^ The Shining Emerald Chronicles ^

[Riyu+]

Rating:G, for everyone
Author:Riyu+..that's me!
Main Characters:Emerald (from PokeSpecial Manga), Frontier Brains

Chapter One:How it started

There is a gigantic entrance in an island far, far away. Inside the entrance, there is a whole new world for trainers. Infront of the entrance there is a small boy with wild yellow hair. He has a grin in his face and confidence in his heart. As the boy approaches the entrance, you could hear him say: "Let's go." The boy had a mission. A mission that one would think is too hard for a little boy. The boy failed on his previous mission, but he wouldn't fail in this one...at least that was what he thought.

As the boy crossed the large hallway that lead to the exit, he could see trainers and their Pokemon sitting on benches. "They don't even know what I'm up to....they'll be astonished." he thought to himself. The boy was anxious. He was a few steps from the exit. "Here we go." said the boy. Just as he finished saying this, a surrealist area appeard infront of him. "So I am here again.." said the boy. "Stop!" said a security man. "What's your name?" he continued. "Emerald's the name." replied the boy with style. "May I see your Fronteir Pass, Emerald?" asked the guard. "No problem." said Emerald while he stretched his extendable toy arm holding his Frontier Pass toward the guard. "Fine." said the guard laughing at Emerald's extendable arms.

"So, I am here. What was I soppoused to do again?..Oh, YES! I remmember now! Now..where the heck is the Battle Tower?" said the boy to himself. "Oh, yeah...I had a map on my FP! How foolish I am!". "Turn left,North,North,West...Nah! To difficult! I'll just use the little symbols!" shouted the boy laughing. After a couple of hours walking, Emerald finally noticed that he was walking in circles around the Battle Pike. "Geez! I'm going the wrong way!" After a couple of minutes , Emerald made his way to the Battle Tower. He ran towards the reception counter and demanded that he wanted to battle Anabel. "Fine! You do not have to shout at me!" said the counter lady. "Uhmm...excuse me Ms Anabel, a boy here who says that he knows you wants to battle you....Fine, I'll tell him. Anabel wants to meet you in the very last floor. Please follow me to the elevator." Emerald and the lady stepped into the elevator and reached the 100th floor. "Here we are, Mr. Emerald. I will meet you here when your battle ends." "Thanks" replied Emerald. Emerald stepped into a pitch-black room and a reflector suddendly aimed at a girl standing on a stair set. "EMERALD!" yelled the girl as she jumped from the 10 feet high stair set.

"So we meet again. Didn't I tell you to return when you were stronger?" asked Anabel. "Yes. That is the reason I am HERE!" yelled Emerald. "First of all, Anabel. I know what you've been doing. I know about your Flygon's birth place, I know that it is ILEGAL here at the BF. Let me tell you something, I will set him free TODAY." said Emerald with fire showing up on his eyes. "Really? In order to even think about doing that, you must BEAT me." replied Anabel. "That's myu visit's porpouse" said Emerald. "Fine, I'll take you on". "Go, Sceptile!". "Go! Flygon!". "Face it Emerald, you can't beat me." said Anabel. "Oh, really? GO POKEBALL!" shouted Emerald as he threw a PokeBall at Flygon. The Pokeball succeed to catch Flygon. "WHAAAAAt! EMERALD I'LL KICK YOU!" shouted Anabel. "WHAAAAA!!!!" said Emerald as he took the elevator. "Phew..that was close. HAHAHA!" said Emerald. Just as Emerald was staring to get relaxed his joy would be replaced with fear as someone said:"TRAINERS IN THE BATTLE FRONTEIR. SOME BOY HAS STOLEN A POKEMON FROM ONE OF OUR FRONTIER BRAINS. THE BOY'S NAME IS EMERALD. GET HIM!!!!!". "Oh, perfect." said Emerald

[Zephyr Flare]

I'm tired, bear with me.

This falls below the 2 page minimum for chapters on this forum, what we also have is consistant text blocks that will hurt people's eyes. While there is more paragraphing that some, it's still fairly bad.

For speech what you should be doing is this:

"Hello there, sir! I am George!" the taller man shouted with glee as he fell into a bow and thrusted hand ready for a shake.
"Greetings then, Mr. George! I am Bob myself, how do you do?" Exclaims the shorter of the pair, swiftly taking the hand and shaking in greeting.

Paragraphs are for scene changes, drop lines like this are good for separating out speech. Please do go read the Fanfiction Rules and Advice for Aspiring Authors as theya re there to be read not sit pretty. They will also help you more than a tired mod. So closing for quality and length breach.