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Thread: Communication (PG-13)

  1. #201
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    .......THAT'S IT!!! *sics Skull the Shadow Marowak on Jal'Tai* DIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!

    Ahem.

    A good chapter. Decent length, funny parts (like the "human hygenic rituals" XD), and, no matter what Jal'Tai does with/to Solonn, I'LL KILL THAT LATIOS!!!!! By use of my Shadow Marowak, Skull. If you want to see Skull, check out my first fic, Shadows of Fear.

    If you do review it...Do NOT tell me that I went/go too fast. I KNOW THAT, AND I DID SLOW DOWN!!!

    Ahem.

    Anyway, great chapter. Also, yes, I would like PM notification that the next chapter is up. Can I PLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEEE kill Jal'Tai? Latios aren't immortal. They have eternal life, but they aren't impervious to harm, and enough harm will kill them.
    Current fanfics:


    Proving Grounds

    How far will one boy go to prove something?

  2. #202
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    At last, I finished reading this fic XD Right now I'll just give you a short review of what happened so far and then go back to my regular style with chapter 10. Then again, I don't think I can spend 1-2 hours reviewing this fic since the chapters alone take me a good half an hour to read XD


    Plot-wise Review

    Well, this is without a doubt one of the most original plots I have ever seen. A Snorunt is born with The Speech and learns through multiple experiences that it is more of a curse than a blessing. Quite honestly, that sounds extremely dull, but you manage to pull it off in a way that it is fun to read. He never really seems to stay in one place for more than a few chapters, always on the move. His life in Virc-Dho seemed rather interesting, though it must not be a very exciting life just playing around in that pit all day long. It was weird how is mother was always able to save him, but not when he got captured by Morgan. I love pokemon contests so the saga with Morgan was rather interesting, though I Know there's more to the Sableye and its owner than just stealing Glalie simply to have him on stage. I have a feeling that the Lations (cant bring up his name, sorry XD) was somewhat involved with them. I hope we see Morgan again because there are still some loose ebds (like what happened to her other pokemon). Perhaps she'll end up kicking Latios's human behind XD The convergence saga is a funny one, Ill give you that. I fidn it kinda farfetch'd that these pokemon and humans are able to live in such a lavish city and not even be noticed by the outside world. There has to be more than just Latios being in a high position. I must say though, the Ursaring riding a bear still has me cracking up XD It was rather shocking when he turned into a human, that was completely unexpected I'll give you that. I liked how you described him losing his element. Latios seems to be rather creepy, very obsessed with the state of his city, he kinda reminds me of Lord Yggdrassil from Tales of SYmphonia. Last chapter was very interesting and quite funny seeing a pokemon adjust to human life. Him putting on boxer shorts, the acid faucet in the shower, the whole uncomfortable talk of what to do in the bathroom...lots of humor there. I wasnt quite sure what Chimecho was doing or how Solonn managed to escape, but, he managed to do it and that's all that matters. I really thought he would be able to get out of the city, but I was wrong. Damn Medicham! I can only wait in horror to see what drastic measures the Latios has in mind

    Writing WIse

    I love your style of writing.It always keeps me reading without apathy, and even though your chapters are 00ber long, your style is good enough to keep me hooked on. Your vocabulary is nice as well, I saw some vocabulary words from my language arts class in it XD Descriptions are positively amazing, like the scene where Glalie shows off his attacks in the contest. Speaking of which, that contest was a VERY good chapter and battle. Flows very nicely as well, despite the huge paragraphs. LOts of dialogue but always filled with meaning. What can I say? Your an amazing writer!



    The only suggestion I can think of right now is a better description for human Solonn, right now I can barely picture him. Or maybe you meant to not have a description, I dunno


    Overall: Amazing fic Sike Saner, one of the best wriitng skills I've ever seen. I can hardly await the next chapter! Good luck!
    A Championship Battle
    FINISHED: Johto's top psychic trainer and the granddaughter of an Elite Four member go head to head for the Silver Cup championship. Features underused pokemon including Tropius, Slowking, and my personal favorite, Jynx



    This story is too fleshed out and completed in my head for me not to finish it. I'm determined to finish my first real, fleshed out fiction. And I'll wait until it's done before posting it. Chapters 6/18.

  3. #203
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    Beside him, a small image of three Smeargle being led out of a building by a Medicham in a police uniform and two Houndoom with badges affixed to collars around their necks appeared.
    Once there, Jal’tai immediately took the remote from its compartment in the arm of the green chair and turned on the television, bringing the image of a rather tone-deaf, singing Meowth to life on the screen
    Am I the only one who caught these references to TOoS? Actually, I'm not too sure about the second...

    Darn that evil Jal'Tai and his lackeys... Poor Solonn, he seems pretty screwed right now (in a literal way, perhaps, considering how Jal'Tai made Solonn look...). Or perhaps the punishment involves the soul sucker and Prince of evil, Oth.

    In any case, great chapter Sike! Though it was a filler in some ways, it had plenty going on there, and it certainly needed to happen. There was no small amount of doubt as to if Solonn would escape, but it was still depressing when he did. Probably the best handling of character emotions I've ever read. Especially the Latios hate...

    Also, I bet if Solonn was still his Glalie self he'd have wrung that Medicham out like a hot flannel.

  4. #204
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    oooohh boy is Solonn in for it >_<

    quite an interesting chapter... and for some strange reason I picture Jal'tal's human guise as Colnel Sanders o_O;

    excellent chapter... but I hope Solonn and Jal'tal will reach some sort of understanding at least.

    EDIT: this fic reminds me of the song "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum...
    Last edited by PDL; 28th January 2006 at 7:21 PM.
    Part-time Fanfic writer, Full-time crank.

  5. #205
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    Saffire Persian:
    XD... the Pokémon meditation... but interesting way of introducing this character, though I was assuming she'd be more major than she was. 0_o.. Will we see more of her?
    Possibly. There’s still a lot of decision-making to be done for the next chapter before I can say anything for sure where that’s concerned. I kind of hope so, though. She was really fun to write. XD

    Though the question is, why does this Latios need a successor so bad? He seemed to be quite potent and healthy, no signs of aging or ailing, so I'm confused as to what the Latios needs Solonn for? Sure, maybe the 'human' form Jai'tal is taking is old, but he could always weave a new one o.o.. or something.
    It may not show much, but Jal’tai really is fairly elderly himself. I’d say he probably does still have plenty of good years of good health ahead of him, though, sure. Thing is, I think he’s just very fretful where the future of the Convergence project is concerned; he just wants to make sure that tomorrow is planned for, whatever the future may bring.

        Spoiler:


    xXSaberXx:
    I now know how foreigners feel. :P

    Though, it's not as bad. They know how to use toilets at least. Poor Solonn. ;.;
    XDDDD

    SCARY COPS WTF WTF WTF.
    XD Those cops weren’t even in the original version. The idea for them just kind of came out of nowhere, and I went with it. A lot of my favorite things in this story are that way, actually.

    D: *points at sig*

    :333333 I quoth thee.
    X33 Noticed that.

    WE SHOULD MAKE A BAND.

    AN EXPLOUD/CHIMECO/SNORLAX band. Speakers, Voice, and Drums. YAY. All we need is a guitar. :P
    *is immediately reminded of a certain meowth image* Fwee, that’ll do it. ^^

    PsiUmbreon:
    Yeah, I figured he wouldn't make it anyways... I mean, c'mon, trying to escape from a PSYCHIC?
    XD Yeah, he was kind of screwed from the start, wasn’t he?

        Spoiler:
    Aw, shucks… ^^     Spoiler:


    Morpher01:
    Decent length, funny parts (like the "human hygenic rituals" XD)
    XD Hygienic rituals… yeah. X3 But just imagine if he had been a girl…

    o_o

    MOVING ON. XD

    Can I PLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEEE kill Jal'Tai?
    *shrugs* If you want. Might want to wait until I’m done with him or else I’ll have to get some crappy extra to play him in the rest of the story, though. XP

    IceKing:

    FWEE! *does new reviewer dance; somewhere in Hell, a demon gets its wings*

    Perhaps she'll end up kicking Latios's human behind XD The convergence saga is a funny one, Ill give you that. I fidn it kinda farfetch'd that these pokemon and humans are able to live in such a lavish city and not even be noticed by the outside world. There has to be more than just Latios being in a high position.
    *nods* Absolutely. Convergence is an experiment, really, and there are a number of parties behind it, funding it, developing it, scouting for suitable subjects to live within the city, and making sure to keep everyone else out. The only one of the involved parties I will identify at this time, however, is     Spoiler:
    .

    Speaking of which, that contest was a VERY good chapter and battle.
    ^^ Thanks, that’s one of my favorites, too. Probably expalins why it was so easy to write that part; I always have an easier time writing the parts I like best.

    The only suggestion I can think of right now is a better description for human Solonn, right now I can barely picture him. Or maybe you meant to not have a description, I dunno
    Yeah, I think the description of him could possibly have stood to be more straightforward. I was kind of wary of doing it that way, though; in those scenes, I was more concerned with the atmosphere and the emotions of the characters, especially in the early part of chapter 8, and I was concerned that really stopping to describe him might take things out of that atmosphere for a moment. I kind of skimped on the description of Jal’tai as a Latios in that part for the same reason. There are descriptive elements regarding Solonn as a human, but they’re sort of scattered, usually only being referenced when some feature of his particularly stands out in Jal’tai’s perception.

    Elemental Charizam:
    Am I the only one who caught these references to TOoS? Actually, I'm not too sure about the second...
    Good eye. ^^ Yes, those are the same smeargle. But the meowth is some other meowth.

    Probably the best handling of character emotions I've ever read. Especially the Latios hate…
    Thanks. ^^ I had worried all the while I was writing that that I would bungle it somehow. But then again, I always worry at least to some degree that I’m going to bungle things. X3;

    Also, I bet if Solonn was still his Glalie self he'd have wrung that Medicham out like a hot flannel.
    X3 He’d have certainly tried. Might not have gone so well for him, though; if the medicham had managed to land a hi jump kick on him, and that hadn’t succeeded in making him sorry enough, dual flamethrowers from those two houndoom probably would have done the job.

    PDL:
    ... and for some strange reason I picture Jal'tal's human guise as Colnel Sanders o_O;
    That is actually exactly where his appearance came from. XDDDD As to why the Colonel… no reason whatsoever. I just needed to come up with an old man image, that was the first thing that came to mind, and it just stuck. XD

    this fic reminds me of the song "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum...
    Oh, I like that song. ^^ …And hey, it really does seem to fit pretty well. Especially this part: “So tired that I couldn’t even sleep/So many secrets I couldn’t keep” Very nice. ^^
    Last edited by Sike Saner; 29th April 2012 at 11:48 PM.

    Current Chapter: Chapter 18 – Remnants

    COMPLETE
    Communication banner: Saffire Persian | TOoS banner: CHeSHiRe-CaT

  6. #206
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saffire Persian
    Though the question is, why does this Latios need a successor so bad? He seemed to be quite potent and healthy, no signs of aging or ailing, so I'm confused as to what the Latios needs Solonn for? Sure, maybe the 'human' form Jai'tal is taking is old, but he could always weave a new one o.o.. or something.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jal'tai, in part 2 of Chapter 8 (page 9)
    This is where you come in, Solonn. Now, it may not be obvious to the eye of the beholder, but I am getting on in years…Soon, I will be retiring from my position as mayor of Convergence, and the city will need someone to take my office when I depart. That someone is required to have a very particular and very rare skill in common with me – it is rendered a vital necessity by the very nature of this place. My successor must be able, just as I am, to freely and fluently communicate with Pok&#233;mon and Humans alike. My successor must possess The Speech.



    I'm a little down right now ("a little" = "Is anything really worth it?", but at least it's wearing down now), but this still managed to make me feel something. I felt a knowing pity for Solonn as he barely held on purely out of fear of pain from Jal’tai. When Jal'tai told him that he didn't have to eat meat anymore, I found that ridiculous in the same way Solonn did. I couldn't help smirking when he thought "Since when do you care what I do or don’t mind?…" and his mad dash for freedom made me smile and even raise my fist in a silent cheer... until he got caught. I'm not liking the sound of this "drastic measures to ensure [his] cooperation"....

    Sorry. What I meant to say (or at least imply, though I didn't do that too well) was that this most definitely was an awesome chapter, filler or not. Made me feel better.

    Like Dark Latios, I thought Neleng was a Latias for some reason.

    Quote Originally Posted by Communication Soundtrack
    Depeche Mode, "Enjoy the Silence", and "Policy of Truth"
    Last edited by Kthleen; 28th January 2006 at 10:24 PM.

  7. #207
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    So far, I've only read the Prologue and first chapter. (Ya know... for some reason I felt somethin evil and dark as I read the prologue. Somethin just felt bad as I read about Solonn hatching from his egg. Maybe its cuz of the way you described the area...)

    I neva read a Snorunt-Glalie fanfic, so it kept me interested. It was greatly written (u prolly already knew that.). I only saw one error, or at least I think it's an error.

    something small and very pointed

    shouldn't pointed be pointy?

    Anyway, I got a long way to go if I eva wanna catch up to where the story is right now... The Zubat appearin in Virc-Dho was interestin too.
    Last edited by whit19; 28th January 2006 at 9:08 PM.

  8. #208
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    I just got done reading the latest chap this morning.. And I must say, Jal'tai is getting to be a major pain!

    I was really praying that Solonn would get away.. But heck, it seemed way too good to be true. I can't even imagine what his punishment is going to be now. Oo;

    Strangely, I expected Neleng to be a Latias (ya I know, crazy me >.>) But her being a Chimecho made a lot more sense. Loved how you made her sound so sweet and innocent.. She doesn't seem like Jal at all. Wonder if she will appear again in the future..

    This is the crappiest review I've done so far, but duty calls. I'll be sure to leave a better one next time! ^^;

    Btw... Jal has a mob after him now! =0

    ~DL
    FC: 3797-7369-0001 Ice type:

  9. #209
    metal_chimaera Guest

    Default Review by me

    Hey

    I liked this chapter, though not as much as the other ones. But I can see why it was hard to write.

    I still felt that paternal feel with Jal'Tai towards Solonn... Unavoidable I guess.

    I noticed those Smeargle... I guess (since you already confirmed it) that they're the same French (or British, can't remember)-speaking vandals. What was their name... something like Brad, John and Tim?...
    The thought of Meowth being Sylvester also crossed my mind though.

    I really liked Nalang, despite the fact that she's associated with Jal'Tai. She sound so innocent, as if she was one of those little innocent babies (not saying that all kids are innocent though) being dragged into something far more... morbid than they can imagine.

    Anyway, about the writing. Honestly, sometimes it was a bit repetitive description-wise, especially in the first part of the chapter, when Solonn felt devastated. But then strangely enough when he got hope again I felt like more interested... I guess i'm just living into the story...

    Anyway, this Chapter hinted a bit more things but didn't answer many questions or even any, and as another reviewer said earlier, seems more like a filler Chapter than anything.

    Gotta go, take care
    metal_chimaera

  10. #210
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    *feels like nitpicking* You used 'yeilded slightly' too often more my tastes!!!1!!eleven!! Both for when Jal'tai prodded the couch and sat on the bed. And the sitting on the bed was, IMO, SOOO CUTE!! Reminds me of being a little child upset and curled up on teh squishly mattress and having my dad come and talk to me about what was wrong. Mebbe this is why I like Jal'tai?

    Yup! In face of the hordes of reviewers who think otherwise, I LIKE that Latios! ^^ Meh, probably 'tis a sign of a peculiar mind, but I'm thinking that Solonn should get over himself and actually TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM!! He accepted life as a trained pokemon so that some other poor Snorunt wouldn't be drafted in as a replacement so why, even though the stakes are WAY higher here, shouldn't he take the opportunity not only for the sake of someone else with the 'Speech' but for the sake of those he'd be helping? Whether he does it on his own terms and conditions (which, considering how cute Jal'tai is about the 'daddy' role, he'd probably allow - within reason) is rather irrelevant. o.O Yah, this is one reviewer that got warped along the way.

    Another thing I like about Jal'tai - his role as the 'comedic relief'. As I think I mentioned before, I see him as a portly, waistcoat and monocle bedecked bundle of chubbiness and fluff. *likes birds* Ah, I picture him doing some minor grooving to teh CD player while Solonn stands and gawks.

    Jal'tai: *wiggles to da music*

    Solonn: "I got kidnapped by this?!"

    o.o

    What I don't understand is why so many of your reviewers dislike teh poor birdie/dragon. He's funny, his cute, he's got powers to blow the roof off and ... he reminds me of the COUNT. Oh. So THAT'S why I like him. -_- Nevermind, moving on...

    So anyways, Neleng was adorable (though I was expecting human or Latias), Solonn's a wreck of self pity, Jal'tai is awesome but I reckon he's about to start threatening the folks that Solonn cares about to get his 'successor' back in line. O.O Well, threatening Solonn with the 'other Snorunts' worked before. And he can't really do anything to Solonn himself, lest he then need to find another successor. Meh, just a theory. *shrugs*

    Stunning work, as usual, though I reckon the whole 'angst and hate riddled theme' is almost getting too tokenistic. Much rather see the loveable and funny side come back. Dark fics ain't my thing. -_- Meh. Here's hoping that Solonn gets his act together and realises that being nice to the nice Dragon would be a SENSIBLE AND NOT-TO-BAD THING TO DO. o.O Leaving now.

    Piney.
    I wish you peace and love. God bless us all.

  11. #211
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    Sensible only because he doesn't want to be in pain, and Jal'tai can torture Solonn until he totally gives in, wins the victory over himself (who needs the self when one has a city of others?), and comes to completely love the Party- uh, I mean love his new job in his new life that was given to him without his consent but for the good of the city.

  12. #212
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    New reviewer ahoy! *dances*

    Er...anyway, I've been a fan of your writing style since last summer, when you started posting Origin of Storms here. I feel that within this fandom, you present most events in a realistic and believable manner--no particularly special powers (other than maybe Solonn's Speech) to possibly hamper a reader's ability to connect with a given character.

    Speaking of characters, yours are absolutely WONDERFUL. I love 'em, especially that one young, hyperactive Zubat from that one early chapter and Sei Salma. ESPECIALLY Sei Salma. Thanks to her, I've been stuck with the image of an Alakazam parking him/herself in front of the television with a carton of ice cream and watching a soap opera. Or reading a tabloid or something. XP I also hope that she, Morgan, and all of Morgan's other pokémon appear later on in the story, before...you know...it happens.

    About the plot...well, like most others have said, it's original. I'll admit that I started reading this because I really loved TOoS, but you've seriously worked magic with this plot, as dull-sounding as it might seem at first glance. And you've said that you were originally a humor writer? Well, it shows. There were dozens of laugh-out-loud moments throughout the story, even in these more serious chapters.

    Now, as for this chapter...well, to me it seemed a little bit slower than some of the others. It had its humorous highlights ("human hygenic rituals" and the awkward bathroom scene, anyone?) and it certainly had some high-quality work put into it, but...I don't think I liked it as much as some of the other chapters. I still liked it though, so don't worry. xp

    As for why I didn't like it as much...well, it was all Solonn's fault. I can't STAND people that're all emo like he was at the beginning of the chapter. All like "waaah, I hate my life and everything around me so watch as I waste myself away, waaah, b*tch, moan, angst, waaah." I found myself mentally screaming "Dude, this's your life now. Get a grip and DO something! Grrrr! >O" during the first half or so of the chapter. (of course, I might've been thinking like that because I'm passive like that. A "whatever happens, happens" kinda guy.)

    I also kinda like Jal'tai. Maybe it's because I'm someone who occasionally grows weary of certain aspects of humanity and wishes that he could be something other than human, (partly so I could run around naked without getting arrested or something for indecent exposure, but that's beside the point XP) but I think I kinda feel where he's coming from. I don't doubt that if I lived in the pokémon universe and was presented with the option of erecting an establishment in which pokémon and humans could coexist like in Convergence, I would act much like Jal'tai.

    So, er...anyway, I look forward to what Jal'tai's "drastic measures" are going to be. See you next chapter!

  13. #213
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    Kthleen:

    I felt a knowing pity for Solonn as he barely held on purely out of fear of pain from Jal’tai.
    Thanks; I'm glad to hear that was picked up on. *resists urge to slap self for ending a sentence with a preposition*

    Glad you like the Depeche Mode songs on there, too. ^^ I just love those guys to death, and those two songs in particular are some of the most fitting entries to the soundtrack, IMO.

    whit19: *does new reviewer dance, unaware that someone is filming it and laughing*

    shouldn't pointed be pointy?
    *shrugs* I've heard both used as adjectives; I admittingly just used the one I did out of preferring the way it looks and sounds. I'm no real grammarian, after all. ^^;

    Dark Latios: Glad to see good responses to Neleng. ^^ Like I said, I enjoyed writing her.

    metal_chimaera:

    I noticed those Smeargle... I guess (since you already confirmed it) that they're the same French (or British, can't remember)-speaking vandals. What was their name... something like Brad, John and Tim?...
    The thought of Meowth being Sylvester also crossed my mind though.
    Yep, those were the same smeargle. Mark, Tom, and Travis, their names were. But that really was some other meowth.

    Pinecone Tortoise:
    *feels like nitpicking* You used 'yeilded slightly' too often more my tastes!!!1!!eleven!! Both for when Jal'tai prodded the couch and sat on the bed.
    XDDDD I'd change one of those, but right now the only alternative description I can think of is "went squish"... Yeah, now I know for sure that I'm losing my touch... X3

    shouldn't he take the opportunity not only for the sake of someone else with the 'Speech' but for the sake of those he'd be helping?
    Maybe he would, under different circumstances. Maybe he would were it not for something very bizarre and bewildering hitting him out of nowhere, were it not for having something very major done to him without his consent, were it not for the fact that it truly seems to him that there's no way for things to return to normalcy, and were it not for the fact that he has had his element taken from him with no warning (his element being something to which his kind have the kind of attachment like that to family and to which he was particularly close through the routines he was taking as a contest pokémon). If he had been asked first, given choice and warning, things might very well have been different.

    Basically, a lot of (to him, at least) major things have hit too fast and too hard for him to quite respond in his usual headspace. He's been kind of thrown for a loop, and it's clouding his reason. I know he's not responding in a particularly attractive way, and it would be cool if he bucked up and got over it, but... *shrugs* Sometimes people don't react in the pretty way. Just like not everyone has a model's physique, not everyone has an unsinkable psyche.

    Ah, I picture him doing some minor grooving to teh CD player while Solonn stands and gawks.

    Jal'tai: *wiggles to da music*

    Solonn: "I got kidnapped by this?!"
    XDDDD Thanks for that awesome little bit of mental cinema there. ^^

    Kthleen:
    Sensible only because he doesn't want to be in pain, and Jal'tai can torture Solonn until he totally gives in, wins the victory over himself (who needs the self when one has a city of others?), and comes to completely love the Party- uh, I mean love his new job in his new life that was given to him without his consent but for the good of the city.
    XDDDD You win for that. X3

    Seiryu:

    It's that time again... *does new reviewer dance* ...Phew, I'm getting quite a workout lately. X3

    Er...anyway, I've been a fan of your writing style since last summer, when you started posting Origin of Storms here.
    Fwee, old school fan! ^^

    Speaking of characters, yours are absolutely WONDERFUL.
    Thanks. ^^ I still have my doubts about them sometimes, though... that may never change. ^^;



    Progress: 0%, for now. I'm at a point where there is a very great deal of critical decision where the next chapter is concened, and regarding the future of the story as a whole, as well. Can't really say right now what's in the forecast for days to come from here. All I can say at present is that the next chapter is probably going to take particularly long to see the light of day.
    Last edited by Sike Saner; 15th April 2009 at 11:42 PM.

    Current Chapter: Chapter 18 – Remnants

    COMPLETE
    Communication banner: Saffire Persian | TOoS banner: CHeSHiRe-CaT

  14. #214
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sike Saner
    *resists urge to slap self for ending a sentence with a preposition*
    It's perfectly fine to do that, actually. Unlike a lot of gammarians seem to want to believe, this isn't Latin we're speaking. This is the sort of English up with which I cannot put! (-Winston Churchill)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sike Saner
    Lol! ^___^
    Even though I know he's trying to do it "for good," the thoughts of what Jal'tai meant by "drastic measures" really did remind me of the last part of 1984. That was disturbing.     Spoiler:


    Quote Originally Posted by Sike Saner
    All I can say at present is that the next chapter is probably going to take particularly long to see the light of day.
    And we'll be right here waiting.

    I can't believe I missed the part where Solonn tried to eat the cereal with his hand! Wow. Though I know he was feeling terrible and didn't know how to eat it, that was funny.
    Last edited by Kthleen; 29th January 2006 at 11:19 PM.

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    Now that chapter was quite interesting. But the dragon is scaring me away even more, especially after the "drastic measures". Since I never read 1984, it struck me an image of Latios as Don Corleone doing a "irrefutable proposal" to poor Solonn... if you understand what I mean.     Spoiler:
    . And those Blink 182 Smeargles... they own, definitively. Good to see them again.

    And I never thought it would be so hard and emarassing to explain a bathroom to a newcomer... let alone watch a institutional video about the wonders of hygienic rituals. But maybe this is human behaviour. Or not.

    And on a off-topicness state, the mere idea of a Latios obsessed with corn flakes make me giggle. But please don't ask me the reason.
    Everyone and their granny is probably using the Shaymin avatar... not that I care, anyway.
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    Well, I finally got to reading this chapter, and I must say that I have nothing to say.

    Well, I might have stuff to say, but none of it is very coherent or really makes much sense. Out of the jumble of words that is my opinion of this chapter I've got this:

    And the ex-floating head tried to run away. Jal-tai should have introduced him to the internet- it's not like he knows how to type, but he could sorta click around and learn stuff...

    Yeah... that was a big bunch of nothing. Nice chapter though, I'm looking forward to it. But if it doesn't see the light of day for a while, does that mean streetlamps or moonlight can get it to us sooner?
    Is all the innocence of once seen gone? Can it ever truly be recovered? Fighting to the end, will the shadows always overcome? Or will the flames of the past reclaim their lost goals?

    Still here, still a lurker; as always.

  17. #217
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    I need to say this before I turn in for the night and before I explode.

    Holy Zgil-Al. I was rereading it so that I could look over anything I might have forgotten or perhaps missed. Then I read (and only got to before my sister needed the computer) chapter 6. The phrase "old man," along with the response that     Spoiler:
    and the fact that there were no other guards in the building hit me like a ton of bricks. Here's my interpretation:

        Spoiler:


    I don't know it that's entirely accurate, that's just kind of how it seems to me.

    Also, there's a point when Solonn's talking to "Morgan" where he says "Oh, good gods…When did you found out?"


    (I have class tomorrow, so I won't be able to respond to your pm tonight, Sike, but I might be able tomorrow if I'm not swamped with homework. I should bed in bed right now [~11:40 pm]....)
    Last edited by Kthleen; 30th January 2006 at 3:00 PM.

  18. #218
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    Holy....
    I've never seen anyone as talented as you at writing. Every one of your paragraphs resonates with elegance, every plot twist enough to keep a scholar guessing, and every character filled with personality. Just the way you can emulate real-life scenarios and still keep the enchantment of Pokemon is enough to blow me away. I don't kid you when I say you've got yourself the key to fame, glory and all the wealth of J. K. Rowling. If this is the standard of writers in this world, I think I'll have to start wearing a paper bag and hiding in shadows from the writing community in disgrace.
    Of course, I could just remember that I'm just 10.
    But I'll stop blathering on about your talent and get to the review. I was happy to know you're doing a Glalie fic; your TOoS was good, but it featured the not-extremely-graceful Wobbuffet. It's good that you're doing such a likable Pokemon. I was impressed by your emulations of life in Virc-Dho; the only bad part was that it was too dull. Still, I had to sit in a dark room for half an hour trying to stop laughing after the Zubat episode (I know just as much as anyone else how annoying the Bat evolutionary line is), and only then did I notice that you'd slipped in the news about the Speech with it as well.
    I liked Morgan; she proved that humans may be cynical weaklings bent on enslaving all creatures, but some do have a shred of kindness and friendliness in them.
    The most confusing plot twist is that of Jal'tai and the Sableye and the two Morgans and the memory altering and all that and I'm already getting confused and I think I'll close my mouth now. The plotline at that point resembles the wiring of my Gamecube. Then the Convergence project comes along and I have to start thinking what my intuition's trying to tell me. So it comes as a relief when at least my suspicions about Jal'tai come right. I don't really hate him; I just think that he is a bit to ambitious and that he is thinking and doing too much to ensure the safety of his ambition. And he's trying to hide it all with a cheerful demeanor. I hope he doesn't go too far; any 'drastic measures' he takes might be too much. He already fulfilled your desires and turned Solonn into a human (somehow, you've got the words Tonight, I'm a naughty girl stuck in my head), so anything more would probably cause Solonn to commit suicide. Overall, an excellent story, so keep it up!

    Ready to serve,
    Dragonfire

  19. #219
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    Kthleen:
    This is the sort of English up with which I cannot put! (-Winston Churchill)
    X3 That’s awesome.

    I can't believe I missed the part where Solonn tried to eat the cereal with his hand! Wow. Though I know he was feeling terrible and didn't know how to eat it, that was funny.
    XD That was just one of those little details that spontaneously occurred to me, unplanned. Guess it was a good thing I went with it. ^^

    *reads spoil-tagged material* Mmm… theories are tasty. But will I confirm or deny very much at this point?

    …Nah. X3 *dodges bricks with broken glass cemented to them*

    Mo Cuishle:
    And on a off-topicness state, the mere idea of a Latios obsessed with corn flakes make me giggle. But please don't ask me the reason.
    XD Again, another one of those spur-of-the-moment ideas. I just had to put that one; it makes me laugh, too. *imagines dreamlike sequence with Jal’tai dancing with Tony the Tiger in a flowery field with Frosted Flakes boxes floating by* XD

    Kaizer:
    And the ex-floating head tried to run away.
    XD I may never look at Glalie in quite the same way ever again. And out of context, that line just majorly pwns. XD

    Jal-tai should have introduced him to the internet- it's not like he knows how to type, but he could sorta click around and learn stuff...
    …Including things of which maybe he shouldn’t know (get your minds out of the gutter at once, people… X3). There are very specific things which Jal’tai desires him to learn. He created those videos with that very specific education in mind. I imagine one thing he would not be inclined to do is to give Solonn any opportunities to learn things a.) for which he might not yet be “ready”, in Jal’tai’s opinion, or b.) that might somehow clash with other aspects of Solonn’s education.

    But if it doesn't see the light of day for a while, does that mean streetlamps or moonlight can get it to us sooner?
    That made me smile. ^^

    DragonFire2: New reviewer! *newly-created new reviewer fanfare plays, complete with burst of confetti and pyro… that catches the confetti on fire, raining flaming confetti all over everything* o.o; Oops… X3;

    It's good that you're doing such a likable Pokemon. I was impressed by your emulations of life in Virc-Dho; the only bad part was that it was too dull.
    *shrugs* That it is. Just kind of comes with the territory, I guess; the Virc lead a very sheltered existence and have for a long time. Throughout this time, there has been an aura of caution and even superstition and paranoia surrounding their ways. They don’t get out much, generally keeping to their own kind and living very much for the comforts of routine and familiarity. So yeah, not a lot really goes on down there in the Virc community.

        Spoiler:


    I don't really hate him; I just think that he is a bit to ambitious and that he is thinking and doing too much to ensure the safety of his ambition.
    Bingo. ^^
    Last edited by Sike Saner; 9th April 2010 at 6:13 AM.

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  20. #220
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sike Saner
    XD That was just one of those little details that spontaneously occurred to me, unplanned. Guess it was a good thing I went with it. ^^
    Even the little things can bring great joy. (Or something like that.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sike Saner
    *reads spoil-tagged material* Mmm….theories are tasty. But will I confirm or deny very much at this point?

    ….Neh.
    I expected as much, but I just wanted to get it out of my head so I could sleep better.




    ...Something occurred to me this morning because I was thinking about The Origin of Storms. I don't quite know the significance or if it was fully intentional (or are you having a bit of fun with food you don't like?), but I just found it somewhat interesting. If I remember correctly, both TOoS and Communication have focused a bit on

        Spoiler:
    Last edited by Kthleen; 1st February 2006 at 6:43 PM.

  21. #221
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    O_o Sike… that was surreal. I never imagined a Latios doing what we do, watching DVDs and all. Everything was described in a brilliantly but there were some grammar/spelling errors. Such as this one:

    three cops nodded in acknowledgment, the Medicham releasing her hold on Solonn before walking out the door.
    Try replacing that with ‘released’. See if that makes more sense.

    I predicted that Solonn’s attitude would still be silent with hate towards Jal’tai, I mean who wouldn’t? I liked the part when Jal’tai attempted to explain how to use the toilets to Solonn, it made do this *Snort*.

    Things I like to point out for fun:
    “Humanity and You”
    Laughed at that because it reminds me of one those old black-and-white guides you see on TV. BTW, does “Posting and You” sound familiar?

    Beside him, a small image of three Smeargle being led out of a building by a Medicham in a police uniform and two Houndoom with badges affixed to collars around their necks appeared.
    These three Smeargle. They sound familiar don’t they? *Pretends to think, knows where they came from*

    351 channels? XDXDXDXD kudos for that significant number!
    XD 351! LOL!

    Find out what Jal’tai means by “drastic measures”…See you then!
    Jal’tai isn’t gonna turn Solonn into Kunta Kente and chop his foot off is he?

    Apart from the grammar/spelling errors, which I recommend you to double check on, excellent.

    Overall score: 5/5
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  22. #222
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    Kthleen:
    If I remember correctly, both TOoS and Communication have focused a bit on

        Spoiler:
    Yep, a shared mini-theme of sorts.     Spoiler:


    Brian Powell:
    Laughed at that because it reminds me of one those old black-and-white guides you see on TV.
    XD Yeah, that's exactly what those were based on. Those things crack me up, especially the "your body" type ones they made for teenagers... XD

    BTW, does “Posting and You” sound familiar?
    Oh yeah... XD
    Last edited by Sike Saner; 9th April 2010 at 6:20 AM.

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    What follows is the longest chapter I have written to date. So if you want to go get a snack or a drink, or if you have to tinkle….yeah. You might want to take care of that now.
    I sprayed my drink over the couch. Not even into the chapter did I laugh. xP

    “I'll admit, most of those three hundred and fifty-one channels are pure rubbish around the clock,”
    a small image of three Smeargle being led out of a building by a Medicham in a police uniform
    Both=ROFL!

    I love how you make a Pokemon world mixed in a human world, Medichams are police=laughability.

    For some reason I feel as if my only purpose here to to post. I know I suck at reviews when I enjoy the chapter too much. xP

    ~Ratiasu
    My tumblr or something: x

  24. #224
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    Ratiasu:
    Medichams are police=laughability.
    XD Yeah. I remember when I came up with that... I needed a cop, and while I had already thought of the houndoom, I also kind of wanted something else to go with them, something that could kind of hold on to someone without dragging them in their jaws. Also, I really wanted to put something non-human in a human-style cop uniform for sheer silliness. XD At first, I decided to go with a medicham simply because that was the first pokémon I pictured in the unform that really made me laugh, but then I actually got around to using that and found that I really liked the way it worked in that context.

    For some reason I feel as if my only purpose here to to post. I know I suck at reviews when I enjoy the chapter too much. xP
    Naw, now I don't think that review sucked. Seriously, you did let me know what you thought of what you were reading here, and I was quite glad to see what you had to say. All feedback in this thread is appreciated. ^^
    Last edited by Sike Saner; 9th April 2010 at 6:22 AM.

    Current Chapter: Chapter 18 – Remnants

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        Spoiler:
    That's something that invoked (sorry, can't remember the right word) my curiosity as well. I always wondered how carnivorous Pokemon could stand murdering and eating other sentient creatures. At least, I wouldn't eat my sister, no matter how annoying she is.

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