Kelly, even her name, bugged me. As I'm fairly sure you intended? So congratulations. I'm surprised, though, that Solonn evolved so soon. I had thought he'd continue as a Snorunt for the majority of the story. It did seem a little rushed, but that's just my opinion. Just how big is he? I'd always thought of Glalie as being half a human in height or something thereabouts. You know what? This fic needs fanart. To show the proportions and everything. Wouldn't mind seeing one of Solonn in Morgan's room. Or Sei and her mags. (Incidentally, I liked her little role in this chapter. "I didn't mean to read your mind". Suuuuure. She can just keep saying that. We all know she's too much of a busybody not to. ^^ She seems so much like a secretary.)
So that's it. A few of the colloquialisms annoy me, but that's personal preference.