from an open window. The pokemon running around kept well clear of the battle field.

    "Gyarados!" Red shouted as he threw the ball.

    "Felix!" The Pikachu hopped forward and bounced like a professional boxer.

    The gigantic Gyarados appeared. Undaunted, the little guy took advantage of his five fingers on each hand to make an incredibly rude sign. If they weren't in a battle, Felix would get another beating he would never forget.

    "Gyarados, Dragonbreath!"

    "Felix, Thunderbolt!"

    The thunderbolt appeared first and hit Gyarados in the stomach. It howled in pain, and unleashed its pain and fury in its attack. It went far and wide.

    "Gyarados, control yourself and use Rage!"Red yelled. Sweat beads appeared on his forehead.

    Rinoa and Felix threw themselves flat on the ground to avoid the attack. She could sense the surprise in Red as well as the Gyarados, but didn't know why.

    "Thunderpunch!" Felix seized the chance to punch the location where the crotch should be on a Gyarados if it were human. Gyarados screamed in pain.

    "Earthquake!" He followed his trainer's command, unleashing his pain and anger once more. Rinoa fell back and bashed her head on a rock. Blood streamed from her head as she struggled to stand after the powerful attack. Felix was stumbling like he was confused.

    "Return!" Felix returned to his pokeball and didn't attempt to come out. She held it tightly in her hand as she threw another one.

    "Chick!" The Torchic hopped out, ready to battle.

    "Hydro pump!" The jet of water missed the pokemon but hit the girl, throwing her back. Her back hit the fence. Chick turned and looked at her trainer, confused. Gyarados took the chance to blast the little chick with a devastating Hydro pump and it flew backwards and landed beside its trainer.

    "Tor...?"It said as it pressed against its trainer and fainted.

    "Return..."Rinoa said weakly. She could hardly stand. Blood was dripping onto the ground from the back of her head. The fence was bloody from her blood. She could sense that Gyarados was worn out. Yeah, but I'm worse off, she thought. I'll take a shot!

    "Felix, go!" She yelled at the top of the voice, trying to get rid of the nervewracking pain.

    Yellow looked at her with concern but she ignored her. "Thunderpunch!"

    "Don't let them Gyarados! Hyper Beam!" Red said, showing no mercy.

    Yellow watched in horror as Gyarados unleashed his deadly payload towards the pokemon and his trainer. It was too late for her to do anything now except watch.

    Rinoa ran, picked up Felix and shielded him from the beam as it hit them.

    "HUAHHHHHHH!"

    As the dust cleared, the first visible thing was a signboard that said, "Game over? You ^^^^ right we're over!"
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 13th January 2006 at 7:46 AM. Reason: Adding chapter
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

  10. #10
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    Nice. This chapter is really realistic, like a pokemon battle should be, though a little violent, but we are talking Gyarados here. Very descriptive, and I like how things are going on. Though I can't tell what is going to happen next, I can tell you are not going to let us down.

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    I'll reveal something: The thing you're3 waiting for appears in next chapter. And the last line was from a card in WWE trading card game from HHH. If you understand, okay. If not bleahz. A blood bank will be compulsory after the battle, I can tell you that.
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

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    You’ll discover the mini identity of a major character in this chapter. Have fun reading! And here comes:

    Chapter 4
    -“Dear little pika”-

    The dust settled and Red saw the Pokemon and his trainer behind a Light Screen.

    “I may be too late to shield my trainer but I shielded myself!” wrote Felix. “I’m gonna whack you in the crotch again, just you wait, and layth the smackdownth on you too, just you wait, and make you cry too, just you wait, and-”He paused to rub off his words to write more. “Screw you too, just you wait, and play my acoustic guitarrr till yer yers break, just you wait and ^^^^ yeah I’ll kick yer *** so hard you’ll kiss the moon too, just you wait, and you gonna wish you’d never been born, just you wait and-”

    “Do me a favour and shut the ^^^^ up about the just you waits or your marker’s gonna run out of ink, just you wait and before you begin to attempt to beat the living crap out of me-”Red was cut off by the signboard being raised.

    “Yeah you gonna more crap when I beat the crap out of you mon, just you wait-”

    “JUST SHUT THE **** UP ABOUT THE JUST YOU WAITS, WILL YOU?” Red yelled, angry. “You’re out and that’s it!”

    “Aww ^^^^ no I ain’t done yet mon, just you wait, I’ll show you-”

    Red controlled his voice as he talked to the Pikachu. “You’re out.”

    “Why, Mr. Have-to-use-Hyper-Beam-to-defeat-us-weakling?”

    Yellow tensed as she thought Red would give the little guy the finger.

    He controlled himself and said, “Your trainer is out cold. According to league regulations-”

    “Ahha!” came the triumphant word. “That’s the plan, huh? Knock out my trainer and say I win you loossse huh? Dun crap wif mi man, I kick yer *** to da moon I tell ya, mwahaha, losar!” The guy laughed and rolled about on the floor.

    Red was about to reply when Yellow said, “Alright, that’s it! Keep arguing and someone’ll die. Shut up already!” as she ran out of the house towards the girl.

    The two arguing turned. The Pokemon ran to his trainer and snapped to attention. The other withdrew his Gyarados which looked very angry and ran over to the girl lying on the ground.
    Later…

    The evening sun was setting. Yellow watched the sun set from a window on the second floor as well as watching Rinoa and her Pikachu and her Torchic catch some Pokemon near the grass patch near the Pokemon league Headquarters (Her house was near the patch). She sighed as she thought about all that had happened that day.

    They had carried her inside the house and Felix grabbed ahold of two Zubat from the dark room and asked if they needed blood for Rinoa. Yellow had said no although she was not sure. She wanted to send her to the hospital but Red said she would be fine. Instead of her bandanna, she was now wearing a bandage around her head. She had changed out of the clothes she had been wearing and was now wearing a loose shirt and loose shorts that she had brought. Yellow looked down at the area where the battle had taken place and grimaced. She would have to repaint the fence where the blood was. The two Zubat that Felix had grabbed just now were now outside licking up Rinoa’s blood from the grass, not minding the light. Just then the bell rang and Yellow answered the door. Rinoa was back from catching Pokemon. There was a mountain of pokeballs in her hands and even Felix and Chick were kept busy holding the pokeballs. Actually Chick just kicked them around.

    “I caught all these…”Rinoa panted as she heaved the pokeballs onto the table. Red, who was reading a newspaper, looked over the paper and gaped at the amount of pokeballs there were. There were about 50 of them. It was even more than the amount of pokeballs Red had 20 years ago when he first met Bill, transformed into a Ratata. Rinoa looked pale from losing all that blood but she was less pale than when she first woke up. “They’re just for my pokedex anyway, but there’s one guy I’m gonna bring around.” She dropped a pokeball and a Spearow hopped out. “Speary Speary!” it said.

    “Hey you learn your name fast!” Rinoa said as she cradled Speary in her arms. “It’s a girl.”

    “Why don’t you send all those pokeballs into the retrieval system?” Yellow asked.

    “I can’t figure out how to haul them to the center,” she replied.

    “Then use Yellow’s transporter,” Red said. “It’s easier.”

    “She has one?” Rinoa said, surprised.

    “Heya rock,” Felix wrote, “Daycare centers are entitled to a registered and free transporter so that it’s easier to send the Pokemon to the owner(s).” Rinoa resisted the temptation to punch him.

    30 minutes later…

    “We’re done,” said Rinoa said as the last 10 pokeballs were beamed off. “And now to buy a certain guy Pikachu blend pokechow.” She glared at Felix.

    “Gimme your trainer card and I’ll buy it,” wrote Felix.

    “No way,” Rinoa said, “You’re going to use it to buy a thousand boxes of pokechow.”

    He paused for a moment, then wrote, “Plan foiled.”

    Rinoa just rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go together and we can catch more Pokemon.”

    “Race you there!” he wrote before dashing off. Rinoa followed. She remembered to shut the door.

    The minute the door closed, Red looked over the newspaper he was poring over and walked over to the kitchen where Yellow was preparing dinner.

    “Wassup, Red?” Yellow asked as he stepped in. “More spice on your chicken?”

    “Nah,” Red said. “It’s something else.”

    “What?” Yellow said absentmindedly.

    “Don’t you notice something strange from just now?”

    “No, the only thing I noticed was that you,” she turned off the fire, grabbed a clean spatula, turned around and prodded Red in the chest with each syllable she said. “used a Hy-per Beam on a help-less be-gin-ning train-er.” She turned around, cleaned the spatula and started cooking again.

    “I didn’t want to lose,” Red said sheepishly.

    “For heaven’s sake!” Yellow exclaimed. “How could you lose to a Pikachu? I think you’re underrating yourself.”

    “Gyarados howled, Yellow. The last time he howled was 18 years ago when I fought Bruno on Mount Moon. And he only does it when he’s really hurting. Bad,” Red said.

    “Okay, so what’s so strange about the battle?”

    “First off, That Pikachu’s Thunderbolt and Thunderpunch did way too much damage even though it didn’t hit Gyarados’ vital spot, which is the forehead. The damage nearly knocked out Gyarados.”

    “So?”

    “Second, Light Screen. Pikachu can’t learn Light Screen, and there isn’t a Technical Machine for it.”

    “Yeah?”

    “Third, Felix was about to faint after I nailed him with Earthquake, but when Rinoa threw him out again he had full health.”

    “So?”

    “Fourth, they nearly beat me. Gyarados had very little energy left.”

    “What’s up with that?”

    “That means-”

    “Yeah, she has the power of the Viridian Forest just like me. Right?”

    “Not just that.” Red had a maniac gleam in his eye. “This Pikachu is no ordinary Pikachu, that’s for sure.”

    “Oh whatever,” said Yellow.

    “Sheesh,” Red said as he left the room. As he did, Yellow thought that he might be right…

    Later at dinnertime…

    “This is more like it,” wrote the troublesome yellow pokemon. “Finally I get some Pikachu-blend pokechow.”

    “Shut up and eat or you’ll eat another Double Kick!” was the general message sent to Felix via 3 humans and 2 pokemon glaring at him. Felix shut up meekly. Dinner continued and ended peacefully without any other trouble.

    Later that night…

    It was late. Rinoa had fallen asleep. So had Felix, Chick and Speary. Chick and Speary were right beside their trainer. Felix however, was a different story. He was in a baby chair in front of Yellow’s computer. Evidently he had gone hacking and had hacked several Neopokemon accounts and swapped lots of stuff. Beginners found themselves filthy rich and veterans were as poor as beggars. Inventories were filled and drained. His activities were on a window which was wide open at the moment.

    Yellow was at the moment trying to wake Red up so that he could go home.

    “Red, wake up!” Yellow said. “You… lousy IDIOT!” She yelled as she heaved him upright. Looks like I have to recharge his batteries, Yellow thought. And I know just the thing!

    She walked over to Felix. “Get up, Felix!” A loud snore met her ears. She looked up and studied the screen. The result(“WHAT THE ****!? FELIX! YOU LITTLE ********!”) woke both Red and Felix up. The profanities seemed to have an effect on both of them.

    Just as Felix was about to get blasted into oblivion, the door to Yellow’s room opened.

    “A bunch of Dragonite has just gone nuts in Fuchsia!” Rinoa said as she ran out of the room, Chick and Speary at her heels. Just then Red’s pokegear rang. He answered it.

    “What!? A bunch of Dragonite running loose!? Okay, I’ll be right over.” He hung up, looked back at Rinoa, waved a quick goodbye to both Rinoa and Yellow and dashed off. Outside, Red released Aerodactyl. Rinoa just knew that Aerodactyl was not very happy that it was interrupted in its sleep.

    “How did you know that?” Yellow asked.

    “I just feel them trying to break out of something then they did and I woke up, and somehow I knew it was real. Just now I knew that Red’s Aerodactyl was unhappy to be woken up in his sleep even though I didn’t want to know.” Yellow was silent for a moment. She looked outside the window and asked, “How do the Zubats outside feel?” at the same time stretching her hand out of the window and closing her eyes to read the Zubats’ feelings.

    Before Yellow was even done, Rinoa said, “Happy because it’s nighttime and they’ve got blood to lick.”

    Yellow found that true.

    “What about my Butterfree?” Yellow asked again, pointing to her pocket. Rinoa instantly said without moving anything except her mouth, “It’s dreaming of eating honey in the morning.” Yellow used her powers again and found that true.

    “Now your Pikachu.” She pointed to Felix, who had fallen asleep again.

    “Simple enough. Dreaming of eating and swimming and drowning infinite boxes of Pikachu blend pokechow.” Yellow found it true also.

    Just then Yellow beat up Felix and threw him on the ground. “Try healing him.” Yellow said. Rinoa just
    looked at him and the wounds began to heal. She turned away and the wounds were still healing. When Felix was back to his original form, the healing stopped. Rinoa turned again and looked at Yellow. She took a seat on the sofa. Rinoa followed her lead.

    “You have the power of the Viridian forest, Rinoa. Except that your powers are far more enhanced than mine or any other person that has this power. The range of reading Pokemon’s thoughts and emotions for you stretches all the way to Fuchsia or even further. Maybe a radius of a few hundred kilometers. Your powers of healing could also be used this way. I don’t know. You also don’t show any sign of doing any such thing ordinarily unless you tell us or the pokemon does. Or maybe when someone is sharp enough to catch you healing a pokemon or reading its thoughts. That’s all I have to say about you. Now go get some sleep. I hope I answered all the questions in your head.”

    Rinoa couldn’t sleep. Felix knew because she kept tossing and turning on the mattress on the ground. They were sleeping in Yellow’s room. Soft breathing sounds came from Yellow’s bed. Well, Felix thought, she was the one who didn’t want the bed, so now she’s not enjoying her sleep because of that. Chick and Speary had already fallen asleep. Images of eating pokechow wafted in his brain and before he knew it, he was asleep.

    Felix woke up in the middle of the night due to Chick pecking him in the groin. Angry, he ran out of the house to escape the pecking terror which sleepwalked after him before he left the house. He left by the back door.

    Outside he saw Rinoa lying on the grass. She had removed the bandages from her head. The back of her head wasn’t bleeding anymore. The Zubat were still feeding on her blood, this time the blood on the fence. He had never seen Rinoa without anything on her head before(He and Red were still fighting when they got inside the house and didn’t pay much attention to Yellow dressing Rinoa’s wound) and sneaked closer to look. She was looking at the stars and had a pendant in her hand. The pendant was broken. And Felix had a sudden flash of realization. He made his way back into Yellow’s room to sleep, cautiously avoiding the sleepwalking Chick and her new partner, Speary.

    The next morning…

    Rinoa had left Yellow’s house and now headed towards the forest with two purposes. As they entered the forest, Felix leapt from her shoulder and ran away.

    “Felix, where’re you going?” she asked. “Argh!” she said as she nearly tripped over a root. She followed him off the path and through a maze of trees for about an hour(because she got lost).
    How am I gonna find him? Rinoa thought. Just then, she saw Felix in front of a bush. Rinoa caught up with him.

    “Why *puff* did you *huff* bring me *puff* here *huff*?” She asked Felix while gasping for air.

    He opened the bush and Rinoa gasped in surprise.
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 13th January 2006 at 7:47 AM.
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

  13. #13
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    that is cool it is funny the way they keep beating up felix and when felix and reana(?) blew up the lab. And i think it is samel oak NOT green oak.

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    This is 20 years down the road from a Japanese Manga series of Pokemon. There are novelisations of it on Serebii.net. Samuel Oak is 6 feet under. And the lab is being cleaned when Rinoa arrives because *Felix decides to grab writer and attempt strangulation to stop him from revealing plot*. Well *cough cough*, you get the point.

    Rinoa is the name of Squall's girlfriend or whatever you want to call her in Final Fantasy 8. In other words she's a main character in Final Fantasy 8. Just a bit of trivia. *Felix jumps on writer and decides to get rid of him before he reveals the plot anymore*

    Just a little note: If you can't bear the lameness of it, I suggest you don't read a part in the next chapter. It's VERY sick
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

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    Time to nickname some very famous losers! Ahaha! And also from now on all censors are cut to minimum. Very minimum.

    Chapter 5
    -Team Socket-the team of Suckers-

    A broken shining fragment lay on the ground underneath the bush. Felix took it with a swipe and handed it to Rinoa. She could sense Felix’s thought: You know what the **** you do with that. She did. She took out the broken pendant. Felix smirked. The pieces fitted and were reunited after 7 long years of separation(Ahem! Not funny at all!).

    “How did you know this was here?” she asked him.

    She probed into his thoughts and got the answer before he even wrote it. “’Cuz it belongs to me. ME! ME!

    She smiled and placed the pendant(now completed) into her bag again. “Let’s go, Dear little pika,” she said.

    “What the hell!? Call me Felix! Not that mushy, sissy name! Please, Mademoiselle, I’ve outgrown it!”

    “You’re less mature right now than when I first met you. So… Let’s go Dear little pika!” Rinoa walked off, smirking.

    “ARRRRGHHHH! RINOA YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT! WHAT THE ****!? I’LL GET YOU, HELL YEAH, JUST YOU WAIT, YOU *****!” The poisonous thoughts spewing from within Felix’s brain reached his trainer before it reached the whiteboard so before he could write anything he was beaten to a pulp. And they moved on.

    6 hours later…

    “Hairy, are you absolutely sure there are trainers around, even a single powerful trainer?” Airy asked.

    “There should be, shut up and quit whining, and scope in on any rookie. Or any trainer for that matter,” Fairy said.

    “I have our evolved pokemon ready!” Hairy said in glee.

    “Oh! I see a girl!” Airy exclaimed.

    “Ready team… Strike!” Fairy ordered.

    Hooooolld on there! Let’s cut to our heroine and her hero Pikachu.(Narrator got screwed in the face by Felix for calling Rinoa a heroine) *Biff Baff Powwow Ouch Damn **** Argh*

    “Argh… too many pokeballs, can’t… carry… at…all.” Rinoa huffed as she lugged a hundred pokeballs through the forest in a sack provided by the logistic pokemon, which happened to be yellow and has black tipped ears. He himself was heaving 10 sacks of 9 pokeballs and literally had his hands full right then, unable to write anything, but he could think. Rinoa’s reply was, “Yeah, but you’ve got to train your strength. Take it as training.” The pikachu’s murderous look right then would have scared the crap out of lots of people, but not his trainer.

    “Gimme a break, I’m heaving pokeballs too,” Rinoa said. The glare attack shifted to Chick and Speary at the front, chatting away, at the same time looking out for bug type pokemon to kill. The chatting instantly stopped when the glare shifted, and both bird pokemon were breaking out in cold sweat. If they were humans, they would have peed in their pants or whatever it is they would wear. Need to learn how to glare? Come to Felix, the expert. Felix decided to cut his new buddies some slack and turned to look at the trees
    around when-

    “Prepare for rockers and make it triple!”

    “To protect our boss from devastation!”

    “To unite all power within the nations!”

    “To increase the goodness of false and hate!”

    “To extend our strength to the stars above!”

    A man appeared. He looked like a giant sized ball with a small head and small limbs stuck on using superglue. It was a scientific marvel that his legs didn’t break from the bulk they had to support. “Airy!” he said.

    A wolf appeared, tottering on its hind legs. Rinoa nearly screamed. It was giant sized, towering over Rinoa at 1 1/4 her height(which is 144cm, by the way). As Felix analysed the wolf, he screamed. Not in horror. In fury. Pure fury. He was actually a man covered in fur, complete with realistic looking eyes and nose and face features and something big swinging around near the groin, which Felix had no problem figuring out. It was the man’s…… Good god. The message that Felix’s brain was emitting right then was, “WHAT THE ****!?”

    “Hairy!” the wolf said.

    “And Fairy!” Another man appeared. He was the opposite of a fairy, having no wings, being fat and pudgy and heavy, being unable to fly, not having a halo around his head and bearing the most sinister appearance and twisted smile in the world. Even the masked man, Pryce couldn’t match the maliciousness of the man. “Now hand over your pokemon now before we beat the crap out of you and your pokemon.”

    Rinoa scanned the scene and cringed at the sight of the man in the wolf skin. She decided to close an eye to that and look the other way. She didn’t need to reply. The answer was raised, “Try us, lamZ0r n00bs(lame n00bs).”

    “Venusaur!” said Fairy.

    “Blastoise!” said Hairy.

    “Charizard!” said Airy.

    The pokemon were released. Neither the weirdos nor the pokemon looked happy about the last comment.
    “We’re not gonna go easy on you for that,” Fairy said menacingly. Rinoa and her Pokemon were not affected by the attempt to intimidate them. Chick and Speary hopped forward, Felix dropped his signboard and started bouncing like a boxer. The quartet looked like they ready to fight to the end, to win or at the very least, give the not very intimidating men hell while they were at it.

    “Tackle!” Fairy sang. Rinoa had anime sweat drops at the back of her head as Speary dodged it.

    “Drill peck!” Venusaur was given hell by the tiny weeny Spearow as a deep red wound appeared as the beak spun like its life depended on it.

    “Scratch!” Airy’s command led Charizard to aid its friend by using Scratch. Speary ran for it and the wound worsened when the claws sliced through Venusaur’s back, right on the wound. Venusaur was having a tough time.

    “Speary, entertain those two. Felix, Thunderpunch Blastoise on the chin! Chick, Double team!” The punch flipped the pile of blue fat and muscle and bone and skin into the air where it seized the chance to retaliate with Water Gun. The Water Gun flew right through the little chick running around in circles. The trio had their mouths wide open (and Hairy’s thing was…well…never mind) and their pokemon stood wide open for another strike.

    “Chick, Flamethrower. Speary, Drill Peck,” Rinoa said, bored, “Felix, some
    entertainment.” Felix whipped out a pair of sunglasses and a guitar from who knows where, and started playing something that sounded like Satan’s favourite song, with undisclosed stream of profanities as lyrics. The sound caught on with Charizard and Blastoise so much they decided to attack to the music. Jets of water and blasts of fire flew all over the path, razing trees and putting out fires. Felix changed tack. Playing a snazzy disco tune, Felix busted a move to beat the band(which was himself), and the pokemon followed, entranced. Airy and Hairy found themselves unable to command the pokemon to attack and turned to Fairy for advice.

    Venusaur and Fairy were in a deep stew of their own. While Speary drilled further into Venusaur’s wound, Chick was keeping up a Flamethrower to roast the pokemon from green to 100% black, crisp and barbequed dinosaur, with unsightly black liquid dripping from its wound. Venusaur could no longer hold out against the assault and collapsed.

    Felix whipped off his sunglasses and quickly hid the guitar and took out a violin before the pokemon realized the music had stopped. He played a sweet, soothing, sleep-inducing tone and swayed from side to side. Charizard and Blastoise soon succumbed to the music and the motions, and lay fast asleep on the ground, one over the other. Hiding the violin, Felix summoned five huge bolts of yellow and blue to utterly barbeque the pokemon.

    Realising defeat, the trio attempted to flee, but Felix cut off their escape route(which was behind them) while they were withdrawing their pokemon. He was wearing a baseball cap and holding a baseball bat just right for his size. They spun around. As they did, Felix’s baseball bat accidentally deliberately hit them on their pivoting foot which made them collapse to the ground, forcing them into a kneeling position in front of Rinoa.

    “Merci, Mademoiselle!” the trio yelled in unison, kowtowing to her.

    The signboard behind the men prompted her reply, “I’m not married, and what are you thanking me for?”

    The men were quiet.

    “Sheesh, whatta bunch of losers,” Rinoa said, “From whither thou hail?”

    “Team Rocket!” the trio stood up and declared with a hint of pride, “Our boss and his left hand man will squash you!”

    “Isn’t it right hand man?” Rinoa asked, narrowing her eyes.

    “Well, he always stands on our left hand side,” countered Hairy. Rinoa and her pokemon nearly anime-fell.

    “For goodness’ sake…” Rinoa groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead.

    “Idiots, the bunch of them,” Felix wrote, “ Calling them Team Rocket’s an insult. Let’s call them Team Sucket.”

    “Do you have to be that vulgar?” Rinoa said, “Let’s call them Team Socket.”

    “Yar. Get lost Team Socket!”

    After looking back and forth a few times to alternate watching Rinoa talk and reading what Felix wrote, at Felix’s words they turned and ran into the trees off the path. Rinoa smirked and moved on, trailing her pokemon behind her.

    She had not walked far when a beam hit the ground.

    Rinoa found herself thrown sideways though the trees, her arms scraping against countless tree trunks and finally screeched to a stop on her back in a clearing. Her clothes were slightly damaged from the explosion and her short flight through the trees. Her pokemon landed beside her. Both trainer and pokemon were bruised and cut. The sky darkened suddenly from white(it was noon) to black as if someone had thrown the light switch for the sun(if there actually was one). Mist filled the clearing like the smoke from the smoke canisters theatres use filling the stage. Rinoa and her pokemon got up and watched the mist carefully…

    A dark form appeared through the mist, dropping in from the sky. It slowly tottered towards them, like a baby was learning to walk. They tensed themselves for battle…
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 13th January 2006 at 7:48 AM.
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

  16. #16
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    okay thank you and tell felix i said not to kill you or i will send rayquaza.
    Last edited by legendaryrider; 21st July 2005 at 1:38 AM.

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    The first serious chapter in the story that is important to the plot. If you scream at the sheer horror of it, there’s nothing much I can do. The only humour there is going to be in the chapter is the name on one of the characters. And sorry for all the caps and formatting, it was necessary.

    Chapter 6
    -The Maniac *******-
    The figure sauntered out of the mist. There was nothing special about the person. S/he just wore a hooded cloak. Rinoa yawned. She had been expecting something more original as her assailant. Suddenly the person rose a few centimeters from the ground and hovered, at the same time breathing with rasping sounds. From the place where hands should be, stubs of arms appeared, with fingers protruding from the stub. From what Rinoa could see, this person was deformed to a horrible extent. But she was skeptical about it, it was too fake.

    “Who the **** do you think you are, blasting us like that?” Felix asked, more than a little angry.

    “I…AM…THE…MANIAC…*******…LIKE…IT…OR…NOT…YOUR…***…I S…MINE…” the slow dragging voice emanated from the depths of the hood.

    “Why are you insulting your parents? That’s stupid,” Rinoa said.

    “THOSE…ADULTERORS…ABANDONED…ME! THEY…DO…NOT…DESERVE…TO…CALLED…MY…PARENTS!” the Maniac ******* roared.

    “Well, if you’re trying to get rid of us, we’d better start before you lose it.” Rinoa wrote.

    “Bring it on, sucker!”

    “VERY…WELL… I...SHALL…FINISH…YOU…LIKE…MY…MASTER…ORDERED…DRAGONITE!” a Dragonite emerged from a pokeball from somewhere in the folds of his cloak. A Dragonite appeared, but was nothing like Rinoa had ever seen before. It was glinting. Rinoa gasped as a realization of what it was gripped her.

    The Dragonite was covered in metal.

    If the Maniac ******* was planning on killing them, he wasn’t taking any chances.

    “Chick!” Rinoa was not going to let the crazed fool push her over like an ant. She was going to either win or give him hell before she went down.

    “Tor!” Chick said, hopping forward. But before anyone could brace themselves, a Hyper Beam smashed into the ground, right in front of the group consisting Felix, Rinoa, Speary and Chick, throwing them all backwards. They hit the ground, hurt badly from the giant blast. Chick fainted instantly.

    “Chick!” Rinoa exclaimed. The red pokemon lay unconscious on the ground.

    “EARTHQUAKE…” the voice sounded from nowhere. The steel foot crashed into the ground, shaking things up. The trees fell like dominos, as if a giant baby had pushed them down. By the time the attack ended, the clearing(which had a radius of 100m)had been expanded by 3 times. Speary was unaffected by the attack, but her friends were. Blood trickled out the corner of Rinoa’s mouth and her clothes were ripped and torn like a piece of paper cut by some baby with a scissors, and Felix could hardly stand, wobbling like a drunkard. Chick still lay down on the ground. Speary looked nearly like a fried chicken from the blast.

    “BREATHE…ON…THEM…” The metal Dragonite sucked in a huge breath and sneezed. The gust that came out of its nose whirled like a tornado, whipping Rinoa and gang into the air, with the exception of a certain drunkard looking pokemon which was valiantly attempting to push against the wind, making a Herculean effort to strike. When Rinoa had hit the ground on her back, Felix was about to give the Dragonite hell. The fist he drew back fizzled and he was about to strike when it hit.

    Earlier on, the Maniac ******* had already noticed Felix. With a slight wave of his cloak, a Metagross had appeared and sent a huge meteor which connected just as he was about to give Dragonite the shock of his life. The explosion rocked the ground. Felix flew and landed next to Rinoa. Speary, injured badly from the gust, just managed to get up for a second before it had no more strength and collapsed. Neither Rinoa or her pokemon could be able to fight anymore if they were hit again. And the Manaic ******* knew it. Rinoa knew that she was going to die right here, because she had done something that the guy wasn’t happy about.

    If that guy can kill me so easily, how many more times is his master stronger by? I just know I don’t stand a chance against him. I’m dead meat, Rinoa thought as she lay on the ground, the dark sky above her sliding in and out of focus.

    “BEFORE…YOU…LEAVE…THIS…WORLD…LET…ME…TELL…YOU…WHAT… YOU…HAVE…DONE…TO…WARRANT…MY…WRATH…” the Maniac ******* said. “YOU…HAVE…HAD…THE…HONOUR…TO…MEET…MY…SUBORDINATES…A LREADY…HAVEN’NT…YOU…? THEY…WERE…UTTER…FAILURES…THEY…FAILED…TO…REALISE…TH AT…THIS…IS…PART…OF…MY…MASTER’S…GREAT…PLAN! FOOLS…THEY…ARE…THEY…NEARLY…RUINED…HIS…PLAN…THEY…WI LL…PAY…FOR…IT…WE…SHALL…SEE…TOO…BAD…YOU…ARE…BEAUTIU L…YOUNG…LADY…BUT…YOUR…LIFE…ENDS…NOW!” A Tyrannitar appeared from out of nowhere, with the same metal armour as the Dragonite. The three titans stood side by side, with their master in front, charging up one white ball in each of their mouths.

    Rinoa got up. She wasn’t going to die on the ground. She was going to laugh in the face of death. Felix took the signboard and after flipping himself onto his feet, wrote a perfectly insulting message, “I pity da stinkin’, stupid, weak, idiotic, ****ing, sonnuva***** of a foo!”(no grammar errors there)

    Slowly the other pokemon stood too.

    “VERY…WELL…THEN…I…SHALL…GRANT…YOUR…DEATH…WISHES…EA RLY…HAHA…CHRISTMAS…COMES…EARLY!” the Maniac ******* cackled like a witch from one of those old superstitious stories.

    “SO…YOU…WANT…ME…TO…WRITE…LIKE…THIS…SUCKA? YOU…CAN…GO…TO…HELL…FER…ALL…I…CARE…*******! Really, let’s cut to the chase. Take this!” Dropping his signboard, he stood his ground like “Professional Baseball Tactics” taught him to, he drew back the hand with the baseball-sized rock like “Professional Baseball Tactics” taught him to, he lifted a leg 90 degrees into the air like “Professional Baseball Tactics” taught him to. Just as he was about to pitch, he realized that he had never read a book called “Professional Baseball Tactics”, but he threw with gusto anyway, but he inserted a bloodcurdling yell(as bloodcurdling as a Pikachus “Pika!” can get) and pitched a ball from hell. If he had the time he would have made the heavy rock blaze a trail of hellfire and be trailed by the smell of brimstone to make it look like one.

    Now on to the ball. Any batter in the world would have peed in his pants just by looking at the pitch. And run off screaming like some sissy too. The Dragonite, however, decided to be the batter. Still charging the beam, it stepped out and flicked the ball, changing its trajectory as it flew 45 degrees into the air, never to be seen again. Its landing site was through the roof of a certain someone’s new house in Littleroot in Hoenn and onto Ruby’s head while he was eating luncheon with his wife. Furious, he flung the stone out of the same hole with great accuracy. Its final destination was in the garden outside that house. Amazingly, Ruby was unhurt.

    Right then, Rinoa’s parents had no idea what deep **** she was in. The only thing that got to them was the stone anyway.

    Back in the forest Felix was using at least 20 curses per sentence to curse their antagonist to hell. He wasn’t very happy. But the end was near. The huge balls of white were now at least 20 times the size of the stone. Rinoa, Chick and Speary was doing every single thing she could to take out the 3 pokemon.

    “Ember! Gust!”

    The attacks didn’t do much. Meanwhile, Felix attempted the craziest maneuver in history. He threw another baseball-sized rock at the pokemon and then flipped himself into standing with one finger, and with that done he spun like a top, not unlike a Hitmontop. Hey, that rhymes. Whatever. The weight pivoted around the finger as he played a game of Pong against the giant-sized pokemon, only upwards. Rinoa decided to get Chick and Speary to attack the ball so that the pokemon would be at least weakened in some amount.

    The ploy didn’t work anyway. The psychopath let off another laugh and said, “USELESS…UTTERLY…USELESS…FOOLS…STRUGGLING…WELL…IT’ S…THE…LAST…TIME…YOU…DO…SO…ENJOY…IT…HAHA…LOSERS…TOT AL…LOSERS…MWAHAHAH!

    Crap! Rinoa thought, We’re dead!

    “DIE!”

    A huge blast came from the three giant beams combined. They converged and formed a gargantuan beam that looked like it had the potential to utterly disintegrate anything in its path. Rinoa, Felix(who had stopped spinning and returned to his mistress’s side *Felix beats the crap out of narrator for that, ouchie daisie ouch damn **** crap*), Chick and Speary watched open-mouthed as the huge beam loomed menacingly in front of them. Just 10 seconds before impact, a shadow flitted past, and a huge ethereal shield materialized in front of them. The jaws slackened so much that they threatened to dislocate themselves.

    The beam hit just as they were about to turn their head.

    The shield didn’t help. The beam blasted through it, shattered it. It hit Rinoa square in the chest. She screamed as the pain wracked her nerves, her body, her brain and her senses(including the sixth), destroying her sensitivity to other things, like the fact that her pokemon were too in pain, their cries showed that.

    She didn’t even feel anything when she hit the ground.

    “Hey kid, wake up,” a gruff voice said, “Are you okay? Wake up!” There was a sigh. “Unconcsious. Looks like I’m going to have to lug this dead weight to the nearest hospital…”
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 13th January 2006 at 7:48 AM. Reason: Putting in chapter
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

  18. #18
    Shiny_deoxys Guest

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    Be a good boy now Felix. Sorry it has been so long since I have written, but I had to finish my last novel as you know and have now been working on the next. I really enjoy your work though others might not. Keep it up, really. Your work is great.

  19. #19
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    Ok Fred the barmy Pikachu, this is the funniest fic I have ever read. I was having trouble stifling my laughs in the earlier chapters.

    I thought it was Frank the Nutty pikachu.

    Well written, occasional spelling errors and immense humour. I thought S.F. used a lot of swear words in New Land, New Heroes. And it was Philip the Crazy Pikachu.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............. ..

    This is the first fic I've laughed with, not at.

    Don't worry Sheila the frankly ordinary pikachu, that was the best compliment you'll get from Jack.
    Pair Up: Shadowfaith, mess with her, mess with me.
    Old Name: Shiny Flygon

    Evidently, I'm back.

  20. #20
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    What? You thought there weren’t any more chapters? Wrong. A new character appears in the story. He is a main character. That’s all I can say because if I say anymore *Felix makes another suffocation attempt to stop narrator from revealing plot*. This is the first time in the story I switch P.O.V It will be shown by this: :::Insert name here::: . I know this one is ultra long but whatever.

    Chapter 7
    -The first Badge-

    :::Rinoa:::

    “Ugh…”I groaned as my eyes slowly opened. I twitched my fingers. When my eyes focused, I was staring at a white ceiling. Was this heaven? Or hell? Or the afterlife? I didn’t care. I tried to get up but felt such excruciating pain in my chest I fell back again, screaming at the same time.

    “Crap!” I swore and unleashed a flurry of vulgarities, rubbing my chest at the same time and wincing from the pain induced by rubbing my own chest. The only thing that prevented me from screaming again was that my lip was being bitten(by who else? Me of course). Of course I stopped rubbing my chest, who in their right minds would deliberately inflict pain on themselves? Hoping to get an answer to why my chest was hurting even though I was dead, I lay back on my pillow and all went black.

    :::Felix:::

    There’s just one thing about entertainment. It’s great if both you and your audience enjoy your performance. I am probably a top-notch comedian and entertainer when ranked against humans. Against my own kind, well… I’m the only one of my kind. Shut the **** up about me being the only pokemon that can actually communicate with humans without some interpreter or you’ll get a fist in your mouth and a foot up your ***. It’s that simple. Back to my second sentence in this paragraph. It’s horrible when neither you nor your audience.

    I enjoy entertaining kids and adults. They’re fun. If Rinoa hadn’t come across me I think I would have been a great performer and went to live a glamourous life and maybe even get to Pokewood(This world’s version of Hollywood. Duh). What the heck. But old prunes are borrring, zeusless, idiotic, loserrrish, l4mZ0r(lame in leetspeak, also known as 1337sp34k. Don’t ask me why), stupid, just plain UNfashionable. What the ****, I have to play these stupid Chinese instruments. Worst part, I didn’t even know how to play. The prunes would have given me the finger if they actually knew about it, ‘cause the music was horrible. And it was part of my daily schedule. Damn. Rinoa had better wake up soon or I’d bash her up so that she does.

    We are only 30 metres away from the Pewter City Gym! God! Wake up Rinoa! Save me from the prunes of doom! And the ****ing medical smell! Get us out of this stupid hospital, dammit!

    :::Omninesence:::

    Felix’s erhu(the instrument he was playing right then) snapped(It was made of wood and whale whiskers(or whatever you call them)). The old men and women, disgusted with his performance, left the scene. Visibly angry, the little guy went to the room, incredibly outraged that he had to go as low down as to make some stupid ****ing Chinese music to keep those pruned suckers happy. Unable to reach the doorknob(like always), he made a huge racquet(pardon the pun) and waited for a nurse to open the door for him.

    :::Rinoa:::

    I heard such a loud noise that I became conscious instantly. My hands automatically shot to my ears to filter out the noise. When it finally stopped, the door opened and a nurse said, “Alright now, get in. Next time just ask at the counter.”

    Just as the door was about to close I said, “Excuse me? What’s wrong with me?” My voice creaked like an unoiled hinge. I cleared my throat.

    The reply came, “Taking a Hyper Beam to the chest hurts, girl. But you can be discharged if you want to.”

    “Discharged?” I got a shock. “Aren’t I dead?”

    “If you were dead what would you be doing here?”

    I didn’t have time to answer before Felix literally and practically hammered the fact that I wasn’t dead into my brain. After that, he released Chick and Speary. The three of us were hugging each other while Felix puked into the toilet bowl in the toilet in the room.

    Half an hour later, I was out of the hospital(with my own clothes back on, patched a bit here and there. Apparently my clothes had tons of holes in it including one big one where the hyper beam hit me. You thought the hospital was gonna give me clothes? Fat hope.) and Felix was giving me background research on the gym leader(on his bloody signboard of course, what the hell did you expect? Gimme 1000 pages of research to read? God, I’ve got better things to do), what type of Pokemon he used(rock) and demonstrating that he could either smash a rock like hammer bashing egg or slice through rock like chopper through meat, thus showing his readiness to rumble(whatta showoff). Chick had Double Kick, a fighting move that could beat through the rock type pokemon. Unfortunately I had to leave Speary out, since she didn’t have a single anti-rock move. With these preparations, I headed to the gym. The heavy steel double doors were no obstacle as I kicked them open.

    Inside was a battlefield, rocks strewn all around. The grown over-30-year-old man dashed out of the door on the other side in the nude, surprised at the sudden sound. Evidently he was busy changing, and in his haste he just ran out without considering the fact that the visitor could be a girl. Male chauvinistic pig. Sexist. Whatever. I spun around quickly, not willing to allow my innocent mind to be exposed to such immorality.

    “What?” he said. I couldn’t see him anyway. I wasn’t going to look at him unless he put some clothes on.

    “I’m here to challenge you,” came my reply, cold truly, despite my back facing him and my embarrassment.

    “Just fight my friend first while I get ready,” he replied, running in. I spun around and saw his ***. I felt like kicking it but I restrained myself

    “What!?”

    Later…

    “Sandshrew! Diglett!” the boy opposite me yelled. He was only 8. Even though I was only 2 years his senior, I felt a great satisfaction that I was older and therefore more mature than him. But thinking about this makes me feel less mature. Hmmm. What a dilemma. The two pokemon appeared.

    “Chick. Speary,” I said, bored, calling my pokemon out of their balls(no sickness intended *Felix retches at the sickness*). Felix had gotten a deck chair from nowhere and had fallen asleep in it already. I myself felt like sleeping. This match was going to be a pushover. But I had other things to think about.

    “Double scratch!”

    “Gust. Double Kick,” I wasn’t going to take this seriously. I spent more time thinking about my match. I had to devise some way of winning without bending physically, otherwise I would feel the consequences. Consequences being pain of course, what do you think it was? You need a course on how to use your common sense if you couldn’t figure that out.

    The Diglett and his best friend Sandshrew were in deep ****. Their attacks missed because Speary airlifted Chick out of reach. Sandshrew got blown into the opposite wall and broke his back. Somehow I had a deep satisfaction watching him break his back. It was like watching my dad and I quarrelling. Suddenly I realized that I missed my parents, but I shook it off for now. This was important. The Diglett was probably pretty young, because its body components wasn’t very tough, proved by Chick’s first kick that went right through the back of his head, and the second kick that smashed his teeth right into the mouth. The two pokemon lay with severe damages on the ground. What weaklings.

    “Noooooooooooo-” the boy cried.

    “Yessss…” I interrupted his long exclamation and yawned at the same time.

    “oooooooooooo! Sandsand, Digger!” he finished crying over his pokemon’s spilt blood, stood up and said to me with gusto:

    “You’re going to pay for this!”

    I had a mind to teach him some manners, but just then his ‘best friend’ came in.

    “Daddy! She bullied me!” The effect of this simple sentence on me was another round of heartache, accompanied by tears welling up in my eyes. I could never have confided with my parents like that. Now that I looked back, I saw that I was a independent person, but to the point that I had neglected my parents and my surroundings. Have I ever thought about how they felt.

    Just then a tap on my shoulder from someone that was supposed to be lying in a deckchair taking a nap prompted me to cast my thoughts aside and wipe my tears away. The lousy referee was announcing the rules. I didn’t care. 3 pokemon for each side. First one to run out loses. No switching allowed unless any pokemon was knocked out. Both sides can switch pokemon during that time. This was gonna be a pushover.

    “Geodude!”

    “Chick!”

    The pokemon looked at each other, sizing up the opponent.

    “Rock throw!”

    “Double kick!”

    Chick took a run and executed a jumpkick out of the Matrix that took her halfway across the field, bashing out the rocks that flew her way and kicking the Geodude’s face. She used the second kick to kick the Geodude’s face again to launch her into the air and land back where she started. Chick had hit the pile of rock in the eyes. It was now blundering around.

    “Double kick!”

    Chick leapt into a mid air flip that would make her feet beat the little guy in the face. Just as she was about to land, the reply came, “Rock slide!”

    Nice move. He wasn’t aiming for Chick, but for me. If he managed to knock Felix out and smash Speary’s pokeball, victory was in the bag. Unfortunately it didn’t work for me. Felix was dicing the rocks like onions and I didn’t have to move my injured body. So much for good skills.

    By the time the rock slide ended Chick had already beat the hell out of the Geodude. The game was up.

    “Return,” Brock said weakly. I merely gestured, and Felix ran in and Chick ran out.

    “Onix!”

    :::Felix:::

    That huge rock snake loomed over a 0.6 m tall yellow pokemon. Any pokemon in that position would have run out immediately. But not the best of the best, the coolest of the cool, the toughest of the tough, the pwner of the pwners, the smartest of the smart, the strongest of the strong, the cutest of the cute, the most egoistic among the egoistic! ME! I know it’s self praise, but you know what? It’s true, it’s true!

    “Iron tail!” The attack went far ‘n wide as I used Rollout to get closer to him.

    “Iron tail!” Rinoa’s sharp voice reached my ears and I did so dutifully. I turned on my side, stuck out my tail and continued spinning, clockwise vertically to the ground. Right then I looked like a severely modified Beyblade(illegally too). I went for his tail(actually I count that as 5 blocks of his body out of 12) before he could lift it from the ground and sliced ‘n diced it like onions and garlics and gingers. You want some? Come get some. But it’s rock, so don’t blame me if your teeth break.

    “Wrap!” The severed tail couldn’t reach me as I spun out of reach and stood up. Brock was in a state of shock. “Get up, Onix!” was all he could say. Onix was flat on the ground and trying in vain to stand up from trying to reach me

    “Iron tail!” Rinoa’s voice said to me clearly in my mind as she stared at Brock, but I could tell she was using her powers to cheat. Ah. Bad girl. Using her powers for her own selfish desires. I obeyed anyway. I wouldn’t get my Pikachu blend pokechow if I didn’t(yes yes, bribery, I know).

    I decided to put the guy out of his misery. He had blue liquid oozing from his new rear end and blue liquid was all over the floor from his diced up parts. Hardening my tail and putting on a N95 mask, I set to work on the most detailed and extensive butchering and dicing job ever done in the world. When I was done, it was like Onix had never come save for rocks strewn all ovarrr(couldn’t resist) the floor and blue liquid all ovarrr(Shoot! Again!) the place.

    “Return…” Brock looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He looked like what he was right now: The very image of patheticism. I would have laughed at him if I were Rinoa. A girl just humiliated him twice in a day, and a proper cap off was to have Rinoa laugh at him. But she didn’t(I felt like whacking her in the face for passing up such a good opportunity). Instead she stood still with a calm, self-confident smile on her face. Hell she deserved to be whacked.

    “Forretress!” His choice shocked the two of us. He was supposed to specialize in rock, but now he was going out of his area of expertise. Hmmm… I wonder what the **** he’s up to.

    :::Rinoa:::

    I could sense Felix’s thoughts and I knew that he was wondering why Brock wasn’t using another rock type pokemon. The answer was simple: Using another rock type pokemon would lead to a quick defeat by dicing. Hence the importance of using another type. Steel type pokemon were around the same as rock pokemon, but with less weaknesses but not many pokemon had a weakness to Steel type attacks. I was betting my health that the Forretress definitely had a powerful ground or rock offensive move. He wouldn’t use it unless it had a rock type attack anyway. I ordered Chick in and Felix out. If I could score an Ember before Forretress attacked this one was over.

    “Ember!” I didn’t waste time.

    “Rock slide!”

    Uh-oh. Wrong move.

    Rocks began to rain like hail and though Felix did another good butchering job to protect me, Chick was doused by them and crushed to oblivion. I could hear my dear Torchic’s cries as she got bashed up by the rocks.

    “Chick!” I yelled, worried for my pokemon. Chick was down already. She had stopped crying. There was a pile of rocks on the ground where Chick lay. I silently returned her to her pokeball. Brock had planned this well. Very well. I should have just gone for a Double Kick but I overlooked that fact and thinking that Ember would do more damage, I had used the wrong move. Time for a test run.

    “Speary!” I knew full well that Speary was being sent to her doom, but I couldn’t use my ace. Not now.

    “Rock slide,” Brock said in a singsong tone. He thought he was going to push me over. Never. Impossible. If he only had Rock slide I could smash that steel crap to pieces easily. Time for my trump card.

    I made the switch within a second and now the rocks headed for a familiar yellow mouse.

    The game was in the bag.

    :::Felix:::

    Hell no. That guy thinks that a shower of rocks could kill me? Fat hope. I climbed up using the rocks as stepping stones for fun. When the attack ended, I instantly entered attack mode and dashed for the guy(or gal if you please). Rinoa used her powers to give orders. She was probably thinking about thinking. Humans are so lame.

    “Agility,” a voice echoed in my mind. I used the attack and Forretress could only watch as his attacks were all evaded. Finally Brock had had enough.

    “THAT’S IT! FORRETRESS, EARTHQUAKE!”

    Oh ****! ****! Damn! That ****er got smart!

    The ground started vibrating and before long I was suffering damage. The attack was taking its toll on my health. Rinoa was trying to keep her balance so that she wouldn’t hurt her back. I was on my own.

    Time for my own strategy.

    I rolled onto my tail and pushed. I flew into the air. I’m flying! Haha! Now read very carefully.

    I had poised myself on a 80 degree angle before launching myself into the air. If all went well I would kick the rustbucket’s face and put a few dents in it and put it out of commission. I now I could foresee one problem.

    I pushed myself too lightly. I was going to hit that hunk of scrap metal tail on. This was my only and last chance. If I didn’t turn that guy into crap we would lose. I could feel my body reaching its physical limits. If I went any further I would transform and reveal myself, of which my body was not ready for yet. I didn’t have enough energy. If I did that I would probably kill myself. Hang on, what was I saying? Why did I say that? Weird.

    I began to descend. I hardened my tail and waited for the hit. I crossed my fingers and tried to pump every single inch of muscle and energy into the tail to put that pile of **** on the ground and make Brock grovel at Rinoa’s feet. Now that would be fun.

    Suddenly my tail felt like it was on fire. If I was on the ground I would be running around like my *** was on fire. Wait a minute… Don’t tell me my *** is really on fire?

    :::Rinoa:::

    I watched as Felix’s flaming tail cut that *****’s head off(actually cut that ***** into half). Brock sank to the ground as his pokemon lay steaming on the ground. A plate of diced and dented pokemon was on Brock’s menu, topped with fried Forretress, served by yours truly.

    Later…

    I toyed around with the badge in my hand. I flipped it like a coin and tossed it into the air and caught it. The light from the setting sun hit it and it sone like a beacon. While I was admiring my new badge, Felix was eating a box of Pikachu-blend Pokechow as tea. This was to appease him, as the hospital had called to say that I should stay there until my body had fully recovered. Chick had to recover from her fractures(caused by all the rocks crushing her) too. I decided to stay for the benefit on Chick and I. The only one not happy about that was Felix. I sighed and walked towards the hospital to lie in bed to rest my body.

    :::Omninesence:::

    A figure ran across the street and ran into Rinoa, sending the 10-year-old sprawling. The badge flew out of her hand, and Felix caught in his pokechow box and took it out. Rinoa began to get to her feet slowly and painfully, but before she did the figure stopped and pulled her to her feet. It was a boy around her age.

    “Are you okay?” he asked her.

    “Yeah,” she said, studying his features. His blond hair was spiked and his piercing grey eyes studied her carefully. Somehow there was an aura of mysteriousness around him, and his eyes made her feel afraid of him but still liking him at the same time. He was gentlemanly and amiable. She thought that if she were to marry someone it would be someone like him but he himself would be best.

    “What’s your name?” he suddenly asked.

    “Rinoa. What’s yours?” In a moment she was looking down. She didn’t want the boy to see she was blushing. Her heart felt like a sledgehammer against her chest. What could I be feeling? Rinoa thought.

    “Serge. Where’re you going? I’ll give you a lift.”

    She allowed him to give her a lift on his Arcanine(which had been standing beside him all along). When he had left the hospital and she was safely back in bed, having bathed and changed her clothes, she began to think of the boy. Meanwhile Felix had stolen her trainer card to get more boxes of pokechow for dinner.

    Typical him.
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 13th January 2006 at 7:50 AM.
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

  21. #21
    Shiny_deoxys Guest

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    Well well well.
    I really enjoyed this one. I think that we are starting to see what the first part of the story was about, the one with the Giga Explosion and such. It was funny to see Brock so pitifully beaten. It also seems like Brock finally found a woman, something he has been looking for for a looooooooooong time. I love your book, keep it up.

  22. #22
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    Awesome. George the slightly Drunk Pikachu rocks! He wiped the floor with Onix and Forretress. Keep it up. It's funny and the new guy is either called Gary, Green Blue or Squall.(Or possibly the guy who turned on them in FF8, his name evades me, because I don't like him)

    I still think it's Frank the Nutty Pikachu.

    Description, good. Length, Good. Humour, Off the scales! Seriosly, this is funnier than xXSaberXx's CoF.

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........ ......

    If I say what I'm thinking S.F. will set Rayquaza on me....

    D*** straight I will, you petty little...

    We all hate Jack, so stop ranting S.F. And next time, can Amidamaru join in?

    Sure your Absol can Cina, and if Ricardo the short and fat pikachu wants to help kick Jack's butt, he can as well.
    Pair Up: Shadowfaith, mess with her, mess with me.
    Old Name: Shiny Flygon

    Evidently, I'm back.

  23. #23
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    Alright, basic premise of the story is:
    1) Over-spamming of vulgarities
    2) Certain attempts at humour
    3) Pikachu...
    4) Pwnage of all enemies.
    5) Pikachu...

    Honestly, just so you know, Red is the most powerful trainer in the pokemon world. Sheesh. You pwned him.
    At least give him a proper development stage so that we can rest with the fact that there is a freaking powerful !Pikachu! (WHAT?!) that does not start off being more than able to defeat a level 100 Gyrados. Because that's what Red's Gyrados is. Level 100.
    While I do admit that some people will get quite a laugh from it, you can rest assured that it will wear thin by Chapter 20. Find new means of creating jokes as opposed to spamming vulgarities, pokemon abuse and lame puns. 1337 will not get you very far either just so you know.

    Make your trainer fit her history, or at least in time make her do so. Having a Mewtwo powered Pikachu and still being an idiot? Bleagh.

    Alright, less on your stupidity and more on your writing. For a first, having a person who is a tortured, powerful, child of a main character is just not right. The fact that she also personally knows Red, Yellow, Green, probably Blue and every other manga character just screams Sue all over. Plus, a broken back SHOULD very well leave you paralysed waist down.
    I mean, if it was a joke device it would be alright, but as it is, it is not. Thus I believe that your writing was screwed up from the beginning.

    Oh well, you can always improve, and there is plenty of space to do so in the future. Oh, and since I know you personally, let's just advice you: Make the evolution method a little more complicated than the King's Rock. Slowbro already has that.

    The Thumbs: Somewhere in the middle (Lowered by the fact that your main villian is called Maniac 13astard...)
    Last edited by skiboydoggy; 12th August 2005 at 6:08 PM.

  24. #24
    Join Date
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    Ski just stop the bloody Pikachu discrimination. And stop spilling the beans for god's sake! You're ruining my fic! *Felix attempts strangulation before a Stream of Profanity is unleashed* We shall talk at school n00b(P.S. Choco Love is funny. I am attempting to be funnier. Live with it.).

    Sorry for above paragraph. Ski is someone I know personally and I get abbuse because I like Pikachus. He goes for ubers(eg. Dragonite Metagross Tyrannitar etcera). Thanks for taking the time to read and post Shiny_Deoxys(For a little trivia there's someone with the name Shiny Deoxys if I'm not wrong. Now to figure out how not to mix these two up) and Shiny Flygon(Great! Another cryptic post! Whoopie! [/ISnotBEINGsarcasticWITHINbracket]). I guess I'm gonna post the next chapter through edit. It's gonna be big(duh) so I don't need to double post anyway.

    P.S. Typing in the dark is very hard especially with an outdated Windows 95 computer and simple day-use keyboard and mouse that should have been smashed, stomped on and turned into ashes years ago.
    ~Words of wisdom by Felix_the_mutant_Pikachu
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

  25. #25
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    I don't care, I'm gonna double post because I'm feeling very rebellious today, so...Mwahahahaha. Come and catch me. Right, here we go.

    If you cannot guess what happened to Rinoa you need to think in a more mature fashion(or you are thinking innocent thoughts, which, you should have known by now, are not used very much in this story). You should be thinking evil thoughts. Eeeeeeeeevil thoughts(Okay not that evil. Think a bit more mature?). Don’t knock yourself out.

    Chapter 8
    -Brendan-

    :::Rinoa:::

    After I had gotten over thinking about Serge, I began to think about something else. It nagged at the corners at my mind.

    It was Felix’s flaming tail.

    At the critical moment he had unleashed that move, yet after the match when I asked him to use the attack he had no idea how to(Normal ones can’t, Pikachus do not possess powers that make their tail burn like a Charmander’s). That was definitely true. How could he escape my mental interrogation? I could probe into the very thoughts of his mind easily, even from a distance(when he needed to take a **** I could still interrogate him from the bed). That was one big unsolved mystery.

    I had stayed in the hospital for a week, and I found out that a man had dropped me off at the hospital in the dead of the night. The nurse who was at the counter that day couldn’t remember the person’s appearance. The weird part was that the nurse was known for good memory and could easily remember things she had seen years and years ago. Even the cameras did not record anything about him. The mysteriously blacked out for 20 minutes or so, which was the amount of time the man spent there. I inferred that he didn’t want anyone to know about him. He must have his reasons, I thought to myself.

    I was taking my daily morning walk around town. I was heading for the museum like I always did to see if there was anything new. My chest was much better now, after taking a steroid that multiplied the speed at which cells divided over some time. It helped my back recover faster due to faster cell division to replace my dead cells. The side effects were incredible speed of growth. It didn’t work out the way I wanted it to(I didn’t grow any taller), but my hair grew a lot longer. I trimmed my fringe slightly, and the hair at the back was tied into a ponytail. I was wearing a shirt and a pair of shorts. My parents wouldn’t be able to recognize me if they saw me now(In fact she would definitely get a stroke).

    I entered through the back gate. In itself it was a security device. The creak it emitted could wake the dead faster than Hilliam Wung(Do not hit me for this. Plus I’m a girl and chances are if you are my age I can kick your *** so hard you’ll kiss the moon. So there [Note by Felix: She also has a knack for misspelling and mixing up words]). Felix was doing menial labour to get more Pikachu blend Pokechow. At that particular moment he passed by holding a small piece of rectangular wood like a battering ram. As he passed by he flashed the finger. I ignored him and walked further in, remembering to shut the gate behind me(Again the gate creaked in the same way). I walked up to a door in the back of the building. The infamous back door. I had unlimited access what with talk my slaughtering Brock’s pokemon all over town. I flung it open. Of course it was huge news that I was leaving soon, but there was something new coming in today. Apparently it was a fossil. I decided to check it out for fun.

    The minute I walked in, I didn’t need to ask where it was. Immediately I was shoved towards the fossil. That was when I saw a small lump of something yellow. I overheard a scientist saying, “-a great fossil it is! Look, the shine of the amber-!” Great? It looked really uninteresting. Then I overheard something else.

    “-heard there’s a research lab on Cinnabar that can revive fossils. There’s gonna be a lot of people entering. The winner gets to bring the amber to Cinnabar and revive and keep the result!” Some scientist talking animatedly to his colleague.

    “I bet that kid wins-!” His colleague. I had no doubt he was talking about me. Heck, bring it to Cinnabar? That was simple. I’ll go for it. I registered within minutes and spent the rest of the morning training(Not too strenuous though).

    That afternoon I wasted half of it razoring through everyone with Iron Tail, Razor Wind, Double Kick, Peck, Wing Attack and other assorted moves. Before long I was qualified for the finals, and half the time through the entire I was sleepwalking. The half of the time was in battle. I felt like yawning. Stupid people. Just give up and you wouldn’t have your pokemon diced like Brock’s. Brock was a pushover. Fighting these people was like a Dragonite wasting time to squish a Magikarp. Yawn.

    “Will the finalists please report to the arena at once!” A voice blared out of a loudspeaker above a bench all of us were dozing on. Time to go. I ran to the arena. I had expected a pushover. I got a nasty surprise in return.

    I walked onto the stage and awaited my opponent. The stage consisted of a raised, square platform with markings for each trainer to stand in. Felix carried a baseball bat. Lately he had taken to batting opponents away. Rules state that once a pokemon lands outside an arena it loses. I guess he wasn’t going to waste energy and muscle power beating up some miserable pokemon when he could just score a home run with them. Sheesh.

    My opponent arrived. My jaw dropped in shock. My pokemon gaped at me. All eyes were on me.

    Brendan Birch!

    Dammit! This was going to be hard. I mean, only a trainer of considerable ability should be able to raise a Dragonite! And also give it away like an old toy. Felix swapped out the baseball bat in favour of a loaded 44. God knows how he got ahold of one. I commanded him to put the darn thing away. He did. Now he took out a bamboo pole that reached up to my hips. Hmm. I wonder what he would do with it. I began to think of the countless possibilities…

    “Hi Rinoa!” that fool greeted me, interrupting my train of thought.

    “What are you doing here?” I asked. Better to know. I could exploit any weakness he had.

    He didn’t get to answer though; the match started just then.

    “Kipper!” A Mudkip raced out.

    “Felix!” I was gonna screw that water type pokemon badly. One zap would put it out of commission.

    “Water Gun,” he said with lazy confidence. That was my trademark. And that ******* dared steal it.

    “Thunderbolt! Show no mercy!” I yelled. He was so gonna pay for taking my trademark.

    “Change attack. Mud Shot,” he replied. I quickly ordered Felix to instead do whatever he wanted.

    His Water Gun was way off and it suddenly ended. Now Felix had to deal with the new Mud Shot. How annoying. But he just spun the pole. At the end he was unharmed, but the rest of us were spattered with mud(meaning me, Chick and Speary). Yuck. Next he ran and delivered a hard blow with the stick on that Mudkip’s head while it was reloading. Pathetic.

    “Pathetic!” he yelled back. What!? That ******* cheeked me!? He was so gonna pay.

    Just then Felix bounced and landed on the ground. “Stupid water/ground *******,” he wrote, “conjured a Light Screen from out of nowhere.” I agreed with him for once.

    “Earthquake!” Brendan was taking this up a notch now. I was gonna show him.

    “Dice that pile of blue crap!” I yelled.

    :::Felix:::

    The following is a display of superior acrobatics.
    1. I planted the pole into the ground
    2. I leapt to the top.
    3. I grasped the top of the pole and began hopping with it.
    4. After I gauged the distance, I leapt.
    5. After performing a variety of aerial stunts, I bring my Iron Tail onto that loser’s head.
    6. Such is the way.

    :::Rinoa:::

    Brendan’s Mudkip’s head got sliced into half anyway. Brendan was beaming even though he just lost a pokemon.

    “Excellent. William!” he said. Man, he was a glutton for punishment. He was so dead.

    A male Nidoran emerged. I never bother going into details but there was something special about this guy. He looked like his lifelong ambition was to kill, steal and plunder. Sheesh. I got Speary to get out and do him in. I could tell she was excited. I just wanted to beat the living crap out of Brendan. Well, time to rock.

    “Horn Attack,” he said and yawned. He actually dared yawn in front of me. This ******* was dead.

    That Nidoran came head on. I issued a command via… I dunno, brainwaves? Speary jumped on the guy’s back and began stomping on it like nuts. Fury attack, except using legs. Now I yawned. A huge yawn. Brendan didn’t like me doing that of course, you could see his face. The Nidoran was on a rampage, trying to shake the pesky Spearow off.

    “Rinoa, is that the best you can do?” he asked, apparently bored.

    “Shut up and concentrate!” I snapped back at him.

    “Rollout,” Brendan gave a command.

    Nidoran began to spin. I ordered Speary to get off silently. The Nidoran spun round and round. I ordered her to tail the ball of purple as close as possible. Soon the little guy got tired of spinning that he stopped.

    “Drill Peck!” I ordered as a finishing move.

    “Roll backwards,” Brendan said, s******ing like it was a joke.

    Speary was undoubtly squished under Nidoran. I had lost my first pokemon.

    Without a second thought I ordered Chick out and withdrew Speary. I wanted revenge.

    “Nidoran, Earthquake,” Brendan said lazily.

    The ground rumbled. Ordinarily Chick would have been hit by the attack. But with all the training flying lessons Speary had given her Chick flapped hard and she managed to hover above the ground. Felix was jumping like a kangaroo. I got shoved off the arena by the attack.

    “Argh!” I said as I hit the ground and rolled. The audience were trying not to fall over too, so I took the opportunity to scramble back on the arena. That pesky Nidoran was still bashing the ground with his foot. Yawn. Now to end this **** with a **** you and have a nice day, in Felix’s words.

    “Flamethrower!” I yelled. Chick obeyed and shot a huge flame at the Nidoran. It blasted at the pile of purple crap but it rolled out of the way anyway(hmm…that sounds like a joke). Big miss. Damn.

    “Rollout!” Brendan ordered. The spiked menace spun into a ball again and went after Chick. Right then I began to plot a way of revenge. Brendan had humiliated me enough. I would push him off the stage like he did me.

    “Jump on that idiot and use a flaming Double Kick!” I yelled. I hoped the Nidoran would lose control and run into Brendan and knock him off. The ball of purple was fast becoming barbeque in a ball. Even if the Nidoran didn’t hit Brendan he would fry to hell anyway.

    As I expected, the pokemon kept his cool and rolled around waiting for Brendan’s next command. Chick was going nuts on top of him, what with trying to balance, kick, keep up the blaze and cause damage. She was sweating like she’d been put in a sauna set at 700 degrees Celsius. The game was in the bag. Yet Brendan had a smile on his face. He probably had an ace up his sleeve. But I couldn’t figure it out. This was infuriating! Then suddenly I saw the glow. Then I knew what Brendan had been thinking all along.

    :::Brendan:::

    I took one look at the face of the brunette with a ponytail standing in front of me, and decided to end the fight. William was evolving with her pokemon on top. A white halo surrounded my pokemon. Muscles began to bulge, the horn lengthened and thickened, the limbs lengthened and thickened like the horn did. When the halo vanished, Rinoa’s mouth was wide open. I could probably stuff my fist into her mouth right then and she wouldn’t even notice. The game was over. Rinoa was incapable of speech.

    “Horn Drill,” I spoke confidently. William landed on his four feet and Rinoa’s Torchic flew into the air.

    “TOOOOORRR!” she screamed(You think I can’t differentiate pokemon gender at a glance when I have studied and made some of the most comprehensive notes on pokemon ever?) in fear. She spun a few times in the air screeching away. Rinoa could only watch as William ran forward, horn spinning and impaled the helpless Torchic on his horn. Right then, Rinoa opened her mouth and screamed.

    “CHIIIIICK!”

    :::Felix:::

    Rinoa was on the verge of tears. She was losing it. Tears streamed down her face. As for me, right then I realized how it felt for Brock’s pokemon when I diced them. I wasn’t a very happy Pikachu right then. I was gonna make their *** mine, whether they liked it or not. I bet a box of Pikachu blend pokechow not.

    I scampered up. My eyes were blazing in anger. I took the rod and prepared to wage war. The pile of spiked crap tossed my buddy aside like she was nothing. There was a bleeding hole in the middle of her body. Rinoa, who was on her knees, withdrew the pokemon. ***kicking time.

    Holding the end, I used it to poke the Nidorino, trying to make it get ****** off. It didn’t. In fact, it smiled, raised its foot and stomped. In fact I wondered if Brendan could read my mind like Rinoa. In fact, I had no time to think about that. In fact, I was gonna be thrown off the arena, resulting in my disqualification and Rinoa’s loss. In fact, at that moment Rinoa was still moping over the rest, especially Chick. In fact, I thought that she would have been healing Chick with her powers. In fact, I was on my own again.
    In fact, I was now right at the edge, having been thrown there by the Earthquake attacks. In fact I was balancing by poking the stick rapidly everywhere to steady myself. In fact, my feet hadn’t touched the ground, so I hadn’t been disqualified.

    Now let’s cut that stupid thing about “In fact” out shall we? Right then, ‘William’ charged at me. Right then, I grabbed his horn and attempted to maneuver myself into safety and push that ***hole out. Right then, I felt something sink into my groin. Right then I knew if I tried what I was thinking my genitals would be ripped and torn out of my body. Right then, we flew off stage. Right then, he let go of me. Right then, his feet touched the ground. Right then, I flipped over. Right then my feet touched the ground. Right then, it was all over.

    [/STUPIDthingABOUTrightTHEN]
    Last edited by Felix Feral Fezirix; 13th January 2006 at 7:50 AM.
    FTMP is officially dead. Those who are still interested in reading click
    here.
    Last Update: Chapter 17: Date: 6-2-2006(MM-DD-YYYY)

    "I have returned from the depths of hell to do battle with you." ~ Godot

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