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Thread: Dawn of the Dead: Pokemon Style Preview

  1. #1
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    Default Dawn of the Dead: Pokemon Style Preview

    Dawn of the Dead: Pokemon Style Preview

    Warning: If you don’t like blood, zombies, a few very rude words or other horror stuff then I have two things to say to you… Leave! Now!

    Hi, people. This is a preview of my (possible) upcoming horror fic, Dawn of the Dead: Pokemon Style. Yes, there were two Dawn of the Dead films: the 70’s version and the latest version. I’ve seen the 70’s version and saw some bits from the latest version.

    Since there isn’t much horror fics here, and that I already wrote some action, comedy and romance fics, and that I liked that 70’s film and Shaun of the Dead, I thought that I try something new.

    So, here we go…


    -Afternoon-

    “What? You mean it’s over between us?” I shouted in shock at the phone.

    Yep, that was me getting dumped by my current girlfriend…

    ****! Why am I telling you that part if I haven’t introduced myself yet? My name is Bryan Knightmare and I’m a police officer dealing with everyday crimes here and there.

    The girl? Her name’s Lisa May, she’s a nurse at the nearby pokemon center. We both live in Raphael City of the Arto Region and we’ve been dating for more than two years and now she’s dumping me because of this date that I turned down because of my busy job… well, I turned down more than one date and, to her, this was the final straw.

    “That’s right,” she said. “I’m sick and tired of your excuses, in fact, I’m sick and tired of you.”

    “Look, just give one more chance!” I shouted down the phone in desperation. “I’ll never turn down anything ever again, okay? Please?”

    “Goodbye, Bryan,” she sobbed. Before I could say anything, she hanged up on me.

    I sighed as I placed the phone down and turned round. My colleagues were staring at me. Yep, I was working at the police station… forgot to tell you that, huh?

    Some of them were disappointed in me, some were shocked at what just happened, blah, blah, blah.

    “I guess buying her flowers won’t convince her to get back with me, huh?” I asked sarcastically.

    Everyone shook their heads answering my question, which sounded negative. I wasn’t expecting that. I quickly walked back to my office, grabbed my jacket and got the hell out.

    Great! This is a dead-end job and it cost me a life partner. What else can go wrong in my life?


    -Night-

    I sat at a local bar, drinking countless pints of alcohol. One beer… two beers… three beers… a shot of Jack Daniels… a bottle of vodka… you name it, I had it.

    I got drunk after a few hours. When closing time came, I was more than lucky to get back to my apartment. If I didn’t, I would’ve gotten lost… although I could’ve sworn that I heard some groaning noises while I was making my way home… I was drunk! What would I know?

    My place looked nice but nothing special. I have four rooms in my apartment, there’s my bedroom, my living room, kitchen and bathroom. The apartment’s got nice space, got myself a big comfy chair (which I call the ‘lazy boy’), medium sized TV with DVD and VCR, red rug, yatta, yatta, yatta.

    As I got through the door I let my pokemon out, knowing that I was going faint at any minute. As you could tell, I don’t live here by myself, y’know. Anytime I feel lonely or I need some help I let my pokemon out, which were Joey, a Growlithe, and Dyson, a Scyther.

    Joey was more cheerful than Dyson, and always intended to cheer us up when we’re feeling down. But that didn’t mean that he was a softie in battle, both his bite and flamethrower moves were lethal.

    Dyson was more serious than Joey but he can be sometimes sarcastic. When there was work to be done, he’d be the first out of three of us to take action because of his proud nature. Yes, he sometimes overreacts but he’d leave never anyone behind.

    After studying the pokemon language and hanging around with them for so long, I understand everything they say.

    As they expected, I fell down to the floor. I was so tired and drunk that I couldn’t move anymore. They both gave me a frowning look. “(Why does he always fall down at bad places?)” Joey asked, knowing that he and Dyson would have to drag me to the ‘lazy boy’ chair.

    “(Beats me),” Dyson replied with a shrug.

    “I heard that,” I mumbled.

    Then I dozed off.


    -Dawn-

    I slowly opened my eyes as I felt my head hurting pretty badly. The light was hurting my eyes a little while I was waking up.

    I looked round the room and Joey was sleeping on the armchair next to me while Dyson looked outside the window. I could tell that he does this for security reasons plus he never sleeps.

    “(Morning, Bryan),” Dyson said quietly, trying to not wake Joey up. He didn’t turn round to see me waking up… he can sense anything.

    “Morning,” I replied back, still feeling my aching head. “Man, what have I been drinking last night?”

    “(I could write down a list of drinks you had if you want me to),” Dyson replied.

    “Oh hardy, hardy ha ha…” I replied sarcastically.

    I slowly made my way to the kitchen and took out some medicine, which helped soothed the pain of my headache… a little. I then poured some pokemon food into Dyson and Joey’s respective bowls and brought the food to them.

    After I freshened up in the bathroom, cleaning my teeth and all, I decided to call in sick considering of what happened yesterday. While I had some coffee for breakfast, I phoned them up using speed dial…

    No answer. I looked at the clock that hangs above my telly… fifteen past eight. That’s weird; the station was always open at this time of day. Maybe the guys were busy.

    To pass the time until the guys at the station could take calls I decided to do some weekly shopping. After we’ve finished our breakfast I got dressed in my everyday clothes with a gun down my jeans for protection and I recalled the pokemon back into their pokeballs.

    As I left my apartment door, I noticed a woman slowly walking towards me. She was wearing everyday clothing but that wasn’t my concern… I was never a fan in fashion. Her skin was pale and grey; she was probably suffering on a low sugar level or something. I looked at her face and she looked kind of… drunk.

    “Are you okay, ma’am?” I asked as she slowly walked towards me. She let out a dying-like groan as she reached her hands towards me. The way she was doing freaked me out a lot.

    I quickly grabbed her wrists and dragged her to the floor. “Sorry about that but I am a police officer and…”

    Before I could say anything else, I felt the coldness of her skin as I held her down and more strangely… no pulse. If there’s no pulse, could it be that she was… dead?

    That wasn’t right. She made another groan. I told the woman to stay where she was while I opened my apartment door. I was about call the hospital when suddenly the phone rang. I picked up the phone and said ‘hello’ in a curious tone.

    “Hey! Bryan!” Danny said.

    “Danny?” you’re asking? I’ll tell you what he does and all. He was an old friend of mine and we used to go to the same college. When we did all that education crap, we decided to part ways but we keep in contact at times. He works at a security company. Anyways…

    “Danny!” I said loudly in surprise. “I have somewhere to go, mate. Can we talk later?”

    “I don’t know if there’s gonna be a later,” he replied. “Turn on the TV! Channel one!”

    Curious of what he meant I picked up the remote control and used it to turn on the TV. On first viewing, there were people and pokemon running around screaming in fear. The next screen showed a bunch of grey and pale-skinned people and pokemon, like the girl that was outside, eating flesh of some random guy… I could tell that anybody would puke after seeing that, I almost did.

    As I continued watching, while holding the phone next to my ear, a news reporter said…

    “In almost every location of the Arto Region, thousands of people and pokemon are turning pale and grey skinned whilst feasting on human flesh. It is highly recommended by the police that those you who have not turned into one of those people should stay indoors and lock the doors and windows…”

    After hearing that I slowly turned round and saw the same grey skinned freak that was outside and freaked out. I took out my gun and jumped backwards, nearly hitting the walls of my apartment.

    “Stay back or I’ll shoot!” I yelled warningly.

    She let out another groan as she came closer to me. In response to that, I shot her in the leg. She fell down to one knee as blood came flowing out of it but her face didn’t show any signs of pain as she struggled to get to her feet.

    “Bryan!” yelled my friend’s voice from the phone. “I heard a gunshot! What happened?”

    “Danny,” I said. “You know about those pale skinned freaks that eat guys like you and me?”

    “Yeah.”

    “She’s in my apartment, man! I just shot her in the leg but she’s still moving!”

    “What are we gonna do? If there’s no way to stop them… hey, wait a minute…”

    “What is it, Danny?” I said, desperate for some advice… if he had any.

    “Keep that girl busy,” he said in an assuring tone. “The guys on TV are giving advice on how to get rid of those things.”

    “Okay, got it,” I said as I gave the woman more shots from my gun every time she got close to me. Every time I shot her, she stumbled back and bled some more but she showed no signs of going down.

    “Hey! Any time now!” I said loudly down the phone, as I knew that I had one bullet left in my gun.

    “Shoot her in the head!” Danny yelled. “She’ll go down for sure!”

    Following my friend’s advice, I shot the freak show in the forehead and blood came pouring out of it as she fell down to the floor, finally becoming motionless.

    I breathed some heavy breaths as I leaned against the wall and slowly collapsed down to my butt. “You took your time, Danny,” I said breathlessly.

    “Aww, c’mon, Bryan,” Danny replied. “Can’t you at least give me a little thanks?”

    “Whatever,” I replied. “We need to get to a place where there’s high security, food, good escape routes, a place to heal pokemon, weapons, yatta, yatta, ya-ha.”

    “Good point,” he replied. “I don’t think my place is safe either… I knocked out a big fat freak with my baseball bat when he was about to bite my head off.”

    I was surprised that he’d kill a big fat guy with that, but somehow I had a feeling that he was lying. Anyways…

    “Where can we go?” I asked.

    It took us some time thinking. But an idea suddenly came to mind. “The Raphael Shopping Mall!” we both yelled in unison.

    “Wait a minute,” I said. “When does the store open?”

    “9:00am,” he replied as I looked at the clock on my TV, which said ‘8:30am’. “But I don’t think that anyone’s gonna get in, now that everyone’s dying.”

    “We’re gonna have to break in,” I said. “Every building has a backdoor.”

    “Nice one,” he replied. “Should we take my car or you’re taking your motorcycle?”

    “I’m pretty confident with my bike,” I said with a small smile.

    “Great!” he said. “See ya at the backdoor… and bring a couple of guns will ya? I’ll be bringing my bat.”

    “I’ll be there in fifteen,” I said. “If I don’t make it, go in without me.”

    “Fifteen?” he asked. “Why’s that?”

    “I need to go somewhere first,” I said, trying to hide my sadness.

    “Oh, Lisa,” he said. I haven’t told him about the break-up between her and me yet. “Tell her I said ‘hi’ when you rescue her, Prince Charming.”

    “Funny,” I replied sarcastically. Somehow, I was surprised that hiding my feelings worked on him. “Later.”

    “Later,” he replied back.

    After we both hanged up I got myself ready to get to the mall. Handguns, shotguns, extra ammo, the motorbike, Dyson and Joey; they were all I need and got.

    …………

    I hope Lisa’s okay.
    ------------------------------
    End of preview.

    So, what do you guys think? Did you like the plot? Like the actions? What needs improving? You tell me something, I’ll do something. If none of you like it then I’ll stop writing this fic since this is not my main fic.

    One, and important question, judging by the preview what age rating should it be? I was thinking rated 18 but, y’know, I’ve seen some things on rated 15 films that had some things that rated 18 films had, like blood and such.

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

  2. #2
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    Oh, I remember seeng this at PC *pokes* and then you deleted it or something, which was a bummer. I'd read it if you posted it.

    On improvement, your description could use a little buffing up, especially of the surroundings. Also we dunno what Bryan looks like. Other than that, I like what's happening ^.^

  3. #3
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    Yes, I wrote this fic but I deleted it because I thought up something better about this fic.

    I'll see what I can do on descriptions, but Bryan (the character) is the guy telling jis side of the story and, as writer for the character, I would find it pretty weird for the character to talk about his own appearance.
    Last edited by Brian Powell; 21st August 2005 at 3:50 PM.

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

  4. #4
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    Yeah, I can understand it'd be difficult - but maybe he could be looking in a mirror or something. Still, even if you lack description of him you should go for other stuff to make up for it. :P Luck to you.

  5. #5
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    This story is good...I give it a 7 out a 10

  6. #6
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    Purple-Drake: Suppose looking inside a mirror could work, thanks for that suggestion and for wishing me good luck.

    Antartica: Thanx.

    Now, other opinions?

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

  7. #7
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    This is pretty good! I like you writing style, all nice and cheery even though bad things are happening. Good grammer, spelling. The description is good, I don't have any complaints. I would rally like to read more, this would be a great fic.

    I need to watch 'Shawn of the Dead' at some point... Is it good?


    Floating over your rocky spine
    The glaciers made you and now you're mine


    Pair: duncan | Lyrics: Great Lake Swimmers

  8. #8
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    I've seen the whole thing, it was great! Its category is comedy/horror. One particular bit from the movie will be beind those thick black lines in case you don't want to be spoiled.

        Spoiler:


    BTW: Should this be rated 18, 15 or 13?

    Further note: If I do place this, it'll be called 'Region of the Dead'.
    Last edited by Brian Powell; 23rd November 2005 at 5:43 PM.

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

  9. #9
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    I don't know. Either 13 or 15. 18 is to high a rating.


    Floating over your rocky spine
    The glaciers made you and now you're mine


    Pair: duncan | Lyrics: Great Lake Swimmers

  10. #10
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    London
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    Hmm... I was thinking about 15 because there won't be too much blood. Besides, not many people read rated 18 fics.

    Other opinions? Anybody?

    Check these out:

    Thanks for the card, Skiks
    Pokemon Impact (PG13):
    Series: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 (Cancelled)

    Starring Black Jack, a veteran pokemon trainer who saves the lives of others while breaking necks of his enemies in cold blood. You want action? You got action!
    (Continue or Reboot? That is the question.)

    Goldenrod High (Chaptered Comedy Multishipping fic PG13) Updated: 02/12/09
    Who says school is just for learning? ^^

    Check out my other stories, and everyone else's in the Completed Fics forum!

    Been doing some singing and voice impressions too! Check me out at the Brian Random Channel Thread!

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