Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 31

Thread: A Hoennshipping Fic (Rated G)

  1. #1
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default A Hoennshipping Fic (Rated G)

    Hi everyone! This is my first real fan fic ever! I hope you all like it and such!
    BTW, It's supposed to be based of the name but, the charaters in this fic might now act the way the would in the anime. (I don't watch the anime a lot anymore.)
    ~~~~~~~~~
    It was about noon in Magenta City. Magenta City was a beauitful city with lots of pink, red, and white flowers. Because of the beautiful flowers, this town was home to many girls. There were also four pokemon trainers walking around this beautiful city. One of them was named Ash Ketchum. Ash wore a dark red hat, a blue shirt with short black sleeves and a white hood, light blue jeans, blue and black shoes, and white gloves. His eyes were brown, and his hair was black. Traveling along with Ash were May, Max and Brock. May was about Ash’s height. Her eyes were sapphire blue, and her hair was shoulder length and it was brown. She wore a red shirt and a short white skirt, she also wore black shorts, her shoes were red, and she had a red bandana. She also wore a yellow fanny pack at her waist. Max was May’s younger brother, he had black hair, like Ash’s, his eyes were black, and he wore glasses, his shirt was green, and his sorts were brown, and his shoes where green and black. Brock was a little taller than Ash and May; he had brown eyes, and spiked brown hair. He wore a dark olive green shirt, his coat was short sleeved and was a dark brown color, and his pants were a light brown.

    They walked around Magenta City, stopping here and there to look at clothing, pokemon items, and other things to buy. May seemed tired.

    “Can we stop for a bit?” She moaned. “We’ve been walking for hours,”

    Ash and the others looked at her.

    “Oh come on May,” Max said staring at his sister. “We haven’t been walking that long,”

    “I wanna go sit down and rest!” May said while taking a seat on a near-by bench.

    “You’re such a complainer, May!” Max shot back, giving May a mean look.

    “Now stop you two,” Brock cut in. “We can visit the pokemon center. Just you two stop fighting for one day?”

    “Okay…” Max and May said together.

    They soon arrived at the pokemon center. Trainers were around the entrance, talking away about how many badges they had, and who they met on their journeys. Ash, May, Max, and Brock walked past the trainers, and went inside. Brock got a dreamy expression on his face, Ash looked confused, Max looked stunned, there were girls everywhere.

    “Wow, there are a lot of girls here today,” Ash said looking at a few girls talking to one another.

    “Who cares?” May mumbled as she collapsed on a chair.

    Brock stared at a girl with long pink hair and a blue miniskirt. Before he got a chance to do anything, the doors of the pokecenter opened. A boy about May’s height walked in. He wore the Hoenn colors, black and red. His shirt was long sleeved and it was red and black, his pants were completely black, except the ends of the pants. They were yellow. His shoes red and black too. Also, on his hands, he wore yellow gloves; he wore a black headband, and strapped across his back was a yellow backpack. His eyes were ruby red, and his hair was white. Everyone turned to look at him. The girl Brock was looking at had a dreamy expression on her face. She walked over to the boy. Some other girls walked over to him too.

    “Oh my gosh!” One of them said “I’ve seen you somewhere, aren’t you Brendan Birch?” The girl asked him.

    “Uh, yeah. My name’s Brendan,” He said nervously.

    The boy named Brendan was now surrounded by girls. May even got up to see what was going on.

    “I never thought I would get the chance to actually meet you!” Another girl said happily.

    Brock stared at the girls surrounding Brendan. Ash got a disgusted look on his face.

    “How is it that he has fans and I don’t?” Ash said angrily.

    “How is it that those girls are going to him instead of me?!” Brock said as he started to sob. “I actually try!”

    “Oh stop it, Brock,” Max said, “Who cares if that guy has fans or not?

    “I care!” Ash said while jumping up and down trying to see.

    “They’re not just any fans! They’re fan girls!” Brock moaned. Max walked over to Brock and stepped on Brock’s shoe. “Ow!” Brock yelped in pain.

    “Come on you two,” Max said “Lets go already.”

    Ash, Max, and Brock left the pokemon center. Brock would still crying about the white-haired boy and all the girls. After about 10 minutes, Ash stopped.

    "Where's May?" He said looking around. Max looked up.

    "Did we leave her at the pokemoncenter?" He said looking around for May.

    "Oh no! I think we did!"

    They ran back to the pokemoncenter. (Brock was still crying) They went inside. The white haired boy and his fans were gone now. Now there was only a few pokemon trainers left. Brock kept crying. Max ,with a angered look on his face, turned to Brock.

    "Will you shut up already!" Max yelled at Brock. "People are looking at us!"

    Brock stopped crying and went to sit down on a chair in a corner.

    "So, where do you think May would be?" Ash asked Max.

    “Not sure,” Max said not paying attention.

    “Max, you’re her brother!” Ash said smiling. “You know more then us about her!”

    “So?” Max said looking at Ash.

    “It’s gonna be a long day…” Ash whispered to himself as he looked out the window.


    “Dang! I didn’t know there was this many girls at Magenta City!”

    The white-haired boy named Brendan, and May were running down the street of Magenta City.

    “Me either!” May called back.

    Behind them were at least 50 girls running after Brendan and May. Just then, Brendan stopped running. May stopped too. The girls stopped and looked confused. Brendan gave them a wink and said,

    “I’m sorry ladies, but I have to go now and train my Marshomp and my Absol now.” He said say in a relaxed tone. He smiled.

    He winked again. Many of the girls gave a fan girl scream. One even fainted.

    “Now, if you could be so kind to leave me and this lovely lady alone, that would make me happy, and you like it when I’m happy.” Brendan finished.

    The girls stopped trying to get to Brendan and left, leaving Brendan and May alone.

    “Wow, I’ve never seen fans that listen before.” May said giggling.

    “Come on, I’ve got something to show you!” Brendan said while pulling May over to the exit of Magenta City.

    “Oh I can’t leave the city.” May said sadly.

    “Aww, but why?” Brendan asked May.

    “Well, my friends are probably where I am. I need to find them.” She sounded worried.

    “Ah, come on!” Brendan said smiling. “You’re one of the very few girls that treats me like a normal person, and not a famous pokemon trainer. You’re also really sweet! Please come!” He begged.

    “Oh, all right. An hour wouldn’t hurt.” May said smiling.

    “Thank you! Now let’s go!” Brendan was jumping up and down with excitement.

    Brendan lead May down into the forest. May was still worried. I don’t know about this, Brendan.” She muttered looking around the dark and creepy woods.

    “Don’t worry! You can trust me!” Brendan assured her.

    Can I really trust this boy? She thought. He’s a strange boy that I hardly know. I can’t really go around into dark forests with this kid. But, he seems really nice though. She stared at the back of Brendan’s head. He’s cute too...
    ~~~~~~~~~~
    Well, there's the first chapter!
    After you read this please post a question, comment, or a improvement!
    Last edited by Yumi Yuko; 12th October 2005 at 4:19 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    811

    Default

    Woot! A Hoennshippy!! Plz Continue!!!!!!!!

    LiveJournal
    Proudly claimed Barrett x Dorothy (Rune Factory 2)

  3. #3
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hikari_blaze
    Woot! A Hoennshippy!! Plz Continue!!!!!!!!
    Yay! First comment! I'm happy you like it! Don't worry, I'll continue! ^^

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Moscow Metro
    Posts
    1,697

    Default

    Hi, there! ^_^ I see you've finally gotten started, eh? XD I'd say you did a pretty good job. You just need to work on your descriptions; they should be just a bit more detailed. Other than that, keep it up. ^^
    ---
    *Formerly known as Commander Cody*

    Little sisters: Kana and Sequoia


    ---

  5. #5
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Commander Cody
    Hi, there! ^_^ I see you've finally gotten started, eh? XD I'd say you did a pretty good job. You just need to work on your descriptions; they should be just a bit more detailed. Other than that, keep it up. ^^
    I know. I really don't know what to think about it. I'll try fixing it a little when I can.

  6. #6
    Miss Priss Guest

    Default

    Hey Blaze! I could really picture all of Brock's crying, which was good! Haha, I bet I was that one fangirl that fainted!! But anyway, I just think you need to watch out for those typos *shakes fist at typos* and see if you can say what you need to say more grammatically correct. I dunno what I just said ?~? LOL What I'm trying to say is that maybe you jumbled up some of what you wanted to say... .. . I could be wrong *shrugs* But anyway, I think you're doing good so far. Nice!!

  7. #7
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Priss
    Hey Blaze! I could really picture all of Brock's crying, which was good! Haha, I bet I was that one fangirl that fainted!! But anyway, I just think you need to watch out for those typos *shakes fist at typos* and see if you can say what you need to say more grammatically correct. I dunno what I just said ?~? LOL What I'm trying to say is that maybe you jumbled up some of what you wanted to say... .. . I could be wrong *shrugs* But anyway, I think you're doing good so far. Nice!!
    Curse the evil typos!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    LaRousse City
    Posts
    3,431

    Default

    like i said last time........ awesome start Blaze Girl........ hope to read more of it ^_________^

    ONOMNOMNOM

    Gif Credit | Amourshipping Contestshipping | Uta☆Pri fan

    Play Shippers' Truth or Dare game with us!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    598

    Default

    Yay for hoenshipping! I wonder what's gonna happen in the woods. Anyway, keep it up and will you please read and review my fics? Thx!

    Yaynessissity
    Yaynessissity is an awesomely fun forum!


    -Clubs I Own or Co-Own-
    Brendan/Ruby club 2.0, Hamtaro club, ~Hoenn Lovers Club~

    Fictions Coming...Someday:
    Elenia: Protectors of Earth
    Shadow Quest
    Forbidden Element
    (^-title may change-^)


    My Fiction(s)
    Experiment 13A31: The Bringer of Fire
    Chapter 4 now up!



  10. #10
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivymoonrose
    Yay for hoenshipping! I wonder what's gonna happen in the woods. Anyway, keep it up and will you please read and review my fics? Thx!
    Sure! I'll try to get around to it!
    Next chapter's not coming til late next week.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Mexico 8D
    Posts
    330

    Default

    Cool chappy Blazy! All I could say is that you need some description... but pretty good! (I'm Togepicute...Well used to be)
    Click if you dare. . . O:
    [IMG]http://i5.*******.com/453axpx.jpg[/IMG]
    Little sister/best friend of: Core Unit||Spammy twins with: Virtual Headache||Paired with: Karma Dude||I claimed: core unit, Karma Dude, Virtual Headache, and Nayana||My LJ||Banner by Umi Mizuno

  12. #12
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CuTe ToGePi
    Cool chappy Blazy! All I could say is that you need some description... but pretty good! (I'm Togepicute...Well used to be)
    I try working on better description next chapter^^

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Takin' over one city at a time
    Posts
    730

    Default

    Lmao hoenn shipping fics crack me up. This is good but you need more description.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    403

    Default

    Hey, it was pretty good for the first chapter you've ever written. just try to make it longer and with more detail. Of course I need to work on that too...
    [IMG]http://i30.*******.com/2j64hl5.png[/IMG][IMG]http://i27.*******.com/11rgmty.png[/IMG]
    PM me for a tag

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Konoha, my own fantasies
    Posts
    240

    Default

    wow balze you are good i like it good chappy cant wait till the next !

    yay !! new hoenshipping fic >> you are great at writing !!

  16. #16
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ashgirlsmayandmisty
    wow balze you are good i like it good chappy cant wait till the next !

    yay !! new hoenshipping fic >> you are great at writing !!
    Thanks!
    I been having lot's of homework, so that's why the next chapter isn't up yet. I'm working on it!

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Konoha, my own fantasies
    Posts
    240

    Default

    originally posted be blaze girl
    Thanks!
    I been having lot's of homework, so that's why the next chapter isn't up yet. I'm working on it!

    oh ok its okay take your time !!=D

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    811

    Default

    Feh, homework always get in the way, don't they? But, don't worry! Take your time! Can't wait for the next one! ^^

    LiveJournal
    Proudly claimed Barrett x Dorothy (Rune Factory 2)

  19. #19
    GloryBrendan Guest

    Default

    keep it up! it's very good!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    The Scizor Palace
    Posts
    365

    Default

    Nice, BUT HURRY WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER THE SUSPENSE IS TOO HUGE!
    I liked Scizor before Scizor was cool.
    -

  21. #21
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by E4 DRAKE
    Nice, BUT HURRY WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER THE SUSPENSE IS TOO HUGE!
    I'm sorry! I've been loaded with homework every night! I have managed to do a paragraph a night!

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Konoha, my own fantasies
    Posts
    240

    Default

    dont worry blaze take your time you can update when ever you feel like it dont worry what others say ....."you'll write when you"ll write " lol anyway good job !!!

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    The Scizor Palace
    Posts
    365

    Default

    I revived this cause I can't wait for chappie #2! PLEASE HURRY! I might not be able to revive it next time. TOO MUCH SUSPENSE!
    I liked Scizor before Scizor was cool.
    -

  24. #24
    Yumi Yuko Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by E4 DRAKE
    I revived this cause I can't wait for chappie #2! PLEASE HURRY! I might not be able to revive it next time. TOO MUCH SUSPENSE!
    It's really that good?

    I've finished the 2 chapter, but it's pretty short. I'm gonna make a few edits here and there. It should be posted later tonight. I'm not sure yet.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    The Scizor Palace
    Posts
    365

    Default

    Well I LIKE IT. This is one of the few Hoennshipping fics that ISN'T discontinued.
    I liked Scizor before Scizor was cool.
    -

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •