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  1. #1

    Default Hoenn's Legacy

    ~*Hoenn's Legacy*~

    Prologue: In the beginning, there were but four Pokémon on the peaceful planet of Earth. Mew ruled over Kanto, Jirachi governed Johto, and Deoxys was the emperor of Hoenn. And above them all, Rayquaza soared endlessly, keeping peace amongst the three sovereigns. One day, Mew, floating above the ocean that much of Earth was composed of, decided that more land above water would be a fun place to play. Deoxys and Jirachi disapproved, thinking that the three Regions were fine as is.

    Mew, the free-spirit of the three, did not agree with this dull decision, and created a new Sovereign: Groudon, the Sovereign of Earth. Mew gave Groudon tremendous power, and the desire to make more land. Groudon did as it was created to do, and walked around the Earth, raising land wherever it pleased. Deoxys and Jirachi tried to banish Groudon, but its power was greater than theirs. Combining their powers, they made a Sovereign of Water, Kyogre. Their original idea was to have the two keep each others' power in check, raising and sinking land when needed. But the two quickly developed a rivalry, and often quarreled over ideal locations for land or sea. Before long, the two declared war on each other.

    Mew, enjoying the constant shifts in land, constantly followed them, flying between geysers and volcanoes. But Jirachi and Deoxys realized the danger imposed by this war, and began mass-producing regular Pokémon. Unlike Kyogre, they gave the new Pokémon normal power. Jirachi and Deoxys gave them the opposition towards Groudon and Kyogre that blazed through themselves. The new Pokémon fought against Kyogre and Groudon, not taking sides. But the absolute power of the two raging Sovereigns overpowered the normal Pokémon. Quickly, Kyogre and Groudon captured the Pokémon, and created armies to fight against the opposition.

    Horrified at their errors, Jirachi and Deoxys flew away from Earth, leaving it to be destroyed by Kyogre and Groudon. Mew, frolicking over the summit of Mt. Moon, saw its companions departing. Only then did it realize the urgency of the situation. Desperately, it called out to Rayquaza for assistance. Rayquaza, infuriated at the actions of its three Sovereigns, banished Mew to an Island on the edge of the Earth. It gave Mew a tropical environment to entertain it while it lived out its exile there. After banishing Mew, Rayquaza turned to the current problem. It flew around Earth, lashing out at Groudon or Kyogre whenever it saw them. But whenever it subdued one, by the time it reached the other, the first victim had recovered and was attacking once more.

    Realizing it could not do this on its own, Rayquaza created three Sovereigns of its own. One formed of ice, one of metal, and one of stone. It sent the three forth into battle. But with Rayquaza's power, its own personalities had been transferred into the three warriors. As a result, they realized they would perish in the war, and established a safe haven near Rayquaza's Earth home, the Sky Pillar. It was a beautiful Utopia, formed by the elements bestowed unto the three warriors. They saved any stray pawn of Kyogre and Groudon, and adopted them into the Utopia. In time, they fashioned names for themselves. Regice, titan of ice, Registeel, titan of steel, and Regirock, titan of rock.

    One day, as the three titans began contemplating rescuing Mew, Kyogre and Groudon drew closer, hearing the news that their minions had been snatched from under their noses. Unaware of the danger, the three titans left, and re-awoke Mew. Meanwhile, Kyogre and Groudon began to destroy their Utopia, recapturing their slaves. They crushed it with rocks from the core of the earth, and shot at it with the water of the huge oceans, forging a truce in the face of a new threat. Once the Utopia had been ravaged, the two Sovereigns left, and continued their fierce war.

    When the Regis returned to their beautiful home, they found it in ruins, destroyed by the reigning Sovereigns on Earth. Enraged, they abandoned their fearful thoughts, and plunged into the war, eager for revenge upon Kyogre and Groudon. And so the story begins...


    ~Chapter One: The Capture~



    Across the land I flew, desperately trying to escape. One small attack, and Kyogre and Groudon focused their efforts upon me. Behind me, I heard crashing and roaring. Without looking back, I knew instantly that Groudon was hot on my tail. As I soared through a dense forest, the ground began rumbling. Praying to Rayquaza that this was not to be an Eruption, I darted faster, trying to get back my home. Suddenly, barely feet from me, a huge jet of water protruded from the parched earth. I stopped quickly, barely avoiding running into the water stream.

    Groudon couldn't do this, I thought. At that moment, I knew Kyogre was after me as well. My bright blue eyes flitted around frantically, looking for a break in the wall of water. Seeing no other escape, and braced myself, and jetted upwards. The wind stung my eyes, but I ignored it, flying higher and higher, hoping to reach the summit of the geyser. Finally, near a mile above Earth, I saw the water erupting into the darkening sky. I made a grand loop, and shot down back to Earth. The water ceased suddenly, and I instantly saw the hulking red figure that was Groudon. Squealing in fear, I leveled out, and went forward. Behind me, I heard Groudon roar in rage. I heard a huge sizzling noise, and stopped in spite of myself. I turned around, and saw a huge flaming X flying at me.

    My hands glowed green, and a glowing verdant orb surrounded my small body. The flame shape hit the sphere full force. The force of the impact threw me backwards. I struggled to keep the force field active against the enormous force the flames exerted. Crimson fire licked the sides of the orb, sliding from the front and off into the distance. Eventually, the flames died out, and I let the force field fade. Exhausted, I dropped to the ground. I panted hard, trying to regain the huge amount of energy that field took to make.

    The ground beneath me quaked once more, and by instinct, I flew into the air. I was too late. Serrated grey rocks jutted from the soil, and cut into my sides. I was trapped in a cage of rocks.

    The ground began quaking again, and I looked back from where I had come. Groudon was marching toward me, its great feet shaking the earth with every giant step. I reached deep inside me, fighting to find any trace of Psychic energy. My exhausted brain contacted a small bit of power, and I immediately drew it to the surface. My eyes glowed red, and I shot out that power, straining to separate the rocks. But, they would not move. At that moment, Groudon had reached me, and towered over me. Its eyes glowed a deep, midnight blue, and I instantly realized its own power had kept the rocks in place. Drained of all energy, I let my tensed legs hang limp. I looked up at Groudon wearily, awaiting my punishment.

    Groudon opened its mouth. At first, I thought it would roar. But instead, magma flew from its mouth. It streamed over me, boiling my fragile body. I screamed loudly, my vocal chords vibrating with the intensity. But, the lava filled my mouth, and I stopped. The magma scorched my mouth, but I could not open it, or I would risk more magma entering my mouth. Succumbing to the consuming heat, I blacked out. Vaguely, I felt the lava hardening around me. All I knew before losing consciousness was one thing: Groudon had caught me.

    ~Groudon~

    Staring down at the encased body, I savored my victory. Kyogre may have a type advantage over me, but with this powerful creature, I could win! I thought happily. Letting the stones surrounding the victim retreat back beneath the ground, I levitated the glowing red form. It floated lifelessly before my eyes. I smiled at the helplessness of the Pokémon.

    I stalked off, returning to the previous battlefield. Kyogre would quiver before the power of this Pokémon, I was positive of it. Though it tried desperately to capture it, I caught it first, and its awesome power is mine! Kyogre did not know it yet, but when I returned, it would be all too apparent that I now harnessed the mighty energy of Mew.



    Alright, that's the first chapter of this lengthy Fic. Please, feel free to comment on my errors, strong points, weak points, or anything else.

    ~*CB*~
    Last edited by ≈*Virulent Tsunami*≈; 15th July 2006 at 10:48 PM.
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    Hoenn's Legacy - An epic of the destruction of Hoenn, the rebuilding of it, and the second destruction. War story, rated TV-14 for Violence.


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    Someone gave me a keychain once that said "You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot." I thought it was a joke but no one else laughed

  2. #2
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    Yey! By the looks of it, I'm the first to post here. Nice name change Sheer!

    Okay, at first glance, this is a maginificent story, and something that will constantly draw me back with each passing chapter. I liked how you seem to give the impression of Mew's naivety and immaturity, and its creation of Groudon.

    Though it seems a little unbalanced to me that Kyogre, created by both Jirachi and Deoxys, has equal power to Groudon, created by just Mew. And what happened to poor little Celebi?

    You also give an impression of Mew that is far different to the ones given by most, and I commend you for your originality. But it does seem slightly weird that Mew gave Groudon more power than Mew herself possesed (don't mind the gender, I always think of Mew as a girl).

    Personally, the creation of the Sovereigns was a little bit rushed for all of them, but that can easily be fixed by descriptions in later chapters.

    The creation of the Sky Pillar by the Regis is a nice idea too. The destruction of it seemed a tiny bit rushed, but that's fine. It was a great way to plunge the Regis into the war.

    But, your chapter one is a little short. I honestly think you could have merged it with the prologue.

    Spelling and grammar is okay, though I found a few small mistakes:

    Rayquaza, infuriated at the actions of its three Sovereigns, banished Mew to an Island on the edge fot he Earth.
    Shouldn't that be of the Earth?

    I stalked off, returning to the previous battlefield. Kyogre would quiver before the power of this Pokémon. I was positive of it.
    This would be better suited as a comma, or else your sentences become a little haphazard, stopping and starting instead of flowing.

    Mew gave Groudon tremondous power, and the desire to make more land.
    Isn't that 'tremendous'?

    Horrified at their errors, Jirachi and Deoxys flew away from Earth, leaving it to be destroyed by Kyogre and Groudon.
    It might just be me, but something feels wrong with this sentence. It probably is just me, but I thought I'd mention it.

    I looked up at Groudon wearily, awaiting m punishment.
    I assume that's meant to be 'my punishment'?

    Kyogre may have a Type advantage over me, but with this powerful creature, I could win!
    I don't think type needs a captial, and there's something else. Type advantages are generally something people use, and I don't think the almighty Sovereign of Earth would worry about humans, even though I can't see anywhere in your fic that they even exist yet!

    Don't get me wrong SC (still gonna call you that, your new name will take some getting used to), this fic is brilliant. What I did, was something that I find helps me when I'm writing. When people point out my mistakes, I get slightly annoyed with myself that I missed those errors, and someone else didn't. So, I make sure I don't do the same thing again.

    Once again, a brilliant beginning to what promises to be a fabolous fic. My hat goes off to you for such a brilliant beginning.

    Joshua
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  3. #3
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    It's a really nice story so far *drools* and I also agree with what Joshua *beat me to the punch boy* had to say. I can't wait for the next chapter. Hooked me in with the nice detail.

    9 Wins / 0 Losses / 0 Ties
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    Yes, I finally post. That's pretty good. I see you took the first person idea from me way back when, and put your switching characters, like at the end of your last fic. When will the next one be up? Tomorrow? The next day? Or the next day? joshua, you don't understand SC's style. He posts it. Then he posts another subsection, and edits the first/last sub. Are you still doing this in subs, SC?
    Last edited by fhqwhgads; 12th June 2005 at 3:42 AM.

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    Very good. I loved the way you got every thing the way it was when the games began. (Mew on Faraway Island, Sky Pillar Destroyed ect.) It's very clever and I can't wait for the next episode.
    Er, twig... yum...

  6. #6

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    Joshua: Thank you for pointing out all of those errors. They're all fixed.

    Mew is always seen as carefree and innocent. I decided a serious Mew would ruin its personality.

    Kyogre is seen as having more power than Groudon normally, and easily defeating it. With the combined power of Jirachi and Deoxys, its power was actually slightly greater than Groudon's, as in the games.

    Mew did not give Groudon all of its(sorry, but I can't really place a gender on it. Although, I will have the Regis refer to each other as 'brother' sometime. Hypocrite, aren't I?) power, just a large portion of it. Groudon's mind was formed from Mew's, so it knew all of Mew's weaknesses and strengths. Therefore, it knew how it could beat her and how to drive her away. Going by that logic, had Jirachi and Deoxys tried to stop Groudon rather than create a new Sovereign, they might have succeeded, as Groudon knew nothing of their very existance. Tough lives these guys lead, huh?

    Celebi was and is the force of time. More than likely, it was not a Pokémon in the beginning, and just the actual aspect of time, until personified by Jirachi and Deoxys. Same with Lugia, it was the force of the sea until given form.

    I too thought the creation was slightly rushed. I was thinking along the lines of Mew taking a piece of magma and shaping it with its Psychic abilities, but I thought that would be rather irrelevant. However, I can Edit that in if you'd like.

    I thought that demolition was a bit rushed too. But, as I never really gave a description fo what the Utopia was like, I couldn't go into detail. "For example, "Kyogre flooded the dining hall with its powerful water attacks, while Groudon shot scorching flames into the garden created by the gentle titans." Descriptive, but those features were pulled out of nowhere. Again, if you want me to add it, I could.

    Well, I was somewhat pressed for time, but I suppose that's no excuse for keeping it short. It's probably so because of the Prologue's presence and Chapter One's combination with it. When Chapter Two comes along, it will be roughly the same length as the Prologue and Chapter One combined.


    Vilexaron: Thanks. Detail never really was my strong point, so I'm happy to see you thought this part was detailed.


    Lucent Latias: Well, I have some experience writing, so I knew smilies and 00berly powerful Legendaries with no character would be a turnoff to people. That's one of the more negative remarks given to me in my thread about this Fic. So, I thank you for saying that this Fic hasn't been pre-judged by the fact that it has Legendaries in it.

    That's a writing style I use. If there's a character I don't want to reveal, I keep it blunt, handing out minute hints here and there("my bright blue eyes" was one. Mew has bright blue eyes). The point was to make it be a surprise that Groudon had caught Mew, so I'm actually glad you didn't realize it was Mew.


    Fhqwhgads: Yeah, I knew you would post.
    I'll be posting the next Chapter either tonight or tomorrow.
    I'm actually doing a different writing style by posting Chapters at a time. I think you remember in my last Fic when a reviewer told me the length was overwhelming. With that in mind, I decided my subsections were actually long enough to be considered chapters. So, from now on, it will be only Chapters.


    Theultimatebulk: Sorry, I was writing this when you posted. I'm glad you knew it was Faraway Island, as I was unsure if people would realize that. The Utopia actually wasn't the Sky Pillar, but that area where you would normally open the Regis' Chambers. I said in the Chapter, "Close to where Rayquaza'a Earth home was." My original idea was that the Sealed Chamber was to bear some presence of the Regis, which would explain why you have to go there to open their Chambers. Their tie with their previous Utopia was still present within them even when their new Chambers are opened. Just thought I'd point that out. Thanks again for your positive comments.

    ~*CB*~
    Last edited by ≈*Virulent Tsunami*≈; 12th June 2005 at 1:00 PM.
    Most Recent Works:


    Hoenn's Legacy - An epic of the destruction of Hoenn, the rebuilding of it, and the second destruction. War story, rated TV-14 for Violence.


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    Ficubes made by me.


    Someone gave me a keychain once that said "You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot." I thought it was a joke but no one else laughed

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~*Commander Blizzard*~
    Across the land I flew, desparately trying to escape. One small attack, and Kyogre and Groudon focused their efforts upon me. Behind me, I heard crashing and roaring. without looking back, I knew instantly that Groudon was hot on my tail.
    That bold w should be capital. Okay well:

    I also knew it was Faraway Island. Kinda obvious, In my opinion.

    Good side:
    Nice Plot
    Nice Description
    Nice use of first person
    Very lengthy which is a good factor
    I like the legendarys creations and so on

    Bad side:
    Joshua said all the mistakes(which you fixxed)
    Slightly rushed but I didn't mind
    I still thought Celebii should be in it but that is your choice

    A very good chapter, can't wait til the next one!

    Rating:**** 4 Stars out of a possible 5 Stars! Keep it up (I felt like reading this one becasue your my friend and I never read your last one )

  8. #8

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    Corrected, thanks TS.

    Well, maybe I should have Celebi included somewhere in this, since a few people are noticing its absence(maybe Serebii would read it then).

    Like I said, the rushed part will be fixed next Chapter. The thing is, I didn't want to post only the Prologue, as that's what I did in my last Fic. Most people based the story off of the way I wrote my Prologue, reviewed it, and never came back to review the actual story. Fearful of this Fic meeting the same fate, I posted the two simultaneously, and yet it still went over badly. But, at the time, I thought it was a good idea, as I wanted this Fic to be totally different from my old one. For that, I apologize, as the small(you're all right, I looked over it exclusively, and it seemed quite little as opposed to the Prologue) Chapter was my fault. As I said before, Chapter 2 will be the same length as these two bits combined. There's a mental limit to how much I can write at one time, I think.

    ~*CB*~
    Most Recent Works:


    Hoenn's Legacy - An epic of the destruction of Hoenn, the rebuilding of it, and the second destruction. War story, rated TV-14 for Violence.


    Skitoma - A story of love between two Wurmple unfamiliar with the concept. Rated PG for slight adult themes.


    Ficubes made by me.


    Someone gave me a keychain once that said "You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot." I thought it was a joke but no one else laughed

  9. #9
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    Thumbs up

    Can you please hurry I love your story so much it's getting very good so please don't stop.
    Last edited by Nara_Shikamaru; 15th October 2005 at 10:15 PM.

  10. #10

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    Whoa, cut down on the Smilies there, pegasus. Aside from that, I'm glad to know you like my story. I will be posting Chapter 2 tonight, as a matter of fact. And just a heads up to any readers, joshua is now betaing(fixing grammatical/spelling errors in it) this Fic, so if a Chapter doesn't arrive when I say it will, I'm most likely waiting for joshua to send back a corrected copy of the latest Chapter.

    ~*CB*~
    Most Recent Works:


    Hoenn's Legacy - An epic of the destruction of Hoenn, the rebuilding of it, and the second destruction. War story, rated TV-14 for Violence.


    Skitoma - A story of love between two Wurmple unfamiliar with the concept. Rated PG for slight adult themes.


    Ficubes made by me.


    Someone gave me a keychain once that said "You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot." I thought it was a joke but no one else laughed

  11. #11
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    it's getting very good
    Woah, slow down! It's barely even got!

  12. #12

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    ~Chapter 2: Provoked~

    ~Regirock~


    I watched Groudon march back to Lilycove Desert, levitating a small red form alongside it. It didn't take me long to recognize the distinct shape of Mew.

    It seems Groudon has captured Mew, I thought to my fellow titans. Regice stared down the mountain, watching Groudon lumber across the thick red soil. From atop Mount Pyre, it was difficult to see exactly what was happening.

    Groudon is absorbing power from Mew! Regice remarked. I quickly turned back to Groudon, and saw a glow surrounding the two. Both of the auras were blue, and the aura about Mew seemed to be growing dimmer as Groudon's grew brighter.

    Hey Regirock, catch! Registeel thought behind me. I turned around, and saw him holding an orange Egg in his silvery hands. He lobbed it at me, expecting it to shatter against my tough hide. Instead, I swiped at the green grass beneath me and dug up a bit of sod. Lifting the clump of dirt up, I blocked the Egg, while simultaneously protecting it.

    Brother, you are careless. This is a live Egg, and there is a Pokémon within it, I noted coldly to Registeel. Registeel fell backwards, making a large crash as its hefty body slammed into the thick grass.

    It's one less Pokémon in the world, does it make a difference? Registeel asked, stretching out its arms into the grass.

    Yes, it does make a difference, I thought angrily, Jirachi and Deoxys gave the normal Pokémon the ability to reproduce, and could just as easily take it away. We should preserve the species, not endanger it!

    You are too bold for your own good, brother, Registeel remarked lazily, Be happy you are related to me, as the last Pokémon that spoke with such arrogance toward me never spoke again. Deciding not comment on that, I turned back to Groudon, who was nearing Kyogre's territory.

    What has happened, brother? I inquired toward Regice.

    Well, Groudon seems to have gotten all of its use from Mew. Mew has no aura, and Groudon left it behind halfway through your argument with Registeel. We probably should help it. Regice informed me.

    Oh yes, charging recklessly down a mountain to help a clump of magma in danger of being melted of a fully-powered Groudon is a great idea. Who wants to go first? Registeel replied critically.

    Oh, come now, what's the worst that can happen? Regice queried happily.

    We get melted into a pile of Regi-Goo, Registeel thought back forcefully. Registeel hated whenever Regice became optimistic like that. It never helped, though, as Regice was jolly by nature.

    At that moment, the bright orange Egg I held in my rocky hands began glowing pure white. The internal temperature of it rose dangerously, but my thick rock hide kept the heat from searing my hands. The Egg suddenly burst, and a small Vulpix uncurled into my hands. It had one white tail, which glowed a creamy peach color. It purred contentedly, and curled up in my arms.

    I thought it was quite cute, but Registeel seemed to think otherwise.

    Well, would you look at that, Regice! Regirock has become a mother! Registeel said.

    Silence! I thought sharply, turning to Registeel. A rock shot out unexpectedly from my right hand, flying toward Registeel. It raised a hand, and caught the rock effortlessly.

    Control your temper, brother, Registeel said lazily, crushing the rock at the same time. Registeel seemed to have grown bored of lying down, and stood up. It stumbled over to Regice, but kept its distance. Regice had a horribly cold aura floating about it, capable of freezing any living thing solid instantly. The grass beneath Regice had already been frozen permanently.

    So, what is happ - Regice, what are you doing!?! Registeel began, stopping quickly as it realized Regice was firing an Ice Beam at the ground below. My gaze followed the jaggedly oscillating beam, and I saw it make contact with the dead soil in front of Groudon.

    Groudon cannot be allowed to fight Kyogre. It would win instantly with Mew's power, and the world would be drained of water under its rule, Regice replied, continuing its stream of ice. Far below, Groudon stopped in front of the gleaming wall of ice. It roared in fury, and turned to Regice. Without batting an eye, it fired a huge yellow Hyper Beam.

    Get back! I cried, and shoved Regice to the side. My hand developed a slight layer of frost upon it, but I disregarded this. I let Vulpix down on the ground, and stood in front of the oncoming beam. It hit me square on, but luckily, my endurance went unmatched in Hoenn.

    Vulpix watched me with hazel eyes, tears forming in her eyes. The beam ceased, and I laughed internally at the little impact that Hyper Beam had. Vulpix did not seem to notice. She growled angrily, and bounded down the mountain.

    Wait! Come back! I called out mentally. Vulpix's mind blocked out mine, and continued running. There was no way I could run that fast, so I was forced to watch the infant race down the hill toward Groudon. Vulpix fired a stream of flame at Groudon. The crimson flames struck Groudon right in the face. Given Groudon's power, though, it did not even notice, even as the flames invaded its eyes.

    Vulpix stood at Groudon's feet, staring up angrily at it. Groudon returned the glance, and glowered down at her. Groudon's claws began glowing.

    No! I thought frantically. Quickly, I drew a rock from the ground, and hurled it toward Groudon. I was too late. Groudon flung its claws at Vulpix, and plowed it into the ground. Even from the mountain top, I heard Vulpix's howl of agony.

    The rock slammed into Groudon's stomach seconds after it crushed Vulpix. Groudon recoiled from the impact. It roared in anger, and stared up at me. Rage surged through me. Forgetting all common sense, I jumped from the summit, and slid down to Groudon, nothing in my mind but a desire for revenge.

    ~*CB*~
    Last edited by ≈*Virulent Tsunami*≈; 14th June 2005 at 11:46 PM.
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    Hoenn's Legacy - An epic of the destruction of Hoenn, the rebuilding of it, and the second destruction. War story, rated TV-14 for Violence.


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    Someone gave me a keychain once that said "You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot." I thought it was a joke but no one else laughed

  13. #13
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    as Regice was jolly by nature.
    That was grood. I mean.... good..... and great. Great and good.
    crushed Vulpix
    Ouch! That was pretty good. I'm not used to the short chapters yet, though.

  14. #14
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    wow this is a good story

  15. #15

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    Fhqwhgads: Grood......Nice word. And thanks.

    Lucent Latias: Well, it is PG.
    Hm, you both have noted the length. Perhaps I should make the Chapters two-parted, as in post one half, and then post another half later.

    Well, the main point of this Chapter was to familiarize the readers with the Regis. Regice, the intelligent optimist. Regirock, the compassionate fighter. And Registeel, the pessimistic bad-arse. Going by R/S Natures, they'd be Bold, Jolly, and Impish.

    ~*CB*~
    Most Recent Works:


    Hoenn's Legacy - An epic of the destruction of Hoenn, the rebuilding of it, and the second destruction. War story, rated TV-14 for Violence.


    Skitoma - A story of love between two Wurmple unfamiliar with the concept. Rated PG for slight adult themes.


    Ficubes made by me.


    Someone gave me a keychain once that said "You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot." I thought it was a joke but no one else laughed

  16. #16
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    short chapters are good, like honey, makes them easier to read

  17. #17
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    Not bad. Not bad at all! Pretty clever, getting the regis involved in the whole Kyogre/Groudon thing. And I do think that Celebi should be incorporated into this somehow. Perhaps near Lilycove, as that's where the Celebi Glitch can occur in the games. Besides, Celebi IS the time travel Pokemon, so it could easily go back in time to the point in time where this fic takes place.

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  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~*Commander Blizzard*~
    We get melted into a pile of Regi-Goo
    Not a mistake but that line had me laughing for ages. Regi-goo lol.

    No mistake from where I stand but I liked Regirocks love for Vulpix and the others hate for it and there was a little rivalry there. It was a fair lenght and the good side in lenght because it didn't take me long to read. Awwww, but that poor Vulpix but I did like how Vulpix attacked Groudon. Very nice chapter it was. Now I also like that each chapter focus on different charecters and tere point of view and how they see it and so on. As long as you don't do Groudons versiojn of killing Vulpix. That would be eww. *shudders* But I did like it mostly it cwas quite funny at a few point like the Regi-Goo thing.

    CB I would PM a mod and edit out those smilies.

    Rating:****@ 4 and a half stars out of 5! See I didn't want to give it 4 but I thought 5 was a bit too much so almost there. PLus if I give you 4 and a half it'll make you work harder

  19. #19

    Default

    Quick X: So you're saying I should keep the chapters moderately short as they are now?

    Missingno. Master: Well, that was the point I was aiming for. Why else did I have them watching Groudon move toward Lilycove Desert(it's not really a city yet)? Because Celebi lives close by, and could help, especially as its fertile green environment being burned away by Groudon's flames.

    Torkoal Stu: Well, I thought the would be a nice touch. It is something that Registeel would say. And I see you also think the length is best as is.
    Well, I needed some incentive for Regirock to fight Groudon, and I thought that the slaughter of its friend would do the trick. I thought having it charge down and punch Groudon for no reason would be somewhat farfetch'd.
    Don't worry, I don't think I'll have Groudon's view of this part.
    Well, the smilies aren't harming anyone, even if they are annoying to some people. At least they're not part of the Fic.
    4 and a half, well, that's pretty good for just two Chapters, I think. Well, I'll work harder than to get that five-star mark.

    Last edited by ≈*Virulent Tsunami*≈; 14th June 2005 at 11:49 PM.
    Most Recent Works:


    Hoenn's Legacy - An epic of the destruction of Hoenn, the rebuilding of it, and the second destruction. War story, rated TV-14 for Violence.


    Skitoma - A story of love between two Wurmple unfamiliar with the concept. Rated PG for slight adult themes.


    Ficubes made by me.


    Someone gave me a keychain once that said "You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot." I thought it was a joke but no one else laughed

  20. #20

    Default

    Yeah okay, also Sheer(I'll call you that until I can think of a new nicname for you) can you PM me when the next chapter is up? Please *beggs* Also I'll rate the stars 5 because it will get up there one day.

  21. #21
    JoEsMhOe Guest

    Default

    I love them so far. Great work, but one question. It is going to get hard seaching through all the posts of this thread, so here it goes. After you are done, will you be putting this in a MS Word Doc. or Acrobe, for us to download and read all at once.

  22. #22

    Default

    How about this: In the first post of mine in every page, I will give links to each separate chapter, before or after that post. Would that be acceptable? Because, quite honestly, I haven't the faintest idea of how to put it into Adobe or Microsoft Word Doc.

    ~*CB*~
    Most Recent Works:


    Hoenn's Legacy - An epic of the destruction of Hoenn, the rebuilding of it, and the second destruction. War story, rated TV-14 for Violence.


    Skitoma - A story of love between two Wurmple unfamiliar with the concept. Rated PG for slight adult themes.


    Ficubes made by me.


    Someone gave me a keychain once that said "You're depriving some poor village of it's idiot." I thought it was a joke but no one else laughed

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    finland
    Posts
    162

    Default

    Letting the stones surrounded the victim
    'Letting the stones surround the victim' or something...
    Letting surrounded just doesn't sound so good.
    Otherwise the fic rulez!

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    761

    Default

    This fic is nice. Good plotline, interestingly written and short and sweet. I personally don't like long chapters. A fic should be like caviar. It should served in delicate doses and not splashed everywhere like butter. Keep up the good work.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    11,561

    Default

    Umm... SC? Your fic has a 5.00 average of 4 votes. U might want to put that in your sig. WTNCU?(Whens the next chapter up?)

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