The Retelling of Pokemon Colosseum

[psyrose3]

YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEEES!

profiterole

...Um..what the heck does this mean....?

“We had to have the owners of the Pokemon take them away because the neighbours started complaining. Something about how they can’t sleep at night and that the rocks were too spotty for their liking.” The Day-Care woman shrugged. “It gives a bad reputation for some reason, so it’s a new rule. It's along with the 'No giving the Pokemon candy' , and the 'Strictly, under no circumstances, are Wailord allowed' rule.”

'CUZ YOU CAN BREED SKITTY WITH WAILORD YA SEE.

“DISHWASHERS! BUY ONE AND GET ONE AT A SLIGHTLY REDUCED PRICE!” it blazed, as the radio also came back on.

“Árrgh!” Wes cried, covering his ears. “I forgot about that...”

Al-RIGHT, dangit, EAT MY DISHWA-ZOOMER'S DUST!

They had never worked with the large man before – all they knew was that he had been highly rated by Master Nascour, who had scouted him out as a fantastic muscle-man, or hit-man, so to speak.

Okay, at this point, highlights are coming as I read them. And that bolded part made my jaw go- OW!

“Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal,” Dakim continued, grabbing two small rocks and miming them as animals. “And then he put them on a boat, and then he beat the heck out of them, man!”

O_o What?

“Yeah, totally cool, keep talking about your stupid make-believe story,” the man continued to whisper. “Seriously, I hope he can fight as well as how badly he thinks, for if that’s the case then I might forgive Master Nascour for lumping him with us.”

And of course, if a puny peon is disrespectful to the EXECUTIVE, of all higher ups, they're gonna get something a LOT bigger than a remote thrown at their skulls...

“And that’s why they call it a zoo!” Dakim declared, pausing for effect. “Unless it’s a farm!” he added. “Ok, let me ask you a question. Now, does anyone think they can beat me in a fight?”

GAWDANGIT BNB. >.< WE ALL KNOW ONLY NASCOUR (and Wes) CAN BEAT HIM IN A FIGHT, MAN SAID SO HIMSELF!

“Good point. I’m...going to have to demote you now. Sorry. Now about our plan... Oh, I know. How about this – you go in, and start attacking people with your Pokemon, and I’ll go in and punch stuff, man! Then I’ll find that guy and get that Space Saxophone off of him, and we’ll go back!”

My grin keeps on getting more asaninly wider as this guy goes on...

“We are Cipher, we are here, something something we like beer! Gonna go kick up a fuss, all your base are belong to us...” they sung, before trailing off into silence, noticing the Police force.

“Oh, bugger,” one of them added quietly. ‘I told Dakim we should have saved the singing for later...”

I have a fracking Algebra quiz tomorrow dangit. YOU JUST KILLED MY BRAIN XDDDDDDDDD!

he appeared to be wielding a cactus.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?

This can’t be possible...suddenly some giant came here and is fighting against our Pokemon with a cactus, and is winning? Have I gone mad? Andrew wondered to himself, in-between shouting orders at his Pokemon. And that sound... who’s that shouting in the background? Very faintly, he could hear....advertisements?

“DISHWASHERS! IF YOU HAVENT BOUGHT ONE YET, YOU MUST BE MAD! MAYBE NOT AS MAD AS THE MAD HATTER BECAUSE HE’S JUST MAD! BUT YOU’LL BE CRAZY NOT TO BUY OUR CHICKEN-FLAVOURED DISHWASHERS!”

I CAN'T FRICKING BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF THE PLATFORMS – NO RUNNING OR BREAKDANCING PERMITTED

BE CAREFUL NOT TO LET YOUR POKEMON FALL DOWN – HAVE YOUR POKEBALLS AT THE READY SO YOU CAN RECALL THEM

Thinking about how the platforms stay up in the air is severely discouraged.

Oi, you keep on KILLING MY BRAIN OF MUSH!

“You’re too slow! Out of my way! DAKIM PAWWUNCH!” Dakim yelled, connecting with his punch before running onwards.

Lord, HOW DARE YOU PUT THIS MANY BRAWL REFERENCES INTO THIS! I will have to hire my highly trained team of monkeys to come and deal with this situation...

“DAKIM KICK!” Dakim shouted, this time kicking the person.

Squarely in the face.

“YES!” Dakim said, proud of his strength, moving onwards as the other man fell down, luckily staying on his platform as well.

Ah damnit. If there's one person Dakim's most like, it's Captian Falcon...

(Yes, we have to go... um, buy a dishwasher!) Umbreon exclaimed hurriedly, not noticing that the advertising from the Zoomer’s radio had affected him.

“You’re Wes, man! The guy who blew up Team Snagem! Man, that must have been cool!” Dakim then struck out a hand, offering Wes a handshake.

Wes blinked. “Umm...”

Um...is right...

“No, it’s ok! Anyone that could have made Master Nascour fret about so much has my respect! You’ve made yourself quite the worthy opponent for us – even defeating Miror B! You’re pretty cool, man!” Wes cautiously shook Dakim’s hand for a short moment, carefully watching. Seems this guy holds a good deal of respect for me, even though I’m his enemy... well, I guess I just won’t question it, Wes thought quietly.

Okay, did NOT expect that...

“But seeing as it appears you are my current obstacle, and although my enemy, the most worthy of them... I think this calls for a Pokemon Battle.” With that, Dakim grinned. “I do not believe you will win, but perhaps you could entertain me. Only Master Nascour has been able to defeat me – but if you do, I shall leave without Vander. And if I win-”

And the clueless heroes STILL have no idea who Nascour IS...

YET...

Well, I daresay your choice to disregard my suggestion was smart. I thought I knew all there was to know about written comedy...but BOY. Was I wrong...

~Psy

[Dramatic Melody]

Your new chapter made me want to buy new chicken-flavored dishwashers.

That is all.


=))

It's fun to finally read a new chapter from you, bnb. There were a few mistakes (which I was too lazy to quote), but all in all this was a very refreshing read. I can't wait for the battle between Wes and Dakim!

And, outside of the comedy, I really like the characterization of Andrew. I don't play Colo/XD so all these characters (outside of Wes and Miror B) are relatively new to me, so if Andrew really actually acts like that in the games then disregard this point. Otherwise, his characterization is real good.

Awesome return, bnb! =P

[Sike Saner]

The "mystery" of pokémon eggs... X3 Oh, excuse me, I meant "rocks". Silly me.

...No, I meant "pokémon eggs". X3

But anyway, yeah, I liked seeing that "mystery" touched upon there in that chapter since it was something that I've personally always found particularly silly and amusing in the games. X3

Also, I may never be able to picture Dakim without thinking about him swinging a cactus around now. XD

    Spoiler:- Highlights and et cetera:

Show Spoiler

 

Chapter 15 – The Battle of Battles At... Mt Battle

Awesome chapter title, not only because of the amusing repitition of the word "battle" that it contains but also because the word "battle" is just one that I find amusing in and of itself, so seeing it that many times in such close proximity to one another... yeah. XD

“Croc-Fe, Feraligatr,” (Jumbo jets- err, I mean, I said I was sorry, you old slowcoach,) Feraligatr replied with a grin after mixing up his words.

XD "Jumbo jets"... Also, I initially read "Croc-Fe" as "Croc-Fu". Wtf. XD;

and some are tending to Duncan’s poor, poor lawn. Those flowers... they’ll never be the same

The tragedy of it! ;-;

“We have respectable grounds – lots of, um.... grass! Yes, grass. Also...” she struggled. “We have...air! Lots of healthy air.”

Grass and air? Wow. That's a state of the art facility right there.

Wes glanced at it – it had the words ‘Day Care Service No 34’, and a stamp with the word ‘APPROVED’ encircling an awesome face.

The presence of the number "34" there made me laugh due to the fact that this is a daycare center that's being referred to there. X3

“It gives a bad reputation for some reason, so it’s a new rule. It's along with the 'No giving the Pokemon candy' , and the 'Strictly, under no circumstances, are Wailord allowed' rule.”

XD

Wes facepalmed himself, groaning slightly. What’s wrong with this entire region? It’s like they all swallowed daft pills at birth or something...

And have taken two of them every morning since. X3

“Why. Is. Everyone. So... oh... um, never mind, I’m just...tired,” Wes said tiredly, giving up.

I find myself amused by the fact that he said that he was tired tiredly. X3

“Me too,” Rui said, yawning louder. “It’s tired, and I’m early...”

XD I love that line. It kind of reminds me of the time that Space Ghost said, "Ahh, you have a drinking problem, don't I?" X3

“We could always build a fort,” Eagun suggested.

“Out of what?” Wes countered, still waiting for a connection with Sherles.

“Good question... the Pikachu, maybe?”

...I just pictured such a fort. It was... quite the image. XD

“Yes, positive!” Rui shouted into the P*DA.

“Rui, not so loud. My ear is there as well...” Wes said, wincing.

Holy cheese! Rui used hyper voice! X3

*suddenly pictures a creature whose appearance is a mix of Rui's and that of a loudred*

...Wow. XD

“‘According to ancient lore, the Relic Stone holds blah blah...It is said that Celebi can blah blah blah...’ basically purify Pokemon, I suppose, like the Relic Stone... Ah, here we go. ‘To meet it however, you must use an item called the ‘Time Flute’ which is all that one needs to bring Celebi to the Relic Forest.’”

Imagine if the book actually, literally contained all that "blah"-ing. X3

“So they mean to take the item which can summon Celebi,” Wes concluded. “Well, that sucks.”

That line, in that context, made me laugh for some reason. XD (Maybe the context was the reason, actually. X3)

The annoyed and talkative Cipher grunt raised his hand up irritably, and got promptly hit on the head by one of Dakim’s oversized fists.

BONK! XD Ah, I do so like it when things like that happen... ^^

“I would,” the jogger replied, “but I was hungry so I ate something I found and now I think if I stop running, I’ll die!” With that the man ran off and started running around a patch of grass again.

Wow, that's certainly some... uh, interesting logic right there. XD

Stupid region. It’s all so...stupid, Andrew decided with a sigh.

Eloquently put, Andrew. XP

“We are Cipher, we are here, something something we like beer! Gonna go kick up a fuss, all your base are belong to us...” they sung, before trailing off into silence, noticing the Police force.

Epic lyrics are epic. X3

Noticing they were in the middle of the beginning battle, the charity group screamed and ran for cover, frantically throwing cookies about to try and protect themselves.

And that's an... uh, interesting self-defense method. XD

Then he frowned. From behind the group, a large figure appeared – unlike the rest, he was clad in white – they looked like pyjamas. He was far away, but strangely he seemed almost double the height of the rest as he came closer, if not more. It was almost as more startling as the fact that he appeared to be wielding a cactus.

What the hell? Andrew thought.

Yeah, I think that's about how I'd respond to that--that is, if I could even find my wits in the face of such a sight. X3;

“Aha! Some action! I always like a good fight,” he bellowed, before using the cactus like a baseball bat, hitting the Growlithe into the air back the way it came, as it yelped in surprise.

I probably shouldn't laugh at that, but... yeah. Can't help it. XDD;

“Quick, focus your attacks on him!” Andrew decided, realising the newcomer was an unusual threat.

Unusual, indeed... X3

DISHWASHERS! IF YOU HAVENT BOUGHT ONE YET, YOU MUST BE MAD! MAYBE NOT AS MAD AS THE MAD HATTER BECAUSE HE’S JUST MAD! BUT YOU’LL BE CRAZY NOT TO BUY OUR CHICKEN-FLAVOURED DISHWASHERS!”

I must confess that I rather liked the use of the increasing font size to represent an increase in volume there. Plus, that was one heck of an entrance that Wes and Rui made, what with their presence being announced by that advertisement blaring on the radio. And wtf, chicken-flavored dishwashers? XD Wow. And great, now that's gone and made me picture someone licking a dishwasher to see if it does indeed taste like chicken. XD;

“Go hit them... and stuff!”

Nice work on that battle command, Rui. XP

“Wes, why are there cookies on the ground?” Rui yelled as they ran.

I love that question. XD

“Maku!” (Can do!) Makuhita cried, before he turned around and punched Andrew in the gut.

“Not me – I’m on your side, idiot!” Andrew gasped, doubling over. Makuhita frowned.

“Mahuhita. Maku – HITA!” (He said ‘punch everyone you can see’. I can see you – so DIE!) Makuhita reasoned, punching Andrew again before running off to attack everyone else.

*shrugs* Sounds like sound enough reasoning to me, though maybe I'm just a bit biased because it amuses me as much as it does that Makuhita went and socked that guy. X3

Dakim calmly strode up the steps and ducked his head so he would fit through the door into the building, ignoring the jogger outside who stared at his size.

Annnd there went my mind, straight into the gutter. @.@

No cactuses are allowed – it’s against the rules!

I wonder what led to that being put in the rules--has someone actually busted in wielding a cactus as a weapon before? XD That's certainly an amusing thought, especially if said someone is significantly smaller than Dakim but said someone's cactus is not significantly smaller than the one Dakim's using. X3

PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF THE PLATFORMS – NO RUNNING OR BREAKDANCING PERMITTED

I wonder if the person responsible for there being "no cactuses" rule is also the one responsible for there being a "no breakdancing" rule... X3

Thinking about how the platforms stay up in the air is severely discouraged.

Yeah, I'm sure the staff at Mt. Battle don't want to have to have more exploded brain matter to clean up than is absolutely necessary. X3

“Umbreon,” (Man, imagine if I dropped an egg off from here,) Umbreon muttered.

Don't you mean a rock, Umbreon? XP

“Umbreon, umb-” (But seriously, if I dropped an egg from here, it’d just go ‘SPLAT’, just like that-)

“Espeon! Esp!” (I said SHUT UP! Or you’ll go splat!) Espeon warned.

The combination of the phrase "go splat", multiple uses thereof, and a character threatening another character with a threat containing that phrase results in me being amused. XD

..."Threatening another character with a threat", wow. Dig my vocabulary there. X3;

“Is your name Vander?” Dakim begin, again taking a look at the photograph he had in his hand.

“Yes, I am. I mean, yes, it is,” Vander confirmed, quickly but quietly.

XD I thought Vander's little flub there was a nice touch.

“Yes... well... unfortunately, I don’t believe I have it here.”

“...what? That’s not allowed. You’re meant to have it here,” Dakim complained, as Wes and Rui finally caught up, careful to keep their distance for the moment to catch their breath and observe the conversation.

"That's not allowed"... XD I found it funny that he said that.

“Espeon, use Reflect!” Wes ordered, as Espeon quickly summoned up a shimmering barrierin front of Vander -

- only for Dakim’s punch to go straight through it as if it hadn’t been there at all, and connect with Vander’s chest. He gasped, and then fell down.

“No!” Rui shouted, unsure whether to go and help or not. Dakim then turned around and observed the newcomers.

“Umbreon!” (Oh no, the man knows Brick Break!)

Cue sudden mental image of a mix between Dakim and a heracross. XD

“Umbreon!” (Yes, we have to go... um, buy a dishwasher!)

And now I am picturing Umbreon licking a dishwasher. Lovely. XP
 

Congrats on another chapter with the capability to produce amusement. I look forward to the next--I wonder how Our Heroes will react to a certain something that Dakim happens to have on his team... o.o

[The Great Butler]

“If you’re not, then show me your moves!” Dakim challenged. As the boy looked back at Dakim blankly, Dakim suddenly brought his fist back, and threw it forward.

“You’re too slow! Out of my way! DAKIM PAWWUNCH!” Dakim yelled, connecting with his punch before running onwards.

This is all I need to quote to show how win this chapter is.

[Divinity_123]

Oh man, I finally caught up (it took me a damn long time to start reading again lol, but it's the fact that I actually bothered to dig up that doc. I had of this C+P'd and actually took my time to read the whole thing is astounding).There were tons of moments were I literally fell off my seat with laughter.

You truly are the king of sppf comedy, bnb

Now if you can only churn out chapters a little quicker :P

Oh and Umbreon for the muthaaaaaeffin win.

Divinity_123

[Son_of_Shadows]

Hey, Dakim! Show me ya moves!

Heheh. Seriously, awesome chapter, though maybe not quite as funny as some others. A couple of grammar issues too, but nothing very noticeable. Please continue to kick ***.

[stoneman6666]

Hey Bobandbill!

Just like to say, I've been watching from the sidelines for quite a while now, and I gotta say, you are damn talented!

Unfortunatley I'm pressured for time so I cannae (I'm not scottish, I just love the word :P) pick out quotes, so just take it as I love it all so much, I cant choose one, okay?

Just thought I'd say, is that Avatar pic (or whatever) of miror B hand drawn by you?
If so I would love to somehow see some graphical acompanyments to the awesomenessment of the story (tale? saga?). (oh wait, just saw this: "Avatar is edited, cropped pic by 'minty-fivestar' on DA" Now I dunno what DA is but would this minty-fivestar be able to do artwork?)

Anyway, thats all I got, except for keep up the good work!

EDIT: Forgot to say, I'm not regularily (sp?) on here, so I wont bother with the PM list thingy, and you'll probably never hear from me again :P)

[makuhitaispwnzorz]

@ bobandbill: I just thought of what you can do with Mirakle B.: send him to the cutting room floor... He doesn't even have a Shadow Pokemon, for crying out loud... And lord knows you have enough material from this game to write a SERIES of Fan Fics... So save us the trouble of enduring what will essentially be a filler chapter (not that your work is something to be endured; more like marveled at) and get to the meat of this adventure, okay?

[bobandbill+]

Cheers for the (rather prompt O_O) reviews people. =D

Now where's that spoiler tag button...
    Spoiler:- Replies to reviewssssss:

Show Spoiler

 

Originally Posted by LadyMiir

HUZZAH! An update! *dance of joy*

*dances because he actually wrote something*

I love the "I'm sorry, my brain already broke" comment from Umbreon. I always wondered about those platforms...

They are very mind-breaking, indeed. Doesn't stop it being one of my favourite places though, as it looks pretty nice in certain areas.

Just as hilarious as the previous chapters, great work! Looking forward to the next update. =)

Thanks for reading and reviewing. Now go wear your patience hat. =P

Originally Posted by mattman324

COFFEE! Yanma is awesome. If it evolves, it will become even better.

And depending on how you look at it, it may become worse... XD

I KNEW this would happen.

Ah, so you remembered the Zoomer's malfunctions then, good memory. (Considering the time-skip and all).

But what if I want to think about them staying in the ai- *shot*

*shrugs* Well, that's what happens... you get shot by logic.

O_O Someone has been playing to much brawl...

I think you mean not enough people have been playing Brawl recently. >:]

I don't know of any attack Espeon knows that effects umbreon. Still, the image of an Umbreon pancake is... disturbing.

Oh, there are non-psychic moves he knows... just look at Return, for instance. Push over the edge, and pancake-ified Umbreon.

Originally Posted by JirachiTheAnimeAddict

*giggles* Umbreon's so cute.

Interesting chapter. And a bit random.

Well, random's my middle name! =P

Dakim... not what I was expecting. He seems like a brainless bully to me.

Alucard: He seemed like that to me too.

Hey, what are you doing here?! GET LOST! *shoves Alucard away*

Alucard: HEY!!! *falls over* OW!

Serves you right for interrupting me.

Alucard: *deathglares, vanishes*

Hmph. Sorry about that, bobandbill.

...ignoring the sudden appearance and disappearance of Alucard there... I guess that's how I've always viewed him. Unlike the other admins he is never in charge of a town or something important like that (heck, even Miror B was entrusted to Pyrite, and he isn't the most focused person out there), but is instead employed as a hitman, really - only job is to go and steal something, and he tries to do so by attacking Mt Battle and punching people - hence my protrayal, whee. =)

Originally Posted by growlithe_master

oh my god, you actually updated this. im shocked, yet happy at the same time. anyway, it was a great chapter, hilarious, yadda yadda, lets get on to the highlights and the grammar nazi.

It's my intention to finish this fic, no matter how long it takes me. =)

Not sure if you did this on purpose, but it should be "It's early, and I'm tired..."

Done on purpose - which kinda shows how tired she actually was. =D But cheers for pointing out the other mistakes.

Awesome face!

Too awesome not to use. =P

I'll never look at the story of Noah's Ark the same way again.

You can blame Team Fortress 2 for that.

I have to admit it, but Space Saxophone is WAY cooler sounding than Time Flute.

Unfortunately such a musical instrument was deemed too cool for Colosseum. (That, and I guess it would be a hard instrument to pick up quickly or something, never mind that normally people don't go and start playing instruments perfectly straight-away anyways. *whistles*)

Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to school and sing that nonstop, it's that awesome.

I'm honoured. XD

No longer do you have to put up with bland-flavored dishwashers, with our new, patented, Chicken-Flavored Dishwashers!

Inedible, yet tastes like chicken!

I didn't know Spiderman even existed in the Pokemon world. You learn something new every day.

Hmm... maybe he would be known as Spinarakman?

Originally Posted by Missingno. Master

WHOOOO! Yes, a new chapter! Took long enough, but was well worth the wait.

You gotta love that constant really, really loud dishwasher advertisement.

My only complaint is that we didn't get to see the battle yet. Can't wait for the next chapter!

No battle yet, because I secretly just wanted you all to suffer the 'cliffhanger'. =P

References ahoy, Captain Dakim.

What references are you talking about? =P

Think Lv. 100 HP Electric Sunkern, Level 23 Crobats.

No, wait - lv. 100 HP Electric hacked Sunkern!

I give it 0/1000000000000. My laughing caused my mom to realize that I wasn't actually checking the National Hurricane Service website for hurricanes in the Atlantic. (There weren't any.)

That's good! (The lack of hurricanes, I mean. =P).

Originally Posted by psyrose3

...Um..what the heck does this mean....?

You mean you don't know what a profiterole is? D=

And the clueless heroes STILL have no idea who Nascour IS...

YET...

To be fair, they are kinda in a middle of a battle over Mt Battle, after all. XD But will they recall this name later, is the real question...

Originally Posted by Dramatic Melody

Your new chapter made me want to buy new chicken-flavored dishwashers.

That is all.


=))

Just send your money to 123 Fake Street, Pyrite Town, Orre for one. =P

It's fun to finally read a new chapter from you, bnb. There were a few mistakes (which I was too lazy to quote), but all in all this was a very refreshing read. I can't wait for the battle between Wes and Dakim!

And, outside of the comedy, I really like the characterization of Andrew. I don't play Colo/XD so all these characters (outside of Wes and Miror B) are relatively new to me, so if Andrew really actually acts like that in the games then disregard this point. Otherwise, his characterization is real good.

Awesome return, bnb! =P

Andrew appeared briely before - for the record, he is an entirely original character as I may have mentioned back then... *shifty eyes* After all, in the games the Police 'force' is basically Johnson and Sherles, and there's nobody brought in to help out from the other regions. So... cheers. =p Good to see you enjoyed the chapter.

Originally Posted by Sike Saner

The "mystery" of pokémon eggs... X3 Oh, excuse me, I meant "rocks". Silly me.

...No, I meant "pokémon eggs". X3

But anyway, yeah, I liked seeing that "mystery" touched upon there in that chapter since it was something that I've personally always found particularly silly and amusing in the games. X3

I thought it needed some adressing even if one can't breed Pokemon in Colosseum.

Awesome chapter title, not only because of the amusing repitition of the word "battle" that it contains but also because the word "battle" is just one that I find amusing in and of itself, so seeing it that many times in such close proximity to one another... yeah. XD

Truth be told, I did the chapter title last there...

The presence of the number "34" there made me laugh due to the fact that this is a daycare center that's being referred to there. X3

Yay, you picked it (and bothered to mention it). =D

Holy cheese! Rui used hyper voice! X3

*suddenly pictures a creature whose appearance is a mix of Rui's and that of a loudred*

...Wow. XD

Wow indeed. O_O

I must confess that I rather liked the use of the increasing font size to represent an increase in volume there. Plus, that was one heck of an entrance that Wes and Rui made, what with their presence being announced by that advertisement blaring on the radio. And wtf, chicken-flavored dishwashers? XD Wow. And great, now that's gone and made me picture someone licking a dishwasher to see if it does indeed taste like chicken. XD;

That's how you'd switch the dishwasher on, actually.

XD I thought Vander's little flub there was a nice touch.

It was actually a mistake I made when typing, which when found I decided to instead delete, to work it in anyways.

Congrats on another chapter with the capability to produce amusement. I look forward to the next--I wonder how Our Heroes will react to a certain something that Dakim happens to have on his team... o.o

Cheers for reading and reviewing again. =)

Originally Posted by The Great Butler

This is all I need to quote to show how win this chapter is.

...yay!

Originally Posted by Divinity_123

Oh man, I finally caught up (it took me a damn long time to start reading again lol, but it's the fact that I actually bothered to dig up that doc. I had of this C+P'd and actually took my time to read the whole thing is astounding).There were tons of moments were I literally fell off my seat with laughter.

Huzzah for that - glad to see you back, divy. =)

You truly are the king of sppf comedy, bnb

Now if you can only churn out chapters a little quicker :P

Oh and Umbreon for the muthaaaaaeffin win.

Divinity_123

Yes, my speed of chapter-release does need to improve...

Originally Posted by Son_of_Shadows

Hey, Dakim! Show me ya moves!

Heheh. Seriously, awesome chapter, though maybe not quite as funny as some others. A couple of grammar issues too, but nothing very noticeable. Please continue to kick ***.

I shall try my best. =)

Originally Posted by stoneman6666

Hey Bobandbill!

Just like to say, I've been watching from the sidelines for quite a while now, and I gotta say, you are damn talented!

Unfortunatley I'm pressured for time so I cannae (I'm not scottish, I just love the word :P) pick out quotes, so just take it as I love it all so much, I cant choose one, okay?

Thanks for the comments. =)

Just thought I'd say, is that Avatar pic (or whatever) of miror B hand drawn by you?
If so I would love to somehow see some graphical acompanyments to the awesomenessment of the story (tale? saga?). (oh wait, just saw this: "Avatar is edited, cropped pic by 'minty-fivestar' on DA" Now I dunno what DA is but would this minty-fivestar be able to do artwork?)

Anyway, thats all I got, except for keep up the good work!

DA = deviantart.com - search minty-fivestar as a user there - and I'm pretty sure minty's here as a user of sppf with that exact username as well. Picture was made well before this fic, I'm pretty sure though. (But would there ever be a grapical acompanyment to the fic? Who knows...)

Originally Posted by makuhitaispwnzorz

@ bobandbill: I just thought of what you can do with Mirakle B.: send him to the cutting room floor... He doesn't even have a Shadow Pokemon, for crying out loud... And lord knows you have enough material from this game to write a SERIES of Fan Fics... So save us the trouble of enduring what will essentially be a filler chapter (not that your work is something to be endured; more like marveled at) and get to the meat of this adventure, okay?

Hmm... but anyone related to Miror B, no matter how wierd, deserves an explanation. =P Plus he has been requested to be explain long ago, and I've had many an idea on ow to use him if I were to go ahead with it already - but if so I promise it won't be separate from the plot I've got planned/the game's plot (because who wants to go...where he is, for no good reason?)

 

As for progress on the next chapter - I won't lie and just say it'll be at least a month and a bit before it can come out at the very earliest. The reason? My year 12 final, final exams are occuring throughout the next month, and they're all SUPER-IMPORTANT and all (way more than any other set of exams by far), so they take priority. I may yet write bits and pieces in spare time for I can't study 24/7 obviously, but only after then can I really start getting to work, wild celebrations aside. =P (And after that I have 4 months of holidays without stuff like school to get in the way - only other personal projects and holiday trips, so expect stuff to be written quicker then before!)

[Gardevoir Girl]

Ay ay ay... late again. Please add me to the PM list so I don't miss the next chapter by a month too.

Now, comments... forgive me if they've already been touched upon, I skipped the reviews this time (being as it's after 2 AM as I type this, I'm sure you can see why).

Just two mistake:

it’s a place where trainers testtheir Pokemon

Missed a space there, easy enough mistake to make.

“Espeon,” (Even this confuses me...) Espeon admitted,

Shouldn't it be 'this even confuses me'?

There were these two Pokemon, you see, who weren’t getting along with each other.

Oh, suuure they weren't.

The annoyed and talkative Cipher grunt raised his hand up irritably, and got promptly hit on the head by one of Dakim’s oversized fists.

And my brain filled in the 'clunk' sound effect as I read. XD

“You’re Wes, man! The guy who blew up Team Snagem! Man, that must have been cool!” Dakim then struck out a hand, offering Wes a handshake.

Certainly unexpected. For a moment I was worried there wouldn't be any "rawr, I'm so tough, check out my (something) that would make this place erupt if I sent it out".

Speaking of which, I'm eager to see how you do that bit.

Good luck with exams!

[bobandbill+]

Originally Posted by Gardevoir Girl

Ay ay ay... late again. Please add me to the PM list so I don't miss the next chapter by a month too.

Shall do. =)

Missed a space there, easy enough mistake to make.

Duly noted. =)

Shouldn't it be 'this even confuses me'?

Hmm... I believe both ways are correct, but this one seems to fit better, indeed. (Could be talking about other things that confuse him, but that suits the situation better. Also, noticed 'This confuses even me, or to an extent 'This confuses me, even...' could also work... interesting).

Oh, suuure they weren't.

Ah, but even Pokemon who dislike each other can summon these strange rocks. =P

Certainly unexpected. For a moment I was worried there wouldn't be any "rawr, I'm so tough, check out my ___ that would make this place erupt if I sent it out".

NO spoilers! D= But never fear, that would be a cop-out and I've gotta give Dakim the Admin his chance to...do something, I'm sure. XD

Good luck with exams!

Cheers, and thanks for the review as well.

Originally Posted by Tinman89Serebii

Nice story

...a rather broad commnt, but thanks all the same!

[heatran_ran]

This is really great. Although, to be honest, it wasn't as humurous as some of your previous chapters, this is still the best fic i've read in eons. Oh, and BTW I just had an idea for the end of the next chapter. Can you have tom punch Dakim's lights out? Just an idea.

keep up the good work!

[asperger1981]

Dakim+your style of writting= mayor comedy.

specially the the part about him 'knowing' brick break

and lets not forget...Wes opinions about the Orre region, specially his reaction about the lack of...sexual education, at least the part regarding pokemon that is.

example:

“Oh... well, a while back we had a few problems. There were these two Pokemon, you see, who weren’t getting along with each other.”

“I see – just trying to keep the Pokemon happy, fair enough,” Rui said.

“No, there’s more... the next morning when I went to check on them there were a number of strange oval-shaped rocks about the place. Most unusual.”

“Odd. Do you know where they came from?”

“No, but this phenomenon only happens when we have more than one Pokemon with us. We even had one of them sent to this really fancy-pants professor. Elm or something. He seemed confused by it too, though when we told him about it so he got started on examining it... and then that story started about how he went insane, so we never found out about his findings. ”

You’re kidding me, Wes thought. Clearly those were eggs, and this eluded a Pokemon Professor? I’m betting he realised though when it hatched, and… that’s what made him go crazy, like those newspapers had reported? Oh boy.

and lets not forget:

Wes facepalmed himself, groaning slightly. What’s wrong with this entire region? It’s like they all swallowed daft pills at birth or something...

Couldn't agree more with that.

[bobandbill+]

It's Christmas, everybody! (Well for me it is =P) And I have a chapter here! Co-incidence? ...maybe.

If anyone wants a brief reminder of what happened last chapter without reading it -     Spoiler:- whee brief:

Show Spoiler

 
Wes and Rui informed Sherles they could purify Shadow Pokemon via the Relic Stone, Makuhita and Croconaw-evolved-into-Feraligatr being the ones purified so far. They get told to help out at Mt Battle and leave for there. The police force brought into Orre to help out against Cipher end up intercepting the Cipher agents and a brawl between them breaks out. Dakim appears and hits Pokemon with a cactus before he enters Mt Battle to find Vander and get the Time Flute from him (which can summon Celebi who can purify Pokemon). Wes and Rui arrive in the Zoomer, Wes lets Makuhita help out in the ongoing battle and the two chase Dakim. Dakim punches out Vander + other people (who doesn't have the Time Flute on him) and then challenges Wes to a POKEYMANZ BATTLE because that's the cool thing to do, yo. AND THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP.
 

And now the chapter in question! Enjoy! Many thanks to Chris_the_Com for beta-reading this.

***

Chapter 16

*Insert relevant chapter title here*

“Ok then, man,” Dakim shouted as Wes, his Pokémon and Rui made their way to one side of platform number ten. “We’ll go with standard Orre battles rules – two Pokémon out at any one time! And if you cheat, I’ll just come over and punch you, man,” he added with a grin.

Wes looked at Dakim grab the unconscious Vander and set him down on his side of the platform like a ragdoll, and grimaced.

“I’m sure you’ll hold me to your word,” he muttered to himself, before he shook himself mentally. No point focusing on his PAWWWWWUNCH or the fact I’m about to battle him on a platform with no fences and sharp stones of doom below us; I have to instead focus my thoughts on the battle and calm down.

Wes breathed in and out slowly for a few moments as he walked, his breaths hidden by the wind which battered at Mt Battle’s rocks below and sent a large carpet of clouds above their heads flying around the top of Mt Battle. I bet it sometimes rains over here... anyways, focus. In, and out. In, and out. Yes. Pawunch. Damn, I thought about Dakim punching me again. In, and out. Wes’ eyes then fell down to the ground as he approached the edge of the platform, and saw the gray, jagged mountainside of Mt Battle gleaming up at him.

I hate this place, Wes decided.

“Umbre...Umbre EON!” (I wanna go home... I don’t want to go SPLAT!) Umbreon said with a shudder, noticing Espeon smile slightly.

“Wes, why has every single battle- well, every normal battle anyway...why have they been all double battles anyway?” Rui asked quietly.

“Just the region standard, I believe,” Wes said. “Other regions just leave it up to the trainers to decide how battles go, but in Orre, some crazy person went and made it a law that if both opponents have two Pokémon or more it’s a double battle or else... some weird sort of punishment involved if anyone is seen not to go with that format. I believe part of it was involved being forced to work in a puppet show while yodelling or some stupid thing like that...”

“That can’t be true,” Rui objected.

“Rui, do you by chance recall seeing any puppet shows advertised in Pyrite Town’s theatre after we battled all those people who fought our Pokémon at the same time?” Wes pointed out. “Or any strangled screams coming from that theatre?” Rui pondered this for a moment, before wincing.

“And I thought this region couldn’t get any weirder...”

“I was greeted with such a sight when I first came here,” Wes continued. “And heck, they did want my left arm when we got caught snagging Pokémon in Pyrite...” Wes said. “But anyway, we have to worry about this Pokémon battle. Unless you have any ideas on how to avoid it, and looking at Dakim,” Wes said, as the two turned to see Dakim having assumed a fighting stance, “I don’t believe there are many options beyond having a Pokémon Battle. We’ll just have to hope Vander hangs in there and I can win this.”

“Are you ready, man?” Dakim bellowed over the wind.

“Ok, Dakim,” Wes shouted back, before turning to Rui again. “Rui, you’d better move to platform nine just in case...an attack could go astray or something. Do you have any Pokémon on you?”

“I have Quagsire...”

“In that case, if all goes to hell just run for your life,” Wes said. Rui nodded slowly, and walked off to platform nine, making sure the wind didn’t push her off the narrow pathway between the two levitating stages. Save for the wind, the only noise came from below each platform from the constant jittering of gears and propellers that kept each platform up. Somehow, Wes added to himself.

“Since I’m so thoughtful, I’ll let you send out your two Pokémon first, man,” Dakim said, as he took a necklace off of his neck, which was made out of five Poké Balls. One of them was larger than the others – an Ultra Ball, which had one half black and yellow rather than red like the usual Poké Ball, and the other white.

“Right, come on Wes, you can do this,” Rui said, leaning back onto a small pole that stuck out of the side of the platform she was on, only to give a small shriek when it began spluttering out weird noises, before a loud tune made mostly of a drum beat overshadowed by several trumpets and string instruments began to play. Vander seemed to be able to hear it, mumbling to himself while still within his unconscious state.

“No... not the Mt Battle theme music... days of standing on end... that same tune... change it...” he said quietly in-between strange snorting sounds. Rui leaned closer to the pole. “This is some sort of...miniature jukebox?” she declared uncertainly.

“Man, what’s wrong with you, man?” Dakim said, inspecting Vander by beginning to poke him.

“Rui, you better change it. We don’t want to give Vander any, err, further brain trauma after being punched by Dakim...” Wes told Rui with a wince as he uttered the last few words. Rui hurriedly gave the small pole a whack, and the music changed to a softer tune.

“Yes... better...” Vander muttered, before he fell silent again. Wes and Rui glanced at each other, before exchanging shrugs.

Well, I guess Miror B is not the only person in this region affected by music, Wes thought. Well, whatever. It’ll just be yet another distraction, and luckily I won’t have to dance during this battle.

“All right – you’re up, Espeon and Umbreon!” Wes said, as the two Pokémon trotted forward. “Be wary, keep your guard up, and work together.” So... I have those two, that crazy Yanma, Feraligatr, and that’s it, with Makuhita being in that fight at the front of this place. Great. Why didn’t I bring another Pokemon?

“Umb! Umbreon! Umbreon...” (About time! Why couldn’t we just have started this chapter by battling! All this waiting made me just think more about SPLAT and I don’t like going SPLAT anymore...) Umbreon moaned to himself, as Espeon rolled his eyes.

“Esp... Esp, Espeon.” (Calm down, it’ll be all right. Firstly, Wes can just recall us to our Poké Balls if we fall off, and we should be able to smash Dakim’s team easily enough.) At that, Umbreon grinned softly.

“Umbreon!” (Gee, thanks, bro!)

“Esp.” (Just don’t ever bug me again.)

“Oho! The... purple and black one, I see,” Dakim acknowledged. “Your best ones, I presume...Well, man, I’ll keep my best until last! Come out...blue one made of metal and that other one made out of rock!” Dakim shouted, throwing two Poké Balls out onto the field.

He doesn’t remember the names of his Pokémon? And the best until last...that may be his Shadow Pokémon, if he has any. But for now... Wes mused, looking at Dakim’s Pokémon begin to materialise. The one made out of rock... that’s a Golem. I’ve beaten its pre-evolutions before... Looks like a large boulder with stubby arms and legs. Hmm, good defences, but those limbs? Not much speed or reach, surely. And that other one must be a Metang... never saw that one before. It’s a robotic Pokémon, so it’s a Steel type... and also Psychic type as well? I think. And those arms-

“Dodge it, quick!” Wes yelled, as the disc-shaped Metang levitated forward with one of its aforementioned blue arms at Umbreon, who jumped to the side but without avoiding a quick hit to the side of his body.

“Metang Tangtangtangtang. Meta Ang. Meta,” (Rules: Sleep Clause, Freeze Clause, OHKO Clause, Evasion Clause, Species Clause, Strict Damage Clause, Awesome Clause, Pastry Clause, Paid Overtime Clause. Battle prediction: Victory. Metang used Bullet Punch. Umbreon lost 18% of its health,) the Metang said in a computerised voice, before continuing to list even more technical terms and statistics. Its red eyes glared straight ahead, from behind a rectangular screen of sorts.

“Umbre... eon?” (Hey, we didn’t get the, err, um, whole description-err, analysing business done yet...wait, what you say?) Umbreon lamented dizzily, before leaping back at Metang, only for his opponent to fly back out of harm’s way.

“Espeon; Espi...” (Wes and I were doing that; you were humming away happily to the music instead...) Espeon pointed out.

“Umbre!” (Well it’s epic!) Umbreon protested.

Damn, that was quick, Wes pondered, before his mind helpfully transferred the image of the sharp metal spikes that were attached to the ends of Metang’s two arms onto Dakim’s fists. I really ought to stop thinking such things...

“Dodge quicker next time!” Rui offered in an attempt to be helpful.

“Not on my watch, man!” Dakim laughed. “Bullet Pawwunch again, bluey! And rocky, Hammer Arm on the purple one!”

“Metang,” (Affirmative) Metang hummed in response as it came at Umbreon again, but Dakim’s Golem instead looked at Dakim with a confused expression.

“Golem...” (I’m colour blind...)

“Oh yeah, man, I forgot!” Dakim acknowledged, while Umbreon, now more aware of Metang’s attack this time, managed to dodge the attack.

“Umb, reon! Reon!” (Aha, I dodged it, go me! Now suffer!) Umbreon said, before charging at the Metang with a Tackle attack, only to bounce off comically with a loud clang.

“Meta. Met. Ang. Ta. Ang. Ang. Ta: Ang.” (Bullet Punch missed. Umbreon used Tackle. Metang lost 0.001% of its health. Umbreon lost 3% of its health in recoil damage. Does not compute. Recalculating. Verdict: Umbreon is stupid.) Metang continued.

“It’s a Steel type, Umbreon!” Wes called. “Think, you can’t hit it with physical attacks... but if it acts like a computer to such an extent, then a good electric shock might bring it down rather quickly,” Wes continued.

“Umb... Umbreon....” (Ouch... ouuuuuuuccccccch...) Umbreon groaned loudly, as Espeon sighed, leaping into the fray himself. Ignoring Dakim’s attempts to explain what purple was like to the Golem, Espeon leapt onto the Metang and began channelling a Confusion attack into Metang’s mind in an attempt to overpower his Psychic opponent. Metang responded and pushed back mentally against Espeon’s attack, the two locked in combat as they tried to overcome the other.

“You see, purple is... a fruit. No, it’s... well, purple is purple, man,” Dakim said to Golem, who sighed in response.

“Good work, Espeon!” Wes said. “Now, Umbreon – Secret Power on Metang!” Umbreon responded with a small nod, concentrating his own thoughts as a small yellow orb began to come into shape, emitting sparks outwards.

“Look, you see... man, never mind, use Rock Throw on that Pokémon!” Dakim commanded to Golem suddenly, pointing at Umbreon. Realising that he could have pointed to tell Golem who to attack in the first place, Dakim muttered ‘man’ to himself as Golem stepped forward and grabbed one of its arms with the other and removed it from its body, before he flung it at Umbreon. The attack made contact, hitting Umbreon in the head.

“Umb... Umbreon?” (Oww... an arm?) Umbreon said with surprise, his concentration lost as his Secret Power attack dispersed away into the air, as Metang suddenly broke out of his mental arm-wrestle with Espeon, flying to the side suddenly in an effort to fling Espeon off the edge of the platform. Espeon leapt off hastily and landed on the platform with ease though, and shot a glare at Metang.

“I’d admit, that was a very...unique version of Rock Throw,” Wes admitted.

“Yeah, normally they just pull the rocks out of hammer-space or something,” Rui agreed.

“Metang. Tang. Metang Ang. Ang. Ang,” (Espeon used Confusion. It hurt. Metang lost 11% of its health. Reconfiguring circuits. Umbreon is now confused,) Metang rattled off.

“...Umbre!? UM!?” (Why did it throw its arm at me? WHAT!?) Umbreon yelled at the arm, somehow expecting answers from it. The Golem meanwhile walked slowly towards Umbreon, seemingly intent on continuing the attack.

“Espeon?” (How are you going to fight having thrown an arm away though, you stupid thing?) Espeon asked curiously.

“Gole,” (‘Tis only a scratch,) Golem said as it continued, while Espeon suddenly went on the defensive, Metang launching Bullet Punch attacks at him now, Espeon moving from side to side rapidly in an attempt to make it hard for Metang to make contact.

“Umb? Eon!” (A scratch? Your arm’s off!) Umbreon wailed, eyes shifting from side to side.

“Golem.” (No it isn’t.)

“Snap out of it, Umbreon!” Wes shouted. ”Keep on the defensive until Umbreon gets some sense, Espeon!”

“Esp.” (Stupid Umbreon.)

“Umb!” (Well, what’s that then?) Umbreon cried, ignoring the others as he jerked his head at the arm.

“Golem,” (I’ve had worse,) Golem said, as it reached Umbreon. It then grabbed its arm again with its other one and started hitting Umbreon on the head with it. Umbreon’s eyes suddenly widened, as he growled in protest before latching onto Golem’s other arm with his teeth...

...only for the other arm to come off surprisingly easily. Umbreon glared at the pieces of rock within his mouth – one arm with Golem’s other one held within its grasp – before Umbreon shrugged and ran off with them to the side of the platform.

“Umbreon!” (Ok, Espeon, go and attack Metang again, and soon I’ll try to hit it again!) Umbreon called, as Espeon shrugged and jumped onto Metang again, once again attacking him with his mind.

Good, so being hit on the head again brought Umbreon to his senses, Wes thought with relief.

Umbreon meanwhile leaned his head over the side of the platform, eyes clenched shut so he didn’t have to see what was down below, and dropped Golem’s arms below. He then turned around and began to charge his Secret Power attack once more, while noticing Golem waddling forward.

“Golem!” (Have at you!)

“Um? Umbreon!” (What? You stupid rock, you’ve no arms left!)

“Golem,” (Just a flesh wound,) Golem said, still persisting forward, albeit still rather slowly. “Gol,” (So what if I don’t have any arms,) it continued. Umbreon sighed, seemingly over the fact it threw its own arms at him now, returning to focus on his attack, the ball of electricity shining more brightly then the previous time.

Dakim looked on, scratching his head. “Why have I not beated him yet?” he said to himself, oblivious to the fact that he mispronounced ‘beaten’. “Blue thing, punch that purple one again instead of floating and thinking like that!” Dakim commanded. “Rocky, punch that black Pokémon as well!”

Golem looked at Dakim with exasperation.

“Oh, right. Then use Rollout!” Dakim said. “And then punch it!” he added.

“Ok, now Umbreon, and jump to the side, quick!” Wes shouted. Umbreon nodded and sent the attack at Metang, while Espeon jumped off just as it hit. Sparks surrounded the metallic Pokémon and spread across its body.

“Metanganganganganganganganganganganga...” (Umbreon used Secret Power. It’s super effective! Does not compute. Secret Power is not of a super effective type. Circuits failing. The server is down, try again later. Error 404 page not found. Re-calibrating gerbils. The cake is...aaaaaaaa...) Metang stammered quickly, before it suddenly fell to the ground, its red eyes fading out.

“Aha! Direct hit!” Wes said happily. I thought a direct hit of that attack would fry that Pokémon up pretty fast, although that was somewhat easier than expected...

Umbreon cheered as well, wagging his tail as he turned around and taunted Golem.

”Umbre-EON!” (And now look, you have no legs either- ARRGH!) Umbreon cried, jumping to the side as Golem rolled past, narrowly missing Umbreon. Espeon then walked to where Umbreon was and looked over the edge.

“Esp,” (Well, that was easy,) Espeon commented as he observed Golem slowly become smaller and smaller as it fell down towards the rocks below. Dakim also ran over, holding a Poké Ball in his hand and aiming it at Golem.

“Return to me, my rock!” Dakim shouted, as he tried to recall it, as he threw another Poké Ball at the platform. “Attack with that wet liquid thing...water, that’s it! You... err, other blue Pokémon, man!” Dakim continued, as a Marshtomp came out from the Poké Ball. The Pokémon immediately sprayed jets of water at Umbreon and Espeon from its mouth, but the two ducked and jumped to the side respectively, avoiding the attack.

“While there’s only one Pokémon there, attack with Return and Tackle, Espeon and Umbreon!” Wes shouted. The two grinned and charged at the mud fish Pokémon, Marshtomp looking with disappointment at the fact he was currently outnumbered.

“Marshtomp marsh!” (But I herd you liek Marshtomp!) it wailed as he tried to swat at them with his flipper-like arms, but missed as the two collided with him. Rui cheered as she and Wes watched his Pokémon dominate Marshtomp with ease, the two ramming the light-blue Pokémon again and again.

“Espeon!” (Nobody likes you or your pre-evolution!) Espeon jeered, charging in once more. Desperate, Marshtomp thrashed his body violently, hitting both Espeon and Umbreon away a short distance more by luck than skill, the two falling over in surprise.

“Aha, got you!” Dakim called, as he managed to make contact with Golem with the Poké Ball and recalled him, before he sent Golem out again onto the platform near Marshtomp. “But you don’t look very well, man,” he mused with a frown as Golem looked tiredly at its opponents again. Then Dakim’s mouth broke into a sudden grin. “Aha! I’ve had a great idea! Marshtomp, use Rock Throw!”

Rock Throw? Didn’t expect Marshtomp to know that move, Rock Tomb maybe... wait, they're nearly the same thing, Wes thought.

“Ma, Marsh... Marshtomp!” (Oh, that’s when I throw rocks at them...aha, a rock!) Marshtomp exclaimed upon noticing Golem, picking it up clumsily with his arms before hitting Golem with his two fin-like tails towards Umbreon and Espeon, who were getting to their feet.

“And now, rock,” Dakim said as Golem flew through the air, “use Explosion!”

“Umbre? Umb!” (Explosion? Hey!)

“Arrgh great, hit the ground!” Wes yelled to Rui before he took his own advice and practically threw himself at the platform’s floor.

”Esp Esp Esp-” (Bugger bugger bugger) Espeon stammered, hurriedly throwing up a wall of light around himself and Umbreon. Golem however flew through Umbreon’s Reflect and found itself right above Umbreon. Realising the opportunity, it grinned.

“Golem,” (Boom,) it said, before it blew up, its smile fading when Golem realised it too would faint from the attack.

Why do I always end up using this attack? it thought, as it emitted a flash of light as a result of the Explosion attack. Bits of rock flew everywhere and everyone was momentarily blinded, before being deafened by a loud bang that echoed off the mountainsides below and around them. The music that was still playing in a loop from Rui’s platform stopped abruptly, and silence began to descend.

Espeon was the first to move, his Reflect attack saving him from most of the force. He had still been all too close for comfort to the attack, his fur standing on end and covered in bits of dirt and rock from Golem. He glanced around and felt about with his mind to see what happened. It’s all right – I’m still alive for one, Espeon thought. Wes and Rui were getting up to their feet, Dakim was recalling his fainted Golem – or what was left of it - and Metang to their Poké balls, seemingly unfazed whatsoever by the attack, and Vander was still out of it, surprisingly. Marshtomp, despite being far away from the attack, was also hurt, apparently being hit by one of Golem’s legs that must have come off during its Explosion attack. The platform was intact, but something about the sound made by the propeller underneath, which was perpetually moving to keep the platform up, seemed a bit odd now. And Umbreon was still standing.

Wait, what?

“Esp...eon?”( You’re... all right?) Espeon asked.

“U-Umb...” (Yeah, I’m fine,) Umbreon replied with a grin.

“Esp,” (Oh,) Espeon said. How did he survive that? Maybe he’s more thick-headed then I thought.

Suddenly Umbreon sighed. “Umb, Umbreon...” (No, I lied, I’m very much ouch now...) Umbreon said, slumping to the ground and promptly losing consciousness.

Ok, maybe not, Espeon continued. Wes returned Umbreon to his Poké Ball, as Dakim struck a pose.

“YEEESSSS!” Dakim shouted as he withdrew his fainted Golem. “You beat one of them!”

“Are you crazy, Dakim?” Wes shouted. “Sure, you made Umbreon faint, but I wouldn’t say this place is such a great place for explosions.”

“Sorry, man, I forgot,” Dakim said sheepishly.

Man, he is rather dumb, Wes thought with disbelief. But he didn’t move an inch from that explosion, and he just stood there perfectly still... dumb he may be, but that’s just scary. And Umbreon’s fainted as well.

“Anyways, go and fight, my orange one!” Dakim shouted, while throwing another Pokémon out onto the platform. A Camerupt came forth, the large orange Pokémon taking up significantly more space than the other Pokémon. The camel-like Pokémon grunted, and stared into space as smoke came out of the miniature volcanos that were on its back.

“Espeon.” (Oh cool, someone related to Quagsire.)

“Cam,” (Moo,) Camerupt responded.

“Blue one, you look tired, man. Use Rest, and orange thing, protect it!” Dakim shouted.

“Marsh!” (Nap time!) Marshtomp said wearily, before it closed its eyes and fell asleep, while still standing. Camerupt stepped forward in front of it and made another grunt.

Ah, so he wants to protect Marshtomp, meaning he feels it’s still some sort of threat to my Pokemon – maybe it knows a strong move or something. But if I can outnumber it later on again it’ll be easy judging by before, so then... “Go, Yanma!” Wes called, sending out the Pokémon. It immediately buzzed about, seemingly more concerned with whether it could smell any coffee than the situation or location.

“Espeon, begin by attacking Camerupt with Confusion!” Wes said.

Espeon grinned. “Espi!” (I’ve a better idea!) Espeon said, as he closed his eyes and focused. Suddenly, a ray of multi-coloured light came out of the red gem in Espeon’s forehead and struck Camerupt in the eyes, the beast grunting in pain and stumbling about, only to step on Marshtomp’s tails and wake it up.

“Marsh!” (Arrgh!) it cried, instinctively spraying water to protect itself, managing to hit Camerupt who bellowed in pain.

“Ah, good work there – Psybeam,” Wes grinned. “Yanma,” Wes continued quickly, “if you focus and battle now, I promise I’ll give you some coffee afterwards!” Yanma enthusiastically spun around and shrilled in response.

“Yanmayanyanyanyanyan!?” (Yay-for-coffee-I-like-coffee-do-you-like-coffee-can-I-have-coffee-now!?) Yanma demanded, now flying around Wes’s head.

“Err,” Wes said uncertainly, unsure what Yanma was saying. “I’d give you some coffee now, but that Camerupt drunk it all...” he tried, pointing at the large Pokémon which was currently glaring at Marshtomp angrily. Dakim was trying to yell at it to calm down, but to little avail.

“Yan? YANMAMAMAMAM!” (That-drunk-my-coffee? You’ll-pay-for-this-how-DARE-you-drink-COFFEE-its-MY-coffee-coffee-coffee!) Yanma cried in outrage, suddenly charging into Camerupt from behind again and again with incredible speed, appearing only as a blur to all.

“Now, Espeon, use Return!” Wes called, surprised at the reaction he caused in Yanma. Hmm, well Yanma is still a Shadow Pokémon, so no wonder that made it go so crazy... Espeon meanwhile charged into Camerupt as well, the hit too much for the orange Pokémon.

“Cam,” (Meh,) the Camerupt muttered, as it fell to the ground with a loud whump. The platform groaned uneasily in response, as Dakim looked on in amazement.

“Man, you sure know about battling... nobody even reached Camerupt before, let alone knocked it out, man!” Dakim said in awe. “Although maybe the fact most of my opponents decided to run away instead of battling had something to do with that, so they just lost to my fists,” he added with a grin.

Then that explains why Dakim isn’t that good with battling with Pokémon and can’t even remember their names, if they all ran away – most likely from the sight of him if anything, Wes thought. Can’t blame them for that. And that’s why I’ve only lost one Pokémon and he’s lost nearly four! It’s clear he’s better at hitting things himself...

“Then clearly they weren’t very good,” Wes muttered. “As it is, you only have that tired-out Marshtomp over there...”

“And one more!” Dakim grinned. “Sure, it’s only one Pokémon and one I’ve never used, but it’s my best!” he boasted.

“A Pokémon you’ve never used before? Why the confidence?” Wes asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, you’ll see. I even remember what it’s called! Go and finish this, Entei!” Dakim called, sending out his last Poké ball – the large Ultra Ball.

“Espeon-” (Oh, I think you got its name-) Espeon began, before stopping short. Before him, Yanma and Wes, a lion-like creature, covered in brown fur appeared. A thick, black cuff-like ring occupied each of its legs, and a cape of fur billowed out from behind its head flapping in the wind, looking like smoke was comfortably sitting on its back. It stomped its front feet as it glared at its surroundings with pitch-black eyes which stared from its volcano-shaped head. The top of its head sported a bright yellow flame-like crest with marks the colour of magma on the side of its face, which was partially obstructed by a white, handlebar moustache.

“Wes,” Rui said finally, “is that...”

“Yes,” Wes said softly, eyes wide. “That’s a legendary Pokémon. Entei. A real Entei.”

“Espeon...” (Ok, maybe you were right...) Espeon conceded, slapping his face with one of his paws in shock.

“Yanmamama!” (I-bet-you-drunk-my-coffee-too-suffer!) Yanma raved, charging forward and paying no heed to the fact his next opponent was an Entei. Dakim smiled, and pointed at the blurred form of Yanma.

“Fire Blast, man!” he shouted. Entei leaned his body back slowly, and then opened its mouth, unleashing a large fireball that engulfed the unfortunate Bug-type. Wes grimaced as he hurriedly grabbed at Yanma’s Poké Ball and recalled Yanma as it shrilled in pain – even though he stood well away from the attack, he could feel the sheer heat generated from the attack. Entei roared loudly, and then looked around to face Espeon, who gulped.

“You see, Rui,” Wes continued, looking at the almighty Pokémon, “basically – we’re screwed.”

***

Meanwhile, the nurse in Mt Battle’s reception area glowered at the people who had retreated from the Mt Battle area.

“You miserable people! Since when were you allowed to leave so early?” she demanded.

“That large man, he was beating us up!” one of them protested. “And he carried an entire cactus with him as well – we were afraid he’d impale us with it or something. Luckily he threw it away once we all left...”

“Well thank goodness for that,” the nurse snapped. “The last time someone brought in a cactus, he ended up having his head stuck in the darn thing and then those Cactuar came to try to take it back as well, god knows why.”

“Don’t you mean Cacturne?”someone piped up.

“Whatever. They were big, green and smelly. And stupid, but at least they’re smarter than everyone else around here. Why the hell are you standing here then if you want to leave? And,” she continued moving to the window and looking outside at the battle between the Cipher agents and the police which was still going on, some of the people resorting to trying to punch each other out at this point, “can’t you lot shut up?”

The yelling continued, with a distant shout of ‘Hita!’ added in from somewhere in the fray.

“That’s why we can’t exactly leave,” another by the reception desk pointed out.

“Well, not on my watch! I just want all of you to leave so I can sleep! Of all days for Samantha to take a sick day...” she grumbled walking outside. Ignoring the shouts and yells of protest from inside, she strode down the steps. Andrew, frantically shouting orders at his Growlithe, noticed her and looked with bemusement as she sent out a Chansey into the middle of the front yard.

“Look what you’ve done, you fools! It took us ages to plant all of these flowers!” she yelled, fists clenched. “Punish them all, Chansey!”

“Please go back inside, miss, us policemen have everything under control-”

“Egg Bomb that annoying guy in the suit first!” the nurse yelled, and the next thing Andrew saw was a large egg collide with his face.

“Now everyone else!” the woman yelled triumphantly, as the Chansey waddled over and launched another Egg Bomb attack, this time at a Cipher agent.

“Oh, great- someone call the helicopter to get us out of here!” he cried, before he succumbed to the exploding egg.

***

Wes continued staring at the Entei, wondering what would happen.

“Ma, Marsh. Tomp...” (Yeah, I’ll just stand here on the side and get some rest. You can finish them off...) Marshtomp muttered, shifting to the side and again falling asleep.

“No wonder Dakim was so confident to begin with – I’ve got little chance against that thing. So many things can go wrong...” Wes grumbled. He frantically examined his P*DA for more info on Entei.

“Maybe not... but I’m afraid-” Rui began quietly, before Wes continued.

“According to this, whenever it barks, a volcano is said to erupt. Great! It’ll probably cause Mt Battle to erupt and the resulting eruption will kill us and... and all of our faces would melt and we’d be very dead and have never discovered the meaning of Christmas and we’d never get to eat Christmas cookies or mango pudding and that would be very, very bad.” He glanced some more at the P*DA further, and then sighed. “Oh wait, it’s just a rumour... and he already roared and nothing happened so I don’t think he’s interested in mass murder yet. Maybe. We just have to worry about the fact it ‘blasts fire that consumes all that it touches’.”

“And that’s not all!” Dakim boasted.

“Yeah, he’s right,” Rui said. “You see, it’s... a Shadow Pokémon. I can’t even see it properly, its aura is that thick.”

Wes sighed, before he paused. “Wait, a Shadow Pokémon... well, Cipher are really scaring the hell out of me, but here goes!” he yelled, suddenly throwing a Snag Ball at Entei. Entei merely smirked however, and fired another ball of flames at it which disintegrated the Snag Ball into ash, which somehow fell in such a way the particles spelt out the word ‘Fail’ on the ground. Entei then chased after Espeon, who hastily started running away.

“Hey, don’t try snagging my Pokémon, man,” Dakim said. “Try it again, and I’ll come and punch you!”

“Well, that’s not going to work,” Wes concluded quickly. “Time for plan B!”

“Is that to run away?” Rui asked.

“...no, that’s plan C for now. Plan B is to try and somehow overcome it. Go, Feraligatr!” Wes said hurriedly, sending out the large reptile onto the battle field. Think Wes, think. It’s a legendary Pokémon. It’s also a Shadow Pokémon. One mistake means my Pokémon are basically fainted, and I only have two left. I’ll just have to try my best, is all.

“Ok, Feraligatr, help out Espeon, buy him some time. That Entei’s very dangerous, fire-happy, and also it’s a Shadow Pokémon. Rile him up, get him to focus on you for now. And don’t fall off the edge...” Wes warned. Feraligatr nodded, and sprang to all fours and charged forward. ”Maybe try that new move as well!” Wes added as an afterthought.

“New move?” Rui asked, confused. Wes grinned back.

“Maybe we’re not that doomed after all if this works – I checked him up at the Pokémon Centre in Agate before we left,” Wes explained. “He learnt one more move when we purified him.”

“You purified him?” Dakim asked, scratching his head. “But Ein said that was not possible...”

“Fera!” (Oi, you overweight thing!) Feraligatr taunted, drawing a reaction from Entei who turned his head from Espeon and into a Water Gun attack. Roaring with pain, he charged straight at Feraligatr, who hopped out of the way as Espeon caught his breath. Grinning, Feraligatr sent another jet of water at Entei as Feraligatr continued to move awkwardly about.

“Ok Espeon, your turn to distract it!” Wes called. Espeon, catching on to Wes’ plan, glared at the Entei and attacked with another Psybeam. Entei howled in response as it struck him and fired another Fire Blast attack at Espeon, who darted away from the flames which left a large scorch mark on the platform’s floor, and began running for his life again. In his mad scramble, Espeon suddenly encountered Dakim, but quickly ran through Dakim’s legs as Entei gained ground.

“No, man, not at me!” Dakim shouted at the charging legendary, but realising Entei was paying no heed, he hurriedly punched the beast in the face. It roared in pain as it reeled from the punch, as Dakim then tried to convince it that Espeon had hit it somehow – as tall as Dakim was, Entei was just as big as him height-wise.

Good work, Espeon, but...Dakim just punched a legendary Pokémon there. His legendary Pokémon, Wes thought, lost for words.

“Wes, Feraligatr seems to be almost dancing...oh,” Rui said, noticing that the clouds from the summit of Mt Battle had suddenly moved a lot closer and were above their heads, casting a shadow over the platforms they stood on. A moment later, a few raindrops fell down. Then some more. And then a downpour began, puddles already forming on the platform’s floor.

“So he learnt Rain Dance!” Rui exclaimed, as Entei then accepted Dakim’s claims and turned to target Espeon once more, shooting another Fire Blast attack at Espeon, but this time the rain drastically reduced the attacks’ power.

“Espeon!” (Now you’re looking rather pathetic for a legendary!) Entei growled, and then leapt unexpectedly and kicked Espeon with one of its large legs. Espeon wailed, staggered about, and then fell, unconscious.

“No...” Wes said, recalling his Pokémon. “Damn damn damn. It got him so easily in the end... One left now...at least Marshtomp is still using Rest.”

“Fera. Gator!” (It took you that long to take one of us down. Pathetic!) Feraligatr shouted at Entei, as it ceased dancing and sprang forward, slashing at Entei’s large body. As Entei roared, Feraligatr then raised its arms, and the rain and water on the platforms flew at Entei and drenched it thoroughly with a Surf attack. As Feraligatr retreated, Entei, instead of immediately responding by charging at Feraligatr, stood still and summoned flames to envelop its body, the water on it and rain around it beginning to evaporate due to the heat created.

It doesn’t look tired at all – just mad. And angry. Even with a type advantage, I doubt I can win this.

“Wes, it’s in Hyper mode! Its aura’s gone dark red!” Rui cried.

“Yay,” Wes remarked sarcastically.

“Now, Entei,” Dakim said uncertainly, unsure what to do. Entei’s eyes had turned red, as it glared at Feraligatr, shaking with sheer rage. “Calm down, man. Chill.”

“ENTEI!” (ROAR!) Entei said instead, and with that it ran at Feraligatr, and only a few metres away from it, jumped in the air like it had when it had knocked out Espeon.

“DODGE!” Wes yelled, as Feraligatr ducked underneath Entei’s Stomp attack, Entei’s paws missing by mere centimetres. It then landed behind Feraligatr, and tried to turn straightaway but slipped on the wet surface and skidded away as the platform shuddered with the impact. Wes meanwhile had loaded a Snag ball from the Snag Machine and chucked it at Entei, but it missed its target, the orb bouncing off the platform’s floor and away, beginning to descend over the side. Meanwhile, Entei continued sliding along the ground at an all too rapid pace and fell off the edge, disappearing from sight along towards oblivion with the Snag Ball next to it as it let out a surprised howl.

“No, man!” Dakim yelled, grabbing his Ultra Ball and heading to the side again, as his Marshtomp suddenly began to wake up, fully rested. “Retu-”

“Blast that out of his hand, now!” Wes shouted, Feraligatr responding by shooting a jet of water which hit Dakim’s hand, and knocked the ball away and off the platform as well.

“You...did it,” Rui said softly. “Entei fell off...”

“No! It’s... it’s gone, man! No more Mr Nice man!” Dakim yelled, frowning.

Uh oh.

“Plan C, Rui!” Wes yelled, rapidly backing off with Feraligatr preparing for another fight, stepping in-between the two.

“But Wes!” Rui protested.

“No, get away, and I’ll follow soon when it’s safe! Go!” Wes shouted, Rui nodding reluctantly and moving away, glancing back every so often as she moved towards platform one and the reception area.

“Oh no you don’t! I’ll take you both down!” Dakim screamed at Wes and Feraligatr. “Blue one, Earthquake the two of them!”

Wes paused for a moment at this, having expected Dakim to charge at them first, and then did a double take. “What? No, don’t use Earthquake! You’ll break the platform if you did that!”

“Oh yeah,” Dakim said, considering this. “Blue one-”

“Marsh!” (Yay Earthquake!) the Marshtomp shouted, crouching down and focusing before stomping its feet, ignoring Dakim as the platform began to shudder.

“Err... goodbye,” Wes said quickly, recalling Feraligatr and sprinting off after Rui.

“Uh-oh, man, this isn’t good, man,” Dakim said quietly as he quickly recalled his Marshtomp but it was too late, as the platform suddenly shook violently and a large crack appeared. Pieces of machinery underneath groaned in protest, when suddenly platform number ten rose rapidly in the air, separating itself from the neighbouring platforms with a loud crack. Dakim crouched down and looked over the edge uncertainly at the rapidly shrinking landscape, Mt Battle looking smaller and smaller by the second.

“No, not good at all, man...” Dakim gulped, looking to see if there was anything he could punch to get him down safely, spotting instead a black helicopter zoom towards him. ‘Cipher’ was printed on the side, the pilot looking with astonishment at Dakim and the platform.

“Aha! Good timing!” Dakim shouted, waving cheerfully at the helicopter.

***

“Ah, there’s Mt Battle,” Sherles said to himself, pulling his police car into the facility’s parking lot next to the other police vehicles, and hopping out. He paused, observing his surroundings.

The front garden was a mess, full of policemen, Cipher agents and a few fainted Pokémon sprawled all over the grounds, groaning in pain. All were covered in eggshells and yolk, with some cookies, for some reason, scattered around as well on the grounds. A lone nurse and her Chansey stood on the steps of the entrance, with a bunch of people inside staring through a window with awe, their jaws hanging.

“Madam,” Sherles began slowly, walking to her, “what exactly happened here?”

“These ruffians,” the woman began, “were causing a huge mess and wouldn’t shut the hell up. So I shut them up myself,” she explained simply.

“With that Chansey? But... some of these are Cipher agents. Criminals,” Sherles said, pointing at one.

“You don’t say.”

“And the rest of them are – well, supposedly – the best of the police forces from other regions,” Sherles said quietly, still looking around.

“Well they did a damn poor job at keeping the peace! Now if you’d excuse me, I’m going to sleep.” With that, the woman went inside, leaving Sherles to himself. He looked up to the sky, and then frowned – it appeared a helicopter was flying away, with a rather large man in white hanging from the side. Further away, a circular platform was flying away into the distance.

UFOs? Sherles thought with confusion.

“Sherles!” a voice said suddenly. Sherles turned, to see Rui and Wes emerge from inside. Both looked out of breath and visibly shaken.

“Do you mind, maybe, shedding some light on what happened?” Sherles asked finally.

“Well... it’s a long story...” Wes began.

***

(continued) (!)

[bobandbill+]

“Well, that was a long story,” Sherles said as Wes finished reciting what happened, the three of them now inside. The nurse was grumbling to herself, as she set to work on healing all of the fainted Pokémon, both Wes’ and the ones from the battle between the police and Cipher. Makuhita had been among those fainted; the woman’s Chansey had clearly made a huge impact on all involved. The Mt Battle people were running in and out, carrying the Pokemon and people inside, Sherles frequently putting handcuffs on the egg-covered Cipher agents and gave disapproving glares at the policemen.

“Yeah, it was crazy... and to think, Cipher had a legendary Pokémon they made Shadow!” Rui exclaimed. “What else could they-” She was suddenly interrupted by a tap on the window, made by Sherles’ bird Pokémon, a Xatu.

“Right, the search for Entei... or what’s left of it... is over then, I presume. I’ll go talk to Xatu and be right back,” Sherles said. “And then we’ll have to clean this place up before anything else.”

“Yeah,” Wes said as he departed. “Well, that was...crazy. According to what Sherles saw, Dakim escaped somehow by that convenient helicopter...”

“Yes, although he worked for Cipher, he did have some decency to battle us,” Rui said.

“I still don’t get why, but maybe that was just his way of life,” Wes shrugged. “Those he thinks strong he respects and everyone else, he just punches. Not that bad a philosophy in theory...”

“The poor Entei,” Rui said softly. “There’s no way it could have survived that fall. We didn’t end up getting killed, and Cipher can’t use it anymore, but...”

“I suppose it is a shame it ended like that,” Wes agreed with a sigh. “After all, a legendary Pokémon. How did they get their hands on it, I wonder.”

“And it was so angry,” Rui continued. “It was made Shadow by them. It can’t have been happy like that...” her voice trailed off. A pause followed.

“You know... if it’s any comfort to you-” Wes began, when Sherles walked in and interrupted the two.

“I believe this is yours,” Sherles said gruffly, tossing a Poké Ball at Wes. “Xatu found that, and a busted-up Ultra ball as well below where platform ten used to be.”

“Ah, this was a Snag Ball I threw at Entei just before it fell off, only I missed... and the other was the original ball it belonged to. Good thing this Poké Ball survived the fall – they build them pretty well, I guess. And did Xatu...find...” Wes said, growing quiet.

Sherles paused for a moment, and then shook his head. “No, she didn’t,” he said.

“She didn’t?” Rui asked, confused. “But... but... Entei fell... I don’t think it could fly or something, surely...” Rui turned to Wes, only to see him staring at his Poké Ball, with a strange smile on his face. “What are you smiling about?” she demanded.

“Rui,” Wes said finally, “This Poké Ball... there’s a Pokémon inside of it. When Entei fell, it must have somehow come into contact with it, and...”

“No way,” Rui said.

“Yes way,” Wes countered, his grin growing.

“You mean...”

“We have a legendary Pokémon in our possession. Sure, it’s a Shadow Pokémon, but it’s ours.” Another pause followed, before Wes spoke again.

“That’s awesome.”

***









And that’s the end of the chapter-

“Wait,” Rui interjected, as her face became pale. “I think we forgot something.”

“Really? What?” Wes asked, gazing with pure happiness at his Poké Ball, as Sherles also realised what was wrong, running outside with his Xatu following. “Well, what is it?” Wes continued.

***

“Hello?” Vander shouted out to the empty surroundings. “Anyone?”

What the hell happened? I got punched, lost consciousness, and then when I woke up, everyone was shouting, so I tried to get away... then platform ten flew off somehow... and now I’m hanging on for dear life, Vander mused, as he dangled from the broken walkway between platform nine and where platform ten used to be, holding on with his two hands. He wasn’t slipping away – he had a decent hold, but it was hardly a fun position to be in and his arms were beginning to get somewhat sore. I have the strangest feeling I’ve been forgotten... this is not my day. I’m confused as heck, but all I know is that I’m very sore, and the sun will set in a few hours.

“Little help?” he shouted again. “Please?”

***









...Ok, that’s the end of the chapter.

For how this relates to the games!

    Spoiler:- Stuff in the chapter/game::

Show Spoiler

 

Music - Mt Battle has a pretty good tune actually, IMO - fun to listen to, but seeing it plays whenever you're not in a battle when you take the challenge throughout the entire mountain, one would think that people would start getting sick of the tune, like how stuff overplayed on the radio starts sounding bad. Hence Vander's reaction to the music that plays (and the explanation for where the music comes from).

The other tune that played afterwards (for a while anyways) is the Cipher Admin battle tune, btw - plays whenever an admin who isn't called Miror B battles you. Fun times.

Dakim + battle - the battle goes like that, basically, only Dakim does have a touch more strategy in-game, with earthquake + protect combos going. However I have seen him use Earthquake after sending his own Entei out, which is not really bright of him, especially considering the platforms you're standing on in the first place - thy never really look all that safe to one. And speaking of which:

Shadow Entei: out of nowhere, the game throws you, instead of a shadow Sudowoodo or Dunsparce, an Entei of all things. Much joy for the player who manages to snag Entei right then and there as they can then use it (but it takes a good while for Entei to use moves other than Shadow Rush). It's not that easy to catch though, and considering one's battling on a platform many feet above the mountains, it's not a safe place either (hence me bringing in that aspect into play). By far the toughest challenge the game throws up thus far.

Feraligatr + Rain Dance: - he does larn this move when purified. Perhaps the battle against Miror B helped a fair bit with this move... higher up Mt Battle you can also see the clouds that Feraligatr summons in the chapter.

Vander: in the game, once you beat Dakim he recovers and gives you the Time Flute in the reception area - the game isn't that cruel to him to have you forget about him. =P

Dakim's exit - his exit in the chapter is rather odd, but the game also does it weirdly. When you win, Skrub (from Agate Village) shows up, Dakim says some stuff (along the lines of 'hey I lost too, Skrub! never mind, yes is too good for us). Skrub then leaves by running off, and so does Dakim... BY JUMPING AWAY LIKE A FROG. WUT. You're standing on some questionable levitating platforms high above a mountain side, and he just jumps away off-screen. It makes little sense, but is amusing to see. Here I took away his ridiculous jumping skills. =P
 

Also:
    Spoiler:- response to reviews::

Show Spoiler

 

Originally Posted by heatran_ran

This is really great. Although, to be honest, it wasn't as humurous as some of your previous chapters, this is still the best fic i've read in eons. Oh, and BTW I just had an idea for the end of the next chapter. Can you have tom punch Dakim's lights out? Just an idea.

keep up the good work!

Cheers for the comments. Tom punching Dakim out... eh, that would probably be too much for Dakim's pride to take, I suppose. That and Tom decided he'd rather drink some beer instead. ;P

Originally Posted by asperger1981

Dakim+your style of writting= mayor comedy.

specially the the part about him 'knowing' brick break

and lets not forget...Wes opinions about the Orre region, specially his reaction about the lack of...sexual education, at least the part regarding pokemon that is.

example:



and lets not forget:



Couldn't agree more with that.

Glad you enjoyed Dakim, and he's also glad as well. ;P Thanks for the comments.

 

Hope you enjoyed that, and Merry Christmas to all of you!

[psyrose3]

Now that THEY'RE out of the way, I can start concentrating on reviewing WIN FICTION! Come on little win-dar, work your magic!

*Insert relevant chapter title here*

Volcanoes and Pastries

And if you cheat, I’ll just come over and punch you, man

Dakim's more likely to cheat...

No point focusing on his PAWWWWWUNCH or the fact I’m about to battle him on a platform with no fences and sharp stones of doom below us; I have to instead focus my thoughts on the battle and calm down.

*insert relevant battle music here*

(I wanna go home... I don’t want to go SPLAT!)

I am SO drawing that.

I believe part of it was involved being forced to work in a puppet show while yodelling or some stupid thing like that...”

Lolwut?

“I have Quagsire...”

“In that case, if all goes to hell just run for your life,” Wes said. Rui nodded slowly, and walked off to platform nine, making sure the wind didn’t push her off the narrow pathway between the two levitating stages.

NO! YOU IDIOT! YOU IDIOT, WES! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S COMING, YOU IDIOT! D:

“Since I’m so thoughtful, I’ll let you send out your two Pokémon first, man,” Dakim said, as he took a necklace off of his neck, which was made out of five Poké Balls. One of them was larger than the others – an Ultra Ball, which had one half black and yellow rather than red like the usual Poké Ball, and the other white.

    Spoiler:- Lol offensive lanuguage alert:

Show Spoiler

 
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK...
 

(About time! Why couldn’t we just have started this chapter by battling! All this waiting made me just think more about SPLAT and I don’t like going SPLAT anymore...)

FOURTH WALL BROKE! And..."I don't have to pee tinkle anymore..."

Rules: Sleep Clause, Freeze Clause, OHKO Clause, Evasion Clause, Species Clause, Strict Damage Clause, Awesome Clause, Pastry Clause, Paid Overtime Clause.

I wonder if that last one applys to Ein...or American Football...

“I’d admit, that was a very...unique version of Rock Throw,” Wes admitted.

“Yeah, normally they just pull the rocks out of hammer-space or something,”

._.

“According to this, whenever it barks, a volcano is said to erupt. Great! It’ll probably cause Mt Battle to erupt and the resulting eruption will kill us and... and all of our faces would melt and we’d be very dead and have never discovered the meaning of Christmas and we’d never get to eat Christmas cookies or mango pudding and that would be very, very bad.” He glanced some more at the P*DA further, and then sighed. “Oh wait, it’s just a rumour... and he already roared and nothing happened so I don’t think he’s interested in mass murder yet. Maybe. We just have to worry about the fact it ‘blasts fire that consumes all that it touches’.”

Ah...um...

Wes sighed, before he paused. “Wait, a Shadow Pokémon... well, Cipher are really scaring the hell out of me, but here goes!” he yelled, suddenly throwing a Snag Ball at Entei. Entei merely smirked however, and fired another ball of flames at it, which disintegrated the Snag Ball into ash, which somehow fell in such a way the particles spelt out the word ‘Fail’ on the ground. Entei then chased after Espeon, who hastily started running away.

O_____________________O Fail...?

“She didn’t?” Rui asked, confused. “But... but... Entei fell... I don’t think it could fly or something, surely...” Rui turned to Wes, only to see him staring at his Poké Ball, with a strange smile on his face. “What are you smiling about?” she demanded.

“Rui,” Wes said finally, “This Poké Ball... there’s a Pokémon inside of it. When Entei fell, it must have somehow come into contact with it, and...”

“No way,” Rui said.

YAY!

“Hello?” Vander shouted out to the empty surroundings. “Anyone?”

What the hell happened? I got punched, lost consciousness, and then when I woke up, everyone was shouting, so I tried to get away... then platform ten flew off somehow... and now I’m hanging on for dear life, Vander mused, as he dangled from the broken walkway between platform nine and where platform ten used to be, holding on with his two hands. He wasn’t slipping away – he had a decent hold, but it was hardly a fun position to be in and his arms were beginning to get somewhat sore. I have the strangest feeling I’ve been forgotten... this is not my day. I’m confused as heck, but all I know is that I’m very sore, and the sun will set in a few hours.

“Little help?” he shouted again. “Please?”

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. XD Sweet...GO SAVE VANDER YA FOOLS!

[a person]

Absolutely pastry, as always. Metang has convinced me to competitively battle again.

And I liked Golem's Monty Python reference.

[Super_Nerd]

Metang was amazing, and I couldn't believe (in a good way) when Golem started quoting the Black Knight. Sheer win!

This story's been epic the whole way through, though. I like how you take the nonsense aspects of the game and make them sort of credible, even if the overall story is amusing (which it is--quite hilarious!)

On a personal note, this was the story that convinced me to start writing for these forums (got a link to it from a LP on YouTube, of all things). If that's not a testament to how amazing it is, I don't know what is. :P

[Missingno. Master]

This chapter was epic win. This thing is definitely worth the long wait between chapters. And Golem's Monty Python references topped it all. This fic wins all the internets.

[mattman324]

Originally Posted by Super_Nerd

(got a link to it from a LP on YouTube, of all things

Slowflake, I presume?

Anyway, as this chapter is to big for 1 post, I cannot completely review it. So, here are the two things I learned from this:

1) Entei fights are epic.
2) FERALIGATR! ZOMGWTFBBQ! Sorry, I really like Feraligatr.