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Thread: ~Inevitable~(one-shot)

  1. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
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    Bolivia - South America.
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    1,458

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    Very nice one-shot, though I think I would've understand it better if I read the latest chapters of The Legendarian Chronicles (and while we're on the subject...Write another one-shot that isn't related with your story!!! :P)

    I found one spelling error (on board-onboard) though the way it was spelled in the one-shot can also be correct. There was also a grammatical mistake that I'll show in the following example:

    You forgot the last quotation mark:
    “Humans did that. They are destroying themselves, and we do not have to prevent it.

    And that's about it in the grammatical aspect.

    I found the plot of this one-shot to be quite interesting, though the story: 'Almighty Pokemon God who hates humans because they're destroying the world' has been done before (though of course, this was done much better than most of those stories).

    I liked Lugia in this (quite believable) and his narration, but my favorite line from this one-shot doesn't come from him:
    “If we keep waging war upon the humans, then both they and we will fall in time. Why add to the inevitable suffering?”

    I found that line to be quite profound, but the best thing about it is that one could analyze it.

    Well, yeah, I had a random idea all of a sudden and just had to type it, but for LC readers, this explains why Lugia saved the Rebellion members and really has nothing whatsoever to do with the chosen eight, but Latias’s dialogue is perhaps the biggest plot hint of all time.
    Ok, now I'm really lost in the storyline... ;_;

    Good job!
    Maggots of Society: Chapter One Up!



    Twins with Sike Saner! She loves to stay in the shadows.


  2. #27
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    Elsewhere
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    2,090

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    Write another one-shot that isn't related with your story!!! :P)
    Another? I've never even done one, but I know, I know, I'm trying ^^;;;;
    I found the plot of this one-shot to be quite interesting, though the story: 'Almighty Pokemon God who hates humans because they're destroying the world' has been done before (though of course, this was done much better than most of those stories).
    Heh, yeah, I know, I've seen it done before tons. Halfway through writing it, I realized that this could possibly even be accused of ripping off of Ho-oh's personality in lilbluecorsola's fics even *hides* I did get a lot of inspiration from her but...
    Ok, now I'm really lost in the storyline... ;_;
    XP In a nutshell, you read chapter five, right? Right, okay, remember when the storm ended and Rudy told Jade how it happened and gave a vague description of Lugia? Well, everyone's been getting in a bad habit of making assumptions with hardly any facts, so if you remember the reference Lugia made to the "Chosen Eight to ally with the Legendaries" in the Prologue, people assumed the reason Lugia saved the Rebellion members was because one of them was Chosen and it drove me crazy so I wrote this to prove them wrong. =P That made no sense whatsoever did it?

    Beware, my next one-shot (assuming I don't manage the impossible and come up with an original idea for once) features characters from chapter nine. X3

    ~Chibi~


    Ever wondered what would happen if humans had the power to overthrow the Legendaries? To either use them for their own ends, or eliminate them altogether? One thing is for certain...the balance between human and Legendary is unstable.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    8/30/12: CHAPTER 7: “Into the Fire” POSTED!!!
    Chapter 8 progress: 9/12 pages


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