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Thread: Heart Break

  1. #1
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    Default Heart Break

    Summary: I don’t hate her anymore; I’ve come to accept it. She loves him, he loves her. And here I am, sitting in the shadows of their love, silently loving him...

    Shipping: Pokeshipping & one-sided angsty Advanceshipping (May's side)

    ---

    Sometimes, my heart aches for his acceptance, yearns for his love. Thankfully, the longings are few and far between. It is not his love to give me; it was long ago given to her.

    I used to hate her for that.

    But it doesn’t matter now. I don’t hate her anymore; I’ve come to accept it. She loves him, he loves her. And here I am, sitting in the shadows of their love, silently loving him.

    I know this; I’ve always known this. And yet, each time he smiles at me, I find my heart breaking a little bit more. Not for me, most times (though I do still love him, make no mistake).

    No, my heart breaks for him.

    You see, her parents went off on a holy pilgrimage when she was a little child, maybe two years old. They left her, and her three older sisters, to do what they wished with their lives. This just so happened to be going on with their mother’s birthright—their grandmother’s old gym. And they lived together, the four of them, and grew up together as bright, beautiful stars. They led bright, beautiful lives, and were happy in their ignorance of their parent’s intent in the pilgrimage.

    Just last year, her parents came back. They brought back with them the traditions of a culture long thought to be lost to our generation—the earliest of Kanto-based religions, known only as Caantu. You may notice the similarity to the word “Kanto.” This isn’t a coincidence; the region was named for the religion. The Caantuiites are a wide spread people, but thinly so; few people with much space between them. This is probably not the best thing for a dying culture, but it is how it has been.

    Anyway, her parents decided it was high time their lovely daughters experience their life as God intended it for them to live. So they brought the girls back to the gym, taught them the ways, prayers and thoughts of the Caantuiites, then closed the gym and set off for a quiet part of Kanto.

    For a time, it was though the four girls had disappeared off the face of the earth. His smile faltered, and his innocent eyes—dark, rich brown ones I loved so much even then—grew heavy with concern. The hop in his step was gone, and he had forgotten how to laugh. He told me one day the reason why—he loved her, and now she was just gone.

    My heart broke for the first time that day. Hearing that my hopes had been for nothing, my affection for a taken man. And just like that, a little corner of my heart snapped off, falling into the deepest wretched corners of my soul. I put a hand to my chest, as if that could somehow dull the sudden pain.

    When the pain did not lessen after many days time, I sought him, and tried to cheer him with jokes, food, games—all the old things he used to love, and that I loved to watch him do. He attempted a smile for me, but it was false. The both of us could see that. He just didn’t have it in him.

    When a month of this had gone by, and that small, weeping corner of my heart had bled itself all but dry, I tried to rouse his stubborn competitiveness. Even though I was no good at it, I battled him with all my heart, determined to set him back to normal. Well, I won that day…and lost as well.

    I won the Pokémon battle, and lost another bit of my heart, seeing all his enthusiasm truly gone.

    After another month of tried and failed attempts to get him back to normal, and my sobbing heart was sore and aching with empathic pain for my friend—and secret love—I decided that, if nothing else would bring him back, I would go and find her.

    And so off I went, into the dank wildernesses of uninhabited Kanto. I saw things in there I couldn’t begin to describe, even if I would ever want to tell someone of such a revolting sight. I traveled for what felt like years, but was actually a week and a half, until I found their house.

    I walked to their door and the first thing I saw was a patch of red, facing away from me. The selfish part of my heart (the part that had not broken yet) told me Run! Get away from here quick! before she sees you. Get away now, and you can tell him she wasn’t there.

    I couldn’t. That wouldn’t let him heal, but affirm his worries. She was only half lost to him now, but would be completely lost to him if I left now.

    So I knocked. She looked up at me, and smiled. A true, happy smile, full of life. She was happy here, in the presence of her God and surrounded by His Kingdom of Earth. I told her why I had come. The smile left her face. She confirmed my fears—she loved him too, and would do anything to be with him again. My heart began to crack in two.

    However, she told me, it could not be.

    Why? I let my face show confusion, though my heart was secretly soaring (oh wicked, selfish creature that it was!).

    Caantuiites can only marry Caantuiites. It is a way of life; a tradition, a law, whatever you call it. There is no way around it, either. You have to be born a Caantuiite, or you can’t be one at all. You cannot leave the faith. It was hopeless, she said. My love for him is so strong…yet it seems so wasteful.

    No love is wasteful, I wanted to say. Instead, I convinced her to come with me, back to society for a brief moment. Just long enough for them to see one another, to revel in their love, and then decide their way. Though my heart broke to say it, I wished her the best.

    It was a greater surprise to me than to anyone else that I truly meant it.

    When I called and let him know I had a surprise for him, I was truly excited. When I saw him on the horizon on that day, I was truly nervous. And when they ran into each other’s arms, jumping and crying and shouting and declaring their love for the world to hear, I was truly happy.

    My love had found his love. Even if it weren’t my love that was his love, it made him happy again. It made him laugh again. And, oddly enough, that was all I really needed. For me to be content, he just needed to be happy.

    For a day—for one long, endless day—he was just that.

    However, the sunset came, and with it came her departure. They made many promises—I’ll find a phone and call you, I’ll write every day, we’ll find a way to be together—and shared one last kiss before she left.

    I think my heart finally fell apart then.

    I realized, at that moment, that he would never be truly happy. She was what made him happy, but she was lost to him. So, even though the next few days he was all smiles and joy, I could not join him in jubilation. I knew what would come…even if he were too blinded to see it himself.

    Each day since that day, my heart has been crumbling. Already scattered across the farthest reaches of my spirit, it now begins to wither and die, vanishing into the intangible eternal emptiness of the soul. Somehow, this hurts more than my heart breaking did.

    And somehow, this doesn’t hurt at all.

    That’s heartache for you—the pain is the essence of the joy.

    A tear comes to my eye, and I let it trickle down my cheek. He comes to me and brushes it away, smiling in that new, bittersweet way of his.

    It’s okay, he says. You don’t need to be sad, May. You’ll be okay.

    It’s not me who I’m sad for, I want to tell him. It’s not me who needs to be okay.

    But I don’t. How could I? How could I tell him to be happy, to live without Misty? How could I tell him that?

    So instead I smile softly. I know, Ash. Thanks.

    ---

    *sighs* Came to me randomly when reading a Scholastic Writing Competition entry. And sort of based on some people in my own life. Not that they'll ever know it. Regardless...this one's for you, Buraian-kun. *candle*

    Reviews greatly appreciated.

    Rated: G
    Last edited by Kiori; 1st January 2006 at 3:36 AM.
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  2. #2
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    Whoa...

    I loved this one-shot. I noticed the realism in this story that one person can’t be with another because of his/her religion (not relating to this one-shot but I think that sucks in general) and you had identity of the person telling the story hidden until the end, which is also good.

    I felt the emotions of the characters, and it got me feeling sad but I didn’t cry. I’m not the kind of person who cries. May described how she loved Ash as much as Ash and Misty loved each other but I also noticed how a great friend she can be and that’s saying something.

    The only negative is the tense errors I spotted.

    Overall: 4.5/5

    This is a one-shot, yes?

    PS: Will this fic be nominated and win? I think this could be in with a chance.

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  3. #3
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    Whew, that was pretty good. At first I thought it might be yaoi, but then I figured it had to be May. *takes deep breaths*

    Ahem, this was good, the not telling of names in the beginning could lead to confusion, but you did it very professionally. Very nicely done.
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  4. #4
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    Brian Powell: I guess...I was inspired, for a lack of a better word. I'm glad you liked it. As for the hidden narrator, well I've just always been a fan of that form of writing. A bit of suspense. I'm a bit surprised the characters seemed that real to you; surprised, but flattered. Tense errors? I'll try to look the story over again, and find those. And yes, it is a one-shot. Personally...I hope it's nominated, but that depends on the reviewers, doesn't it? Thanks for reading!

    jinxie: ^^ I'm glad you enjoyed it; thanks for reading!

    Power Shot: Nope. Yaoi's not my thing. I couldn't write for it...though I've seen some good writers who can pull it off. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
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  5. #5
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    Wow. I love fics with a lot of emotion put into them, and you just hit the jackpot. Amazing how you took the third-person perspective and still made it work. Pure poetry. Great job, gladdecease.
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  6. #6
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    ^^ Thanks, PokeProphet! Though it was actually first person...I'm glad you liked it and took the time to review it!
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  7. #7
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    Quite a nice fic is this. I came here by the curiosity of not knowing exactly what shipping were this.

    I enjoyed the reading time, one-sided advanceshipping is more than i have right know...

    Even as a one-shot, it had quite a story wiht Misty being a Caantuiite, and May giving Ash the gift of love, even if it wasn´t for her but for Misty. If you love something, let it go...

  8. #8
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    ...and if it loves you, it will come back. If it doesn't, you never had it in the first place.

    ^^ Thanks for reviewing; I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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    Woah, you maneged to make an emotional shippy one-shot.Though I new who the characters were from the start, i decided to read it anyway.Well done.
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  10. #10
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    ^^ Thanks for reading and responding!
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  11. #11
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    Wow! Both you and WS both just hit inspiration!

    I this one-shot is great! I love the suspense! It also got me deep too especially with it being though an advanceshippy perspective. Great job!

  12. #12
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    ^^ Please, don't compare me to her greatness! I'm glad you liked it, though.

    I thought the perspective was a nice twist too...thanks for reviewing!
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  13. #13
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    It's so sad.

    But well written and executed excellently.

    But it's so sad

  14. #14
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    ^^ I know!

    Thanks so much; you're very kind, Swifty.

    ^^ I know!

    Thanks for reviewing!
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  15. #15
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    Excellent gladdecease! This is one story that can explain it all! You captured the emotions and description of the characters greatly! You never disappoint me with your talent of style.

    I found it sad to see that Ash doesn't like her back. That feeling is terrible sometimes. It just strucks you hard, as if someone just stabbed you. I can relate to her mixed feelings. But as they say, when you love someone so much but they don't love you back; it's best to let go of the past and try to move along. *sighs* Romance can be very confusing.

    Anyway, I give it 5/5! Congratulations! *applaudes*
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  16. #16
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    ^^ Thanks for reviewing it, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    I'm not all that great, though...maybe a bit inspired on this one.

    He has Misty, and that's the only one his heart belongs to. Sadly, two hearts belong to him. *sighs* A sad situation, yes...but life certainly isn't so perfect that we could all be content, right? And life is confusing too.

    Thanks again!
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by gladdecease
    ...and if it loves you, it will come back. If it doesn't, you never had it in the first place.
    ...Wow.. That was some.. one-shot. @_@; I could never portray such.. emotions like that.. and that's a compliment to you.

    It was really realistic, and much like .. reality.. is what I meant for realistic. But it was really well-written.

    And for the quote there, it's because that's sooo true. I feel better now about humanity after reading this.. and that statement.. That statement is true, too true.. for everyone here (in the world).
    [IMG]http://i36.*******.com/1629qpx.jpg[/IMG]

  18. #18
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    Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I had hoped people would think it real to the characters, and to the situation.

    Yesh, that's famous, though I can't remember for the life of me who said it. Probably anonymous. *shrugs* Anyways, it's quite true and relevant to many situations and peoples. Which is one of the reasons as to why it's so true. I'm glad I made you feel a bit better about humanity...and that you reviewed! I really appreciate that.
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by gladdecease
    Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I had hoped people would think it real to the characters, and to the situation.

    Yesh, that's famous, though I can't remember for the life of me who said it. Probably anonymous. *shrugs* Anyways, it's quite true and relevant to many situations and peoples. Which is one of the reasons as to why it's so true. I'm glad I made you feel a bit better about humanity...and that you reviewed! I really appreciate that.
    Nah, this 'fic is just.. great.. portraying emotions so well and stuff. I'm no word elitist thing..

    The quote was said by someone already? The whole thing you said, or including the above poster? Like the one below quoted, wholly or just what you said? ^^; Maybe I'll use that quote in some fanfiction.. dunno what.. And yeah.. it did..

    If you love something, let it go...

    ...and if it loves you, it will come back. If it doesn't, you never had it in the first place.
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  20. #20
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    *flattered* Thanks so much!

    Somewhere...I'm nearly positive it's by some anonymous person. And yes, the full quote you made, not just the small part. It certainly seems like it could fit in a story, if used right.
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  21. #21
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    This is really good, gladdecease! Really heartfelt, the emotion moved me. A job well done.


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  22. #22
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    ^^ Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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  23. #23
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    ...*looks* It's not a month old yet! X3
    Amazing story. And I know it's amazing because it was Advanceshippy, yet I was hooked reading it until the very last punctuation. XD
    You have amazing detail in there for emotion, and for that, I give this story a million stars. Excellent. You truly have some talent. It definately did deserve the nomination for best romantic one shot. ^^ Well done.
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  24. #24
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    I'm glad you enjoyed it...and that I was able to draw you into the story with my writing style. Somehow, I find it so much fun to not reveal the characters' names until the end of a one-shot...I'm not sure why, but it's a style of writing I really like using. Also, the fact that you read it through despite the pairing not being one of your favorites means a lot to me too.

    And I'm so happy about that nomination! It means a lot that a specific story would be considered that good. Technically, it's not in for the voting until someone else seconds the nomination, but I'm pleased with it all the same. *looks slyly at reviewers*

    Y'know, you can still nominate until February...;P
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  25. #25
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    Just a double post to let any readers out there know that voting for the Winter Awards has started...they end on March 20th.

    A reminder: this story has been nominated for Best Romantic One-Shot. If you're interested in voting for it, head over to the Winter Awards thread for the details...and I'll thank anyone who votes for it in advance, simply for voting!
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