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Thread: Eternal Seraph

  1. #1
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    Post Eternal Seraph

    Alright this is my first fic but I'm gonna give it a shot, I thought up this idea a while ago but it required some serious tweaking and now I think it is ready to go.
    This fic is rated TV-14 for blood, violence, mild language, and slight alcohol reference.

    *Disclaimer = I do not own Pokemon, yadda...yadda...yadda


    Prologue: The Gauntlet


    Screams shook the arena, the brown human-like creature was taken towards the stadium, it felt the familiar piercing of its skin by the needle as the humans finished their preparations and released it into the grand coliseum like dome. Then, like it had done many times before, it let the powerful drug-induced rage consume it, losing all memory of its moves and skills it had learned over the years.

    Over the speakers, the announcer’s voice rang out like a thousand trumpets,” NOW OUR RETURNING CHAMPION, THE PISTON PUNCHING POKEMON, HITMONCHAN!!!!” The crowd roared as the human-like creature leaped out of its cage in a blind fury. “NOW, IT’S CHALLENGER, THE ARMOR POKEMON, TYRANITAR!!!!” Just like the Hitmonchan, this green dinosaur-like Pokemon rumbled out of its cage filled with an evident rage.

    The Hitmonchan charged towards its opponent ready to kill. The Tyranitar brought its right claw down in a powerful slash, but the Hitmonchan adeptly hopped back and brought its gloved fist into a powerful uppercut right in the dinosaur-like Pokemon’s stomach, followed by a flurry of punches right in the same spot. Ignoring the pain, the Tyranitar brought its claw down with another slash, this time leaving a deep gash across the Hitmonchan’s chest. Both of the Pokemon leaped away, signs of fatigue showing on both their faces, the Hitmonchan with a slash mark across its chest, and the Tyranitar had a crack in its armor right where the Hitmonchan had landed all of its punches, oozing a black liquid substance, evidently blood.

    “OOH, WHAT A SHOW FOLKS! DON’T WORRY I’M SURE THERE’S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.”

    Almost like that was their cue, both of the Pokemon charged towards each other in an artificial rage…

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    “How’s the SWC coming along?”

    “We are at about 50% completion Lord Saix, but we have yet to find an ample energy source.”

    “I see, what about our other plans?”

    “Well, we have just obtained the red and blue orbs; we have men stationed outside Ilex Forest and Millennium Valley; and our scientists are almost done deciphering the Old Sea Chart.”

    “Very good, see to it that everything goes as planned.”

    “Yes sir.”

    “Of course Lord Saix. Now, I beg your leave.”

    “Fine, do as you will.”
    Last edited by Kyuubii; 26th May 2006 at 10:10 PM.
    ~Divine Casualties Vol. 1: Aphotic Dawn~
    Silly little mortal. You think because you've lived more than one lifetime you can sway the Creator's will? Do not overstep your bounds. You lower beings are nothing more than tools.

  2. #2
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    Sorry about the DP but here's chapter one for all of my non-existant reviewers/closet readers:

    Chapter 1: New Beginnings


    It was a beautiful day in the middle of March; a crisp cool breeze flowed through the air the sun shined off the morning dew like a rainbow. In the quiet village of Pallet Town a new journey was about to begin.

    “Maverick… Maverick… MAVERICK FIURA, WAKE UP DAMMIT!”

    “I’m up, I’m up. What’s the hurry? I don’t have to be at Oak’s for another hour,” a teenage boy, about fourteen years old groggily rolled out of his bed, pushing his medium long brown hair out of his eyes.

    “Something horrible has happened. Hurry up and turn on your T.V. to channel seven!” his mom said with a hint of urgency in her voice.

    “You got it.” Maverick grabbed his remote and pressed the Power button as the T.V. sparked to life.

    A pretty female reporter stood with a microphone outside what Maverick recognized as Professor Oak’s Pokemon lab, “We’re coming to you live from Pallet Town where the illustrious Professor Oak has just recently been kidnapped along with one of the three Kanto starter Pokemon. He normally gives out these rare Pokemon to teenagers wishing to start their journeys as trainers. Our sources tell us that two of the three children that were supposed to start out on their journeys today left prior to the kidnapping. As for the third, it is unknown if he or she will even go on to take the Gym Leader Challenge. Back to you Tom…”

    “You’ve gotta be friggin’ kidding me! I’ve been looking forward to this my entire life! Why now?!” the boy exclaimed.

    His mom strode up into his room, a nice woman in her mid 30’s wearing her usual pink flowery blouse covered by a white apron; she obviously had been cooking something. “Don’t you think you’re being a little selfish?” she asked, “What about Professor Oak?”

    “Screw Professor Oak! Now I’ll never be a trainer, I bet Raven and Ivy are long gone by now,” he retorted.

    “Honey, I realize that you’re upset, but that is no reason to be so rude. Ivy and Jeremy are probably worried sick. Now get dressed and come down here, you have someone here to see you.”

    “Alright, alright. I’ll be right down.” Maverick pulled on his slightly baggy blue jeans and fastened the silver buckle on his signature black belt. He grabbed his plain black t-shirt and his black shoes with three white stripes running down either side. Running out of the room, he snatched a silver chain and put it on his neck as he ran down the stairs.

    A tall nerdy looking man stood in the doorway. He was wearing a white lab coat over a light blue collared shirt, brown dress pants, and thick half-moon glasses. He had a brown tuft of hair sitting atop his egg shaped head.

    “Hello you must be Maverick; I’m Professor Elm from Johto. I’m an old friend of Professor Oak. I’m assuming you heard what happened,” the researcher inquired.

    “Yeah, I heard, and let me tell you it sucks big time. I was supposed to leave today.”

    “Yes about that, I would like for you to come by Professor Oak’s lab with me. Of course if it’s alright with your mother,” he said turning towards Mrs. Fiura.

    “Of course, I was expecting him to leave forever today; it doesn’t matter if he’s away for a couple hours.”

    “Alright then, now Maverick would you come with me please?”

    “Sure,” he replied, obviously still steamed about not being able to leave.

    The pair strode outside into the cool spring day, shielding their eyes from the bright morning sun. They started walking through the cluster of people crowded outside the hilltop laboratory where Professor Oak and his grandson and assistant Jeremy do all of their groundbreaking research.

    “Wow, I didn’t know that this many people even knew the Professor,” Maverick said in awe.

    “Professor Oak is well known throughout every region, it is not a surprise that all of these people are gathered here,” Elm replied, “I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them are all the way from Orre.”

    A burly police officer stood in front of the door, “Ah, Professor Elm, I heard you’d be coming by. And who would this be?” he asked, turning to Maverick.

    Before Maverick could open his mouth to speak, Elm interrupted him, “This is Maverick Fiura, he is the third child that was supposed to start the Gym Leader Challenge today.”

    “Ah yes, Jeremy was looking for you, go on in,” he motioned to another cop on the inside of the glass doors who pressed a red button as the doors slid open.

    Almost as soon as they stepped in, a young man about Maverick’s age wearing a similar lab coat as Professor Elm’s ran up and greeted them, “Maverick, how’s it going? I see you’ve met Professor Elm, he’s an old friend of my grandpa’s.”

    “So I’ve heard,” Maverick replied, “listen Jeremy, I’m really sorry about what happened. I wish there was something I could do.”

    “Thank you, but you know I believe there is something you can do to help us. You see, we’ve come to the assumption that Grandpa was abducted by one of the two criminal organizations that have risen since the disbandment of Team Rocket four years ago. You might have heard of them, they call themselves Neo Genesis and Team Insanus, they each have their own separate wicked goals and must be stopped.”

    “Well what does this have to do with me?” Maverick asked puzzled.

    “You see we were hoping that you, my sister, and Raven could try and take rescue my grandpa and try and stop them while you’re all on you separate journeys.”

    “Alright, first of all I’m not even going on a journey because whoever abducted Professor Oak also took the last starter Pokemon. Secondly even if I did get a starter we wouldn’t even stand a chance against one of their weakest members.”

    Professor Elm intruded upon the conversation, “You see that’s where I come in, although the Professor’s Charmander was stolen, I brought a Fire Pokemon of my own with me. You might not know this, but my specialty is Pokemon eggs and what we call ‘Baby’ Pokemon. I’d like you to meet your first Pokemon: Magby.”

    He tossed a red and white Pokeball into the air. This exploded in a flash of white light, releasing a small red Pokemon with a short tail, tiny white claws, a yellow underbelly, and a yellow tube-like mouth. It let out a soft cry and looked happily at Maverick, “Magby, mag.”

    “Wow! A Magby! But wait a minute; I thought according to international law you weren’t allowed to bring Pokemon from one region to another if they weren’t native to that region unless you have a special permit.”

    “Well, you’re only half right, you see Magby evolves into Magmar which is a native Pokemon to the Kanto region found in the Cinnabar Volcano. Thus it is perfectly legal to own a Magby in Kanto,” Jeremy replied in an I’m so much smarter than you tone.

    “Okay I get that now, but what about the whole us stopping the teams by ourselves thing, I seriously don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

    “We understand that completely, that’s why we want you, Raven, and Ivy to still continue your journey and battle them when you run into them. It’s not like we’re just gonna throw three inexperienced trainers right out into the fray like that.”

    “Alright, looks like I’m going to be leaving anyway, so what will I need?”

    “Well, first of all you’re going to need a couple Pokeballs to use,” Professor Elm said, pulling five red and white balls out of a box and handing them to Maverick, along with the one that was until recently holding Magby. “Next, you’ll need a Pokedex,” he took a red box shaped device off of the table, “it’ll keep track of every Pokemon you’ve ever seen or owned. This button here will show you the moves of the Pokemon you have with you, this one will show you what Pokemon are found in the current area you’re in, and this one will give you information on a certain Pokemon. Next thing you’ll need is a trainer ID; I believe Professor Oak already had one made for you.” He rummaged through a pile of papers, “Here we are,” Maverick glanced down at the card he held in his hand, it had an ID number as well as a picture Maverick recognized as his school picture from the past year. It also had a barcode running across the top that Maverick deduced was for buying things, like with a credit card. “Finally you’ll need a Pokenav so we can keep in touch with you, Raven, and Ivy in case we hear any news about Neo Genesis or Team Insanus.”

    Maverick looked at all of the things he had placed on the table in front of him, “But how are you going to keep in touch with Raven and Ivy if only I have a Pokenav?” he inquired.

    “Well you see, you three are going to be traveling together,” replied Jeremy.

    “What?! But Raven and Ivy left this morning, how am I supposed to catch up with them?”

    “We contacted them at the Pokemon Center in Viridian City, it turns out they were already traveling together, and they said they’d wait for you to get there.”

    “Alright, but how the heck am I supposed to carry all this junk?” Maverick asked motioning towards the things that lay on the table.

    “I believe I have something for that,” Professor Elm pulled out a grey bag from among his things, “in here you can keep any kind of items like Potions, Antidotes, or whatever, along with extra Pokeballs. The Pokenav and Pokeballs you already have can be clipped onto your belt and the Pokedex you can just stick in your pocket. If there’s anything else just let us know.”

    “No, I think I’m good to go, you ready Magby?”

    “Magby, mag,”

    “Alright we’re off,” Maverick slid the Pokedex into his pocket, clipped the Pokenav and Pokeballs onto his belt, flung the bag over his shoulder, and started to leave the room, Magby at his heels.

    “Wait! Maverick, I’d like you to have this,” Jeremy said, stopping Maverick in his tracks. He slid an earpiece looking thing into Maverick’s hand, “This is a Pokecomunicator, or Pokecom for short. It allows you to talk with Pokemon, my grandpa and I just invented it, and we gave a pair to Ivy and Raven already.”

    “Thanks Jeremy, and I’ll find your grandpa, no matter what. Let’s go for real this time Magby!”

    And so began a new journey…
    Last edited by Kyuubii; 25th May 2006 at 8:13 PM.
    ~Divine Casualties Vol. 1: Aphotic Dawn~
    Silly little mortal. You think because you've lived more than one lifetime you can sway the Creator's will? Do not overstep your bounds. You lower beings are nothing more than tools.

  3. #3
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    This chapter was okay. It wasn't very compelling. Maverick is a cool charachter though. I like how you gave him a sense of style too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyuubii
    Raven could try and take rescue my grandpa and try and stop them while you’re all on you separate journeys.”
    That was the only typo I could find. Good editing for your first fic. Superb description during the Hitmonchan vs T-Tar fight. I like your style of writing and look foward to the next chapter. My spidey sense is telling me that there is a great plot in the making...
    Last edited by Leon Phelps; 26th May 2006 at 12:19 AM.

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    Default First Review!!!

    I really enjoyed reading this, you have an excellent story in the making, and if you described scenes a little bit more, you would have an A fic right here. One thing's for sure, I will certainly keep an eye on this. It has great potential.

    Edit: dang, Blitzkrieg beat me to it.
    Last edited by The Dean of Suds; 25th May 2006 at 9:57 PM.

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    The prologue was pretty good. I liked the Hitmonchan vs. Tyranitar fight. I couldn't help but feel sorry for them due to their being made to fight in artificially-induced rage, of course.

    As for chapter 1: Professor Oak's abduction was an unexpected surprise. I was very glad to see Magby as Maverick's first Pokémon. Those things are cute as frell, and since its evolved form is one of my old favorites among Pokémon, there's something else to like about it.

    I'll stick around to see where this is going. ^^
    DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK
    (Or do. I don't actually mind.)
    The Origin of Storms | Communication

  6. #6
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    Thank you all for the reviews I'm glad evey one liked the Hitmonchan vs. Tyranitar fight. Seeing as though I had a ridiculous amount of free time yesterday and today, here's Chapter 2:

    Chapter 2: Friends New and Old


    The sun glared down upon Route 1, a crisp cool breeze flowed through the air. A perfect day for traveling, thought a young brown haired trainer, a Magby trailing by his side. This was Maverick Fiura, a relative stranger to the world of a Pokemon trainer; he had just started his journey and was traveling to Viridian City to meet up with his friends: Ivy Rose and Raven Valentine.

    “I wonder if this Pokecom thing really works,” he said aloud while looking down at the earpiece in his hand. He shoved the strange object into his left ear and felt a weird sensation ripple down his spine, shaken a bit he traveled along his path.

    <I really wanna battle, can we battle? Not like you can understand me anyway,> an annoyed voice spoke out.

    “We’ll battle as soon as we find some wild Pokemon or somethin’, don’t worry,” Maverick replied to the voice. Then, realizing that the voice had come from his Magby, Maverick turned around, a look of surprise on his face, “Did you just say that?!”

    <Yeah I did, so what…Wait! You understood what I said?!> the tiny magma Pokemon exclaimed.

    “Wow, I guess this Pokecom thing really does work, cool.”

    Suddenly, a small bird Pokemon flew out of the sky, it had brown and white creamy feathers, a pink beak, and black rings around its eyes. The Pokemon let out a high pitched scream, “Piiiiidgeeey.”

    <Holy disgruntled birds Batman, it’s a Pidgey,> Magby yelled.

    “You’re right! Wait, Batman?! Anyway, let’s battle it!”

    <Oh, yeah! … What should I do?>

    “Umm, well I was hoping you would know,” Maverick said in a slightly distressed tone. Before they could react, the Pidgey came in for a full body tackle, ramming into Magby with great force.

    “What should we do now?”

    <Use your Pokedethingy.>

    “Oh, okay,” Maverick took the red box shaped device out of his pocket and pressed a big blue button, aiming the receiver at Magby. The screen displayed a list of different attacks and moves that were available to the little Pokemon. Finding the first one he could, Maverick yelled out an attack, “Use Ember.”

    <You got it.> Magby opened his mouth wide and let loose a spray of red hot pellets towards the tiny bird, burning it in many places and almost instantly fainting it.

    “Well that was ridiculously easy,” Maverick said, in a state of semi-shock.

    <It was only a Pidgey, it shouldn’t have been that hard to begin with,> Magby said sarcastically.

    “Eh, I guess you’re right.” The pair had numerous battles much like that one, some against Pidgey, some against Rattatta, and every so often one against a Spearow, until finally…

    “Viridian City! We’re finally here; well we might as well head to the Pokemon Center and get you all healed up. Plus, Jeremy said Ivy and Raven would be there too.”

    Both of them strutted into town like they owned the place, cocky from all of their easy victories against the extremely weak Pokemon of Route 1. They walked right up to a large white building with a red roof. On the front of the building there was a pair of sliding glass doors right next to a sign that read P.C., obviously standing for Pokemon Center. Maverick pressed the red button next to the sign and the doors slid open, revealing a vast majority of trainers tending to hurt or injured Pokemon a quick survey of his surroundings told Maverick that most of the trainers there were young kids wearing shorts looking after Rattata.

    Walking right up to the front desk and the pink-haired nurse that worked there, Maverick tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around sharply and said in a very polite tone, “Hello I’m Nurse Joy and welcome to the Viridian City Pokemon Center. Might I ask your name?”

    “Hey I’m Maverick. Look, I just got here from Pallet Town; do you think I could rent a room and leave my Pokemon here for the night as well?”

    “Well sure you can rent a room, but thanks to modern technology it shouldn’t take us an entire night to heal your Pokemon. It should take only up to ten minutes.”

    “Wow thanks.” Maverick said, handing her Magby’s Pokeball, “well as long as I’m waiting I might as well find Raven and Ivy. Now where could they be…?”

    After looking around for about five minutes a loud female voice exclaimed, “Maverick!” making everyone in the Center jump and turn towards the doors.

    Standing there was a girl about Maverick’s age and just a bit taller. She had a very “outdoorsy” look; she wore a pair of brown cargo pants, hiking boots, a black tank top covered by a red windbreaker, and a green belt with small pockets for carrying items. The girl also wore a red headband that covered her forehead and a large portion of her brown hair. Along side her strode a small dinosaur looking Pokemon with a green bulb on its back called Bulbasaur, and there was also a Pidgey perched on her shoulder.

    “Hey, what’s up?” a boy the same age but about two inches taller than the girl was leaning up against the wall behind her. He sported navy sweatpants, white running shoes, a silver vest covering a plain red t-shirt, and a black bag hung off of both his shoulders. Next to him was a small blue turtle Pokemon known as Squirtle attempting to lean up against the wall as he was, but to no avail as his shell got in the way and instead fell flat on his *ss.

    Laughing slightly at what he had just seen, Maverick greeted his old friends, “Raven, Ivy, how’s it goin’?”

    “It’s been goin’ great!” an overly ecstatic Ivy answered.

    “It’s been a living hell,” Raven added silently while flipping his namesake raven colored hair out of his eyes.

    “What was that?!”

    “Nothing,” Raven said hastily, “so Maverick, I guess we’ll be traveling together, just make sure to watch out for psycho chick over here,” he added nodding towards Ivy.

    “Raven, all three of us have known each other since we were like two, I know how erm… outgoing she can be.”

    “Hello, I’m right here!”

    “Raven do you hear something?”

    “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied smiling.

    “Alright, you know what? Screw you guys! We’re leaving, come on Venus,” Ivy said in an annoyed tone. Sticking her tongue out, she turned her heel and started to walk away.

    <Yeah> the Bulbusaur at her feet said following her out the door.

    “Ivy, wait. You know we were just kidding. Besides, Jeremy told us to travel together; you don’t want to upset your big brother, now do you?” Maverick said with an undertone of panic and sarcasm in his voice.

    “You’re right. How would I have even gotten that far without you big strong men to protect me?” Ivy replied, saying the last bit in a very sarcastic tone.

    “Um excuse me, Mr. Maverick? Your Magby is ready,” Nurse Joy said coming almost out of nowhere.

    “What the? Oh, thank you,” he replied, taking the red and white Pokeball from her hands and placing it on his belt.

    “Oh! I almost forgot, Maverick I’d like to introduce you to Ace my Pidgey, and Venus my Bulbasaur,” Ivy said proudly.

    <Hey!> Venus exclaimed in almost the exact same tone as Ivy, while her Pidgey remained silent.

    “Oh great, that’s just what we need, another Ivy.”

    “<Hey what’s that supposed to mean?!>” trainer and Pokemon exclaimed in unison.

    “Nothing! So anyway, why Venus? I don’t think planets have anything to do with grass Pokemon.”

    “Not the planet stupid, the plant, the Venus flytrap? You know, beautiful but deadly?”

    “Oh, okay. So Raven, did you nickname your Pokemon?”

    “No I personally think nicknames are kind of stupid, this is Squirtle, just Squirtle.”

    “Yeah, I agree. Oh, and by the way, I’d like you meet Magby!” Maverick unclipped his single Pokeball from his belt a tossed it into the air. The sphere exploded in a burst of light, revealing the small magma Pokemon.

    <Hello Viridian City!> he exclaimed, <Who are these punks?>

    “Magby, these are Ivy, Raven, Venus, Ace, and Squirtle,” Maverick said, pointing to each one of them in turn, “they’ll be traveling with us from now on.”

    <Oh…> then turning to Squirtle, he said <I bet you ten bucks I can beat you in a battle!>

    Speaking for the first time, he said <Buzz off loser.> Then turning to Raven, he asked, <Why are all of your friends idiots?>

    <Whatdidyoujustsay?> Magby replied hastily.

    Before a fight could break out the three trainers returned their Pokemon to their respective Pokeballs.

    “Well I rented a room for the night,” Maverick said, breaking the silence, “until then I guess we could explore the town a bit.”

    “Sounds like a plan!” Ivy yelled, shoving her fist in the air.

    “This is gonna be a long journey…” Maverick and Raven said in unison.

    The threesome traveled around town going from store to store, stopping every two seconds so Ivy could try something on or check out some jewelry just so she could let it be and not buy it. When they reached the edge of town towards Viridian Forest they ran into a very strange old man who wouldn’t let them pass by.

    “Where’s my coffee? Hello Johnny, how was school today? I said I wanted onions on my pizza, ONIONS!” he ranted.

    A young girl was with him, “Hello, I’m Tara and this grandfather Aaron. I apologize for his behavior, you see his third wife just left him and he went to the bar, and kinda had too much to drink. He should be fine by morning so if you need to pass through, then you’re going to have to wait, once again I apologize.”

    The three of them just stood there staring in awe of just how drunk the poor man was until Maverick broke the silence, “Don’t worry, we weren’t planning on leaving ‘till tomorrow anyway. Come on guys, let’s go.”

    As they were walking away Ivy was the first one to speak, “That guy was really drunk wasn’t he?”

    “I think I speak for all of us when I say: No, Really?” Raven replied, “So anyway, Maverick, you wanna head back to the Pokemon Center, or what?”

    “Well, I was hoping we could check out the Indigo Plateau first before heading back if that’s alright with you guys.”

    “Sure why not? How about you Ivy?”

    “Okay whatever,” she replied, still steamed about Raven’s earlier comment.

    “Alright let’s go.” The trio started heading to the east of town, passing by more stores which Maverick had to pry Ivy away from, some fields of grass, and eventually a lake. Until finally, about the time that dusk had fallen they approached a monolithic building with glass sliding doors much like that of the Pokemon Center, except these one had a picture of a Pokeball on them. On either side of the doors there was a white pillar, on one of them there was a sign that read:

    Welcome trainers all to the pinnacle of all your hard work and training.
    From this point on, only those with all eight official Indigo League Badges may pass.
    The road ahead is a test of all the skills that you’ve learned over the course of your journey.
    Good luck as you pass beyond the road of victory.


    “Looks like we can’t get in since we don’t have all of the badges, or any badges for that matter,” Maverick said, disappointed.

    “Oh well,” Ivy said, “We saw it, so can we go back now? I really gotta go.”

    “Fine, fine, just hold it in won’tcha?”

    As the three of them were setting off, Maverick noticed something, “Hold on, I think I just saw something in the water.” Looking closer, Maverick noticed a red claw, “What is that?”

    “Maybe it’s a Pokemon,” Raven suggested.

    “Well, there’s only one way to find out,” Maverick threw Magby’s Pokeball high up into the air. “Go Magby!” The baby Pokemon appeared in the normal white light, ready and able to go.

    <What’s goin’ on?>

    “Magby, do you see that red claw-looking thing in the water over there?”

    <Yeah.>

    “Well I want you to hit that with an Ember attack.”

    <You got it.>

    A jet of orange, flaming pellets flew towards the strange thing in the water, striking it and causing some of the surrounding water to vaporize. The steam revealed a small crab like Pokemon.

    <Ouch! It burns! Help me! Help me!>

    “Wow, a Krabby, I didn’t even know they lived around here… I’m gonna catch it!” Maverick exclaimed.

    The Krabby seemed to have noticed their presence, as it now looked horrified, <Ahh! Don’t hurt me! Don’t hurt me!> the small crab exclaimed, hiding itself behind its claws.

    Magby started getting a bit excited, <Lemme at ‘im, Lemme at ‘im.>

    But Maverick stopped him in his tracks, “Hold on buddy, I think he doesn’t want to fight right now.” He started bending down towards the Krabby, and looked him straight in the eyes, “I know you don’t want to fight, but would you like to join up with us anyway?”

    He slowly nodded his head, <As long as you don’t hurt me, I’ll be fine.>

    “Okay,” Maverick unclipped a red and white Pokeball from his belt and dropped it onto the little crab, absorbing him in a flash of red light. The ball shook three times before a ping was heard, signifying the capture of the Pokemon.

    Maverick picked up the ball from off the ground and returned Magby to his. “And then there were two,” he said looking down at the Pokeballs in his hands and clipping them onto his belt.

    Ivy spoke up first, “Maverick, it’s great and all how you caught a Krabby but…”

    “Yes Ivy?”

    “I really gotta go!”
    ~Divine Casualties Vol. 1: Aphotic Dawn~
    Silly little mortal. You think because you've lived more than one lifetime you can sway the Creator's will? Do not overstep your bounds. You lower beings are nothing more than tools.

  7. #7
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    Once again, great detail and description. Magby kinda reminds me of Scrappy Doo, "Lemme at ‘im". That was pretty cool.

    To me, Maverick's personality seemed to change since the first chapter. Overall you did a good job of bringing out the Ivy and Raven's characters, but I can tell you've improved on this since the first chapter. The group's actually interesting in this fic.

    Nothing wrong with this chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next.
    Blitzkrieg gives it an 8.5/10.

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    Thumbs up

    That chapter was very good. I think you have definently improved sence last chapter, as it is evident in improved description and binging out character personalities, which you did very well, I might add. I am certainly enjoying this fic, and I can't wait for the next chapter!

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    Thanks for the reviews you two. BTW the next chapter is almsot done and should be finished in the next day or two.
    ~Divine Casualties Vol. 1: Aphotic Dawn~
    Silly little mortal. You think because you've lived more than one lifetime you can sway the Creator's will? Do not overstep your bounds. You lower beings are nothing more than tools.

  10. #10
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    Sorry about the double post, but its time for the next chapter. Enjoy:
    Chapter 3: Angel


    The rain was coming down hard, the various Pokemon of the Ilex Forest were running to their various homes. Three figures stood outside a wooden shrine located in the middle of the forest, they wore white jumpsuits with a picture of the Earth on each one. Two of them were wearing black helmets with white stripes running down the side while the other one was much larger than them and wore no helmet, revealing some short brown hair and piercing blue eyes.

    “Larxene, Zane, get into position,” the one without the helmet commanded.

    “Yes sir General Brian,” a male and female voice responded. The two of them moved silently to opposite sides of the shrine, Pokeballs in hand.

    The large man known as General Brian looked at a watch he had around his wrist, “Three, two, one… Showtime.”

    The shrine was engulfed in a faint green light which thickened and thickened as the seconds passed by and eventually burst out in a great flash, illuminating the whole forest. As the light retreated back to the wooden shrine, a small green Pokemon stood there; it had understanding blue eyes, green, grass-like ‘hair,’ and twin antennae sticking out of its head. The small Pokemon hummed in a happy tone, until it noticed it was being watched and looked around quickly.

    It was too late; the three were upon it and chucking their Pokeballs violently towards the ground.

    “Go Manectric!”

    “Go Marshtomp!”

    “Go Salamence!”

    The three Pokemon surrounded the Guardian of Time known as Celebi. The one standing in front of the general was a large dragon with a long tail, long, powerful claws, and giant red wings, a sign of great power. This dragon however, was of a rare variety known as a ‘shiny’ as it was green in color instead of the regular light blue.

    The Pokemon standing in front of the female agent named Larxene was a lion shaped Pokemon with a blue body, and yellow spots on the front paws and hind legs, as well as a yellow ‘horn’ sticking out of its head.

    The final Pokemon standing in front of Zane was a small mud fish Pokemon with a light blue body, an orange underbelly and orange cheeks, and grey fins sticking out of its head and legs. This Pokemon, despite the circumstances, was wearing a huge smile on its face.


    “Alpha formation!” the general screamed.

    Salamence flew high up in the air averting Celebi’s gaze. While the legendary Pokemon was distracted, Marshtomp wet the ground in front of it with a jet of water and Manectric sent tiny tendrils of electricity through it. The tendrils grew and grew as they went along the path of water until they hit Celebi, paralyzing it on the spot. Then, Salamence followed up by shooting a jet of green flames towards Celebi, paralyzing it even further. Finally, the General took out a gold and silver ball from his pocket which bore the letters GS.

    “You’re mine!” he exclaimed, throwing the strange ball at Celebi. The ball hit the Pokemon and absorbed it in a flash of gold light; it shook three times and made a ‘pinging’ noise, capturing the legendary Pokemon.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    Meanwhile, in another forest in the continent of Kanto, three trainers, one girl and two boys, were on their way to Pewter City. The girl looked as though she was having a very good time, and as for the two boys, they looked as though they had recently gone through hell.

    “Ivy, can we stop for a little bit? Maverick and I are beat.”

    “Shut up and keep going Raven, we’re almost there,” Ivy replied. This was actually true, after walking around the maze-like Viridian Forest for about four hours the trio of new Pokemon trainers were almost to their destination.

    Suddenly, a boy about ten years old and wearing black short, a blue t-shirt, and a round, wicker hat jumped out of the trees. “Hey, I’m Jimmy, battle me now!

    Maverick stepped up, seemingly reinvigorated, “Sure why not? Go Krabby!” He threw his red and white Pokeball into the air and it exploded in a flash of white light revealing a frightened crab-like Pokemon. This Pokemon was red with a white under belly and limbs as well as two red claws which were each about half the size of his body.

    <Don’t hurt me!> the small Pokemon exclaimed while hiding behind Maverick’s leg.

    “That’s kind of a scaredy cat Pokemon you have there now isn’t it buddy?” Jeremy said insultingly.

    “Shut up short stuff,” Maverick said, annoyed by the fact that his Krabby was scared by anything that breathed. Well, if Krabby still isn’t gonna battle, then I’ll have to go with, “Magby! Come on out!” Similar to Krabby, the small magma Pokemon burst out of its Pokeball as Maverick threw it into the air.

    <Autobots, roll out!> he exclaimed with much enthusiasm.

    “Darn a fire Pokemon, oh well, go Weedle!” A small caterpillar-like bug Pokemon emerged from his Pokeball; it had a brown body, a large red nose, and a single white horn emerging from its head.

    “Well this should be easy,” Maverick said confidently, “use Ember!”

    Magby let loose a volley of orange pellets of flame upon its opponent, hitting the Weedle with excessive force and sending it into an unconscious state.

    Maverick and co. strutted past the defeated trainer, “Now if you’ll excuse us, let’s get the heck outta here.”

    The group soon emerged outside the forest and onto the road known as Route 3, Maverick and Raven gasping for breath while Ivy looked just fine. Raven was the first one to speak, “Finally, now can we head to the Pokemon Center? I’m dead tired and so is Maverick.”

    “Okay fine,” Ivy replied, “let’s hurry up though, I wanna see the museum.”

    Raven, Ivy, and Maverick entered Pewter City tired and beaten. They walked past grey houses, a bustling marketplace, colorful flowers and right up to the red roofed white building known as the Pokemon Center. Ivy burst through the double doors and walked up to counter through the crowd of trainers.

    “Hello, how may I help you today?” the nurse behind the counter asked in a cheerful tone.

    “Hey! Me and my lazy friends over there want our Pokemon healed, okay?” Ivy said in a very rude way.

    “Sure, now just let me see your Pokemon and it’ll take about ten minutes to finish,” the nurse replied, taking the trio’s Pokeballs.

    “Alright! So guys, while we wait do you wanna go see the museum?” Ivy exclaimed, turning towards her friends in the process.

    “No, let’s rest first,” the other two replied in unison.

    “Museum!”

    “Rest!”

    “Museum!”

    “Rest!”

    They went on like this for about ten minutes until finally, “Excuse me, Ms. Ivy you’re Pokemon are ready.”

    Ivy turned around with a stupefied look on her face, “Huh? Oh yeah, thanks.” She took the Pokeballs from the pink haired nurse and distributed them accordingly amongst herself and her two friends.

    “Alright, let’s go to the museum.”

    “No way, let’s head to the Gym first,” Raven replied, evidently annoyed.

    “Raven, let’s just go so she’ll shut up.”

    “Thank you Maverick…Wait, what?!”

    “Nothing let’s just go.” The three headed towards the large concrete building in the back of town, it looked much like the entrance to the Pokemon League except relatively smaller.

    They walked in the double glass doors and looked around in awe at the exhibits; one in particular caught Maverick’s attention. It was a large sand stone tablet with engravings of people and Pokemon on it, except the people looked slightly disfigured. However, this is not what caught his eye; there was a person at the top of the tablet with three wings sprouting out of either side of his/her back. They had their arms outstretched towards the sky and light was pouring from their body onto the Pokemon and people below.

    He stared in amazement at this great masterpiece when a man who worked in the museum walked up and tapped him on the shoulder, “Excuse me sir, are you interested in this piece?”

    “Yes, can you tell me what it is?” Maverick replied inquisitively.

    “Of course,” the man said, pushing up his glasses, “are you familiar with the three theories of the creation of the world?”

    “Yeah, there’s the Big Bang Theory, the Religious Theory, and the theory that the Legendary Pokemon created everything.”

    “Yes, well this piece is homage to the third one you mentioned, you see the ones that believe in that theory believe that after the world was created, the legendaries created Pokemon and humans. However, the humans they created aren’t like the ones we are today, they believe that when humans were first created they had powers much like Pokemon. These humans are not called humans now, they are known by another name, Sugureta. These Sugureta lived peacefully among the Pokemon, until one day two Sugureta were born with power much greater than any other. They grew up like normal Sugureta; they were just more powerful than everyone else. The one named Seraf is the one shown at the top of this; he had six ‘angel’ wings growing out of his back. The other one whose name was Daio had similar wings, only his were leathery and bat-like. Anyway, because of unknown reasons Daio grew up corrupted and evil, and one day, when he was powerful enough, he attacked the Legendaries in their sleep and imprisoned them, declaring himself ruler of the Earth. The Sugureta and Pokemon teamed up to try and defeat him but every attempt failed, so they turned to their only hope, Seraf. He fought Daio, and after a climactic battle, defeated him and freed the Legendaries from imprisonment, but the Legendaries now feared the same thing would happen again, so they started destroying all of the Sugureta and turning them into modern day humans. Seraf however, didn’t want his race to die out so he used the rest of his power to keep the spirit of the Sugureta alive, which is what’s depicted in this tablet.”

    “Wow,” Maverick couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Super powered humans? It just made no sense to him, “So how come I’ve never heard of this?”

    “Well, this belief was long discarded a while ago except for a few who still believe in the Legendary Pokemon creating the world. Whether you know it or not, traces of this story and many more still exist to day.”

    “Yeah, like what?”

    “Like the two’s names for instance, Seraf has since evolved into the word ‘Seraph’ which is known as the highest form of angel. Daio on the other hand became ‘Daemon’ and eventually ‘Demon’.

    “Man, I had no idea; there are so many questions I wanna ask…”

    “Maverick come on let’s get outta here,” Maverick turned around to see Raven coming towards him pulling Ivy along by the wrist, “Ivy got in trouble with security.”

    “What’d you do this time Ivy?”

    “How was I supposed to know that you weren’t supposed to take the Pokemon fossils?” she said, looking extremely angry.

    “Whatever, look let’s just go to the Gym,” Raven said impatiently.

    “Okay, hold on,” Maverick turned back to thank the man that he had been talking to, but he was gone. “What the hell?”

    “Hurry up Maverick!”

    “Okay, I’m coming, I’m coming.”

    The three of them walked out of the museum, Raven pulling Ivy along and Maverick trailing close behind, he took one last look at the tablet and said, “Thanks.” Then he turned around and followed his friends out the door.
    ~Divine Casualties Vol. 1: Aphotic Dawn~
    Silly little mortal. You think because you've lived more than one lifetime you can sway the Creator's will? Do not overstep your bounds. You lower beings are nothing more than tools.

  11. #11
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    I liked it it was good

    Is Maverick going to become a     Spoiler:- what he might be:
    Undead
    Jabberwocky

    Mayoral Discandiditure

  12. #12
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    Not bad. There really isn't much for ME to comment on. IMO you're doing really well so far.

  13. #13
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    You are developing the plot nicely, with that interesting history of the world and the capture of celebi. My one problem was you called the bug catcher Jimmy, and in the next sentence, you called him Jeremy! This fic is getting better in terms of description and grammar. I can't wait for the next chapter!
    Over and out,

  14. #14
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    Hello again, thanks for the reviews everyone I'm glad you're enjoying it. Like it said in my sig I've been grounded for the past two weeks or so and haven't been able to work on the next chapter. However, now I'm not grounded anymore and I'm able to start back up again. The new chapter should be up by Thursday next week seeing as I'm going away this weekend.

    Note: I apologize for the inconvineince but I will be away the last week of June and July and will have limited to no computer access, therefore will not be able to work on ES.
    ~Divine Casualties Vol. 1: Aphotic Dawn~
    Silly little mortal. You think because you've lived more than one lifetime you can sway the Creator's will? Do not overstep your bounds. You lower beings are nothing more than tools.

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