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#1
29th January 2010, 6:08 PM
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Card Tamer: Legend of the Lakes
Spoiler:- Legend of the Lakes Banner:
Hey  This is a fic i started writing over a year ago now (i think) which was originally called Card Tamer - The Prequel. It died after i developed a rather bad case of writer's block but now i'm back to have another go, and this time i'm making it better. It was called 'The Prequel' because it was made to go before my other fic (Card Tamer) but now i'm doing things in a logical chronological order, so i'll restart that one after i finish this one (that died too, but it did last longer than this one) Ok, to the reviewers:- Please don't jump to conclusions! Sometimes things seem quite odd or silly in a chapter but all will be explained as the story goes on. I had some reviwers last time who tried to eat me for my plot holes :/ But by all means feel free to review on anything else, or just comment if you wish. [Note] Some chapters will have .s in between certain words, fro.m for example. This is to get around the internal server error when i edit so please try to ignore them ^^ Rated: PG atm methinks Credits: Serebii.net (duh), Pokémon (duh), Eragon (mindspeak), My best friend (he's in the story :P) Spoiler:- PM List: Spoiler:- Chapter List: Spoiler:- Character List: Ok then, on with the story! The Legends Saga The First Trilogy Book 1 CARD TAMER: LEGEND OF THE LAKES Prologue The setting sun sent shades of deep orange, purple and crimson rippling across the still surface of the lake whilst the scent of new leaves drifted across from the trees situated behind the long grass bordering the water. A lone mountain in the distance, snow-topped, was all that dented the otherwise smooth horizon. A faint trickling sound could be heard, the source being a miniature waterfall which constantly supplied the lake with water from the mountain behind it. At the only other exit from the lake, a small river flowed, winding its way around rocks and fallen trees towards the sea not far away. The vegetation was dense; few people came here. At the centre of the lake a small island was located. It was dotted with a single tree and a rather large rock. Barely a rocky platform itself, the island was home to only very few wild Pokémon, only those who tired from swimming and wished to rest, or the occasional Wingull perching for the night. All was calm. Suddenly, a light burst forth from the island, sending its pale glow across the calm water. As quick as it appeared, it vanished, leaving only enough light for a glimpse of the Pokémon who had caused it; a delicate blue-bodied creature with creamy yellow surrounding its head. Its two tails fluttered in the soft breeze, causing the red gems embedded on them to sparkle against the lake. A second later, another flash brightened the lake, revealing a second being. Although similar to the first, its head was encased by azure blue rather than yellow. Its tails rippled gently in the air and it darted around in fluid motion too quickly to keep track of. It appeared to communicate with the first creature motioning with its small arms and delicate tails, and then the pair vanished into the shadowy trees. Several minutes passed, and the sun ever steadily dipped lower. There was no trace of the two creatures, no evidence that they had even been there. ~~~ A boy was running in amongst the trees, ceaselessly turning left and right evading branches. His height indicated that he was young, maybe thirteen or fourteen. As he ran, he ignored the squeals of terror that were being emitted by the shape clutched tight in his arms. The sun dipped lower in the sky, now barely high enough to cast its light over the ground. Panicking, the boy ran even faster, almost tripping over thorns that snaked over the ground. The thing in his arms continued to struggle, its fragile blue body writhing in its attempts to escape. It flicked its head from side to side, causing four pink ear-like extrusions to sway. Seeing that its efforts were futile, it shut its eyes and whimpered. ‘Don’t be like that, we’re nearly there,’ whispered the boy, briefly stroking the Pokémon’s head. The sky was now too dark to make it possible to see the thick clouds floating overhead, threatening the peaceful forest. ‘But I don’t want to go,’ squeaked the Pokémon, psychically projecting its thoughts into the boy’s mind. ‘Yes you do. When we played together at the lake I talked about it. You felt sad that my parents would never allow me to be a Pokémon Card Tamer, they thought it was pointless. They wanted me to do a boring job, like being a builder or something when I grow up. You said you would help me be a Card Tamer!’ A loud rumble suddenly ripped through the air making even the trees appear to shudder. ‘You don’t understand! I said I would help you, but not like this! I need to stay at the lake!’ The boy ignored the Pokémon, and its renewed attempts to free itself. ‘Nearly there,’ he muttered again. The minutes passed by, with little change in the situation other than the sudden disappearance of the sun, and the beginning of a few drops of icy rain. The boy still ran through the growing darkness intent on reaching his destination. Sheets of water were now pouring heavily from the sky. ‘See, I told you we were nearly there,’ said the boy, slowing down. In the darkness he felt his way to the door of the house. Feeling the damp wood, he extracted a key from his pocket and swiftly unlocked the door. He slipped in silently, before pushing the door back into place. The house was silent, aside from the occasional drip of water onto the carpet. The boy waited for a few seconds, to confirm that his opening the door hadn’t disturbed his sleeping parents. ‘All clear.’ The boy proceeded to tiptoe up the staircase, thankful that the carpet muffled his footsteps. For once, as if feeling the need for it, the Pokémon in his arms was quiet. When he reached the top of the stairs, the boy once again checked for sound. Hearing nothing, he pushed open an interior door, to his bedroom. A long wavering creak issued from the hinge and the boy froze and cringed. Please don’t wake up, he begged silently. Nothing happened. He breathed a sigh of relief and edged into the room. Once the second door had closed, the Pokémon began to whimper again, although not as loudly as before. It constantly wound and unwound its jewel encrusted tails, fidgeting, as the boy pulled a cardboard box from underneath his bed. ‘Since I haven’t got a Card for you, and I don’t trust you to stay put, I’ll have to keep you in here until you learn how to behave,’ he explained, lowering the Pokémon into the box. It took him a split second to release his hold and close the box, the speed necessary to prevent any more escape attempts. He swiftly tied a piece of string around the box, in case his new pet tried to push its way out. ‘I’ll feed you in the morning,’ he said, yawning, and pushed the box back under the bed. ‘Please take me back,’ responded the Pokémon, its psychic influence not confined by the cardboard. The boy ignored it, and hurriedly slipped into bed.
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late?  Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~  Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days. Last edited by Sinnohdragon; 1st May 2010 at 3:43 PM. 
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#2
30th January 2010, 12:48 PM
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Card Tamer?...Like Card Captor Sakura?
Interesting start, I think. I can't distinguish between the three elfs without a Pokedex :P
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BLASTOISE WOULD NEVER HURT MY MOM. HE WOULD NEVER MAKE HER CRY LIKE HER BOYFRIEND JOHNNY DOES. IF BLASTOISE WAS MY DAD THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE.
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#3
9th February 2010, 1:57 AM
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It's returned! And so have I. =) Prepare for
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So this boy has Mesprit? Hm. According to legend, Mesprit is supposed to drain the emotions out of anyone that touches it, yet the boy doesn't seem to be turned into an emotionless drone. Not to mention that it's a legendary. If it really doesn't want to go with him, shouldn't it be powerful enough to free itself without much trouble? It doesn't seem to be injured in any way. And as a Pokemon, it's not really the stick-around type: it flees when you encounter it in D/P/Pt, unlike Uxie and Azelf. :/ Chapter 1: Quote:
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Short version: I'm liking the backstory of card tamers, plus the description. Not to mention that Kai is awesome. XD The Mesprit situation could use more explanation, but that's the only plot "problem" I could find. I'm guessing more about it will be revealed in the future, though. Regardless, keep up the good work!
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Pokemon: Beedrill | Bishies: Roark & Morty | Fic: Blazing Frost | Apology (One-shot)
Chapter 22 (No Cause For a Crossfire) is up. Sometimes character-building chapters are pure philosophy. Luckily, this is not one of those times.
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#4
9th February 2010, 4:01 PM
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As for the other errors (especially the commas- i go quite comma crazy when i write :/) they have been edited in. Apart from chapter 1 because it won't let me save the edit >: (
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days.
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#5
9th February 2010, 4:23 PM
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Ok, this is chapter 1 which i posted 6.2.10 but i am forced to repost it because it won't save my edits and i can't find the announcement which says how to get around the problem. Luckily i haven't posted any new chapters since so its still in chronological order but the review order will look a bit weird.
IJuggler: That's not where the idea's fro.m but its a similar idea.  Next chapter (I'm going for 1 every week) And the chapter title has nothing to do with a certain anime character k? Chapter 1: Dawn The pale blue sky was lit up by a faint patch of yellow, as the first signs of sunrise made their impact on the retreating night. Several wispy clouds floated in the sky, too thin and light to shadow the ground, although trees at the edge of the town still cast their long silhouettes over the earth. Sandgem Town was silent, with the exception of the occasional rustle fro.m a bush indicating a wild Pokémon. It was a small town, despite its importance in the Pokémon region, Sinnoh. But this was a good thing, as it meant that wildlife around the area soared in numbers and variety, undisturbed by humans. A faint sound of the ocean, coming fro.m the south, revealed the presence of Sandgem beach, where soft waves constantly rolled up the sandy shores. This was another attraction of the town, which luckily, little attention was paid to. Since the Pokédiversity operation was completed a few years ago, many more types of Pokémon had made their homes in the local area, as well as across the rest of Sinnoh. The plan had been agreed upon by each of the region's leading Professors in order to establish more varied ecosystems as well as expand the habitat of certain species. It also allowed for new Card Tamers to experience a greater range of Pokémon. Species such as Skitty - small, pink, kitten-like Pokémon - now played in the easterly routes amongst the native Bidoof and Shinx, and Natu - spherical, green birds - nested in trees next to Starly. The actual town consisted of only a few hundred buildings, one of these the main reason of the town’s popularity. At the edge of the habitation, to allow easy access to places where wild Pokémon lived, a medium-sized laboratory stood. It was built in grey stones to give it a more natural appearance, and was covered in plants such as ivy. The garden was filled with a range of flora, fro.m tiny yellow buds to bright red roses, creating an explosion of colour. Behind the building, a cluster of sturdy trees, lined with new spring leaves, began the transfer of human society to nature. Inside the laboratory, on the ground floor, a woman sat at a table. She was in her mid-forties, and wore neat, practical clothing. White hair, passed on through many generations, framed her round face, and her blue eyes sparkled in interest as she turned over the pages of a book which lay on the table. She was Bethany Rowan, the current leading professor in Sinnoh, and specialised in Pokémon breeding. Also on the table, eight metallic cards were laid out. Each were approximately nine centimetres long, and six centimetres wide, and had a faint image etched onto them. On the other side of the table, a large pen housed a group of small Pokémon. They paid no attention to the working professor, all intent on either playing or sleeping. All were different, and they matched the pictures on the cards. ‘Nearly time,’ Bethany commented, glancing at a clock on the wall. She shut her book carefully, and got up, to check on the nursery. She was waiting for the arrival of two people who had arranged to collect their starter Pokémon this morning. Another change that had occurred along with the Pokédiversity operation was that students graduated fro.m the various Pokémon schools across in Sinnoh at different times, depending on how well they did, and how fast they learned. Graduating could occur anywhere between the ages of thirteen and fifteen. This change meant that there would be a steady stream of aspiring Card Tamers and Coordinators coming to Sandgem to pick up their first official Pokémon; first official Pokémon, because some already had Pokémon fro.m other means. Also, the starters you could choose fro.m had risen fro.m a choice of three, to fifteen. The Pokédiversity operation had also decreed that starters fro.m each of the regions, fro.m the type groups, water, fire and grass, would be available for choosing. But the change fro.m Pokéballs to cards was somewhat more mysterious. It had happened about five decades ago, and when it did, the switch-over occurred almost overnight. It was still unclear why the change had happened, only that the Pokémon Council (Gym Leaders and Elite Five members) had been influenced by ‘specialists’ that it was to happen immediately. Before the change all Pokémon, if captured, were to be kept as condensed data in mechanisms called Pokéballs. These balls came in many varieties to suit individual Pokémon and apparently contained a perfect home designed for the creature it held. There was no apparent problem with them, yet the Council still insisted that they should be rotated out for Cards. No one argued with the Council. Suddenly, the sound of the automatic doors sliding open brought Bethany out of her thoughts. ‘Hello?’ said a male voice cautiously. Bethany responded with a cheery, ‘Welcome to Sandgem lab. I was expecting you. Come over here please.’ Gaining confidence, a boy approached Bethany. He had shoulder length blonde hair, was dressed in a green sweater and dark trousers and carried a rucksack on his back. His clear blue eyes were wide as his gentle gaze followed the voice. ‘Are you Professor Rowan?’ he asked. ‘I’ve come for a Pokémon.’ ‘Yes I am, dear. Do you have your license?’ The boy nodded, and handed Bethany a slip of paper, which had been given to him when he had graduated fro.m school. ‘So you’re Jack, thirteen, fro.m Eterna City,’ Bethany announced, examining the license. Jack nodded. He took another few steps closer, so he could see the Pokémon in the nursery. He glanced at each, in indecision. ‘Having trouble choosing?’ Bethany asked. ‘I’m sorry if you had wanted Charmander, Chimchar, Totodile or Squirtle, but those four were taken in the last three weeks. I haven’t had time to breed replacements. And the other three as you might know, are yet to be introduced to Sinnoh.’ Jack shook his head. ‘No, I hadn’t chosen already chosen one. Which do you think I should have? I hope to become a Card Coordinator. And I already have one Pokémon.’ Jack pulled a single card fro.m his pocket and held it in front of him. ‘Come out, Flutterfree!’ Jack’s card glowed brightly, and slowly, a Pokémon materialised in the air beside him. It was quite large, but only due to its wingspan. Its body was covered in fine purple fur, and clutched to its belly was two small, blue hands. Two similarly coloured feet dangled underneath it. Its black antenna flicked fro.m side to side, as it scanned the room with its compound eyes. Dark veins zigzagged across the Butterfly’s white wings. ‘That’s a lovely Butterfree you have there,’ said Bethany. Jack smiled at the compliment. ‘I raised her fro.m a Caterpie I found at school. I think her Silver Wind will be really good in contests.’ ‘A Contest Pokémon then; may I suggest a fire type? They tend to do well. There was a famous Hoenn coordinator called May, who had a Blaziken who did very well in contests. They evolve fro.m one of these, a Torchic.’ Bethany bent down and picked up an orange chick fro.m the pen. A bright yellow crest grew fro.m its head, and a ruff of similar yellow feathers surrounded its neck. It cheeped madly and waggled its clawed feet. ‘I’ve never heard of her,’ Jack said, referring to May. ‘Well it was a rather long time ago. And mainly in Hoenn,’ Bethany added. ‘I quite like that one.’ Jack pointed to a small, mouse shaped Pokémon, crouched in the corner of the pen. Although mouse-like at first glance, it actually had no tail, and its snout made it look more like an echidna. Dark blue and red patches topped its cream coloured body. ‘That’s a Cyndaquil, right?’ ‘Yes it is,’ Bethany confirmed Jack’s speculation. She put the Torchic back into the nursery, which immediately began to run around hysterically in circles, and gently brought the fire mouse, Cyndaquil, up for Jack to look at. It sniffed at Jack curiously, and tried to paw at him. Jack considered the Pokémon. Cyndaquil usually had a timid nature which would suit him quite well. He didn’t think he was quite ready for something too energetic like a certain green reptilian Pokémon which was bouncing around the pen. He nodded and told Bethany that he would take the Cyndaquil. In response, Bethany marked Cyndaquil’s name on the license, and handed both it, and the Pokémon’s Card, to Jack. ‘Thank you Professor Rowan,’ said Jack quietly, and left the lab, his new Pokémon in his arms. ~~~ ‘Oh! I’m gonna be late!’ Kai muttered in annoyance, looking at the time on his blue Pokétch. The Pokémon wrist-watch flashed the time, 7:00. ‘And I don’t even know where the lab is!’ He tapped some buttons on the Pokétch in frustration, hoping that it already had the map application installed. It didn’t. ‘So I’m supposed to buy the app myself am I?' He growled at the device. Kai had received the Pokétch at his graduation, like every other new Card Tamer, and wasn’t impressed with it. He jogged along the wide roads of Sandgem town, constantly on the lookout for the Rowan laboratory. He was fourteen, and tall for his age, with wild brown hair which stuck up at odd angles. An old white t-shirt and dirty jeans had been selected by him for his attire for the joyous occasion. He had travelled fro.m his hometown, Twinleaf, to gain his first Pokémon fro.m Sandgem Town. He had passed through the area several times before due to it been en route to where he had went to school (Jubilife City was the nearest place with a Pokémon Academy) although admittedly it was a boarding school. But still, now he resented not paying more attention to the contents of the sleepy town he was currently lost in. ‘Finally!’ Kai exclaimed, slowing down as he approached a stone building, with a large, colourful garden preceding it. A wooden sign outside it read: Professor Bethany Rowan, Sinnoh head professor and Pokémon breeder. Kai hurriedly entered the laboratory, almost crashing into the doors before he realised that they were automatic. ‘I’m here for my Pokémon,’ said Kai loudly, to no one in particular. ‘Over here,’ replied a female voice, whom Kai presumed to be Professor Rowan. His theory was correct, as when he rounded a corner, he could see a large nursery, and a woman stood in front of it. ‘You’re a bit late,’ commented Bethany, frowning. She glanced at his worn clothes and sighed. What happened to the days when teenagers actually made an effort to dress nicely? At least Jack had been acceptable. ‘I got lost,’ Kai retorted, defending himself. He handed his license to Bethany, and then looked into the pen of Pokémon. ‘Do you already have a Pokémon, or will this be your first?’ ‘This will be my first,’ Kai answered, too busy examining the Pokémon to look at the professor. ‘Oh, Totodile’s gone!’ ‘I’m afraid so. She was taken a few days ago by a young girl.’ Kai sighed, ‘Aww, I like Totodile. Well not much I can do now.’ He looked at a blue Pokémon, who was leaning against one of the nursery sides, asleep. A large fin protruded fro.m its head, and small, orange spikes were on either side of its head. ‘I liek Mudkipz,’ muttered Kai, repeating the popular phrase. In the middle of the pen, two grass-type Pokémon happily nibbled food fro.m a bowl in front of them. One was blue, and had a green bulb on its back. The other was slightly smaller, its pale green body protected by a small, brown shell. Its head, large in proportion to its body, was capped by a small twig with a pair of leaves growing fro.m it. Suddenly, there was a flash of green and red, as well as squeals of dismay fro.m the two grass-types, Bulbasaur and Turtwig. Their food had vanished. The Turtwig gazed at the empty bowl for a second, and then started to run around the nursery in frustration. This wouldn’t have been too much for a problem, if it wasn’t for the little orange Torchic who was running in the opposite direction. The two Pokémon collided, sending the Torchic flying into the air, only to land on top of the sleeping Mudkip. The Mudkip opened its beady black eyes, and then aimed a small blast of water at the chick, in revenge for disturbing its nap. But the missile missed Torchic, who had resumed its frantic running around the nursery, instead hitting a blue and white penguin-like Pokémon, Piplup. ‘Piiii!’ squealed Piplup, falling backwards onto a grass-type Pokémon with a large leaf growing fro.m its head. ‘Chiiii!’ growled the Chikorita, jumping up in fright and collapsing on the Piplup. ‘Twiiii!’ squeaked Turtwig, translating the heap of Piplup and Chikorita into a new game, and immediately joined in, leaping on top of them. On his way, he knocked over Mudkip and Bulbasaur, who angrily pounced on top of the Turtwig. Seconds later, all six were in a writhing heap on the nursery floor, emitting a range of squeaks, squeals, growls, and yelps. ‘Quick, return them to their Cards before they get hurt!’ Bethany cried, grabbing four of the cards fro.m the table. Four flashes of light quickly followed as each Pokémon was recalled. Kai copied her, holding up the remaining three cards. But only two Pokémon were there to be recalled. ‘Phew, that could have turned nasty,’ said Bethany. ‘What about the last one?’ Kai asked holding up the last card, which was still empty. It had the image of a Pokémon on it, a small gecko-like Pokémon. It posed in a relaxed position, absent-mindedly chewing a twig, with a single small leaf. ‘That will be the culprit,’ Bethany replied, glancing at the ceiling. Kai followed her gaze, and sure enough, a Pokémon was hanging upside-down fro.m the low ceiling. It was green, with a bright red belly, and two curious yellow eyes, with black, reptilian slits. A pair of adjoined tails thudded against the paintwork. ‘Cool! A Treecko!’ ‘He’s a very naughty Treecko too,’ Bethany added. As it to confirm Bethany’s statement, the Treecko stuck its tongue out. ‘Treecko, will you be my first Pokémon?’ The gecko tilted its head, examining Kai closely, before leaping onto his head and bouncing all over him. ‘I think that’s a ‘yes’,’ chuckled Bethany, signing Kai’s license. ‘And I take it you know how to register a team? You can’t enter any official battles or tournaments without an official team.’ ‘Uhh…’ Bethany pointed to Kai’s Pokétch. ‘You can use the team register app that comes with a Pokétch, to keep track of a team of six battling Pokémon. If you are a collector, you can also use a Pokédex, as both are sensitive to Cards. A Card must be logged into an owner’s Pokétch or Pokédex for you to be able to call upon the Pokémon, and only six can be used at any one time. The team you register are the Pokémon you must use for official battles.’ ‘I knew that…,’ said Kai, sheepishly. ‘Anyway, thanks for Treecko. Bye!’ And with that, Kai left the laboratory to begin his Pokémon journey, with his Treecko perched on his head, eyeing the world in fascination. ~~~ ‘What will you do?’ the psychic Pokémon asked its friend. The speaker was pale blue in colour, with a bright blue head, tapering to three soft points. Its two tails swished slowly as it hung suspended outside the bedroom window. A second Pokémon floated inside the room, similar, but with a pink head with four ear-like extrusions. ‘I don’t know. I don’t want to destroy his feelings, his emotions; I can feel them. But he doesn’t understand. He thinks that he can keep me as his Pokémon, but he put me in a cardboard box! It was easy enough for me to get out, but the point is his heart will be shattered if I leave him.’ The pink Pokémon glanced at the bed behind it. A boy was sleeping there, unaware of the conversation. The early morning sun danced across his peaceful face. ‘It is not that he does not know. In his heart, he understands, but he cannot find the strength within him. There are things he must learn himself,’ said a third voice, coming fro.m beside the blue Pokémon. This one was again similar, but yellow bands covered its head. ‘Knowledge, must be gained.’ ‘And willpower, must be used,’ added the blue Pokémon. ‘And emotions, must be soothed,’ the pink Pokémon finished. ‘I will stay with him for now. But he must learn that this is not my rightful place.’
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days. Last edited by Sinnohdragon; 1st May 2010 at 11:03 PM.
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#6
10th February 2010, 3:33 AM
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No problem, I'm glad to help. ^_^
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Ah, you've met the beloved internal server error. What would we do without it? I saved the list of words that were reported to cause the error, since I was having problems editing some chapters of BF, so here they are for future reference: Quote:
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Pokemon: Beedrill | Bishies: Roark & Morty | Fic: Blazing Frost | Apology (One-shot)
Chapter 22 (No Cause For a Crossfire) is up. Sometimes character-building chapters are pure philosophy. Luckily, this is not one of those times.
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#7
13th February 2010, 12:48 PM
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Thanks for the tips DDT ^^ And here's the next chapter:
Chapter 2: Capture ‘This is sooo cool! I’m actually a proper Card Tamer now. What do you think, Treecko?’ There was no response as the gecko Pokémon was fast asleep, although still gripping onto Kai’s brown hair. Despite this, Kai continued to chatter to his first ever Pokémon, as he walked along a country path bordered by lush trees. ‘I mean, I had to stay a year longer than some people at school because I failed the first exam. But who’s actually interested in ‘Berryology’ and ‘Contest Study’? Battling is the real thing. But then again, I wonder if I could ever be good enough to beat all the Gym Leaders and challenge the Pokémon League. It’s not as easy as it looks, I know that much.’ Tired from his travelling, Kai decided to take a short break to replenish his physical energy. He leant his rucksack against a particularly large tree trunk and began to rummage around. It didn’t take long for him to extract a number of blank cards, and a chocolate bar. ‘I wonder what I should use these on?’ he mumbled, his words obscured by the chocolate he had pushed into his mouth. Treecko opened an eye lazily, awoken by the sudden pause from walking. He yawned silently and then leaped onto the tree, clutching the rough bark firmly. After taking a moment to balance himself, he scrambled upwards amongst the branches. ‘Hey, come back!’ ‘Treeee, ko!’ the Pokémon replied, waggling his twin tails and sticking out his tongue. Kai wasn’t too worried around his Pokémon trying to run away seeing as it hadn’t tried to do so before. He glanced up; the gecko Pokémon was still in sight. It was actually more of a good thing that Treecko was adapting to life on the road so quickly. ‘Suit yourself,’ he muttered, seating himself on the cool grass. He turned over the blank cards in his hand, which his dad had given him before he left. He thought that it would be better to have empty cards right away, just in case Kai saw a Pokémon that he might be able to catch. Then he asked himself that question which many people asked themselves, Why cards? He remembered his dad telling him that about fifty years ago people used Pokéballs to capture Pokémon. It was never made clear why that change had happened. Maybe I'll find out one day. He traced Treecko’s card with his finger, following the detailed lines of the image. A surge of excitement flooded through him. ‘I still can’t believe that I’ve actually done it, actually got my first Pokémon.’ He suddenly saw himself standing in a stadium, about to start a Pokémon battle. His Treecko perched on his shoulder, and the crowds roaring around them, cheering for him. ‘Could I actually be that good?’ But Kai’s daydreams were quickly halted by a loud squeal, and the sound of his Treecko crashing through the leaves, only to land as a soft ‘thump’ on the ground. Kai got up quickly and whirled around, looking for any sign of danger. Treecko pulled himself, and took a battle stance on the ground, whilst peering into the tree angrily. Moments later, another crash preceded the arrival of a second Pokémon. ‘Liii!’ screeched the attacker, flapping its short, grey wings madly. A ruff of black feathers surrounded its small head, and a similarly coloured plume rose from above its bright orange beak. If the Pokémon hadn’t been viciously flailing its minute talons, it would have looked positively cute. ‘Umm, what is that thing?’ Kai asked no one in particular. ‘Tree!’ cried Treecko, suddenly bouncing to one side, narrowly avoiding a diving attack from the bird. Kai’s brain finally clicked into action, and he brought his Pokétch to eye-level, pressing a button. ‘Not as good as a Pokédex, but they’re too expensive,’ said Kai, as a picture of the bird Pokémon flashed onto the device’s small screen. Pokétch apparatus, Pokémon identifier loading. Please wait, came a mechanical voice. ‘How long do I have to wait?!’ Kai yelled, glancing at his Treecko who was busy dodging a series of Peck attacks. Starly, the starling Pokémon. Type - normal and flying. They flock in great numbers. Though small, they flap their wings with great power. ‘Flock in great numbers? So where’s the rest of them? Oh, well, one Starly’s bad enough, it’s a flying type. Treecko’s not good with flyers. Okay, Treecko use Pound!’ ‘Ko!’ cried Treecko, jumping into the air, just close enough to the Starly to give it a strong thump with his paw. The wild Starly dropped towards the ground, but quickly regained the use of its wings and soured into a group of trees, twittering shrilly. ‘Well that was easy,’ said Kai. Moments later, a dark cloud of shapes started to approach Kai at great speed. At first Kai was confused, but then he recognised what each shape was. It was a huge flock of Starly. ‘RUN!’ Kai yelled, picking up his bag and scampering along the stony path, Treecko close behind. Seconds later, Treecko overtook his trainer, leaving Kai panting in his efforts to catch up. ‘Wait up!’ he shouted. Kai had expected Treecko to ignore him and continue running, but surprisingly, he stopped in his tracks. He turned around and looked at Kai, a small grin on his face. ‘What?’ said Kai accusingly. Treecko looked up. Kai copied him, and his face reddened in embarrassment. He was not being chased at all; the whole group of Starly were flying away in the opposite direction, slowly becoming faint dots in the sky. ‘What?! I wasted all that energy for nothing?’ Treecko rolled on the ground in a fit of gecko giggles. ‘Ohh,’ whined Kai in disappointment, ‘I could have caught one…’ Recovering, Treecko leapt back onto Kai’s head, eager to continue their journey north to Jubilife City. ‘At least that first Starly was a nice bit of training for you. At this rate, we can take down the Sinnoh Gym Leaders in no time.’ Treecko replied with a muffled ‘ko’, due to the fact that at that moment, his head was poked into Kai’s rucksack searching for the source of the chocolate bar that Kai had eaten earlier. His search successful, he quickly withdrew with a sparkly lump clamped in his jaws. He peeled away the wrapping as he had seen Kai do, letting it fall to the ground, and stuffed his reward into his mouth. The glint of falling silver caught Kai’s attention, and he recognised the wrapping immediately. ‘Hey! Treecko! That’s my chocolate!’ Kai raised his arms and managed to catch his Pokémon firmly, and lower the Treecko so he was in front of him. ‘Ko, tree?’ said Treecko innocently, completely unaware of the chocolate stains around his green mouth. ‘I’ll have to teach you some manners sooner rather than later.’ Treecko grinned sheepishly. But then, distracted by something, he turned his head around and struggled free from Kai’s grip. ‘Now what?’ Kai moaned, chasing the gecko into the bushes where he had disappeared. But he quickly noticed the reason for his Pokémon’s excitement; a small, back and blue creature was curled up, half hidden under a bush. ‘Tree!’ yelped Treecko happily, stalking the sleeping Pokémon. ‘Better check what it is,’ said Kai, raising his Pokétch once again. Pokétch apparatus, Pokémon identifier loading. Please wait. Loading complete. Shinx, the flash Pokémon. Type - electric. All of its fur dazzles if danger is sensed. It flees while the foe is momentarily blinded. ‘Cool! Let’s try and catch it Treecko. Creep up on it quietly and give it a Pound attack.’ Treecko nodded, already close to the Shinx, then bashed it with his paw as he had done to the Starly. ‘Shiiii!’ squealed the Shinx, leaping into the air in shock and pain. Its large, round head, bordered by huge blue and yellow ears, flicked in every direction, taking in its predicament. A ripple of sparks flowed along its body, dancing across its fur all the way to the star-shaped tip of its tail. ‘Treecko, don’t back away from the flashes it makes, try another Pound!’ But instead of slapping his foe again, Treecko began to glow as a faint green aura enveloped him. A tendril of the power attached itself to the Shinx, which then also was encased in green light. ‘Huh? What’s that attack?’ Kai checked his Pokétch. Pokétch apparatus, Pokémon identifier loading. Please wait. ‘Hurry up…’ Treecko, the wood gecko Pokémon. Type - grass. The soles of its feet are covered in countless tiny spikes, enabling it to walk on walls and ceilings. ‘Yeah but what about its move?’ said Kai impatiently. Loading attack identifier. Please wait. Kai moaned loudly, glancing between his Pokétch, and the two glowing Pokémon. Move identified. Absorb. Type - grass. Category - special. An attack that absorbs half the damage inflicted. At that moment, the light faded and the Shinx dropped to the floor in exhaustion. Meanwhile, Treecko bounced around the bush with his stolen energy. ‘Wow Treecko, you’ve learnt a cool move!’ Treecko nodded, and then pointed to the Shinx, who was trying to creep away unnoticed. ‘Oh yeah! Capture Pokémon, go!’ Kai shouted, suddenly remembering his initial aim and holding up a blank Capture Card. The Shinx was surrounded in white light, and drawn into the card, which was also glowing. For a few seconds, light still emanated from it, but the card quickly dulled to its normal metallic shade, revealing the image of a Shinx. ‘Yes! I caught my first Pokémon!’ yelled Kai, jumping and punching the air in glory. ‘Tree!’ added Treecko, sharing Kai’s happiness, before jumping onto his head again. ‘That’s one step closer to being the best Card Tamer I can be!’ ~~~ Laura Corrett was standing opposite her kitchen worktop, poring hot water from a kettle into a mug, a teabag already within it. She swept her incredibly long black hair, tied back in a ponytail, out of her way as she picked up two steaming mugs and walked to the large wooden table in the room. Morning sunlight flooded through the conservatory doors lighting the room, and enhancing the pleasant view of colourful flowers and bushes outside. Laura placed the two mugs on the table, one in front of a man who sat there, and one at an empty seat, which she then took. The man, who was dressed in a dressing gown and wore a pair of thin glasses, mumbled his thanks. He sipped the drink whilst still reading the newspaper clutched in his hands. Laura flipped the pages of a magazine, but was too preoccupied with other thoughts to actually take any of the words in. She tried to relax and let the morning sun soothe her, but it was no use. Hesitantly, she spoke to her husband. ‘Carl, have you noticed…anything odd, about Dahn this morning?’ ‘No. Why?’ he replied, not taking his eyes away from the article he was reading. ‘Well, he seems to be strangely happy about something…’ ‘Why shouldn’t he be happy? He loves going outside for hours to play with the wild Pokémon.’ ‘But that’s my point - the Pokémon. You know, when we told him that he couldn’t be a Card Tamer, he was so upset. He was upset for days, and now…it’s like nothing happened.’ ‘So why are you worrying? He’s happy now. And anyway, the no Pokémon thing’s not permanent; we can’t stop him from being a Card Tamer forever. He’s completed Pokémon School, so he’s ready for when the time comes. It was only so he could have a normal life first, earn some money.’ ‘So why didn’t we tell him that?’ Carl remained silent, and sipped his tea. ‘That’s not the true reason, is it?’ questioned Laura. Carl sighed. ‘It’s just that I barely see Karen anymore. She’s always off hunting for Pokémon to add to her Pokédex. I guess I just wanted to keep her brother around for longer.’ ‘It’s not like you’re around much. You spend half the year travelling around Weather Bases in Hoenn and Sinnoh.’ ‘You know I can’t help that, it’s my job,’ Carl insisted. Laura smiled faintly, ‘Sorry. I agree, I still think Dahn should wait until he grows up a bit more before he gets a Pokémon.’ ‘Well I’m glad that issue’s sorted. Now cheer up, it’s the weekend, and the weather’s lovely.’
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days. Last edited by Sinnohdragon; 18th February 2010 at 5:06 PM.
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#8
14th February 2010, 2:44 PM
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Note: This review was written on February 9th, for the Dozen Red Roses movement. If chapters have been published since I wrote this and Valentine’s Day, the review will not be edited. If I find the story interesting, I will keep reviewing past chapter 1.
“The setting sun sent shades of deep orange, purple and crimson rippling across the still surface of the lake whilst the scent of new leaves drifted across from the trees situated behind the long grass bordering the water.” Okay… huh? Your first sentence and you’re already leaving my brain whirling to try and make sense of what you were trying to say. Pace yourself! I know you want to explain the serene lakeside scene, but don’t get it done in one sentence… and worse, don’t get it done in the first sentence of the entire story. And don’t go overboard with it; if the place will be important later, describe it when it’s important and not when it isn’t. You’ll need to establish what exactly a Card Tamer is. Like IJuggler asked, is it some sort of Pokémonified Cardcaptor Sakura concept? Or is it from those obscure Game Boy TCG games? I know you said that it would be explained later, but if readers get confused then they’re likely to stop reading. However, I did get a kick out of this kid shoving a Mesprit (?) in a box. >D The story interests me, and I will continue. Chapter one: So. From the looks of what’s going on in Professor Beth’s lab, I think this is some sort of Pokémonified Cardcaptor Sakura variant – Pokémon captured in handy little cards to be released when needed? It’s certainly an interesting premise, and works a lot like I would think Professor Kaminko’s Pokérods would, but you do need to clarify. There’s still a problem with description in the beginning, but the Starters and rehabilitated Pokémon were done well. Oh, that brings me to the Pokébiodiversity. First off, shouldn’t it be Pokédiversity, because Poké = bio and is pretty much the prefix in the Pokémon world? Anyway, you also need to explain this more. Irritates reviewers (including me, I might add) and whatnot. Torchic’s frantic circling (and the wording of such circling) made me giggle, and so did the general antics of the starter Pokémon. It was quite nice and really added a realistic touch to the whole thing. I like the way you write, even though it does get a little elaborate. I also quite enjoyed the story, and will keep reading! :3 Good job – from what I saw so far, you seem to be quite capable of writing a respectable journey fic. (And besides, anything with a Mesprit in a box is automatically better in my book).
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#9
14th February 2010, 3:12 PM
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Thanks for reading and reviewing  . I saw the Valentine's Reviewing challenge and would have joined if it wasn't for the fact that i only saw it about half an hour ago so it was too late :/ But i really wasn't expecting someone to choose my fic to review.
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days.
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#10
14th February 2010, 3:53 PM
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#11
18th February 2010, 2:57 AM
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DDT says: i'm in ur story, killin teh bugz in it.
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Treecko is epic. And d'aww, a Shinx! ^_^ Hm, wonder how this Dahn person plays into it. Going out on a limb here and guessing that Spoiler:- 'cause I can't help myself :p: Though we'll just have to wait and see, won't we ... *watches out intently for next chapter*
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Pokemon: Beedrill | Bishies: Roark & Morty | Fic: Blazing Frost | Apology (One-shot)
Chapter 22 (No Cause For a Crossfire) is up. Sometimes character-building chapters are pure philosophy. Luckily, this is not one of those times.
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#12
18th February 2010, 5:01 PM
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days.
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#13
20th February 2010, 12:40 PM
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Time for chapter 3
Chapter 3: Species ‘Tackle!’ Jack commanded the blue and cream echidna at his feet. ‘Quill!’ the Cyndaquil echoed, rearing on its hind paws before running full speed at the small bird Pokémon in front of him. The Natu tried to jump out of the way, but its poorly developed, round wings only gave it a lift of a few centimetres. Impact was inevitable. ‘Perfect!’ cried Jack, admiring his Pokémon’s stamina. According to his Pokétch, Cyndaquil tended to be docile creatures, but after he had adjusted to his new trainer, Jack’s Cyndaquil had proven to be full of energy with an aptitude for battling. Jack brushed his blond hair out of his face, and decided on his next move. ‘Cynda!’ Cyndaquil growled menacingly at his opponent, pawing at the dusty track. The dappled light that seeped through the trees created mottled patterns on his dark back, dulling his bright red spots. Meanwhile, the spherical green bird hopped about nervously. One of its red head feathers was at an odd angle, and it was holding its wings out slightly, as if to cool down. A pang of sympathy rushed through Jack. The Natu was already hurt enough; he didn’t need to battle it any more. But Cyndaquil had other ideas, and rushed at the flying-type for a second time, sending clouds of dust into the warm air. The Natu widened its huge eyes in distress, and squeaking sharply, it tried to fly again. ‘Cyndaquil, stop! I didn’t tell you to attack!’ When it was obvious that his Pokémon wasn’t going to obey him, Jack dashed forward, just in time for his Cyndaquil to charge into him, rather than the Natu. ‘Ci, qua!’ whined the Cyndaquil indignantly, picking himself up from the ground and brushing dirt from his pale belly. He poked his snout into the air stubbornly and folded his arms across his chest. ‘Cynda cynda. Quil, cynda ci!’ Jack watched his Pokémon nervously, and for good reason. Only ten minutes ago the Cyndaquil had ferociously attacked a pair of Bidoof, sending them scurrying into the undergrowth whilst Cyndaquil had puffed himself up proudly. ‘Did you really need to do that?’ ‘Quil!’ he replied, nodding quickly and clenching his little paws into fists. When Jack didn’t move, he made to creep around him and attack the Natu. ‘Oh no you don’t!' Jack responded. ‘If that’s how you’re gonna play, you can go back into your Card!’ At that moment, the Cyndaquil barged at Jack’s feet, and succeeded in popping out in between his legs. A second later, the air was filled with the shrill sound of squeaks and growls. Jack instinctively grabbed his Pokémon’s Card and held it into the air. Cyndaquil vanished in a short burst of light, leaving the injured Natu sprawled on the earth breathing heavily. Bending down slowly, Jack knelt beside the Pokémon and extracted a small purple bottle from his rucksack, before spraying it on the Natu gently. The flying-type made several squawks of protest, before submitting to the Potion. ‘Now, that wasn’t too bad was it?’ The Natu tilted its bright yellow beak nervously before holding out its left wing tentatively. It took a few moments of thought for Jack to realise that the Natu’s wing was severely injured. Possibly even broken? Jack shuddered at the thought. He was a kind person by nature, and he hated the possibility that his Cyndaquil had done the Natu real harm. ‘Don’t worry little Birdy. That Potion will take some time to work, but it will heal your minor injuries. As for that wing…I’ll have to take you to a Pokémon Centre.’ Jack picked up the Pokémon, carefully avoiding extra damage he might cause to its left wing. At that moment, a large shadow passed over the track. Curious, Jack looked up into the sky just in time to see a huge flock of Starly pass over. ‘I wonder what caused them to all take flight like that?’ Jack wondered out loud. ‘Anyway, let’s get you some help.’ ‘Tu,’ uttered the Natu faintly. ~~~ The clear sky had gradually darkened over the time that Jack had spent walking north to the nearest city, Jubilife. A soft, cool breeze had begun to pick up, sifting its way through the newly budding branches of the trees on either side of the track. Jack shivered, and held the Natu closer to his chest. The bird had fallen asleep some time ago, and the smooth rise and fall of its body was only just visible in the faint light. ‘There’s no way we will get there before night really sets in,’ said Jack, although the sleeping Birdy would not have heard him. ‘I suppose we should set up camp.’ Jack took up a spot several metres from the track before letting his rucksack drop to the grassy ground. He extracted a roll-up sleeping bag from the rucksack, and laying it over the damp ground, he knelt down and placed the Natu in the centre of it. He pushed the sides of the makeshift bed, creating a ripple of sheets to form around the Pokémon, keeping it warm. ‘Now for the tent,’ Jack muttered, pulling out a large bundle of poles and sheets. Having performed this ritual every night since he had left his home at Eterna City, it didn’t take long before the small tent had been erected. By now, the last of the sunlight had vanished leaving only a complex of stars, and a bright gibbous moon to glimmer in the darkness. There was a rustle in the undergrowth, and Jack looked up from his current activity of pushing the Natu and the sleeping bag inside the tent. However, no shape revealed itself, and after a brief pause, Jack sealed himself inside the tent. Inside, it was pitch-black. Jack fumbled inside his rucksack once again for his torch, and finally finding it, he switched it on. ‘If only I had a mini-heater too,’ commented Jack, rubbing his hands together. Although it was spring, the cold grip of winter still crept in every night. ‘Luckily I’m not too hungry, I barely have enough food to last until Jubilife.’ ‘Na,’ replied the Natu, finally stirring. Jack smiled at the flying-type. ‘How are you feeling?’ ‘Tu,’ it replied sleepily, and closed its eyes in a relaxed manner. Jack decided it was about time to consult his Pokétch. After all, if he was going to look after this Natu he would have to know something about it. Natu, the little bird Pokémon. Type - psychic and flying. It picks food from cactus plants, deftly avoiding buds and spines. It seems to skip about to move. ‘Well that’s not useful. They obviously haven’t updated Natu’s profile since its introduction in the Sinnoh region, there are no cactuses here,’ Jack muttered. ‘So Birdy, what do you eat?’ The Natu didn’t reply immediately, and for a while Jack didn’t think it would respond. But suddenly, a glowing blue energy started to emanate from its small body. A few seconds later, the light had vanished, and a small pile of berries had materialised in the tent. ‘Wow! You’re hurt but you still have enough energy to use psychic powers?’ Birdy chirped in response, and started nibbling the fruits. Then, content, the Pokémon went back to sleep. Jack lay down next to the Natu, and a gush of thoughts flooded his mind. It was his first day as a Card Tamer! But then he thought of Cyndaquil - energetic, but slightly too so. But was he really that bad a Pokémon? Jack didn’t think so. He’s just young…And the Natu, Birdy - so trusting. Maybe he would join him in his adventure? That would be his third… He imagined himself standing in a contest arena, hoards of people cheering at him. Flutterfree floating in the air, silver glitter sparkling in the space around her. Birdy, suspended by his blue magic awing the audience. And Cyndaquil, sending spurts of gold flames from his back captivating the crowd… ~~~ ‘Skiiiit!’ The shrill sound of the Pokémon’s cry caused Jack to wake up with a start. ‘Natu?’ chirruped Birdy, hopping along the ground happily, although still holding his left wing awkwardly. Jack unzipped the tent cautiously, and a gush of sunlight exploded into his view. The frost from the night had long since vanished, and the grass and leaves shimmered in the morning light. ‘What happened?’ said Jack nervously. But the scene before him gave him no need for an answer. Four Bidoof had surrounded the base of one of the trees and were barking angrily at a small pink Pokémon, with huge triangular ears, which clung to the bark, emanating strong feelings of both fear and excitement. An apple was clamped tight in its tiny mouth. It was obvious what had happened. The Bidoof were undeterred by the presence of Jack, and continued to paw at the bark with their stumpy legs, and chattering their buckteeth furiously. The short brown fur stuck up on end, and they waggled their rears in an amusing manner as they circled the tree. ‘I guess that pink kitten stole the Bidoofs’ apple,’ Jack guessed. He raised his Pokétch to analyse the predicament. The same mechanical voice spoke from the device. Bidoof, the plump mouse Pokémon. Type - normal. With nerves of steel, nothing can perturb it. It is more agile and active than it appears. Skitty, the kitten Pokémon. Type - normal. It can’t stop itself from chasing moving things, and it runs in a circle, chasing its own tail. ‘Better not get on the wrong side of those Bidoof eh Birdy? But we need to drive them away somehow so that the Skitty can come down.’ The Natu nodded in agreement. ‘But this will take more than one Pokémon,’ Jack pulled a card from his pocket, but then hesitated. Could he risk setting Cyndaquil on these wild Pokémon? He cringed at the thought that he owned a Pokémon that he didn’t think that he could rely on. But the safety of these Pokémon was important to Jack. He couldn’t risk it. His hand moved to his other card. ‘Flutterfree, go!’ ‘Feee!’ The Butterfree materialised in the air, ready for action. A sudden idea occurred to Jack. ‘Flutterfree, Sleep Powder!’ The Butterfree responded by flapping her delicate wings rapidly, causing a faint cloud of silver particles to drift over to the Bidoof. The Bidoof seemed unaffected by the spores for the first few moments, and then dropped to their bellies one at a time, falling asleep. But what Jack hadn’t been counting on was the spores reaching the Skitty, which now hung precariously, widening its mouth in a huge yawn, dropping the apple. But before the Skitty could fall, Flutterfree glided underneath just in time for the kitten to land on her purple back. ‘Great work, Flutterfree!’ Jack congratulated the butterfly Pokémon. Now what should he do with the Skitty? ‘Well, we can’t leave it here, when the Bidoof wake up, they’ll be angry.’ ‘Feehee?’ Flutterfree suggested, pointing one of her powder-blue feet in the direction of the woods. ‘You think we should hide it somewhere, don’t you? Oh! I hate I have to call it an it, but I don’t know what gender it is. Unless a species has some characteristic markings, the only way to identify if it were male or female would be to catch it, then check the data on the back of the card.’ Flutterfree tilted her head, slightly confused at Jack’s mutterings, and then flew silently into the forest, obviously to take the Skitty someplace safer. By the time the Butterfree had returned, Jack had packed up the tent, eaten some breakfast, and was once again clutching the Natu. The three then headed back to their journey to Jubilife City. ~~~ A boy was sat on a mossy rock, in a secluded patch of forest. He had short, black hair, and gleaming green eyes which were moving from side to side as he scanned the pages of the book he held. His free hand was absent-mindedly tugging at the long blades of grass that had grown wild in the area, and wet with dew, they sparkled in the morning light. A Pokémon hung suspended in the air above him, occasional twitching its four, pink ears. Its pale blue was almost invisible against the blue sky, but the red gems embedded in its two tails were strikingly visible. Dahn spent as much time as he could outside. He hated the boringness of houses, with all of the mechanical things and papers. He loved nature, and Pokémon. And now he had one. He smiled happily. His parents wondered why he spent so much time outside, they thought it wasn’t normal. They knew he went to play with the wild Pokémon, but his own Pokémon…they had no idea. But wild Pokémon could only interest Dahn so far, he had to have his own. So his best friend, the Pokémon from the lake. He had taken it. He didn’t understand why the Pokémon would want to leave him. They had spent so much time together, talking, by the lake. He trusted the Pokémon with his every thought. So why was it so upset? He could see it, despite the fact that it loyally stuck by him. After he had seen that it had escaped from the box, but not left him, he was sure that this Pokémon was right for him. But should he tell someone? No, he couldn’t. His parents would take it away from him, take the only thing that really made him happy. They didn’t understand. ‘But what kind of Pokémon are you?’ asked Dahn, as he had asked so many times. It was one of the few questions that the Pokémon had refused to answer. ‘The knowledge is too much for you,’ it said, ‘the hurt of more than one, and the power to break… Dahn turned the page of his Pokémon encyclopaedia. ‘Wigglytuff, no, they don’t float. Clefable - they’re sort of magical, but no, they can’t use telepathy. How about Kirlia? No tails…’ ‘You will understand everything when the time is right,’ whispered the Pokémon. ‘But when will that be?’ asked Dahn. His question wasn’t answered.
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days. Last edited by Sinnohdragon; 8th March 2010 at 8:14 PM.
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#14
27th February 2010, 2:22 PM
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And we have a new chapter
Chapter 4: Rival The morning sun shimmered gently in the clear sky, casting faint shadows on the tree-lined path. Kai stood amongst a patch of tall grass, his blue eyes focused on the chubby brown Pokémon he was training against. ‘Treecko, use Absorb again!’ ‘Koo!’ shrieked Kai’s gecko, standing his ground as pulsing green energy enveloped his body, before connecting with the Bidoof in front of him. The Bidoof ground its sharp buckteeth, and dug its own little brown paws into the dewy grass. It flicked its round head, and then its plump body gave a shudder and it collapsed on the ground, defeated. Treecko released the energy, panting slightly, but evidently full of excitement from winning the battle. He waggled his bright green tails, and looked up at Kai. ‘Great work, Treecko! That’s the fifth Pokémon you’ve beaten this morning. You really are a great fighter.’ Treecko pranced about happily, before leaping to his favourite spot on Kai’s head. ‘So, that’s two Starly, one Skitty, and two Bidoof. Plus the Shinx we caught yesterday. Speaking of Shinx, I better let him out and see how good he is. How about when we find our next wild Pokémon?’ Treecko accepted happily by uttering a short ‘Treek’. Once Kai was on the move again, the gecko was already creeping downwards to Kai’s seemingly irresistible rucksack. Sensing what was happening, Kai spoke up. ‘Not this time my thieving little friend. I think you’ll find that the zip is gecko-proof now.’ Treecko howled in false anguish, and gave upon the bag. ‘Hey! You!’ cried a voice. Kai looked around, his eyes scanning for any flash of movement. He quickly saw who had spoken to him. It was a boy about the same height as Kai, with fairly long, brown hair. He wore casual attire, a green and white t-shirt with dark trousers. He leaned cassualy against a tree not far from where he was training. From Kai’s first glance, he knew who this person was - another Card Tamer. ‘You’ve got Pokémon,’ stated the boy, looking at Treecko. The statement was both an observation and a question. ‘Yes,’ Kai replied, slightly impatiently. ‘Do you want a battle?’ Kai grinned. ‘You bet.’ His pulse sped up in excitement; finally he could test his skills on another Card Tamer. Now was his chance to see if he was good enough, to see if he could win his first ever real battle. ‘Tree treek!’ Treecko snarled, whipping his tails in anticipation. Kai could see that his starter was eager to prove himself too. ‘Okay then. How about two-on-two? I’m Isaac by the way,’ he said in a friendly way. ‘Two-on-two’s fine. And nice to meet you Isaac, my name’s Kai.’ Kai took a few steps back, and Isaac did the same, creating a suitable sized patch of grass between them on which to battle. ‘This might be my first ever match, but I’m not gonna lose!’ ‘Your first?’ said Isaac, surprised. ‘I’ve been training for a while now and I’m pretty experienced. You better be careful.’ ‘Oh I will,’ said Kai confidently. He was sure that his training with Treecko would pay off now. But then he remembered his promise to let Shinx battle. He should be able to handle whatever Isaac uses first, he thought. ‘And we can chat later, now‘s the time to fight. Shinx, go!’ A flash of light illuminated the pale sky as Kai’s black and blue Pokémon emerged from his Card. The Shinx swivelled its rounded ears, and looked around nervously. ‘An electric type. So you shouldn’t have too much trouble against my Piplup.’ Isaac held out a metallic card, which shimmered momentarily as a miniature penguin materialised on the grass. ‘Pip, lup!’ chirped the Piplup, puffing out its blue chest importantly and waving its short flippers. Its usually cute face looked quite intimidating as it leered at Kai’s Shinx. ‘You got that right. Now, Shinx use!……Umm. What attacks can a Shinx do?’ He cringed in annoyance. Great time to show how much about my Pokémon I don’t know. Instead of taking advantage of Kai’s lack of knowledge, Isaac didn’t command his Pokémon to attack, as Kai had been expecting. ‘You’re new at this, I’ll give you a chance. Check you’re Pokétch.’ Kai smiled gratefully, and held up the device on his wrist. Loading attack identifier. Please wait. Attack identifier loaded. Pokémon - Shinx. Current moves - Tackle. Leer. Charge. ‘What! No damage inflicting electrical moves with a same type attack bonus!’ Isaac looked rather impressed by Kai’s outburst. ‘Oh just use Tackle,’ Kai sighed. ‘So now we can start? Piplup, Growl!’ Piplup waited until Kai’s charging Shinx was just about to collide into it, then opened its beak and emitted a ferocious chorus of squeaks whilst hopping about on its little blue feet. Shinx looked utterly terrified by this, and dug its front paws into the ground slowing its impact with Piplup. Piplup stumbled back slightly, but appeared unhurt. ‘Well done Piplup, now Shinx is going to be less eager to attack you. Now try a Bubble attack!’ ‘Shinx, dodge those bubbles!’ Kai yelled. A thick cloud of bubbles was blasted into the air as Piplup opened its short beak a second time. Each was different in size, and flickered with a thousand colours in the morning sunlight. Shinx stared at the bubbles in awe, refusing to move. He lifted a paw to try and poke one, but never managed to complete the action due to being pummelled by the innocent-looking missiles. ‘Peck!’ Isaac commanded. Before Shinx had a chance to recover, Piplup flew at him jabbing hard with its tiny beak. Shinx squealed and ran from the battlefield, promptly disappearing back into his Card. ‘I guess that’s one down, one to go,’ said Isaac, although not in an unfriendly way. ‘Looks like it…You’re next Treecko!’ Treecko leapt onto the ground, eager to battle. ‘Peck again!’ shouted Isaac. Kai had no need to tell Treecko to get out of the way; the gecko had already bounced onto the nearest tree trunk, neatly evading the hostile penguin. The Piplup stopped, screeching indignantly before aiming again. Treecko dodged again. ‘Use your secret weapon!’ Kai commanded. ‘Ko, tree!’ cried Treecko, once again causing green energy to shroud his body and charge up his Absorb attack. Piplup chose this moment to make a direct hit with its Peck, but the moment it touched Treecko’s aura, the light spread to the penguin draining it of its energy. The Piplup thrashed, but couldn’t escape until Treecko released his power. And when he did, the penguin slumped down, unable to battle further. ‘You did well Piplup,’ said Isaac, recalling his exhausted Pokémon. ‘Now I’ll use Staravia!’ The usual burst of light preceded the arrival of a large flying-type Pokémon, with mostly black and grey plumage. Its chest and face were pure white, and an elegant curl of deep black feathers erupted from its head. ‘Not good,’ Kai muttered, ‘that’s the evolved form of Starly.‘ He knew that flying types had an advantage over his grass-type Treecko. ‘But I won’t give up. Use Absorb again!’ Treecko’s body was again encased in green light, and tendrils of energy snaked their was towards the bird, Staravia. But Staravia gave one powerful beat with its wings, and blasted away Treecko’s attack, and rose into the air steadily gaining height. ‘Wing Attack!’ Treecko desperately tried to dodge, but the Staravia’s lightning fast aerial dive hit him right in the middle of his body. He gave a short cry, and then fell backwards onto the grass. ‘Treecko!’ cried Kai, running toward his fallen Pokémon. ‘Are you okay?’ Treecko gave a quiet groan, and slowly pulled himself to his feet, and then onto Kai. ‘You win,’ said Kai. ‘You battled well. Don’t get really disappointed, not many people win their first ever Pokémon battle. And you did defeat my Piplup, that’s something good to think about.’ Kai smiled, shaking the thoughts of defeat from his mind. ‘Sorry, it’s just that…I really thought I could win…’ ‘Don’t worry about it. Are you heading to Jubilife? If you are, maybe I could travel with you for a while and help you train your Pokémon. It’ll be fun.’ ‘Yeah I am. But I don’t know…’ ‘Go on. I won’t be around for too long, I’m headed for Canalave, which is west of Jubilife. As a new trainer, I take it you’ll be going for the gyms. The first is in the other direction, east at Oreburgh City.’ Kai considered the boy’s offer. He hadn’t bargained on having someone want to travel with him, he expected he would complete his journey on his own. He had thought he would do everything by himself, not due to a lack of friends but from his independant personality. But then again it would be nice having someone to talk to. ‘Okay then. Welcome to the team.’ Treecko also gave a weak ‘Treek’ of welcome. The two boys returned to the stony path, and began walking towards Jubilife. ‘So, where are you from?’ Kai asked, hoping to find out more about his new travelling partner. ‘Solaceon,’ Isaac responded. ‘I travelled down here to pick up my starter a few months ago, and have kept roundabouts this area since.’ ‘So was Piplup your first Pokémon?’ Isaac shook is head. ‘No, I already had one other Pokémon from home. But I did choose Piplup from Professor Rowan. My true starter was a Spiritomb I befriended at a strange pillar I found next to the river which flows past our town.’ ‘Wow! A Spiritomb! I don’t know that much about different Pokémon species, but I do know that Spiritomb are supposed to be really rare!’ ‘Yeah they are,’ said Isaac happily. ‘I was really surprised when it came to me. Thought it was trying to attack me at first, but I eventually found out it wanted to be my friend.’ Kai kicked a stone on the path, and watched as it skipped along, a trail of dust behind it. ‘Wish I had such cool Pokémon.’ Treecko hissed, offended. Isaac laughed, ‘It wasn’t that fun when I first found it believe me. It kept following me around everywhere I went and screeching to get my attention. I just couldn’t understand its obsession with me, and I still don’t after all this time. But somehow I’m much closer to Spiritomb than any of my other Pokemon.’ He paused, and then continued, ‘Oh and it’s shiny too.' ‘WHAT! You have a Spiritomb, AND it’s shiny!’ ‘Yup. Blue, rather than the usually purple colouring. Do you want to see it?’ Kai was about to say an angry retort, but decided against it. He knew he would get more good Pokémon in time, so there was no point in being jealous. Besides, there was nothing wrong with his Treecko and Shinx. ‘Not at the moment. We’re travelling together, so I guess I’ll see it sooner or later.’ ‘Suit yourself. So what about you? How’s your journey been so far?’ ‘Pretty eventful actually, considering how it’s only been a few days since I picked up Treecko.’ ‘You’re that new?! You battled well for a newbie.’ Isaac seemed honestly impressed ‘I did say it was my first match,’ Kai replied, slightly embarrassed. ‘I’m from Twinleaf Town. It’s really small, quite boring to tell you the truth. I spent ages dreaming about leaving so I could travel around Sinnoh and eventually be the best Card Tamer there is. I think my eagerness slowed me down though, I didn’t manage to graduate until I was fourteen.’ ‘Don’t keep putting yourself down though; I think you’re really good. Not as good as me of course,’ Isaac grinned. ‘But I’m sure that it won’t take you too long to train to league standards.’ ‘And when I do, no-one we be able to beat me,’ Kai replied in a tough voice. ‘Just don’t get too overconfident.’ ‘Just you wait and see.’
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days. Last edited by Sinnohdragon; 25th April 2010 at 1:46 PM.
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#15
6th March 2010, 1:40 PM
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Chapter 5: Departure ‘Look’s like we’ve arrived Birdy,’ Jack announced. The Natu squeaked happily, its large eyes darting in all directions to take in the new scenery. Jack could barely hold Birdy in his arms, due to the psychic bird’s excitement. ‘Now, I wonder where the Pokémon Centre is?’ Jack passed his eyes over the immense number of grey buildings, tall skyscrapers and huge shops. ‘I wish I’d spent more time here on my way down now. But then again, I was in a hurry to get Cyndaquil.’ For a moment, Jack stayed motionless, still taking in the new environment. However, Birdy’s eagerness forced Jack into a quick walk, and evading the busy shoppers, he began to search for the Pokémon Centre. It surprised Jack as to just how many people had Pokémon with them; not just in cards, but actually walking about. There were even some Pokémon who seemed completely independent fro.m their trainers and were wandering around on their own accord. Wild city Pokémon? Jack thought, catching a glimpse of purple sludge vanish down a gutter. ‘Tu!’ screeched Birdy suddenly. ‘What is it? Oh!’ said Jack, suddenly noticing what the Natu had seen - a small pink kitten with a creamy underbelly and long tail darting about behind a selection of metal dustbins. ‘I wonder if it’s the same Skitty?’ But Jack was unable to find out. By the time he had reached the spot, the Pokémon was no longer there. Giving up on the Skitty, Jack continuing though Jubilife City scanning the shops and buildings for their titles. ‘…The Pick-A-Chew Sweet Shop…Mudkipz Gaming Centre…Ditto That Style…Magikarp ‘N Chips…Mr. Munchlax’s Pokéfood…,’ Jack read. ‘Genuine Arbok-skin jackets! Half-price!’ cried a salesman who strutted about outside a fancy looking store. ‘No thanks,’ Jack muttered under his breath. ‘Killing rare Pokémon for their skins. It’s evil.’ Not much I can do about it though. But then Jack’s attention was drawn away by a large white building with a red roof, and a sign reading ‘Pokémon Centre’. ‘Can I help you?’ asked the Pokémon Nurse when Jack walked in. Inside the Pokémon Centre was fairly plain. Each one had a similar style and layout and Jubilife’s was no exception: a rectangular desk in the centre, escalators on either side of the room and a computer in the right corner. A young boy was sat on a chair next to a door labelled ‘Hospital Room’. He looked quite worried. Jack nodded to the blonde haired woman, and handed her Birdy. ‘Can you check his wing please? I think it’s damaged.’ ‘Of course,’ replied the nurse, heading to a clean table in the far end of the room. ‘And Jamie, can you please cheer up,’ she said to the other boy, ‘Your Yanma will be fine.’ The boy didn’t look convinced. ‘What happened?’ Jack asked. The Nurse was tending to Birdy, so Jack approached Jamie. ‘Had a battle…’ he muttered quietly. ‘I’m sure your Pokémon will be okay. They don’t die in battles,’ said Jack gently. This seemed to make Jamie panic even more. ‘But I didn’t want to! She made me!’ ‘What do you mean she made you? Jamie, were you forced to battle?’ The boy nodded, but kept his face lowered. ‘But why?’ ‘She…she said she would hurt me if I didn’t battle. She said she wanted to beat all the people in Jubilife to prove she was the best…’ After this, Jamie’s speech became inaudible due to an apparent fresh flow of tears. ‘Here you go,’ announced the nurse cheerfully, handing Birdy back. ‘Your Natu is fine now.’ ‘Umm, thanks. Do you know about what happened to Jamie?’ ‘He got beaten in a rather rough Pokémon battle, that’s all. He needs to know when to battle, and when to stay out of a fight. He’s just overreacted a bit.’ Jack accepted Birdy and then left the Pokémon Centre. He didn’t agree with what the nurse had said; Jamie was really scared stiff about the battle he had been in. But there isn’t really anything I can do about it, he thought. ‘Nat, tu?’ chirped Birdy. ‘At least you’re okay now. Birdy, would you like to stay with me?’ The Natu seemed to consider his question, before replying with a series of excited cheeps. ‘I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then,’ said Jack, smiling. He drew a blank card fro.m his pocket, and held it above the Pokémon. ‘Capture Pokémon!’ A faint light enveloped Birdy before pulling the Natu into the card, which now read the Pokémon’s stats. ‘That’s how to do it,’ whispered Jack confidently. ‘Make friends with them.’ At that moment, a blur of grey-blue skidded into Jack’s view, pausing to reveal itself as a small quadruped Pokémon. ‘Umm. Hello?’ said Jack warily. ‘Phan!’ roared the creature, scraping its forelimbs against the pavement and raising its large rounded ears, crested by red streaks. A longish snout grew fro.m its hardened head, also emblazoned with red armour. ‘What do you want?’ Jack asked. ‘What I want, is a battle!’ screeched a female voice, and then stepped around the corner. She had short black hair, and wore a scruffy t-shirt and torn jeans. ‘You will battle my Phanpy!’ ‘Wait a minute, who said I wanted to battle?’ The look on the girl’s face was ferocious, and her brown eyes were narrowed in a menacing glare. ‘If you don’t battle, I’ll make Phanpy attack you!’ Jack’s memory of Jamie in the Pokémon Centre was still fresh on his mind, and this girl fitted his description perfectly. ‘Did you beat a boy with a Yanma earlier today?’ ‘Yeah! He was well wimpy! Ran away screaming like a girl after two minutes!’ ‘Why did you force him to battle?’ ‘Well I gotta prove myself don’t I? They said I wasn’t allowed to battle at Trainer’s School because they said I didn’t know how!’ Jack was astonished by the girl’s cold determination. ‘But you didn’t need to force him, or threaten him. Why couldn’t you just battle someone else?’ ‘Cause I gotta beat everyone to prove I’m the best! Now choose your Pokémon for me to thrash before I make you!’ ‘Really, girls like you ought to be locked up,’ came the voice of another person. Jack looked around. Two boys had found the side street in which he and the girl were arguing. They appeared to be roughly his age by height, and most likely carried Pokémon with them. Jack was partly relieved, and also partly worried. He didn’t know what these two would do. The boy who had spoken stepped forward. He was very similar in appearance to the other; both had mid-length brown hair and bright blue eyes. ‘We’ve finally tracked you little menace down again.’ The girl sighed. ‘Oh why did you bother following me? I said I’m only interested in beating people fro.m Jubilife. I don’t care about you.’ ‘I’m not fro.m Jubilife,’ Jack interjected. ‘Well you look weak enough to thrash anyway,’ she snapped. ‘You know full well we didn’t follow you because we wanted to battle you,’ said the other boy. He glanced at Jack and smiled apologetically. ‘You can make your escape now if you want to, we can deal with her.’ ‘No, it’s okay. I can help actually, I know what she’s been doing. I'm Jack by the way.’ ‘We’ve seen what she’s been doing. I’m Isaac by the way, and my friend is Kai.’ ‘And you can stop calling me ‘she’! The name’s Blaise,’ said the girl harshly. ‘Now battle!’ Jack looked nervous, but was saved by Isaac stepping forward. ‘I’ll battle you.’ Blaise considered Isaac’s request for a moment, then agreed. ‘I can prove to you that I’m the best Card Tamer in the whole of Jubilife!’ ‘If,’ said Kai, ‘you stop forcing people to battle. Don’t threaten people. You can battle as much as you like, but only if the other person wants to, okay?’ ‘Whatever. Phanpy, go!’ The little elephant jumped in front of Blaise and reared onto its hind legs in an intimidating pose. ‘Spiritomb!’ A blast of grey mist burst fro.m Isaac’s card causing the hairs on the back of Jack’s neck to rise. The air seemed to cool a few degrees as the shadows grouped together into an eerie blue rotating spiral of souls, rippling fro.m the small stone they were rooted too. Blotches of purple pulsed fro.m within it, circling its void-like mouth and empty, staring eyes. ‘Wow!' Jack stared at the ghost-type in amazement; it wasn’t just any Spiritomb as rare as they might be, but a shiny one! Kai seemed to be equally impressed. ‘I said I’ll show you sooner or later,’ said Isaac. Blaise eyed the Spiritomb warily, then forced her face into its usual scowl. ‘How scary,’ she muttered sarcastically, ‘A little blue ghostly thing. Phanpy, use Take Down!’ The Phanpy reared onto its hind legs before suddenly diving towards Isaac’s Spiritomb. The ghost-type made no move to dodge the attack, causing Jack to glance at Isaac in confusion, wasn’t he going to do anything? But the Phanpy let out a shriek of annoyance just as realisation hit Jack - ghost Pokémon were completely resistant to normal type attacks! Phanpy had run straight through the rotating spirits that made up Spiritomb’s body, and the ghost-type hadn’t even flinched. ‘No fair!’ Blaise shouted, ‘You’ve totally got the advantage!’ Phanpy, still dazed fro.m hitting no target other than solid ground, also squealed in annoyance. ‘Any good trainer knows that normal moves don’t affect ghost Pokémon Blaise. If you were as good as you say you are you would create a strategy to work around that problem,’ Isaac retorted. ‘And,’ Kai added, ‘haven’t you just been taking the advantage on innocent children?’ Blaise was now seething with anger, but she also seemed to be struggling to come to terms with what the boys had said. ‘I’m allowed to prove myself.’ ‘And that’s what gyms are for,’ continued Kai. ‘Now are you going to stop your little tirade and come to your senses, or continue acting like a three-year old?’ Isaac asked, knowing full well that there wasn’t a thing Phanpy could do. ‘Blaise,’ said Jack, approaching the girl warily, ‘you don’t need to do this.’ Blaise stared at the ground, refusing to make eye contact. She shuddered, and then put her steely gaze on Jack. ‘I know.’ She spoke quietly. ‘But I don’t need you to tell me that! Leave me alone!’ And with that, she turned and ran back onto the main street soon lost between groups of shoppers, her Phanpy trailing after her sending dust and stones into the air. The boys looked at each other for a moment not speaking, letting the turn of events sink in. Isaac silently recalled his Spiritomb. ‘Well that was easy,’ stated Kai. ‘Kai, Jack and Isaac, the amazing little girl obedience squad.’ he grinned to himself. ‘So where are we going next?’ Jack was still looking nervous. ‘Do you think she’s okay?’ ‘Of course she is. Now she’ll know to pick on people her own size,’ Isaac insisted. ‘That’ll be midgets then,’ Kai snickered. ‘Seriously Jack, I’m more worried about you to be honest. You actually looked like you were scared of her.’ ‘Well, she was quite scary….’ Kai and Isaac burst out laughing. ‘Well, if that’s over with I’d best be on my way. I’m going to Canalave remember?’ ‘Oh,’ Kai muttered, remembering their arrangement. Isaac and him would travel together until they got to Jubilife city when he would then take the eastern route to Oreburgh, and Isaac would go the opposite direction. ‘That went so fast. And I was actually enjoying your company.’ ‘I’m sure we can meet up again some other time.’ ‘Maybe…What about you Jack? Where are you headed?’ ‘Nowhere in particular. I’m training for now. But then I’ll be after Pokémon Contests!’ ‘I have an idea,’ said Isaac,’ how about you and Jack travel together? Then Jack can do his training and you won’t get lonely.’ ‘Who said I was gonna be lonely? Kai blurted, going slightly red in embarrassment. ‘I just liked having someone to talk to.’ ‘I wouldn’t mind talking to you Kai,’ said Jack in assurance. ‘As long as you don’t talk to me.’ This time it was Isaac and Jack laughing. Kai looked angry for a second before giving in. ‘Fine, I’ll allow Jack to follow me. See you around Isaac.’ ‘Bye then. Don’t lose fights to girls, don’t eat too much chocolate, and don’t forget to change your underwear.’ ‘Hey!’ Kai replied angrily, but then went along with the joke. ‘Do you want me to send you a birthday card as well?’ ‘That would be nice. Sixth of June, and not a day late okay?’ Jack nearly fell over laughing. ‘Bye for now, said Kai, and he and Jack finally turned to leave their new friend.
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days. Last edited by Sinnohdragon; 16th March 2010 at 4:29 PM.
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#16
8th March 2010, 4:05 AM
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*walks in as if she weren't horrifically late*
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Normally I wouldn't like that Dahn and Mesprit are actual friends, but since their relationship isn't stuffed with happy-day flower-and-rainbow perfection (am I getting an ever-so-slight "controlling" vibe from Dahn?), I can believe it. Which means -1 Gary Stu for you. ^_^ I thought at first that Jack might catch the Skitty, which are just as adorable as Shinx, but I guess not. Although looking at the chapter list, we might not have seen the last of it. :D More reviewing to come later, when I'm not feeling quite as lazy. :p
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Pokemon: Beedrill | Bishies: Roark & Morty | Fic: Blazing Frost | Apology (One-shot)
Chapter 22 (No Cause For a Crossfire) is up. Sometimes character-building chapters are pure philosophy. Luckily, this is not one of those times.
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#17
13th March 2010, 10:26 AM
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DDT: Better late than never :P Edits done and ty
2 announcements now: [1] If you check the OP you'll find that i've tidied up the character list section. Clicking the spoiler once will show current teams, and clicking the second spoiler will show biographies which contain many spoilers. [2] Production will be a bit slower since a) i've used up all my ready-made chapters, and b) to give my reviewer Chapter 6: Skitty Having finished shopping for supplies for the boys’ impending journey, Jack and Kai were almost ready to leave Jubilife City. Kai had quickly labelled the city ‘almost as boring as his hometown, Twinleaf’ (mainly due to the lack of a Pokémon Gym, but also because having been educated in Jubilife's Pokémon Academy he already knew the city pretty well). Jack was less inclined to that opinion due to the appealing variety of shops, but eventually deemed it was time to go. Well, nearly time to go. ‘I thought you were done buying stuff,’ Kai moaned, ‘I seriously doubt we need that many Potions and Full Heals. The Capture Cards maybe, but why the glitter? That’s just absurd.’ Jack sighed, ‘I told you. I, unlike you, am not obsessed with repeatedly battling other Pokémon. Sure I want to be a good fighter, but Contests are much more exciting. My Cyndaquil and Natu would look amazing when they come out of they’re cards in bursts of sparkles.’ ‘Fine, but can we go to Oreburgh already?’ ‘There’s just one more thing,’ Jack insisted, rounding another corner of one of the many busy streets in Jubilife. They had passed most of the more popular shops and were now entering the business estates. Expensive looking buildings were lined one after the other with official logos and various advertisements hosted in their windows. Then Kai came to an abrupt stop, mouthing the word ‘wow’. Jack glanced in the direction he was staring. ‘Kai, its only the TV Station. No reason to go all hyper about it.’ ‘But it's huge! And there’s a massive flat screen TV on the wall!’ Jack shook his heads in embarrassment, desperately hoping that any passers-by hadn’t witnessed Kai’s mouth-open drooling, or even better hadn’t realised that Jack had anything to do with the weirdo. Luckily, this particular street was significantly less busy than the shopping streets. ‘Why thank you for pointing out the obvious Kai, now let’s get going before people start staring. Anyway, you've spent how many years of your life in Jubilife? You can't be seriously saying that you've never seen the TV Station before?’ Kai turned a pale shade of red, mumbling something about not having been to this section of the city before. Admittedly though, the screen was pretty impressive stretching across the entirety of the TV station. Adverts were rolling on after each other flashing blurred colours onto every surface opposite it. But finally Kai allowed himself to be dragged away by Jack into the much smaller building next to it. The Pokétch Company, next to the TV station, looked rather bland, sporting only a few brightly coloured flags. The layout of the interior slightly resembled that of a Pokémon Centre, with a single large desk and stairs to the upper floors. At least Kai didn’t look too disappointed, as he eventually got the message that he could upload some new apps onto his Pokétch. Kai muttered something inaudible about ‘rubbish initial apps’. The over-helpful woman at the desk assisted the boys in each downloading various new functions, as well as hinting heavily that they should buy some of the more expensive and unnecessary ones. Jack was once again dragging Kai at that point, but this time out of the building before the newly released ‘Movie Application’ could distract him. ‘Stop complaining Kai, we’re going to Oreburgh now,’ announced Jack. That appeased Kai immediately, and this time he was the one leading Jack to the entrance of Route 203. ~~~ ‘Oh no, not her again,’ Kai groaned. Jack looked around in confusion, and then he saw a familiar shorthaired eleven-year-old girl in the shadow of a tree. ‘I thought we’d seen the last of her,’ he continued. ‘You don’t have to talk to her,’ said Jack. ‘I’m not so sure about that.’ Kai stopped walking along the sandy path of Route 203 as Blaise approached with a scowl on her face. Despite her small size she looked quite formidable; defeat didn’t seem to bother her. She rounded the small pond that was sparkling in the late afternoon sun. ‘What do you want now?’ Kai sighed. Jack watched her nervously; he knew what this girl was capable of. Maybe her loss from earlier that day hadn’t dissuaded her from challenging everything in sight. ‘Don’t speak to me like that,’ she spat indignantly, ‘I thought about what you said this morning and luckily for you, I’m going to go along with it.’ Kai raised his eyebrows. Blaise lowered her face, a hint of embarrassment reddening her skin. ‘Actually I need your help.’ She looked up, apprehensive, her stony gaze betraying the truth in her words. ‘What’s the matter?’ Jack asked, nervousness turning into concern. He shot Kai a look that translated to ‘don’t be mean’. Kai quickly straightened the grin that had been forming on his face. ‘Umm… My Pokétch got stolen…’ ‘By who?’ ‘A Pokémon…’ Kai couldn’t restrain his laughter. ‘Unbelievable! You spend all your time bullying other people and then a random Pokémon nicks your Pokétch. Awesome!’ Blaise glared at him. ‘It’s not funny! I wouldn’t have bothered asking for help if I didn’t need it!’ She folded her arms. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll help you.’ ‘Whoever said I was gonna help?’ burst out Kai. Then he saw the look on Jack’s face. ‘Fine, but I’m not exerting any more effort than necessary in getting that Pokétch back.’ ‘Ok Blaise, can you explain what happened?’ Jack asked. Pleased, Blaise rushed into an explanation of what had happened since her escape from the boys earlier. ‘I was training Phanpy at the edge of Route 203 because I’m not supposed to go down routes on my own. I thought if I trained against wild Pokémon I’d be being more responsible, and then I can prove to my mum that I can look after myself and she might even get me another Pokémon because I won’t get my starter until I graduate and that’s years away. So Phanpy had just finished beating a Budew when this pink thing pops up from like, nowhere, and jumps up and pulls my Pokétch from my wrist. Then it just runs away into the trees and I tried chasing after it but I couldn’t find it. And now my mum’s gonna be well unhappy ‘cos one, I’ve gone further than I’m allowed, and two, I’ve lost the Pokétch which my mum got me for my birthday because the ones they give you at graduation are rubbish.’ Kai gaped. ‘Are you done yet?’ Ignoring Kai, Jack proceeded to question Blaise. ‘Do you know what the pink Pokémon was?’ ‘Nope,’ Blaise muttered helpfully. ‘But it kind of looked like a kitten. Big ears, big tail. Yellow face.’ Jack nodded slowly, he recognised the description. I wonder if it’s the same one? He thought to himself. ‘I think it was a Skitty. They like shiny things and things that move around. Were you waving your arms about be any chance?’ ‘Maybe,’ she said sheepishly. ‘Also, what colour is the Pokétch? It would help up find it if we knew.’ ‘Orange.’ ‘Right, so I we going to start looking for this thing or not?’ asked Kai, faking a yawn. ‘I can use my Pokémon to help.’ He pulled his two cards from his jeans pocket and held them in the air, a stream of light erupted from each one and his two Pokémon materialised on the ground. ‘Ko!’ screeched Treecko happily as it bounced around on the grass. Meanwhile Shinx blinked cautiously and swivelled its blue ears. ‘Good idea Kai,’ spoke Jack, and both he and Blaise mimicked Kai’s movements and released their own Pokémon. Flutterfree, Birdy and Phanpy patiently waited for any instructions, but Cyndaquil entered a battle pose with his short fur bristling and growling at every Pokémon that wasn’t Jack’s. ‘Cyndaquil, leave them alone!’ The fire mouse ignored Jack, instead leaping onto Kai’s Shinx, which in turn started squealing and hissing hysterically whilst trying to get away. Spiked flames erupted from Cyndaquil’s back. Kai quickly dived in between the two Pokémon snatching his one out of the way. Shinx’s fur stood on end and its small body was shaking in fright. ‘What’s with that crazed Cyndaquil?!’ he demanded, glaring at the battle-hungry Pokémon. Jack quickly recalled Cyndaquil before it could decide on its next target. He sighed quietly; he had been hoping that the fire-mouse's violent nature was restricted to Pokémon battles only. Apparently he was wrong. ‘Ok everyone, I need you to spread out and look for Blaise’s Pokétch,’ Jack explained. ‘It’s orange and has been taken hostage by a wild Skitty. You know what a Skitty is right?’ The Pokémon looked blank, with the exception of a faint nod of recognition from the Natu and Butterfree. Jack sighed, ‘Well, just don’t hurt the Skitty. Try and find the Pokétch and meet up back here just before sundown. We do need to set up camp some time before it gets dark.’ The Pokémon split up and wandered in different directions with varying levels of ‘I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing but I’ll go along with this anyway’. Kai accompanied the timid Shinx, Blaise followed Phanpy and Jack went with Birdy because he knew that Flutterfree could look after herself. ~~~ ‘Sensing anything yet Birdy?’ Jack asked the psychic bird which was teleporting from branch to branch through the dense trees. Natu stopped and its large eyes turned a shade of pale blue; he was using telepathy to try and locate the Skitty by searching for its thoughts, not that he had much to go by. His red head and tail feathers were ruffling from a non-existent breeze. ‘Natu, Natu,’ Birdy shook his head, disappointed. ‘It’s ok Birdy, I’m sure we’ll find it soon.’ Jack glanced at the sky, which was slowly turning from blue to pink as the sun began to set. They had spotted several plump Bidoof minding their own business, and even caught sight of an Abra vanishing into nothingness, but there was still no sign of the kitten Pokémon. A sudden flutter of wings alerted Jack to the approach of Flutterfree. The Butterfree waved her antenna and wiggled her small powder-blue arms in the direction of a thick clump of brambles accompanied with a soft chorus of ‘feeheee’. Birdy joined in at that point, it’s spherical body floating over the foliage Flutterfree had indicated. Jack rushed towards the spot, brushing past thorn entangled branches and leafy ferns. He could here a faint squealing coming from the inside of the spiky bush in front of him. Could that be Skitty? ‘Flutterfree, use Flash so I can see better.’ With a single flutter from her monochrome wings, a cloud of spores floated into the air each becoming an explosion of light once they were about a foot from the butterfly. The spores illuminated the section of brambles with the efficiency equal to a small sun burning into existence above them. ‘There’s something there!’ Jack exclaimed. Sure enough, a round pink-and-cream face with a pair of large, pointed ears was partially sticking out of the bush. Its body appeared to be covered in scratches from struggling to free itself from its thorny cage. At the sight of Jack, it increased the pitch of its squealing and started struggling even more furiously. ‘Stop moving, Skitty, I’m going to try and get you out of there.’ ‘Skii?’ mewed the Pokémon as Jack slowly moved his hands towards it, gently pulling back the brambles. Ignoring the fact that his un-sleeved arms were probably covered in cuts, Jack continued to remove the plants until the Skitty was finally released. As soon as it realised it was free, it jumped up and clung to Jack’s t-shirt constantly squeaking its appreciation at being rescued. ‘I’m glad you’re ok,’ said Jack, soothing the kitten. To be honest I’m surprised its managed to get itself into another mess. What do I do now? Jack thought for a moment, then the best option to keep the Skitty safe occurred to him. ‘Skitty, would you like to join my team?’ ‘Skitteh!’ it mewed in excitement, and started going hyper again. Jack was smiling when the overeager Pokémon was absorbed into one of his empty Capture Cards. He noted the gender – female. What a surprise. He put the card in his pocket, and also recalled Birdy and Flutterfree. Then he suddenly remembered the reason for the hunt: Blaise’s Pokétch. He knelt down again and sifted through the leaves around the bramble, eventually finding the orange Pokétch under a pile of twigs. ‘Mission successful, time to back,’ he said aloud, pleased with the way things had turned out. ~~~ ‘What took you so long?’ Kai asked when Jack returned. He had evidently got bored of waiting for him, and had surprisingly made the effort of putting the tent up. He had also, not so surprisingly, started on the food. ‘We got back hours ago. Blaise did wait for a bit but then said she had to go home because it was far too late. We didn’t find the Pokétch, but she left Phanpy here in case you brought it back. Did you get it back?’ Jack held the Pokétch out. ‘Here it is. And that’s not the only thing I found,’ he continued, revealing Skitty’s card. ‘You caught it? Lucky you,’ Kai looked genuinely disappointed, he had mentioned a few times that he was looking forward to catching some new Pokémon. Jack wasn’t so sure that he would have appreciated the over-the-top Skitty though. Phanpy trotted up to Jack having recognised the bright orange Pokétch. It swung its short trunk in the air to signal that it was ready to deliver it to its owner. Once Phanpy received the item (tied securely to its rounded back), he took off into the growing darkness. Kai yawned. ‘Well I’m glad that’s finished with. By this time tomorrow I’ll have my first badge and I would have officially started my journey.’ He clambered into the tent and was already snoring by the time Jack crawled in after. ~~~ The still water of the lake shimmered with the scattered reflection of the stars in the cold night sky. There was no wind, so the tiny crystal snowflakes fell in gentle pillars settling on the snow-coated banks or disintegrating in the water. A rim of smooth ice encrusted the edge of the lake and patches of frozen grass stuck out at irregular intervals. At the centre of the lake, a small island capped by a rocky mound dominated the scene. An indistinguishable aura, which gave it a feel of importance and mystery, seemed to emanate from it. This contrasted to its insignificant size. A dark shadow was slowly creeping over the snowy bank, a rhythm of crunching caused by heavy footsteps. It was a human; tall and strong framed. A dark purple cloak blurred the line where it trailed into shadow and also shrouded the figure’s features. If it weren’t for the time of day, he may have given the impression of an innocent person on a stroll around Lake Acuity. May have. Despite the darkness, it was clear from the way he moved – a purposeful, confident stride – that he was here for a reason. He was searching for something. Suddenly he stopped; a movement over the lake had attracted his interest. He stared at the spot for several minutes, so still that he could have blended into the night sky. When nothing else happened, he shook his head and continued walking, his cloak sweeping across the snow.
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days. Last edited by Sinnohdragon; 25th April 2010 at 2:10 PM.
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#18
14th March 2010, 10:38 PM
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Mad because I typed a review for all three chapters but the forum ate it ffffffffffffffff >:/ So I'll let some grammar errors go for now, because the idea of typing the ENTIRE THING again is just ...
Chapter 4~ Quote:
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Now, about Isaac's *shiny*: you need to be careful not to turn him into a Gary Stu. Very careful. There should be a good justification as to why he has a shiny, especially of such a rare Pokemon. Aside from that, Treecko's antics are still awesome. *nod*
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Pokemon: Beedrill | Bishies: Roark & Morty | Fic: Blazing Frost | Apology (One-shot)
Chapter 22 (No Cause For a Crossfire) is up. Sometimes character-building chapters are pure philosophy. Luckily, this is not one of those times.
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#19
15th March 2010, 5:35 PM
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DDT:
Aww, i honestly feel your pain there. Seriously. You make a lot of effort to help me and then it just gets eaten :/ I'm sorry about that. I can't believe how many stupid mistakes i had that time even without the gramatical errors. Gone through and fixed. ^^ I see your point about Isaac, but the problem is i can't really remove the shiny Spiritomb. Since he's the friend i mentioned who's in the story and that's his favourite Pokémon :P Luckily he won't be a very important character (in this fic anyway) but he'll turn out to be a 'shiny hunter'.
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The Pokémon Council has been influenced by an unknown group to remove Pokéballs from use and a mysterious man is attempting to uncover the secrets of the Sinnoh Lakes. Can Jack and Kai save the legends before its too late? Current chapter: (9) ~Problem~ Banner made by the very talented Skiyomi Yami Yugi and Yusei Fudo are my bishies I'm rather inactive at the moment. Partly due to school stuff, and partly due to writer's block. But you can find me here most days.
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#20
16th March 2010, 3:51 AM
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Oh, it's okay. It's partially my own fault. I knew I should've copied it before going on ... but I didn't, of course, and well ... :/
I suppose the shiny thing makes sense. Though of course you should still be careful with how and if he finds more. Because they're, y'know, rare. :P Chapter 5~ Quote:
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Wow, Blaise is ... weird. Seems like a kinda troubled person to me o0; The boys handled her pretty well, though. And yay for the glimpse of Skitty! :D
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Pokemon: Beedrill | Bishies: Roark & Morty | Fic: Blazing Frost | Apology (One-shot)
Chapter 22 (No Cause For a Crossfire) is up. Sometimes character-building chapters are pure philosophy. Luckily, this is not one of those times.
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Prologue ~ This post
Chapter 1: 
Chapter 2: 
Chapter 3: 
Chapter 4: 
Chapter 5: 
Chapter 6: 
Chapter 7: 
Chapter 8: 
Chapter 10: Disturbance ~ 08.05.10
Chapter 11: Trade ~ 22.05.10
Chapter 12: Nicknames ~ 05.06.10
Linear Mode
