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Thread: My first fic (contestshipping)

  1. #1
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    Default My first fic (contestshipping)

    This is my first fic ever, so there's a good chance that it will suck. Mostly rated PG because of some future chaps, but first few chappies are G (mostly).Read if you care:

    EDIT: Title(may change it later) :Beyond the Desert Sands

    Prologue

    Ash lost in the Houen league, and decided to move on.

    "Brock, which region should we head to next?" Ash asked. The loss replayed in his mind, but it was all over. Over.

    His messy black hair waved as the wind blew, and his yellow mouse compnion, Pikachu, sat on top of his red and black hat, which matched his tanned skin.


    Brock was even tanner than his friends, and his incredibly small eyes searched a booklet. He had spiky brown hair.

    "Hm, I read in a handbook that this region named Orre is in need of tough trainers to drive out an evil conspiracy. The reward is a free pass to the Mt. Battle challenge." Brock flipped the page. "Mt. Battle has 100 trainers in a row, and the winner gets-"

    Ash cut him off. "It's settled. Mt. Battle, here we come!"

    May, another one of the group turned around and shook her head, swaying her brown hair. Her blue eyes blinked angrily at her friend.

    "Ash, wait! We haven't settled anything!" May said. She turned to Brock. "Are there any contests there?"

    Brock shook his head. "Sorry, May. They do have the evil conspiracy..."

    "So I'm coming along, defeating evil, then Ash gets the free pass? Even if I get a pass, it's not like it's worth it! To me, at least..."

    "May, we could use your help," Ash said.

    May sighed. "I' ll think about it."
    * * *
    May sat at the park bench, feeling hopeless. If she went to Orre, she'd have to retire her passion for contests for a while. If she didn't go, where would she go?

    "Hey," said a familiar voice.

    May looked up to see Drew. "Hi Drew," she said quietly.

    Drew had green hair the same color as his eyes.

    "You're not your usual self today," Drew said.

    "Who asked you?"

    "Nobody did, that's obvious," Drew said, pretending to be snobby.

    May said nothing.

    "May, something's up, and I know it. Why don't you just tell me?" Drew asked, surprised that May hadn't flipped out because of his fake rude additude.

    May sighed. "My friends want me to come with them to Orre, and there are no contests there."

    "That's what most co-ordinators think," Drew said.

    May seemed really surprised. "What do you mean?"

    Drew smiled at her curious tone. "It's not like I'm going to tell you-"

    "What?" May interrupted.

    "If you come with ME to the Orre region, I can SHOW you what I mean."

    "But what will Ash and-" May began.

    Drew got up. "I'll talk to them, 'kay?" he calmly assured her.
    * * *
    "If my sis goes with you, I'm coming with you too," Max said.

    Max was May's brother. He loved to adjust his glasses to reflect light off of them, giving him a "I-know-something-look" when he did it.

    "If it's fine with Drew, it's fine by me," May said.

    Drew chuckled. "You have my approval."

    "The ferry leaves tomorrow at noon. Don't be late!" Brock and Ash waved goodbye.

    The new trio went to their hotel room. There were two bunker beds and the walls were a cheery yellow. There was also a phone.

    "Gosh it's late. Max-"

    Max had already taken off his glasses and climbed into one of the beds. "I know, it's bedtime."

    May was relieved that for once, she didn't have to remind her brother to go to bed. She untied her bandana and "waist pack" and climbed on the top of the bed opposite her brother.

    Drew didn't seem to like heights that much, so he climbed on the bed under May, after taking off his purple short-sleeved jacket. Max managed to mutter a "good night sis" before dozing off. May soon fell asleep, too, but Drew couldn't get those eyes shut. he listened to the light snoring of Max and soft breathing of May and finally fell asleep too.

    Whaddya think? Comments/crits please!
    Last edited by Xiang; 5th August 2005 at 10:22 PM. Reason: REVISED!!!^^
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    cute fic pichu gurl but i dink it seems sort of rushed but who cares i still love it^ ^

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  3. #3
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    Wow...There are many CS fanfics in SPPF now...^^
    It's okay, but just a bit short... In your next chapter/episode, maybe you should add some more description to it, so you can make it a little longer...Good effort for a first try! ^_^

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    Sweet May: Thanks, next time, I'll slow it dowm.

    Windy Night: I'm not one for describing, but I'll try harder next time.

    Thanks all!
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  5. #5
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    Oh yeah, one more thing...
    Do you have a title for your fic? If not, maybe you should try to come up with one...
    Other than that, good job! ^_^

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    no problem...... just tellin da truth like i always do............. and yea i wonder wut da title is.......... can't wait 4 ur next chapter/episode^ ^

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    I really like it! It doesn't suck, it has great potential. ^^; Although, I do agree with some of the other reviewers. It seems a bit rushed, but that's okay. Just slow things down a little, and you'll be fine. Can't wait for the next chapter! ^__^

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    Thanks everyone! I'm pretty sensetive to other people's feelings and opinions. (Hey, I'm a Ralts!) I'm afraid the title has a minor spoiler, but I'll think about whether to post or not, K? I'm working on it, as well as two other fics that have nothing to do with Pokemon and aren't good enough for anyone except my friends. ^_^'

    I never expected so many postitive replies! Once again, thanks!

    I'm working on the next chappie. I have it on tomorrow. Yay! Summer break! Whoo! I miss elementary school already...

    Thanks,
    Da lover of cute pokemon
    like pichu, togepi, ralts...

    EDIT: Ok, so maybe the title doesnt' spoil anything. :P
    Last edited by Xiang; 20th June 2005 at 12:51 AM.
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    Meh, sorry for the double post, but updates, updates, updates. Anyway, I got the next chappie done before I thought I would. Thanks for the suggestions, I have worked WAY harder on this chappie. Thanks again!

    Chapter One- Ferry Delay! Love Bicker!

    "If you are boarding this month's ferry to the Orre region, please report to the dock immediately. " Nurse Joy's voice was on the PA.

    May lazily sat up as Nurse Joy repeated her warning. She looked at the clock. It read 9:00. "Huh? But the ferry leaves at 12! Ah, must be important." She got up and climbed down off the bed. She shook Drew awake.

    "What is it, May?" He yawned.

    "Nurse Joy wants us down. Some announcement or something."

    "Should Max get shaken awake by some annoying girl too?" Drew teased.

    "Oh will you lay off!" She tied on her bandana and put on her pack and walked out the door.

    Drew snickered. "That's May alright." He put on his purple jacket and and left.
    * * *
    Nurse Joy stepped up to a podium. "We're terribly sorry for bothering you this early before the ride."

    Brock stepped up the podium as well and took her hand in his."Oh, my lovely gentle angel, you are forgiven from my very toes to my very-"

    Max stepped up and tugged Brock away by the ear, as usual. "Let's see if she can forgive YOU for that."

    Nurse Joy laughed nervously and played with the microphone a bit. "Sorry about that. Because of last night's accident, we will have to run a security check on your luggages, and that will take a while, so come around 11. Thank you!"

    A continuous ripple of muttering went through the crowd as they left out the door.

    "Max, I thought you were asleep!" May scolded.

    "When I woke up, you weren't there, and when I looked in the hallway, people where heading towards the main lobby, so I figured you'd be there," Max said defensively.

    May sighed. "No sense arguing. I wonder what the accident was."

    "No clue, but let's hope nothing bad happens to us. We should eat breakfast now, it's 9:30." Drew started for the cafeteria.
    * * *
    “Mmmm, pancakes,” Max said happily after a waitress in a frilly dress set it down on the table.

    “Well, everyone, dig in!” May announced happily. She raised her fork and stopped when she noticed Drew was sitting in his usual “arms crossed and corny attitude” look even with the pancake’s aroma wafting around him.

    “Drew, aren’t you going to eat?” May set her fork down.

    “ I don’t need to eat, I’m immortal,” he taunted.

    “You’re kidding, right?” Max said in his “annoying know-it-all voice.”

    Drew laughed as he and May picked their forks up. “You caught me.”
    * * *
    Max laughed as he lied back down on his bed. “I ate so much I can’t move!”

    May giggled with him. “Not the same here. I ate so fast we still have more than an hour to wait!”

    Drew couldn’t help but laugh too. When they all settled down and pulled themselves together, Drew asked, “So, what do you reckon we do in the meantime?”

    “We could let out our Pokemon ,” May suggested.

    Drew sent out his Roselia, Masquerain, and paused to think if Flygon would fit in the room. He sent it out anyway. It’s “antennae” barely tickled the ceiling and Drew breathed a sigh of relief.

    May tossed out her Pokeballs to release her Bulbasaur, Beautifly, Skitty, and Combusken.

    Masquerain flew up to Beautifly and blushed as it flew around in a pattern of spins and turns.

    Drew flicked his hair. “Heh, figures. “

    May looked confused. “What’s Masquerain doing?”

    Max flipped through a Pokemon book. “That’s a mating dance. Sometimes it means that the trainer’s are in love as well!” Max burst into laughter. “Ha, you and Drew! I can-ow!”
    May had angrily seized the book from her brother and whacked him on the head with it. “You made the last part up!”

    (Meanwhile, Drew calmly ignored this.)

    Max held his laughter. “Then what are those RED roses for?” He exploded this time.

    Drew tried to ignore this, but he was shaking.

    May turned bright red. She looked like she wanted to drive a dagger through his head.

    “And Drew even said it made sense!” Max whacked himself with a pillow while trying to breathe.

    May ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

    Drew grabbed Max by the arm. “Two words. J-Just two: STOP. IT.” He released the boy, shaking.

    “I think I had better leave,” Max muttered, apparently trying to stifle another chest burst. He left without a word.

    Drew knocked on the bathroom door and heard May crying. “May, can I come in?”

    “Use the key on my bed, “ sobbed a muffled voice.

    Drew climbed up the ladder and saw a key on May’s pillow. He took it and climbed back down and unlocked the door.

    May was hugging her knees as tears rolled down her face and landed on the floor. Drew sat down next to her.

    “About what Max said, I…” Drew trailed off shakily. ‘No. I can’t confess my feelings toward her. Now’s not the right time,’ Drew thought to himself.

    “Drew, I…” May trailed off in a similar way as Drew did. ‘I can’t tell him how I feel about him, what if he doesn’t love me back?’ May’s thoughts ran about in her mind. “Drew?”

    Drew looked up. “Yes?”

    “Thanks for caring enough to come in and comfort me,” May said. ‘There. Hopefully I didn’t release to much,’ she thought to herself.

    They got up and walked out of the bathroom.

    “Max, you may come in now,” May said reluctantly.

    Max slowly walked in. “Sis, Drew, I’m sorry. Now that that’s settled, it’s 10:50, so let’s get ready to go.

    Thank you, again and again and again!

    The
    Nicest
    Ralts
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  10. #10
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    its sweet and great.................... u no u should enter da Shipping Fic Contest^ ^
    can't believe u did all dis in like 1 day..............now i can't even do tat........lol.......... but great chapter

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  11. #11
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    This is really good so far and it does seem a bit rushed and Drew seemed a bit OOC in the last chapter but apart from that it's really good so far...I've said that beofre haven't I *shrugs*.Anyway update as soon as you can.
    Claiming is overrated, can be fun sometimes but others silly. I only claimed Henry Cavill as no one really knows him.

    Oh yeah and i'm paired up with the cool Chuboy.

    Claimed Henry Cavill on the Celebrity Claiming thread...he's all mine muh ha ha ha ha...^^;.

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    Sweet May: Thanks, but I don't think it's quite THAT good. After all, this IS my first fanfic. But you make me feel confident!

    MayShuuFan: Heh, at least I spent double the amount of time on that chappie! Don't worry, with each chapter, (hopefully) I'll slow down a bit more. I'm kinda forgetful (no not forgetful enough to forget about the fanfic!) and impatient. Just gotta get those ideas down before I lose 'em. I don't often see Drew in teh anime, my sis hoggs the TV, but he needs to (accidently XD)soften up sometime. I'll try my absolute best to turn him into Mr. Snobb again soon.

    Another note: I will be putting most of my effort in the contest chappies. Warning: Some of them may not make sense, but hey, DA CREATIVENESS! Sorry about that. XD

    It's going to take a while for the next chappie, sorry, I need time to think, but I'm not going to leave you here alone for a week. XD

    Thanks for being honest, it really helps!

    Pillow Head XD
    Last edited by Xiang; 20th June 2005 at 1:42 PM.
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    Wow! so many great contestshipping fanfics! YAY! This is a great and original storyline!
    In most of the stories I've read, Max isn't apart of their group! Oh and I absolutely loved the last chapter! Could you put me on the PM list? Thanks!

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    next chappie is a bit PG-ish. Thank you all!

    Chapter 2- Boat Ride! School of Luvdisc!

    May leaned on the edge of the ferry, enjoying the gentle, salty ocean wind. Gentle, small waves lapped up on the side of the boat. Wingulls and Pelippers flew about, riding the breeze. Beautifly was sitting on May's head, and watched them fly about and played with them for a while.

    Skitty was more energetic than ever because of the fresh air. Skitty cried happily as it caught one of Roselia's Petal Dance petals. It fiddled around with it until it blew away. Then it took a nap.

    Bulbasaur was admiring Flygon's impressive wings and Flygon seemed to enjoy this praise. Flygon seemed to like Combusken's toughness and watched its lightning fast kicks.

    Drew was training with his Masquerain. He was practicing an appeal. Masquerain used Bubble then followed up with Gust, blowing the bubbles away and arousing Skitty again. Another Bubble caught Beautifly's attention. Masquerain turned red and dropped to the floor as Beautifly flew over.

    Max sat on a chair next to where Drew was standing and sipped his cup of soda. "Drew, it's a nice day, you should be relaxing."

    "Especially when I could be improving my skills?" Drew picked Masquerain and fanned it until it became conscious again.

    Max gave him a confused look. "But there aren't any contests in the Orre region.”

    Drew snickered. “You’ll see.”

    Max shrugged and walked over next to his sister. He saw a pink thing make a splash. “Huh?”

    May was watching the Wingull play tag. The biggest chased the younger siblings around. “What is it, bro?”

    “I thought I saw something.” Max scratched his head. “I must be seeing things-whoa!”

    The boat rocked around. A sailor rushed over. “Everybody, return to your cabins immediately!”

    The boat lurched again. Drew and May recalled their Pokemon. Everybody frantically went inside, including the trio.
    “How could there be a storm? The sky was perfectly clear!” May complained, drying her dripping bandana.

    Max nodded his head. ”That is strange. There was no sign of it coming!” He took off his splattered glasses and wiped them with his shirt.

    There were a lot of knocks at the door as Drew took off his jacket. Masato answered it, only to be trampled by a crowd of fan girls.

    They crowded around Drew. “We heard you were on this ferry!” said a girl with blue hair in a ponytail. Drew grimaced.

    They all wanted his autograph. A girl with a headband holding back some blonde hair noticed and pointed at May. “You in the red! What are you doing in Drew’s bedroom?”

    May was infuriated. “I travel with him!”

    The girls gasped. “You’re so lucky!”

    One girl started crying. “Drew already has a girlfriend!”

    May had enough. She was breathing hard. “GET. OUT. OF. OUR. ROOM.”
    * * *
    May sighed, exhausted after chasing every girl out, when there was another knock at the door and some excited whispering.

    Max answered it again, but wasn’t trampled this time. He stepped out of the way as a crowd of fan boys crowded around May. It was May’s turn. She sweatdropped.

    One exclaimed how pretty she was and got dragged out the room by Max’s “De-Brock-inating”.

    One of the boys noticed Drew and pointed at him. “Hey, punk, what are you doing in May’s room?”

    “You mean: OUR room,” Drew said, annoyed.

    “What?!” The boy looked at May. “You already have a boyfriend?”

    “He’s not my boyfriend,” she said angrily through gritted teeth.

    Drew got up and threw a Pokeball. “Masquerain, use gust to blow these losers out of our room!”

    May threw a Pokeball as well. “Beautifly, use whirlwird!”

    The two bug Pokemon flew next to each other and flapped their wings to blow the boys out the door.

    May collapsed on the bed. “I’m all worn out. Max, can you lock the door?”

    Max obeyed and sat on his bed too. He looked out the “window” and saw sun rays penetrating through the water’s surface, shining like beams of light. “Hey, sis, it’s sunny out again!”
    * * *
    “Ah, it feels good to be out again!” May stretched and looked at the horizon.

    Splash. May reverted her gaze to the edge of the boat and saw a Luvdisc. “Max, Drew, I found a Luvdisc!” Another Luvdisc surfaced. Then another and another. In a few seconds, May, Drew and Max saw what appeared to be a school of Luvdisc.

    One particular Luvdisc was bigger than the others. It somehow “jumped” onto the boat and the others followed.

    Masquerain and Beautifly were “standing” on the same chair, talking. Beautifly seemed to enjoy this conversation, while Masquerain was blushing.

    The Luvdisc danced around the chair. Beautifly blushed too.

    May didn’t seem to understand. “What are the Luvdisc doing?”

    Max did his “shine-glasses’” and explained. “Luvdisc can sense love in between a couple and will dance around them if it can sense something going on in between them. Works with humans too, “Max hinted.

    May chose to ignore the hint.

    “Also, if anybody interferes with the love, then Luvdisc will and would attack them.”

    The Luvdisc started hopping towards May. She panicked and ran away. They followed her and surrounded her so she was trapped. Then they circled around Drew. Drew pretended to be reading.

    Max snickered.

    When the Luvdisc settled down and left, May fell on the ground. “What is happening to me today?”

    The captain’s voice went on the PA. “We will arrive at Phenac City tomorrow. Thank you for your cooperation.”

    “Looks like another day to wait,” May sighed.

    Sorry for the poor ending, see you soon! *goes to work on next chappie*

    -Ralts

    EDIT: If you want to be on the PM list, tell me, ok? Thanks AGAIN!
    PM List:
    MiniMinun
    Anyone else?
    Last edited by Xiang; 20th June 2005 at 4:07 PM.
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    YAY! quick update! I give your the fastest updater award! Nice chappie! it was wonderful! (especially the fanboy/girls part lol!)

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    MiniMinun: thanks! I liked that part too!

    next chappie: I'm still thinking about it. it'll be up by tomorrow. contains minor violence but never any swearing. Also, if you have Pokemon Colosseum, the next chappie will make better sense.

    -Ralts
    Last edited by Xiang; 20th June 2005 at 5:04 PM.
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  17. #17
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    Ooooh can I be on the PM list please...it would be really useful then keep on looking to see if I've got any reviews. Anyway I guessed about what was going to happen after reading the title...*snickers* and I was basically right.Anyway update soon...oh yeah and the fan boys/girls bit was funny.
    Claiming is overrated, can be fun sometimes but others silly. I only claimed Henry Cavill as no one really knows him.

    Oh yeah and i'm paired up with the cool Chuboy.

    Claimed Henry Cavill on the Celebrity Claiming thread...he's all mine muh ha ha ha ha...^^;.

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    PM List:
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    MayShuuFan

    MayShuuFan: I think everybody's gonna love that part! Chapter 3's gonna be the longest chappie so far. I stink at describing (SPOILER) --> battles (end spoiler) so it's gonna take a while for this PG-rated chappie to come up. Probably way later today.

    EDIT: Yay, the next chappie is up! Rated PG for minor violence.

    Chapter 3: Phenac City! Team Snagem Attack!

    May stood in the same spot she had yesterday, on the lookout for land. She spotted a glittering city in the middle of ongoing blank desert. Strangely enough, the roads and buildings were yellow or white, but in between the buildings and roads were carved in pits filled with pure water with the sun’s broken reflection upon the moving liquid. Water was a rare sight in the desert, especially so much.

    The ferry slowed to a stop and released a plank to shore. May, Max, and Drew walked off and fanned themselves. Unlike the cabins, the place was unbearably hot. A wind started up and sand flew up in swirls, and then faded.

    “I guess we’re finally here,” May said. “At least the City’s beautiful.”

    They walked through the gateway to enter a bustling, clean town with unnatural waterfalls and canals running through it. At the end of the shopping square was a stairway leading to some sort of gym, and behind that was another building, except it was much bigger.

    “Let me guess, you want to go shopping,” Max teased.

    May happily shook her head. “I want to check out that building over there,” she said as she pointed at the huge building at the end of two stairways.
    * * *
    “Wow!” May said as they entered the building. “This place is huge.”

    A lady behind a desk asked, “How may I help you?’

    “What is this place?”

    “It’s the Phenac City Colosseum,” she said. “We are holding Double Battles today. You have to battle through the preliminary rounds, the 2nd round, the semifinals, and then the finals. You can either battle with a partner and use one Pokemon each, or battle alone using two Pokemon.”

    May turned to Drew. “What do you think, you and me?”

    “It’s fine by me,” he said.

    “Alright, enter through the door on the left. Audience members go through the right. Thank you!”

    May and Drew went through the left door while Max went through the right.
    * * *
    “Which Pokemon should we use?” May asked.

    “Well, our opponent uses rock Pokemon, so my Roselia and your Bulbasaur should beat them up pretty quickly,” Drew said.

    “But he also has a Swellow to fend off our Grass Pokemon,” May said. “Skitty knows Blizzard, though, and that can pull off a lot of damage!”

    “Would May and Drew against Kate please report to the battlefield,” said a voice over the PA.

    “That’s us!”
    * * *
    Kate appeared to be a black-haired girl with brown eyes and a timid look about her.

    The referee shouted, “Send out your Pokemon!”

    “Go, Roselia!’

    “Go, Skitty!”

    “Go, Graveler and Swellow!”

    The referee shouted, “Begin the battle!”

    Kate was quick. “Graveler, use that Double Edge we learned on Skitty!”

    Graveler started charging towards Skitty.

    “Oh no you don’t! Roselia, use Leech Seed on Graveler!” Drew commanded.

    Seeds shot at a running Graveler from Roselia’s roses. The seeds stretched out into vines upon contact with its target, holding it down and sucking energy out of it.

    Kate groaned. “Swellow, pay them back with a Wing Attack on Roselia!”

    “Nice try, Kate, but you’re no match for us!” May said back. “Skitty, blizzard!”

    Swellow was flying at Roselia with its glowing wing outstretched. It was about 3 feet away from Roselia when Skitty launched its devastating ice attack, bringing the bird down to a halt. Swellow lay on the ground, unable to battle. The trainer recalled her Pokemon just as Graveler finally broke free of Leech Seed. It slowly stood up, weakened but determined to win.

    “Roselia, use Petal Dance!”

    “Skitty, use Assist!” May prayed that Petal Dance would come out as well.

    Roselia and Skitty launched the powerful Grass attack on Graveler, knocking it out.

    The referee raised the right flag. “May and Drew win!”
    * * *
    “Our next opponent has many different types,” May reported. “He has a Shiftry, Shelgon, and Manetric. This is going to be tough.”

    “Your Combusken can use Sky Uppercut, right? My Flygon can take care of Shelgon and Manetric,” Drew suggested.

    “Well, this battle’s decided,” May said.

    “Just one thing May,” Drew said. “My Flygon knows Earthquake, and that’s super effective on Manetric and Combusken. It hurts all Pokemon on the field.”

    “So when you use it, Combusken has to jump up,” May finished for him.

    “Exactly.”
    * * *
    The referee shouted, “Send out your Pokemon!”

    A boy with brown, spiky hair sent out his Manetric and Shiftry.

    “Go, Flygon!’

    “Go, Combusken!”

    The boy shouted a command before Drew could even move. “Manetric, use Spark on Combusken! Shiftry, use Aerial Ace on Flygon!”

    “Flygon, use Earthquake!”

    “Combusken, jump up really high!”

    Combusken bounded up as Flygon slammed the floor to make an earthquake. Manetric froze in its tracks, but Shiftry pulled through.

    Shiftry was about to use Aerial Ace on Flygon when May had an idea. “Combusken, land on top of Shiftry!”

    Combusken plummeted down on top of Shiftry, stopping its attack. The earthquake stopped.

    Manetric went down. The boy recalled it. “Shiftry, use dig on Combusken!”

    “Quick, Combusken, Blaze Kick!”

    Shiftry started burrowing. Combusken put its foot on fire and kicked Shiftry, in the face! Shiftry fell flat on its back, out of the battle.

    The referee raised the right flag. “The victory goes to Drew and May!”
    * * *
    “The next opponents favor the Dark type. Bug attacks will work,” May reported.
    “Masquerain and Beautifly would do the trick!”

    “You’re getting better at this May,” Drew complimented. Then he snottily added, “I’m still better.”

    May got ticked off. “Why you with your oversized head-“

    Drew threw her a rose to shut her up.
    * * *
    The two bugs were up on the field against a Mightyena and an Absol.

    Then someone’s Luvdisc danced around Masquerain and Beautifly, then May and Drew, next Mightyena and Absol, and the opponents, who were a married couple. They were delighted.

    “Mightyena, shadow ball!”

    “You too, Absol!”

    The two dark Pokemon hurled a black lump at the two bugs. They hit pretty hard, but not enough to put Masquerain and Beautifly down.

    May, who was blushing furiously after Luvdisc’s dance, shouted, “Beautifly, Silver Wind!”

    Drew seemed perfectly calm. “Masquerain, you too!”

    The two bugs made their wings glow and flapped them to release layers of silver-colored wind. They struck their target. Absol fainted, but Mightyena remained standing.

    “Mightyena, bite Beautifly!”

    Mightyena opened its jaws and closed them on one of the butterfly’s wings, knocking it out.

    “Return, Beautifly!” May shouted sadly.

    Masquerain glared at Mightyena, and it glared back.

    “Masquerain, finish this off with Bubblebeam!”

    Masquerain shot tons of big bubbles at Mightyena knocking it out.

    The referee raised the usual flag and announced May and Drew the winner.
    * * *
    “Drew, our next opponent is…Ash!” May said. “But I have an idea…”
    She whispered it into his ear.

    Drew nodded.
    * * *
    Ash smirked at them after sending out his Torkoal and Grovyle. “You may be my friends, but I’m still gonna whoop your butt!”

    “So you think,” Drew said, arms crossed.

    “Bugs are weak against fire, so Torkoal, use Overheat on Masquerain!”

    “Masquerain, counter with Bubblebeam!”

    Torkoal’s Overheat was too strong for Masquerain’s mere Bubblebeam.

    “Beautifly, take the hit, then use Morning Sun!”

    Beautifly flew in front of Masquerain, shielding it from the intense heat attack. Luckily, because of the Bubblebeam, the attack wasn’t as harsh, but Beautifly still fell to the ground, burnt. However the Morning Sun healed it completely, making it look as good as new.

    “Now, Beautifly, use Silver Wind on Grovyle!”

    “Torkoal, take the hit!” Ash commanded.

    “Masquerain, use bubblebeam!”

    Torkoal was buffeted by both attacks, knocking it out.

    “Finish Grovyle off with Gust!” May and Drew shouted at the same time.

    The wind was too much for Grovyle. It fell to the ground, dazed.
    * * *
    “Congratulations! May and Drew, you are the winners of this week’s Colosseum Challenge! Return to the front desk for your prizes!”

    The lady behind the desk handed them prize money and ribbons. The ribbon was blue with a gold edge and the usual gold clasp in the middle.

    Drew and May placed it in their ribbon cases and left the door.

    A man in a dark outfit grabbed May by the wrist as she tried to leave. “You’re not going anywhere, girlie.”

    “May!” Drew tried to free her from the man’s grasp. Then he felt himself being pulled away by some other men. “Who are you?”

    “We’re Team Snagem, and you don’t need this girlie here, so we’ll take her!” A member said. “Koffing, use smokescreen!” The man released the Poison Pokemon and it used the smoke attack, blinding Drew.

    “Drew! Are you OK?” Max rushed over to Drew and tried to fan the smoke away. When it cleared, May and Team Snagem were gone. “Where’s May?”

    Drew stayed on the floor and hit it. “Team Snagem got her.”

    “You mean the evil conspiracy?! Sis!” Max cried.

    Drew stood up. “Don’t worry, we’ll save her! You hear that, Team Snagem? You’ll be sorry!”

    Next time in Chapter 4: Snagem Hideout! Rescue May!
    Drew sneaks into the Snagem Hideout to rescue May. When he's surrounded by grunts, only one thing motivates him to rescue May. Find out what and if he succeeds in the next chappie!

    Comments/crits as usual?

    -Ralts
    Last edited by Xiang; 20th June 2005 at 11:45 PM.
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  19. #19
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    ooooooo u r a fast writer........ and a good writer 2...... better than me...... thx 4 replyin 2 my fic.............. can i b on da pm list 2^ ^
    plus ur chapters r great ^ ^

    Banner made by me~

  20. #20
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    Sweet May: You're added!
    Thanks for reading the whole thing...took forever. @_@ I was hoping someone would review. XD

    Next Chapter will be on tomorrow!
    (I mean it this time) XD

    -Ralts
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  21. #21
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    damn........... ur really a fast writer.............. or have u been writing dis b4..... but anyways i enjoy ur fic^ ^

    Banner made by me~

  22. #22
    WindyNight Guest

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    Holy! You are such a fast writer, pichu_gurl...*is impressed*
    Great stuff you got there....^^
    Oh yeah, can you add me to the PM list?

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by pichu_gurl
    Meh, sorry for the double post, but updates, updates, updates. Anyway, I got the next chappie done before I thought I would. Thanks for the suggestions, I have worked WAY harder on this chappie. Thanks again!

    Chapter One- Ferry Delay! Love Bicker!

    "If you are boarding this month's ferry to the Orre region, please report to the dock immediately. " Nurse Joy's voice was on the PA.

    May lazily sat up as Nurse Joy repeated her warning. She looked at the clock. It read 9:00. "Huh? But the ferry leaves at 12! Ah, must be important." She got up and climbed down off the bed. She shook Drew awake.

    "What is it, May?" He yawned.

    "Nurse Joy wants us down. Some announcement or something."

    "Should Max get shaken awake by some annoying girl too?" Drew teased.

    "Oh will you lay off!" She tied on her bandana and put on her pack and walked out the door.

    Drew snickered. "That's May alright." He put on his purple jacket and and left.
    * * *
    Nurse Joy stepped up to a podium. "We're terribly sorry for bothering you this early before the ride."

    Brock stepped up the podium as well and took her hand in his."Oh, my lovely gentle angel, you are forgiven from my very toes to my very-"

    Max stepped up and tugged Brock away by the ear, as usual. "Let's see if she can forgive YOU for that."

    Nurse Joy laughed nervously and played with the microphone a bit. "Sorry about that. Because of last night's accident, we will have to run a security check on your luggages, and that will take a while, so come around 11. Thank you!"

    A continuous ripple of muttering went through the crowd as they left out the door.

    "Max, I thought you were asleep!" May scolded.

    "When I woke up, you weren't there, and when I looked in the hallway, people where heading towards the main lobby, so I figured you'd be there," Max said defensively.

    May sighed. "No sense arguing. I wonder what the accident was."

    "No clue, but let's hope nothing bad happens to us. We should eat breakfast now, it's 9:30." Drew started for the cafeteria.
    * * *
    “Mmmm, pancakes,” Max said happily after a waitress in a frilly dress set it down on the table.

    “Well, everyone, dig in!” May announced happily. She raised her fork and stopped when she noticed Drew was sitting in his usual “arms crossed and corny attitude” look even with the pancake’s aroma wafting around him.

    “Drew, aren’t you going to eat?” May set her fork down.

    “ I don’t need to eat, I’m immortal,” he taunted.

    “You’re kidding, right?” Max said in his “annoying know-it-all voice.”

    Drew laughed as he and May picked their forks up. “You caught me.”
    * * *
    Max laughed as he lied back down on his bed. “I ate so much I can’t move!”

    May giggled with him. “Not the same here. I ate so fast we still have more than an hour to wait!”

    Drew couldn’t help but laugh too. When they all settled down and pulled themselves together, Drew asked, “So, what do you reckon we do in the meantime?”

    “We could let out our Pokemon ,” May suggested.

    Drew sent out his Roselia, Masquerain, and paused to think if Flygon would fit in the room. He sent it out anyway. It’s “antennae” barely tickled the ceiling and Drew breathed a sigh of relief.

    May tossed out her Pokeballs to release her Bulbasaur, Beautifly, Skitty, and Combusken.

    Masquerain flew up to Beautifly and blushed as it flew around in a pattern of spins and turns.

    Drew flicked his hair. “Heh, figures. “

    May looked confused. “What’s Masquerain doing?”

    Max flipped through a Pokemon book. “That’s a mating dance. Sometimes it means that the trainer’s are in love as well!” Max burst into laughter. “Ha, you and Drew! I can-ow!”
    May had angrily seized the book from her brother and whacked him on the head with it. “You made the last part up!”

    (Meanwhile, Drew calmly ignored this.)

    Max held his laughter. “Then what are those RED roses for?” He exploded this time.

    Drew tried to ignore this, but he was shaking.

    May turned bright red. She looked like she wanted to drive a dagger through his head.

    “And Drew even said it made sense!” Max whacked himself with a pillow while trying to breathe.

    May ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

    Drew grabbed Max by the arm. “Two words. J-Just two: STOP. IT.” He released the boy, shaking.

    “I think I had better leave,” Max muttered, apparently trying to stifle another chest burst. He left without a word.

    Drew knocked on the bathroom door and heard May crying. “May, can I come in?”

    “Use the key on my bed, “ sobbed a muffled voice.

    Drew climbed up the ladder and saw a key on May’s pillow. He took it and climbed back down and unlocked the door.

    May was hugging her knees as tears rolled down her face and landed on the floor. Drew sat down next to her.

    “About what Max said, I…” Drew trailed off shakily. ‘No. I can’t confess my feelings toward her. Now’s not the right time,’ Drew thought to himself.

    “Drew, I…” May trailed off in a similar way as Drew did. ‘I can’t tell him how I feel about him, what if he doesn’t love me back?’ May’s thoughts ran about in her mind. “Drew?”

    Drew looked up. “Yes?”

    “Thanks for caring enough to come in and comfort me,” May said. ‘There. Hopefully I didn’t release to much,’ she thought to herself.

    They got up and walked out of the bathroom.

    “Max, you may come in now,” May said reluctantly.

    Max slowly walked in. “Sis, Drew, I’m sorry. Now that that’s settled, it’s 10:50, so let’s get ready to go.

    Thank you, again and again and again!

    The
    Nicest
    Ralts
    in
    Maryland
    Aww! That was so cute! I liked it! ^__^

    Can't wait for the next chapter~

  24. #24
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    Thanks everyone for pos. reviews! Helps when you're young and have no exams and homework. XD
    It's summer break, I got all day to write. My sis complains that I don't play with her anymore. ^^'
    Yay, I'm undergoing the usual transformation AND the couch potato transformation process thingamijjigy. OK that was weird. Sorry!
    PM List:
    MiniMinun
    MayShuuFan
    Sweet_May
    WindyNight

    Gaah, I'm doing this list from memory, should write it down somewhere...
    Alright, see you wonderful reviewers tomorrow! I have to get started on the next chappie! *Opens Word*
    See ya,
    Ralts
    Last edited by Xiang; 21st June 2005 at 2:11 AM.
    My tumblr or something: x

  25. #25
    Miss Priss Guest

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    Your fic is so nice, that I wouldn't have known it was your first if you hadn't told! Can you please put me on the PM list? Thanks in advance!
    Jade~

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