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Thread: Rustboro Academy(Hoenn and Quest shipping)

  1. #1
    Sapphire Guest

    Default Rustboro Academy(Hoenn and Quest shipping)

    This fic is rated PG-13 for violence and bad language in the later chapters. This is my first fan fic so it wouldn't be that good yet. Flames are welcome just don't go " This story sucks!" or something like that. Tell me why and how can I improve. Anyway, here's the first chapter of Rustboro Academy!
    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 1: May’s embarrassment (Part 1)

    January 1st 2005
    Rustboro Academy
    English Class

    It was a fine day at Rustboro academy. All was going well until Marina, a 12-year-old girl, who had cerulean hair tied up in two ponytails and was also wearing a white jacket over a pink long-sleeved skirt and blue shorts, also known as the school’s pest, walked in to her English class. Marina sat down on a table and called everyone in her class to come over and listen to the great news she had. Brendan, who was in her class, did not bother to gather; as it was probably some news about the English teacher was not here today. Ash, Drew, Wally who were in Marina’s class quickly gathered around Marina as they knew the news would probably be about May and Brendan.
    Brendan was their archenemy as they all liked May but May seemed to like Brendan and not the rest of them. The whole class had gathered around her then Marina started to speak,

    “ As we know, May and Brendan who are the lovebirds in this class, I’d like to say, Brendan, May likes you!”

    As soon as Marina said that, May who just happened to step in the class heard what Marina had just announced began to blush furiously. Brendan did the same too.
    Kerry, a 13-year-old, who had brown hair was wearing a pink short sleeves shirt and a yellow skirt a little above the knee caps, Marina’s best friend and also in Marina’s group of teasing Brendan and May, saw Brendan and May blushing and purposely made them blush even more by saying,

    “ Brendan and May, Sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

    The whole class except Ash, Drew, Wally, Brendan and May began to laugh at the joke. May and Brendan just wished the teacher would just come in right now and stop Marina and Kerry from making so much trouble.
    Somehow their wish came true as the English teacher stepped in and saw the whole class laughing and knew it was Marina behind all the trouble and quickly called the class to settle down and go back to their seats.
    After English class was Lunch for them. May managed to get in to the lunchroom without Jackie, Emily and Sam, who were in Marina’s group of teasing her and Brendan, following her and making all those jokes about her and Brendan.
    May stepped in to the lunchroom and saw Brendan sitting at the boy’s table with Ash, Drew and Wally while Marina who was sitting on her group table with Kerry. The minute Brendan saw May stepped in; he started to blush furiously after what Marina had said in English class. May did the same too. May was tired from all this teasing and decided to try convince Marina somehow to stop teasing her and Brendan for at least a day.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Was chapter 1 okay? I know its a little short but I'll make the next chapter longer. I promise XD
    Last edited by *Sapphire-Chan*; 10th April 2005 at 8:53 AM.

  2. #2
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    It's a good story! Try not to stick the paragraphs together. Yes, try and make it longer too, great job! ^^


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  3. #3
    Sapphire Guest

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    Okay. I'll do that for the next chapter. Thanks XD

  4. #4
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    >Just make sure you make it longer than one page next time........

    >I'm surely you can psot other chapters easily by tomorrow or today, okay?

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    yeah, even mine was 5 pages! XDD still, you should post the other 2 chapters here...and try to separate the talking lines from the paragraph...like this
    The whole class had gathered around her then Marina started to speak,

    “ As we know, May and Brendan who are the lovebirds in this class, I’d like to say, Brendan, May likes you!”

    As soon as Marina said that, May who just happened to step in the class heard what Marina had just announced began to blush furiously. Brendan did the same too.


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  6. #6
    <.::<*~Minano~*>::.> Guest

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    great try! write longer!

  7. #7
    Sapphire Guest

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    I'll try that way. Lol I'm so used to writting like that even in real life o_O But in real life you can't possibly leave a line and just put a short sentence can you? XDD I don't think we can do that ^^ Avegaille, I'll post chapter 2 tomorrow or later today at night

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    ^^ I kinda like your story! Your writing is good! Keep up XD
    Has a Fic -now be surprised l3- Love Is a Many Blundered Thing Contestshippy-PG- Chapter 6 up Here (Very sorry for the delay). Please R&R! ^^

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    >Okay, I'll expect that soon too!

    >Hmm..... you might want to try descrition of the character's location, movements and stuff.......

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  10. #10
    Sapphire Guest

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    Thanks Juny XD
    Ok, I'll describe things more ^^

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    it's great you posted it here, since it's easier to check whether you've updated or not..XD and the description could be worked on...like me...i don't describe things well enough...


    離開是為了回來 & lj & icons
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  12. #12
    <.::<*~Minano~*>::.> Guest

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    so when are you posting cap2?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rinrei
    It's a good story! Try not to stick the paragraphs together. Yes, try and make it longer too, great job! ^^
    she's actually got it typed up, read it at my forums...


    離開是為了回來 & lj & icons
    Sumner Sturgeon love the siblings Kana

  14. #14
    Sapphire Guest

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    XDD I'll work on the description department. If you read my story on Jane's forums, I actually describe the Pokemon a little bit more lol XD

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    XDD well...actually i don't have the link to my forums in my sig at the moment...


    離開是為了回來 & lj & icons
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  16. #16
    Sapphire Guest

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    XDD I've noticed lol. I might get chapter 2 up here tonight XD

  17. #17
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    >Hmm....... I don't see chapter 2 here! XD

    >Well, Anyway, you were already on chapter 6 with a very long chapter on the other forums! XD

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  18. #18
    Sapphire Guest

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    Chapter 2 is here! Sorry guys, I forgetten to post it up here well here it is!
    It's longer now XD
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Chapter 2: May’s embarrassment (Part 2)
    January 1st 2005
    Rustboro Academy
    Lunchroom
    Jackie, Emily and Sam entered the lunchroom a few minutes after May had arrive and went to Marina to tell her that they did not succeed in teasing May all the way to the lunchroom.
    The minute Brendan saw May stepped in; he started to blush furiously after what Marina had said in English class. May did the same too. May was tired from all this teasing and decided to try convince Marina somehow to stop teasing her and Brendan for at least a day. May slowly walked to Marina preparing what she was going to say to Marina and hoped she did not say anything that would get Marina to cause even more trouble.
    Marina and Kerry were talking about Brendan and May and did not notice May coming towards their way.
    “ Umm, Hi Marina, umm. Could you please stop all the teasing?,”
    May’s voice was suddenly heard and that gave a scare to Marina and Kerry.
    “ Why? Teasing you and Brendan really is fun, right Kerry?”
    “ Yep! It is fun!”
    “ Well can you at least stop for the rest of today please? We have only about 3 more hours to go before school is over. So could you please don’t tease for the rest of today?,
    ” May asked hoping Marina would agree.
    “ Nah. That isn’t fun!”
    “ Well teasing isn’t fun either.”
    “Why you want me to stop teasing anyway? Is it because you love Brendan?,
    ” Marina asked mockingly.
    “ No I don’t!,
    ” May stuttered blushing a bit.
    “ Aw you’re blushing already! So that means you do love him!”
    “NO I DON’T!! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!,
    ” May screamed at the top of her lungs.
    May’s scream was heard loud and clear in the lunchroom. Everyone who heard the scream stared at May. May looked at them and gave a nervous laugh. Everyone stopped staring at May and went back doing whatever they were doing before the scream was heard.
    “ Please Marina please?”
    “ Nuh uh I am not stopping all the teasing”
    “ I know! How about you have a battle with May?,
    ” Kerry suggested.
    “ That’s a great idea!,
    ” Both May and Marina agreed at the same time.
    “ Ok, if you win, I’ll stop the teasing for today but if I win, I’ll continue, Okay?”
    “ Right. Lets battle now?”
    “ Yep!”
    Marina said as she started walking towards the hall with May following behind.
    After May and Marina left, Kerry told every one of her classmates that May and Marina are going to have a battle in the hall. After Kerry told everyone, everyone rushed to the hall.
    When May and Marina arrived the hall, the hall was packed with every one of their classmates who somehow heard of the battle they were going to have.
    I guess Kerry must have told everyone about the battle” May thought to herself.
    Kerry, Jackie, Emily and Sam were talking to each other about who will win the battle.
    “ I think Marina is going to win the battle!,”
    Sam, a 13-year-old, who had a little crush on Marina, said.
    “ I hope so too,”
    The others said.
    “ One on one battle and no time limit sounds good?,”
    Marina asked.
    “ Okay. Go Torchic!!,”
    May said as she threw a poke ball. The poke ball landed on the floor releasing a small chick pokemon.
    “ Torchic!,”
    The little orange chick pokemon cried out its battle cry.
    “This is going to be a tough one with Chikorita if Torchic uses ember but I’m going to try no matter what even if May has the type advantage!,”
    Marina thought to herself.
    “ Go Chikorita!,”
    Marina said as she threw a poke ball her style, which looked as if she was kicking the poke ball.
    “Chikeri!,”
    The grass type pokemon cried out as it came out of its poke ball.
    “ Ok Torchic lets finish this with em-!,”
    Marina cut May short.
    “ Hey what’s the big idea?!,”
    May yelled at Marina.
    “ Stun spore now!,”
    Marina told Chikorita ignoring May.
    “Chika!,”
    Chikorita cried out as it obeyed its trainer and released a brown powder at Torchic. The brown powder landed on Torchic all over the place and Torchic tried to dodge by it could not move somehow.
    “Woo hoo! Torchic’s paralyzed!,” Kerry shouted.
    “ Oh great, Torchic’s paralyzed, I think I have a paralyzed heal somewhere in my bag,”
    May told herself and began digging up the items inside her phanny pack.
    “ Okay Chikorita, while she’s distracted keep tackling Torchic!,”
    Marina said confidently that she would win the battle.
    The grass type pokemon rushed to Torchic and started tackling it non-stop. Torchic’s health was now in the red zone and any minute now it was going to faint.
    “ I found it!,”
    May shouted as she pulled out a paralyzed heal from her bag and used it on Torchic. Torchic was now able to move and dodged Chikorita’s tackle attacks as Chikorita was getting tired.
    “ Okay Torchic ember!,”
    May shouted, as she could smell victory.
    “ Torchiiiiiiiiiiiiic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,”
    The fire chick pokemon cried out as it shot tiny fireballs at Chikorita. One of the fireballs landed at Chikorita’s leaf and started burning.
    “Chika!!,”
    Chikorita cried out rolling about trying to put the fire out.
    “ Chikorita!,”
    Marina shouted as she watched her pokemon rolling about desperately trying to put the fire out. Soon, Chikorita fainted.
    “ Yes!! May won! I knew she would win!,”
    Brendan, who overheard every single word what May, Marina and Kerry were talking about in the lunchroom, shouted happily from his seat, as he was too happy to hear no more teasing from Marina for the rest of today.
    “ Aww Marina lost,”
    Kerry, Jackie and Emily said in unison.
    “ Well she did put up a great fight,”
    Sam told the girls. The girls nodded their head agreeing with what Sam had just said.
    “ Return Chikorita,”
    Marina said feeling a bit down and guilty for getting Chikorita badly hurt. May returned Torchic and went up to Marina.
    “ Hey that was a great battle you put up even though me and Torchic had the advantage.”
    “ Yeah. I still lost anyway. I won’t tease you for the rest of today,”
    Marina said and ran away to the pokemon center to heal Chikorita. After Marina left, May was partying mentally.
    Kerry, Jackie, Emily and Sam saw Marina running away and quickly gave chase.
    “ I’m sorry Chikorita that I got you hurt so bad,”
    Marina mumbled to herself as she entered the pokemon center. Marina handed Chikorita’s poke ball to Nurse Joy.
    “ I’m afraid Chikorita has to stay in the pokemon center overnight. Chikorita got hurt really bad,”
    Nurse Joy told Marina.
    “ Okay then, I’ll pick Chikorita up in the morning tomorrow.”
    “ Marina!” Kerry, Jackie, Emily and Sam shouted as they rushed in the pokemon center. Marina looked at them confused.
    “ Why did you all come here? Pokemon battle techniques are going to start soon! I don’t want to get you all in trouble because of me!”
    Marina said.
    “ We just came to see if you were alright.”
    Kerry told Marina.
    “ I’m okay. Anyway, we better go to pokemon battle techniques class now, you don’t want to get battle techniques-sensei (It means teacher in Japanese, I think) mad.”
    Marina told them, as the battle techniques teacher was very strict about being late for class. They agreed and started heading towards pokemon battle techniques class.
    Lucky for them, they arrived a few minutes before class started. The pokemon battle techniques-sensei arrived after Marina and her group entered the class.
    “ Miss May and Marina had a very interesting battle today.”
    Battle techniques-sensei said as he started teaching the class battle techniques on how to win in a situation like what Marina had. Pokemon battle techniques class continued until the end of school. As this was a boarding school, most of the pupils in Rustboro Academy sleep and eat inside the school but some of the pupils who live nearby go back to their homes. Marina and Kerry were among those who lived in Rustboro Academy while Jackie, Emily and Sam went back to their homes.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    Was the battle scene okay?
    Last edited by *Sapphire-Chan*; 12th April 2005 at 12:50 PM.

  19. #19
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    It's a good chapter! Like I said, make it like... press the enter button before you start a new paragrph. But I still like it a lot!


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  20. #20
    Sapphire Guest

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    Waaaahh T_T Whats with this enter thing that I don't get it?!?!?
    I need someone to explain to me.. o_O

  21. #21
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    you've got the enter thing right on the first chapter...O_O


    離開是為了回來 & lj & icons
    Sumner Sturgeon love the siblings Kana

  22. #22
    Sapphire Guest

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    o_O I don't get it lol.. I pressed enter when someone talks.. o_O

  23. #23
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    >hmm....youstillneedtoworkonyourdoublespacing..... ..enteringImean.....

    >mykeyboardisonthefritsduringthenight,soforgivemei fmypostslooklikespamsinceIthinkmykeyboardisborken. ....

    o_o;;;

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  24. #24
    Sapphire Guest

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    Wished a mod would come and help you edit your post :\

  25. #25
    <.::<*~Minano~*>::.> Guest

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    She means to press the enter button before you start a new paragraph.

    like that:

    Jackie, Emily and Sam entered the lunchroom a few minutes after May had arrive and went to Marina to tell her that they did not succeed in teasing May all the way to the lunchroom.

    The minute Brendan saw May stepped in, he started to blush furiously after what Marina had said in English class. May did the same too. May was tired from all this teasing and decided to try convince Marina somehow to stop teasing her and Brendan for at least a day. May slowly walked to Marina preparing what she was going to say to Marina and hoped she did not say anything that would get Marina to cause even more trouble.
    Marina and Kerry were talking about Brendan and May and did not notice May coming towards their way.

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