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  #1  
Old 1st April 2007, 11:45 AM
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Shizuru Shizuru is offline
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After a worldwide catastrophic event, pokemon and humans don't quite get along anymore. Post-apocalypse sorta thing. So.. here's a story about a hired gun named Duplica, who still has her little ditto friend. ^^;.

I'm trying to do a new style in this comic so I can actually learn how to draw, playing around with photoshop, patterns, etc. So please leave criticism and suggestions to help me improve ^^; Thank you :D

Page 1
Page 2

i feel so corny~ XD
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Last edited by Shizuru; 2nd April 2007 at 4:57 AM.
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  #2  
Old 1st April 2007, 10:49 PM
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No more chibis eh? ;P Anyway, looks good by far, you definitely improved from loli looking chibis. MOAR I say!
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  #3  
Old 2nd April 2007, 5:00 AM
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XD Thanks, I'm glad you approve at least ^^

Done with Page 2 ^^;;

gah, pages should really be the same size, shouldn't they.. >_<
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  #4  
Old 2nd April 2007, 8:19 AM
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Hmmm, sad that nobody replies on this huge improvement. Anyway, it's all good for the pages. ;P I like how you depict Sabrina in here. ^_^ Anyway, I wanna see more. =D
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  #5  
Old 2nd April 2007, 10:13 PM
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I tried to comment earlier, but Sppf kept dying on me. .____.
..Ahem.

omfg! Shizuru comics! (I was upset 'cause it didn't look like you were gonna continue Broken Waffles, but a new project's fun, too! ^_^) It sounds like a super-nifty plot, and the artwork's pretty super. ^^ I'd see Duplica's legs get a little longer in proportion to her torso, but it's still awesome. =3 Second page is pretty, too- I do like your new style. Although they were -awesome- chibis. ^_^
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  #6  
Old 2nd April 2007, 10:39 PM
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Oh? You're really back, eh?

Since it is the beginning I can't say too much, as I don't know where you're going exactly. Wherever it is I'm sure it'll be pretty wet 'n wild... Um... in all the right ways.

I would suggest that you would play with a few more different shades of gray as I have a bit of a hard time telling where a shard of clothing starts or ends.
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  #7  
Old 2nd April 2007, 10:47 PM
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Aww.. no more loli-chibis! Oh, well, I like this style very much too! The plot is unique, and I'm hooked in, so I'll be watching for the next page.
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  #8  
Old 3rd April 2007, 9:07 PM
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Thanks for your input everyone ^_^ You guys keep me going. ;-;

Quote:
Originally Posted by buster_wolf View Post
I like how you depict Sabrina in here. ^_^
Thanks ^^;; But... Not all too sure what to do with Sabrina. She was all... like.. soulless, evil person, then became insanely prone to fits of laughter... so what kind of person should she be now? ^^;;

Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinity View Post
I would suggest that you would play with a few more different shades of gray as I have a bit of a hard time telling where a shard of clothing starts or ends.
It is a big ambiguous, isn't it.. I've only been using black/white with different amounts of pressure, I'll try and get it to look more separate and cleaner, thanks ^^.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EmberGryphon View Post
I'd see Duplica's legs get a little longer in proportion to her torso
Ah, so her legs should be longer. Yea, they would look kinda weird stretched out XD; I just realized I forgot to scribble in her belt-like thing, so it looks like an exposed stomach or something x_o. Tips on anatomy are really appreciated---where things go, I do not know. ^^;;;

Quote:
Originally Posted by MochiShroom View Post
The plot is unique, and I'm hooked in, so I'll be watching for the next page. :)
Thank you ^_^ I wanted to do something sorta different than what I normally do ^^;;. (referring to deformed lolis.)

Wah.. the deal with Waffles I sorta ran dry there. I have a few ideas left to continue, but also the urge to remake. I'm also scared of starting a bunch of new threads, so I guess I'll post what I have left in this thread ^^;; Also, drawlings only really get done when I'm procrastinating studying. x_o

Agh, I was gonna finish this with an update but realized I screwed up on it x_o Next time then ^^;; And thanks again you guys :D
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  #9  
Old 3rd April 2007, 9:11 PM
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It's extremely well made. Sabrina seemed very in-character. Also, #626. Do I smell a Lilo and Stitch reference?

(For those who don't know, Stitch's "real" name was Experiment 626).
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  #10  
Old 4th April 2007, 6:57 AM
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*froths at the mouth*
Holy hell. I feel like I'm actually reading a manga. Sorta.
I love you. Draw more.
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  #11  
Old 4th April 2007, 7:35 AM
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Unless you're gonna print them out, size isn't really such a big deal at the moment, so meh on that.

Your first page looks very crisp and clean, possibly a bit bare with the backgrounds though I do like the textures and the last panel is very nicely set out.
I'd suggest arranging your layout a little different for that page perhaps. You've got alot of empty space in the first panel. Perhaps a different camera angle would of worked better instead of just a straight on. Maybe tilted up from the bottom more or some such.. (uh yeah, bit of a pain but it'd add to the dynamics of the picture n such)
Second panel again is a bit too blank, needs something more in the background, even if it were just a shadow or something.

Your second page seems very messy in comparisson with the first. It gives the effect of the whole dank and icky feelings of a cell but it's also confusing on first glance. With the panel of Sabrina in the cell it would of worked better with a flat textured tone instead of the scribbled black walls. It also would of made it easier to do the white outline/highlighting to make her stand out more against it. Especially for her body/legs that disappear into I can't tell what shape. I'm not sure if she's laying down or sitting or standing or what (if she is sitting down with her legs up, her body/legs are much too short for that head)

Sitting Sabrina in the bottom panel has the one anatomy problem over all the figures that really bothers me. For how long her lower legs are her upper legs are horibly short, even for the pose she's in. Also if she's sat on the ground with one leg lent over the top of the other, the thigh of the leg ontop will come up higher than the one it's sitting on. Other words it should be angled up from her body enough that where the knees cross it looks like it's ontop of it and you shouldn't be able to see as much of the thigh behind it (not at the view we're seeing anyways).. if that's too confusing say so and I'll try and clear it up.
Last little bit is that the last Sabrina shot disappears into the background too much. She needs a harder contrast between herself and it. For that matter she needs harder contrast in herself as well. She needs some solid black in her as apposed to all the sketchyness. Either her coat or her hair needed to be a solid black (with shine for definition) so they didn't bleed into each other. And to make her stand out from the background either a thicker black outline on that side or a paler/white glow to make her stand out from it.

Hope that's helpful.

Anyways, overall it's a good start and more needs to be seen to comment further! I really like the shiny eyes you have and the concept idea behind your story sounds nifty. So to see more shall be good ^^
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  #12  
Old 4th April 2007, 7:55 AM
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It's not bad, but it's not great by any means. Take more time with your art; at this point it looks too sketchy. And it's a shame you decided to rely on a character created by someone else.
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  #13  
Old 5th April 2007, 6:21 AM
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Eep.. post didna go through when I thought it did. *posts again*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nebula View Post
Also, #626. Do I smell a Lilo and Stitch reference?
Yes, you got it! XD I love that movie *___*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clockworkz View Post
I feel like I'm actually reading a manga.
Wah... I hope to one day be able to do something like that *__* ..Not really, doujins are my goal *cough* ^^;;;

Quote:
Originally Posted by Who Said Pikachu? View Post
Hope that's helpful.
O__O!
Wow, thanks for taking the time to type all that up ^^ It definitely helps me out a lot. Yay for correcting anatomy! XD I'm really not used to trying to drawl kinda full sized peoples ^^;; Positions kill me x_o More contrast and better use of patterns sounds pretty sweet too. But I'm sorta terrified to draw my own backgrounds ^^;. This advice is really great, thank you *__*

Quote:
Originally Posted by blueguy View Post
It's not bad, but it's not great by any means. Take more time with your art; at this point it looks too sketchy. And it's a shame you decided to rely on a character created by someone else.
Ah, yea, I kind of wanted a sketchy look, but now I see that it is too sketchy and rushed-looking. And the characters.. I figured given only one or two episodes each in the show, they weren't really defined so.. I can sorta shape em how I want em I guess ^^;;
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  #14  
Old 5th April 2007, 8:05 AM
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Hmmmm...don't have much to say except perhaps the character with the ditto and how her legs are a bit short, but that's all right. It's probably your style, ya?


Thanks for commenting on my fancomic, btw. ^_^
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